nope, because its stupid yo ask the parents permission, far starters, parents dont get a say in who there children date. secondly already never get along with parents so it would end badly anyway, and lastly if i found my self in the reverse of this and some one came asking me for permission and make the lil bastard run thro hoops
Asking a girl's dad for permission to go out with his daughter
- Thread starter Everin
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Not sure I like the idea "having a guy to look after me" or you having to ask my dad...he doesnt own meEverin said:
I realise now thease days im beggining to feel like an angrey feminist
If I were a guy I supose I would be kinda scared...but then again I have every right to ask and if he says no.....could he really stop me from seeign her? (that said I would make myself worth saying yes too)
anyway
Just a thought - how would you know that you _loved_ someone if you hadn't gone out with them? I figured the whole dating process was to get to know someone, and _then_ falling in love, but maybe I'm just old-fashioned.
Anywho, to answer your question, I'd find it pretty ridiculous. Now I'm a girl, so this problem wouldn't typically apply to me, but the custom of asking a father's permission for, well, pretty much anything (dating, marriage, all that crap), is saying that this girl can't make decisions for herself, and that her father pretty much owns her. It's the same as the custom of the father 'giving away' the bride on her wedding day - passing a possession from one owner to another. The mere thought is insulting.
Anywho, to answer your question, I'd find it pretty ridiculous. Now I'm a girl, so this problem wouldn't typically apply to me, but the custom of asking a father's permission for, well, pretty much anything (dating, marriage, all that crap), is saying that this girl can't make decisions for herself, and that her father pretty much owns her. It's the same as the custom of the father 'giving away' the bride on her wedding day - passing a possession from one owner to another. The mere thought is insulting.
When my girlfriend and I started dating, the only person we actually asked (and more informed than asked really) was her ex-boyfriend. Reason why? He's an old friend of mine, and we wanted to avoid problems. So I sat down and had a chat with him to make sure he knew what the situation was and that he was cool with it.
No, I didnt steal her off him; and no, she didnt cheat on him with me - the two of them were already seperated before I made a move.
I think her Dad actually found out several weeks later and about the only thing he said was 'oh, okay.'
No, I didnt steal her off him; and no, she didnt cheat on him with me - the two of them were already seperated before I made a move.
I think her Dad actually found out several weeks later and about the only thing he said was 'oh, okay.'
if a girl considers herself to be her father's property, that's ten billion kinds of crazy that you don't want to mess with. the only person you have to ask for a date is the girl herself, so i would never want someone who gave me this kind of ultimatum.
You had to ask her father's permission to take her to a movie and maybe MacDonald's afterwards??
Are you a time traveller from 1911?? Good grief...
Lad, I've met my girlfriend's parents after the fact... The only person that can actually give you 'permission' is, after all, her.
EDIT:
Sounds like she's from a very old fashioned family... Tread carefully. Don't let them see a tv or they'll think it's a soul trapping box.
Leave the iPhone at home, goes without saying!
Are you a time traveller from 1911?? Good grief...
Lad, I've met my girlfriend's parents after the fact... The only person that can actually give you 'permission' is, after all, her.
EDIT:
Sounds like she's from a very old fashioned family... Tread carefully. Don't let them see a tv or they'll think it's a soul trapping box.
Leave the iPhone at home, goes without saying!
I do believe you just answered your own question in the first sentence of your post sir. If you truly loved someone, it wouldn't matter what they wanted you to do. You would do your best to accomplish it. If she was on a trip in another city, state, country and said she was scared and wanted you there. I bet there wouldn't be anything that could stand in your way to get to her. So if you love her something as simple as asking her father's permission doesn't seem so bad.Everin said:
What? What does that even mean? They cheated on your friend or something and we're like "nah brah, we were never, like, exclusive and shit, chyeah."Geekiest said:
I'd have done it in high school.
Not so much now, I've never dated a girl who cared what her dad thought enough for me to ask.
What? How does asking her dad to date her show you can look after her? Wouldn't, you know, looking after her show that?Everin said:
I'm not sure what other people seem to think but dad's don't really bust out shotguns when you date their daughters. Unless they're like a crime boss or some shit. In which case, don't date someone who's family is involved in organised crime.
No. It's too old timey and I shouldn't have to run some stupid errand to prove that I can take care of her. Asking her dad if can date her proves nothing other than that I can talk to her dad.
I've just woken up, but I would put money on this being the best post of the day.KapnKerfuffle said:
I've never liked this idea of the dad giving away his daughter. Woman are not objects which you can own or control, so yeah.
Look, I never asked my wife's father to marry her. Why? Because if I'm ready to make the commitment to stay with her for the lifetime we have, then that is good enough.
In your case, your asking this girls father if its OK to take his daughter out on a date. Now this isn't a bad thing, but its too traditional and times have changed and people need to also change. The father should say: you don't have to ask for my permission, she's not my property.
So yeah, when I have a daughter, she dates who she wants, what ever ethnic background she wants. I'll just treat all her boyfriends the same: You beat my daughter, I will hunt you down and break every bone in your body, but if you don't hit her, then welcome to our family.
I do agree that dads are too over protective. I really don't understand the reason for this. I personally think the dad wants to have special relations with their daughter some times. It kind of grosses me out.
Look, I never asked my wife's father to marry her. Why? Because if I'm ready to make the commitment to stay with her for the lifetime we have, then that is good enough.
In your case, your asking this girls father if its OK to take his daughter out on a date. Now this isn't a bad thing, but its too traditional and times have changed and people need to also change. The father should say: you don't have to ask for my permission, she's not my property.
So yeah, when I have a daughter, she dates who she wants, what ever ethnic background she wants. I'll just treat all her boyfriends the same: You beat my daughter, I will hunt you down and break every bone in your body, but if you don't hit her, then welcome to our family.
I do agree that dads are too over protective. I really don't understand the reason for this. I personally think the dad wants to have special relations with their daughter some times. It kind of grosses me out.
People do tend to over look the little things when it comes to relationships. When those small things are usually the most important. Anyone can be there for or do the major things that are needed in a relationship such as telling the person you love them or going out of your way to do something for them. But its those small things that not everyone is willing to do because they don't seem that important, such as a small request, that truly prove you love someone and that you'll be there for them.Everin said:gbemery said:This seems like the best post in the whole thread, to be honest. Literally, everyone else seems to be against doing anything little for your love, but this seems to sum up how I feel perfectly. Kudos to you, kind sir
People don't do this alot, some few women do.Lyri said:
Maybe a tiny amount of men, never heard about or seen that.
You see, most people don't like constantly being tested.
Here is a test I was exposed to;
"I don't have that much cash at the moment, could you put out for me?"
What do you think the correct answer to that is?
Its not what you might think.
Point being; if you did ask him she may just dump you for being too whipped/old fashioned/whatever.
But I would probably ask, after asking why it is important to her.
It is an outdated custom, and requiring permission from the father should not be necessary. On the other hand, talking matters over with either or preferably both parents is desirable. There is a great deal of concern on the parents part when dealing with a child's romantic relationships, this is especially true for a daughter. Talking to her parents, whether or not you actually seek permission, is almost always a good thing.
