Awkward and Useless Superpowers

[JEBWrench]

Or:
You become immune to slashing, piercing and blunt force whenever there is a star within 100 metres of you.

Lawyer man could improve that for you with his incredible loophole finding power.

Your power doesn't specify star as "celestial body".

 

[Airsoftslayer93]

you can teleport, to a maximum distance of 3 feet.

Could be a very interesting combat style.

 

[SuperSuperSuperGuy]

Or:
You become immune to slashing, piercing and blunt force whenever there is a star within 100 metres of you.

Lawyer man could improve that for you with his incredible loophole finding power.

Your power doesn't specify star as "celestial body".

How about I specify right now, then? Yes, I DID mean celestial bodies. Thank you.

If I meant stars as in celebrities, it'd be awkward, but not really useless. And stars as in the shape? Man, that'd actually be pretty good.

 

[CrimsonBlaze]

My friends, there is no super hero with a more useless ability than that of 20/20 hindsight (basically, pointing out things in a given situation that COULD have been done differently in that situation.)

I give you, Captain Hindsight.

 

[Easton Dark]

You can tear toilet paper into perfect squares every time.

 

[0BRiEX]

Invisibility when you click your fingers, but it makes everyone else invisible, not you.

 

[GistoftheFist]

Invisibility itself is useless, if your eyes were invisible you'd be blind.

Here's one for you: the ability to know exactly how many jellybeans/jolly ranchers are in the jar, thus winning you the jar of candy. :I

 

[JEBWrench]

Here's one for you: the ability to know exactly how many jellybeans/jolly ranchers are in the jar, thus winning you the jar of candy. :I

Wait, what about the ones that offer a cash prize for the counting?

 

[Anarchemitis]

I already have the superpower of being able to be content in any circumstance.

 

[renegade7]

You have the ability to memorize vast amounts of information, but you forget it on exam day.

That being said, FUCK YOU ADVANCED PLACEMENT US GOVERNMENT EXAM!!!

 

[Smithburg]

You have the ability to memorize vast amounts of information, but you forget it on exam day.

That being said, FUCK YOU ADVANCED PLACEMENT US GOVERNMENT EXAM!!!

I HAVE THAT POWER

 

[The Thinker]

turning into a bear.And not the animal kind either.

Looking at dictionary.com, I find these other definitions:

A gruff, burly, clumsy, bad-mannered, or rude person.

A person who believes that market prices, especially of stocks, will decline (opposed to bull).

(Informal) A person who shows great ability, enthusiasm, stamina, etc.: a bear for physics.

Three seems cool. Two seems okay. I assume you mean number one?

 

[SD-Fiend]

turning into a bear.And not the animal kind either.

Looking at dictionary.com, I find these other definitions:

A gruff, burly, clumsy, bad-mannered, or rude person.

A person who believes that market prices, especially of stocks, will decline (opposed to bull).

(Informal) A person who shows great ability, enthusiasm, stamina, etc.: a bear for physics.

Three seems cool. Two seems okay. I assume you mean number one?

The kind of bear I was was talking about is of the *ahem* homosexual kind. but know that I think of it it's both that and the first one combined

 

[Vegosiux]

Any superpower if you don't have the secondary abilities required for them.

So you can lift a building? You'll still end up buried underground because unless you can somehow give the super pressure resistance superpower to the ground under your feet, it's still going to give way.

You can run at the speed of sound? Uh; good luck breathing, not catching on fire, or keeping any clothes on.

And so on.

 

[The Thinker]

The kind of bear I was was talking about is of the *ahem* homosexual kind. but know that I think of it it's both that and the first one combined

(One wikipedia later)

Oh.

Still, that wouldn't necessarily be bad/useless... unless you combined it with one, yeah.

 

[mooncalf]

The Ability to predict the past! now thats pointless

...Think that through, dude.
In fact that would be in my top 5 BEST superpowers...

Awkward and useless would be the power to straighten bent spoons, but not bend them in the first place.

 

[TheVioletBandit]

and more

Dogwelder

Arm Fall Off Boy

Arm Fall Off Boy has the ability to detach his own limbs, which he can then use as blunt weapons.

you think aquaman is useless, meet Aqualad!

he is worse

Bouncing Boy

crush your enemies.... fuck! they have got a needle!

The comic book geek in me has to say this: Aquaman is not useless. He has tons of kick-ass powers, so I don't know how the "lame Aquaman jokes" got started. Nevertheless, here is a list of some of his powers.

1. He has the telepathic ability to communicate with marine life, which he can summon from great distances and then control

2. He has the ability to breathe underwater

3. He possesses superhuman durability high enough to remain unaffected by the immense pressure and the cold temperature
of the ocean depths, this also makes him tough enough to be invulnerable to machine gun fire.

4. He possesses superhuman strength.

5. He can swim at very high speeds, capable of reaching speeds of 10,000 feet per second, he can even swim up Niagara Falls.

6. He can see in near total darkness and has enhanced hearing granting limited sonar.

The best powers are here in number 7.

7. a magical hand made out of water given to him by the Lady of the Lake, which grants Aquaman numerous abilities, including
but not limited to: the ability to dehydrate anyone he touches with it, killing them instantly; the ability to change the shape
and density of the hand; the ability to shoot jets of scalding water; healing abilities;
the ability to create portals into mystical dimensions; the ability to communicate with the Lady of the Lake through the
waterbearer hand; and the ability to nullify magic. Aquaman also has the ability to control water
and make it any shape with his own will.

 

[TheVioletBandit]

The ability to shit huge chunks of gold....fools gold.

 

[TheVioletBandit]

The power of flight coupled with an extreme fear of heights.

Super speed, but slow reflexes and incredibly clumsy/trip-prone.

Super strength, but paralyzed from the neck down.

Mental control over insects, but only up to five at a time.

Shrinking power, not reversible.

Thought projection, one way reverse telepathy. Cannot turn off.

The ability to emit a high pitched sonic screech, cannot damage ear human ear drums nor shatter glass, no capability beyond mild annoyance.

I could do this all day.

I would take the power of flight coupled with an extreme fear of heights, and just fly low to the ground until I had gone to enough therapy to cure my phobia.

I would also take the mental control over insects and the shrinking power. Having five killer bees as body guards sounds pretty good to me, and I have always wanted to be a little shorter.

 

[SilverBullets000]

Super regeneration abilities...that only work after your heart has stopped beating.

The power to read minds...but instantly forgetting what the person's thoughts were after doing so.

Super strength...but only during sex.

Knowing everything...but not having the cranial capacity to contain your gigantic brain.

Heat ray eyes...that burn your eyelids off.

X-Ray vision...that only works when you're taking a dump.

The ability to defecate jelly beans...just defecating jelly beans.

The ability to shapeshift...but only into a turkey...and only on thanksgiving...

Acidic blood...that your veins can't handle.

The ability to stretch your body...but the blood being unable to pump through the stretched parts of the body.

Ivisibility...but only if you're in a bright yellow suit. No, the suit stays visible.

So on and so on.