Awkward Male/Female Questions

[SonicWaffle]

I thought this thread was going to be about awkward questions to ask to members of the opposite sex, not "women/men, crazy buggers aye".

Ha, really?

So naive ;-)

You'd think in my 8 years of being a forum addict I'd have realised these things by now, but alas I evidently have not...

Hey, maybe you could head to R&P, post a topic asking whether Christianity is real.

I can't see any way for that to go badly!

 

[Zack Alklazaris]

Nope. One of the crappy parts of being gay is that when your partner does something you can't explain, you can't just chalk it up to some generalization of how their entire gender thinks or acts. You just have to...deal with it.

Couldn't you blame it on the subsection of gays your partner belonged too? Twinks, Bears, Cubs, Otters....

\\

WHAT THE FUCK IS A TWINK ? and I never get into awkard stuff I am akward stuff

A twink is a very boyish looking guy. For example (they are clean)

Spoiler

I imagine that if you're a naturally awkward person, swinging would be difficult. Too many new people.

I sometimes wonder what it would be like. The mystery, risk, danger would be exciting but at the same time I can't picture ever having sex with anyone who I don't love.

Is there like a cuddle/make out version of swingers? lol

 

[lizabeth19]

This is an inappropriate question but seeing as its a thread for awkward male/female questions I'm going to put it out there:

Guys, what does it feel like to get an erection?

 

[Daveman]

Well I thought this thread was going to be different.

But yeah, I got asked if I was circumcised yesterday. That was an awkward question. In the process I found out women know fuck all about cocks.

 

[Smeatza]

This is an inappropriate question but seeing as its a thread for awkward male/female questions I'm going to put it out there:

Guys, what does it feel like to get an erection?

Like a sexually pleasureable itch.

Girls, do you really believe crappy those "50 ways to please your man" articles you find in women's magazines?

 

[RhombusHatesYou]

To be fair, I think that to the people who presume that everyone is part of an inscrutable hive-mind that they don't understand.

What do you mean "presume"? *peers at* I'm on to you, Waffle, oh yes I am! I'm on to all of you non-Vegosiuxians!

I'm actually part of the easily-understood hive mind. We mostly like to go down the pub and drink until we A) fall over B) puke or C) fall over and puke.

We're not the most sophisticated people.

Could be worse, you could puke then fall over.

I think I'd prefer that. Less chance of going out like Hendrix.

Yeah but then you're left half-swimming, half flailing in a puddle of your own spew.

...swimming? I don't know about you, but I don't think my stomach holds that much vomit!

Stomach? When I have a good chunder, a portal to the vomit dimension opens in my duodenum.

 

[DevilWithaHalo]

Give and take is very important in a relationship. The happier you make your significant other the happier they should be about doing things for you regardless of how unattractive they feel about it. Though it they are dry heaving the whole time it probably wouldn't be a very good turn on.

I think some people were taking my response a little too seriously. But of course; why would I remain in a relationship with a female that has no intention of fulfilling my desires? It's like I tell women who complain about relationships being centered around sex. I tell them I have plenty of relationships with women that don't involve sex; I call them friendships.

My Wife and I agreed very early on that all questions are open. And when I say all I mean all. My wife knows all about splash back and I know all about... well lets say certain things that women one have to deal with. With a bunch of other secrets so I'll see if I can answer some questions on here.

I do have a generic question though. When I was single I would get average sexualized attention from people of the opposite sex (and a surprising high amount of same sex). But now I am married... women (opposite sex) attention has risen up, but attention from the same sex has dropped significantly.

What the hells going on? Are women playing a game with me... trying to get me to leave my wife or do they feel more comfortable opening up around now that they know I don't "think with my penis". And what about the same sex? Wtf happened... I sort of like the attention.

A little of column A and a little of column B to be honest. Some women will flirt with you more for the reason you feel "safer", insomuch they don't expect you to do anything about it. You're essentially a dog that's been debarked as it were. On the flip side, other women will flirt with you more because another woman has already given you the 'seal of approval' so to speak, so you're immediately placed on a higher status than any single man (all the good men are taken right?). There's quite a bit of psychology to it, and like any psychology, people will vigorously denounce it if it places their actions in a negative light (amusingly, psychology 101).

