Awesome one liners

[Ventuquies]

"How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do?"
I laughted so hard over this one

The first one who knows where I heard it gets a virtual cookie.
Hint: MS

 

[Jade Rotaski]

Tean Fortress two hads some of the best taunts! Scout, Demoman and soilders are probably my fave

"Oh theyre going to have to put you back together...in HELL!" -Demoman
"Don't fret Boyo. I'll be gentle! -Demoman
"YOUR ALL BLOODY DEAD! -Demoman
"You ladies outgha brought some menfolk with ya" - Engineer
"Come'ere sissy! -Engineer
"Son Im gonna blow that dumb look right fof your stupid face"- Engineer
"You are so small, its funny to me!- Heavy
"WHO TOUCHED MY GUN!"- Heavy
"I was told we would be fighting MEN!"- Heavy
"I hear somone building diaper changing station!- Heavy
"I spy...uh I do not think we brought enough body bags"-Medic
"I healed ze man who will KILL you" -Medic
"Perpare for your...examination *Evil laughter" -Medic
"Yeah why dont you come over here and say that to my face tough guy?"- Scout
"Say goodby to your kneecaps chucklehead" -Scout
"Oh hey! YOU SUCK!" -Scout
"Im gonna plant one right between yer eyes you punter" -Sniper
Thanks for standing still...wanker" -Sniper
Im gonna blow the insides of your head all over four counties" -Sniper
"Time to inform your next of Kin! -Soilder
"I am going to enjoy killing each and every one oif you sorry sacks of scum!" -Soilder
"If god had wanted you to live he would not have created ME"- Soilder
"I'm going to strangle you with your own frilly training bra!- soilder
"Promise not to get blood on mky suit and I'll kill you quickly" -Spy
"May i make a suggestion? RUN"- Spy
"This WILL be the last time you see me"- Spy.

 

[messy]

This shit just got real - Hot fuzz (yes i know it's bad boys but Pegg does it so much better)

 

[Lyri]

"it's 1973 about Dinner time, I'm having Hoops!" - Gene Hunt, Life on Mars.

 

[Hitman 43]

Unfortunately only thought of about 20 seconds after I passed them, but I'll have it for the future:

(To a group of smokers): Is this like a mass suicide or something?

Nice.

 

[KSarty]

"That's right, cower! Be Afraid! Die knowing you lost to someone who really knows how to handle a Mobile Suit." - Norris Packard in his badass Gouf Custom.

 

[Rajin Cajun]

"Blow it out your ass."

Duke Nukem

 

[MBFCPresident]

Chuck Norris. 'Nuff said. Also, "This shit just got real." from Bad Boys 2. Greatest action movie evar!

 

[stefanbertramlee]

"How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do?"
I laughted so hard over this one

The first one who knows where I heard it gets a virtual cookie.
Hint: MS

cookie for me, project natal

 

[Raregolddragon]

You can all go to hell I'm going to Texas.

Davey

 

[General Ken8]

"The Cake Is A Lie"

 

[Wilfy]

If the next two words out of your mouth aren't "see ya", the next words will be "My crotch, you punched me in the crotch." - Cookie for anyone who knows where that's from.

 

[shwnbob]

"Speak softly and carry a big gun"

 

[CrafterMan]

Oh god bring on the Mr T quotes!

"This is ten on B.A scale, ten stands for TOTAL PAIN"

"All I know is someone ordered this pizza, and someones gonna PAY"

"If you wanna stay alive, keep your mouth shut *pause*, or I'll nail it shut"

 

[wordsmith]

Not really one liners but hey...

"Seriously though, he's just like clockwork"
'What, he's reliable?'
"No, I can't resist the urge to wind him up whenever I see him!"

"Hey, why are the girls round here like buses?"
'I don't know, why are they like buses?"
"No, I'm asking a serious question. The girls round here are like buses! *stretches arms wide*"

 

[Ventuquies]

"How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do?"
I laughted so hard over this one

The first one who knows where I heard it gets a virtual cookie.
Hint: MS

cookie for me, project natal

Sorry for late cookie delivery! [..and the small advert for Natal, but the line was really so hilarious to hear in an official commercial!!]

 

[AlphaOmega]

"You exist because we allow it, and you will end, because we demand it"

"Your words are as empty as your future, I am the vanguard of your destruction"

I allways liked these 2 lines from mass effect, not really oneliners thought.

and offcourse, "I have balls of Steel"