Asking a girl's dad for permission to go out with his daughter

[MGlBlaze]

If someone - anyone - feels the need to 'test' their relationship or a person like that, there is already something wrong.

Anyone who gives such ultimatums is not worth knowing. The logic behind the request is also incredibly faulty as asking her father for something does not prove that I would be able to 'protect' her in any way, if not prove things to the contrary.

Now, if they instead asked me to ask their father's permission because they were too nervous about it to do it themselves (They should never have to, by the way) it would be a different story although I would have a lot of very unpleasant questions about their and their father's behaviour, or if she simply wanted me to meet her parents first that would be totally fine; but as the situation stands?

Fuck that.

 

[Floppertje]

geez guys, it's not the sixties anymore.
If I had a daughter I really wouldn't need a guy to ask me before he could date her.
mainly because I've raised her to be smart enough to know who she should and shouldn't date
of course I'd want to meet him, but not before they even start dating.

 

[Booze Zombie]

If her father is a dick, no. If he's a reasonable person, yes.

However, I don't see this happening anymore. Rabid individualism has overpowered old-fashioned rituals like this.

 

[Communist partisan]

So, if you loved a girl and she loved you, but the one condition for you two to go out would be asking her father's permission, would you do it? The reason she wants you to do this is to show you have the courage to look after her, and she's looking for someone that can protect her and asking her father's permission proves this to her, would you do this?
I ask this 'cause when I asked my girlfriend out, I had to ask her father's permission and I did it cause she's worth it, but I was wondering how everyone else would come at this 'problem'. And what do you think about this 'ritual' or thing that some girl's want you to do?

I wouldn't do it, if the girl or guy want me to prove my love or capability by some test she or him can piss right off.
I don't see any direct problem in asking about the fathers permission. But as you probably notice, I just don't like the idea to prove myself being "worthy" in some way, "take me as I am or piss off."

 

[Xcelsior]

You shouldn't have to ask the father if you want to be with the girl it should solely be up to her whether she wants to be with you or not. If a girl starts proposing ultimatums then I know it's time to get the fuck out of there.
What would happen if he says no? would she just leave you because of her father's disagreement with you dating/marrying her?

 

[MrAkuma201]

Fleeker has hit the nail on the head. well said dude

 

[Valdus]

Given that we don't live in medievil Europe...no.

My G/F didn't require my mum's approval (though she has it anyway), so why do I need her dad's?

 

[Pyroguekenesis]

I would understand if it was asking for her hand in marriage but...I guess it's understandable on this part, at least the father would know the face of the person who is going to love his daughter. It also closes the gap much quicker between you too since if you are serious with her than if you go off without telling or even the family not knowing.

 

[HellsingerAngel]

This thread is so absolutely rediculous. It really makes me worry about my generation and how stuck-up and self-absorbed they are.

Guys, she's just asking you to ask her father for permission. Believe it or not, she's lived, and more than likely trusts, him far longer than she's known and trusted you. Asking your potential suitor to meet the family, regardless of what formalities are taken to do so, is customary and should be expected. So she does it a little old fashioned, what's the huge deal? This speaks louder about the guy's attachement to the relationship than the girl's.

The piece that really grinds my gears is that most people are saying they'd tell the girl to sod off and merrily skip away back to their single lives. Really? Really!? You'd give up a relationship just because of one, simple request? Guess what guys. Girls test you. It's that simple. In any relationship, the one being sought after tests their suitor and that's just fact. Why? Well, it might have something to do with the fact that they might not have made up their mind about you. Believe it or not, humans are very complex beings and require in-depth analysis to get the full breadth of their character, which is what tests like these do. If you ask him, regardless of what answer he gives you, it proves you have the courage to stand up for her and do something that is widely regarded as feared by most guys. And no where does it say that she cares about what the answer her father gives, so even if he says no she would probably still date you for the fact that you stood up for your convictions.

The bottom line is, if you're not willing to go through with such a simple request, your relationship is doomed to fail because you probably don't care about the other person to begin with. It's child-like behaviour to expect that everything goes your way, and though it could be argued that the same logic could be used against this argument, the fact that it's a reasonable request makes the guy just look silly if he's against it. Relationships are about compromise and not being willing to take the first step as the seeker of the relationship just proves you're not willing to put any effort into it.

 

[HotFezz8]

i would, but it would be odd. i wouldn't expect to.

 

[Wutaiflea]

My husband asked my mum and brother's permission if he could marry me.

I found it an incredibly respectful and graceful gesture of asking to be accepted into our family, even though I didn't ask him to do it.

 

[Cheesus333]

I don't appreciate the gesture of forcing me, but probably. As long as he isn't the angry-farmer-with-a-big-ass-gun type.

I don't really get that, though. Asking before you propose to her, sure. But I think just going out with the girl is between you and her. I don't see why he's involved.

 

[Kathinka]

people still do that in the colonies? wow^^ someone should drag you into the 21st century, no matter how bad you kick and scream^^

 

[Plinglebob]

To date? No. Once we started going out I'd be more then happy to meet the parents to help get rid of any fears they may have about me. Also, if the father and daughter are close, I'd either ask for the Dad's permission to marry her or at least give him a little warning that I was going too.

 

[Hollock]

I don't want to be with a girl that wants me to "protect her" or "look after her".

 

[ChicagoTed]

I don't want to be with a girl that wants me to "protect her" or "look after her".

^This.

I'd rather be with a girl who has enough common sense to look after herself when i'm not around then being reliant on me constantly.

 

[Elamdri]

So, if you loved a girl and she loved you, but the one condition for you two to go out would be asking her father's permission, would you do it? The reason she wants you to do this is to show you have the courage to look after her, and she's looking for someone that can protect her and asking her father's permission proves this to her, would you do this?
I ask this 'cause when I asked my girlfriend out, I had to ask her father's permission and I did it cause she's worth it, but I was wondering how everyone else would come at this 'problem'. And what do you think about this 'ritual' or thing that some girl's want you to do?

"problem"? Please, guys just need to grow a collective pair.

I put 'problem' in quotations because that's not how I view it at all, not as a problem. As I stated above, I asked her dad's permission, I don't view it as a problem, I just think that some people might, so I don't want to appear biased towards one side of the argument.

and like I said, one side of the argument needs to man the hell up.

 

[JUMBO PALACE]

That's really old fashioned and kind of silly but yeah I'd do it. It's not even a big deal.

 

[Ace of Spades]

I would happily ask permission, but if he said no, I'd go out with her anyway. I'm happy to put on a show for the benefit of her father, but his authority does not supersede hers or mine.