As for men, considering you're in a relationship, you live a different lifestyle, sometimes determined by the whims of another person. We don't like thinking you have to ask permission from someone else to go grab a beer with us or attend a sporting event. We also don't like the idea that when we do invite *you*, you might turn into a we. And we might not care so much for your ball and chain.

I suggest running an experiment to test my ideas; hit a bar, club, or whatever you crazy people do these days for a few consecutive sessions. Wear your ring for half of them, and take it off for the other half. Note the differences. Walla!

 

[The White Hunter]

Especially not this site, especially not about women.

There are women here. But iirc the vast majority on here are male, and either dysfunctional or virgins or have never even looked a woman in the eye, judging on poll-results and threads I'vea read recently.

OT: Um, ask. Seriously. Fucking ask. That's what I do, I ask my girlfriend why she did X or Y. If I want Z I ask for it. If the answer is "No" then discuss the idea and try to find a compromise of some kind.

Be a reasonable and rational thing and use that brain of yours. It's not difficult and life is a lot easier that way.

Edit: Sorry, this sounds harsh, isn't inteded as such, just being a bit blunt.

 

[Hagi]

Nope. One of the crappy parts of being gay is that when your partner does something you can't explain, you can't just chalk it up to some generalization of how their entire gender thinks or acts. You just have to...deal with it.

Couldn't you blame it on the subsection of gays your partner belonged too? Twinks, Bears, Cubs, Otters....

\\

WHAT THE FUCK IS A TWINK ? and I never get into awkard stuff I am akward stuff

You'll just have to find someone else who's also awkward stuff. Then, if you play your cards right, you'll eventually get into awkward stuff. Or awkward stuff gets into you, depending on which way you swing.

I imagine that if you're a naturally awkward person, swinging would be difficult. Too many new people.

Depends on quite how awkward you are, you've always got those people that accidentally slip out of their clothes and into another's bed, usually right before their wife/husband walks in.

 

[maxben]

Nope. One of the crappy parts of being gay is that when your partner does something you can't explain, you can't just chalk it up to some generalization of how their entire gender thinks or acts. You just have to...deal with it.

But that's not really fair now is it? The scientifically recorded differences between men and women are based on an average; an average that is also culturally limited at times but that's irrelevant. No one is saying its necessarily biological, though it is definitely associated with biology. Social constructs of gender are also very important and very very real. You have an internal understanding of your masculinity/femininity because you grew up in a society that emphasized those concepts. I noticed this when I began my first really long term relationship. It seemed that at a point our relationship hit a point where we were almost automatically conforming to gender stereotypes. Before that, she was a "tomboy" and I was a "sensitive boy". These were the examples of relationship we had growing up so that's what we tried to emulate.
This is also true in the gay community, and also does not require these kinds of extremes. It could refer to more "harmless" activities such as who pays for the bill.
So in a way I certainly agree with you. These generalizations are harmful, but we can't be flippant about their source and the reason for their power.

 

[burningdragoon]

Boy it kinda seems like that second question is actually answering the first question. To rephrase the questions to make that more obvious: Gals, ever wonder why your boyfriend left you for a slut? Guys, every wonder why your girlfriend won't be a slut for you? Seems like a pretty loaded conversation you're trying to have here.

But what do I know, most of my lady problems have come more from me not being as awesome as I'd like to be than any sort of stereotypical/generalized sex/gender issues.

 

[Lt._nefarious]

Because blue body paint is expensive and she won't find it very fun removing it from her lady parts and having a stranger paint her breasts various shade of blue is a bit awkward, boring and intrusive just because I want to fuck Cortana?

Or maybe it hurts and how would you like it if she rammed shit up your rear for 15 minutes?

Or maybe it's just because they have preferences that you should respect because when it comes to what your talking about it's generally a team effort? And she'd rather 3 bimbos don't join the team and bury your GF's face in their crotches whil burying their faces in yours?

 

[Dags90]

But that's not really fair now is it? The scientifically recorded differences between men and women are based on an average; an average that is also culturally limited at times but that's irrelevant. No one is saying its necessarily biological, though it is definitely associated with biology. Social constructs of gender are also very important and very very real. You have an internal understanding of your masculinity/femininity because you grew up in a society that emphasized those concepts. I noticed this when I began my first really long term relationship. It seemed that at a point our relationship hit a point where we were almost automatically conforming to gender stereotypes. Before that, she was a "tomboy" and I was a "sensitive boy". These were the examples of relationship we had growing up so that's what we tried to emulate.
This is also true in the gay community, and also does not require these kinds of extremes. It could refer to more "harmless" activities such as who pays for the bill.
So in a way I certainly agree with you. These generalizations are harmful, but we can't be flippant about their source and the reason for their power.

While some LGBT people do emulate heterosexual norms in their relationships, I'd say that's probably a minority. Or rather, that a minority of heterosexual norms are emulated in any given LGBT relationship. Even heterosexual relationships are becoming less heteronormative in several respects.

I try to avoid guys who try to have heteronormative gay relationships. It feels very scripted to me.

Or maybe it hurts and how would you like it if she rammed shit up your rear for 15 minutes?

I'm guessing you've never heard of pegging. I recommend a Google image search. Honestly, if anal sex hurts badly, you're doing it wrong.[footnote]Or you're new to it and your partner is hung like an ox.[/footnote]

 

[Something Amyss]

There are women here. But iirc the vast majority on here are male, and either dysfunctional or virgins or have never even looked a woman in the eye, judging on poll-results and threads I'vea read recently.

I know there are women on here.

I also know that the Escapist is overall about as friendly to women and considerate of women's issues as Marion is to the sanctity of Koopa Life.

That was more or less the point. Between friend zones and beta males and rape jokes and not understanding why groping women might be taken poorly, the Escapist has demonstrated time and again that it should not be used as any sort of source for information on women.

I mean, beyond the simple fact that women aren't some hive mind, there's the issue of horrendous stereotyping and inability to empathise.

 

[Lt._nefarious]

Or maybe it hurts and how would you like it if she rammed shit up your rear for 15 minutes?

I'm guessing you've never heard of pegging. I recommend a Google image search. Honestly, if anal sex hurts badly, you're doing it wrong.

Firstly: I won't fall for your trickery. I have been in a solid relationship with pornography for a solid few years and I have totally avoided pegging and the even more dreaded ureathral (spelling?) insertion!

Secondly: I'm not saying it hurts badly I'm just saying that I wouldn't expect my lady friend to do something (even if I asked nicely) I am about as fine with receiving myself as I am covering my face in gold fish guts and submerging my head in a tank of piranhas. Have you seen what piranhas do to gold fish? I have... It ain't pretty.

So basically what I'm saying is anal sex is like being torn apart...

Although I appreciate your zen advise on anal sex... I'd say it's opened my eyes but... I don't want to.

 

[Snownine]

Couldn't you blame it on the subsection of gays your partner belonged too? Twinks, Bears, Cubs, Otters....

Most of the guys I've gone out with generally don't fall into any of those neat categories. Probably because I don't date many porn stars.

You don't date porn stars!? What are you doing with your life?

 

[Vault101]

I think some people were taking my response a little too seriously. But of course; why would I remain in a relationship with a female that has no intention of fulfilling my desires? It's like I tell women who complain about relationships being centered around sex. I tell them I have plenty of relationships with women that don't involve sex; I call them friendships.

but my point was...what does "fulfill your desires" mean?

 

[Yopaz]

umm, wouldn't be better to ask them? Rather than an internet forum...

So young, so naive. You never ask what's wrong and you should never actively try to fix a relationship. If you want advice on your situation you should always ask people who don't know your situation or you. It's foolproof.

Sarcasm aside, communication should be the first step here.

 

[Strazdas]

wow, escapist, you still manage to surprise me. and im still amazed by how bright the audience is, makes me feel so inferior. people here seems to ahve the logical answer for anything. i love you all.

There are women here. But iirc the vast majority on here are male, and either dysfunctional or virgins or have never even looked a woman in the eye, judging on poll-results and threads I'vea read recently.

just because people prefer games to sex does not mean they never had any.