Being a gentleman/ How to Treat a Lady

[GamerKT]

If you treat ladies better because they're ladies, that's sexist. Be a gentleman TO ALL. Unless they suck.

 

[Rule Britannia]

I'm british this comes naturally to me

 

[alandavidson]

Generally I see it as this: be polite and kind to all. If you do that you will generally not have trouble getting into fights with the menfolk and dates from the womenfolk.

 

[ruben6f]

Well most girls where I live think they support the idea of feminism so I don't do anything polite to other girls unless they do the same thing to me.

 

[TheLoneBeet]

Treat her how she treats you.

If she's a ***** to you, be a dick to her.

This.

I always start off polite and generous. If a girl starts treating me like shit, I'll respond in kind. Doesn't only apply to girls though. I just treat everybody like this.

 

[Trivea]

Speaking as a female, I would like to find a healthy balance between the "girls can't do anything for themselves" of the past and the "women can fend for themselves so we don't need to do anything for them", but really... chivalry is best used on a romantic occasion, because if you're in love with a woman (or out on a date with her or whatever) there's nothing wrong with showing her that you care in little ways like opening the door for her or something.

Treat her how she treats you.

If she's a ***** to you, be a dick to her.

I've been called a ***** for refusing to sleep with a guy I had just met, so that's a really broad (lol) definition. A lot of guys (and no, before you fly off the handle, I am NOT saying you do this) seem to think that being a gentleman for three hours earns them a place to stay for the night, and that if the woman doesn't put out then she's clearly not worth being nice to anymore.

Overall, I don't see anything wrong or sexist at all with a man being a gentleman to a lady... as long as she's behaving like a lady, because it works both ways.

 

[BlumiereBleck]

I'm American and I've always had a Clark Gable kind of Gentlemen Style.

 

[Boba Frag]

Encountering entitled bitches on a regular basis has made me stop bothering to be a gentleman in public, unless it's an elderly or pregnant woman.

Irish men (I'm actually from Ireland, not Boston) are generally shit at this anyway, so I've learned half the time women view any courtesies with suspicion, but that's because they're nutters.

That said, to my female friends, family members and to any other ladies whose company I enjoy, I find flinging a bottle of Jameson at their head while screaming for a ham sandwich is generally a good tactic to get shit done.

*re-reads OP*

Ermm... I mean... Ah...

Ok, joking aside, there's no call to disrespect people, and less so women. I think that this kind of chivalrous behaviour is taken advantage of quite often, so I'm somewhat reluctant to just do this gentleman shit for just anyone.
If I like and respect someone, I'll treat them warmly and respectfully.

That said, it actually gets my blood up to encounter a girl being spoken to rudely or crassly.

 

[Boba Frag]

Speaking as a female, I would like to find a healthy balance between the "girls can't do anything for themselves" of the past and the "women can fend for themselves so we don't need to do anything for them", but really... chivalry is best used on a romantic occasion, because if you're in love with a woman (or out on a date with her or whatever) there's nothing wrong with showing her that you care in little ways like opening the door for her or something.

Treat her how she treats you.

If she's a ***** to you, be a dick to her.

I've been called a ***** for refusing to sleep with a guy I had just met, so that's a really broad (lol) definition. A lot of guys (and no, before you fly off the handle, I am NOT saying you do this) seem to think that being a gentleman for three hours earns them a place to stay for the night, and that if the woman doesn't put out then she's clearly not worth being nice to anymore.

Overall, I don't see anything wrong or sexist at all with a man being a gentleman to a lady... as long as she's behaving like a lady, because it works both ways.

Ok, that's fucking horrendous... See, that's what I hate about 'manners' - it can be used as a horrible cloak to get into someone's pants.
I'm glad you told that fellow where he could stick his cane stick.

Jesus, I think it's horrible you've encountered slimey wankbags like that.

I'm over the fucking moon if I get a phone number or a coffee out of just meeting someone that strikes my fancy.
Hell, I'd certainly buy a girl dinner first

See, guys like that are why guys like me can't have nice things!! Or nice girls! lol

 

[Cap'n Ninja]

Treat her how she treats you.

If she's a ***** to you, be a dick to her.

Or y'know, be the bigger man and don't be petty and instead continue to be a decent human being to her.
There's no better way to disarm someone being unpleasant than to be unexpectedly pleasant with no ulterior motive.

OT: I was born with a "Kill them before they kill you" attitude, but I'm pretty sure all girls are.
As to my expectations as a lady to provide a point of reference of sorts, I expect people to be kind and polite, much as I would with anyone, and anything further is an appreciated gesture, so long as it doesn't come across as condescending.

not saying this isn't true, but after working in customer service/fraud, it was the most sweetest of justice when my boss (which he was allowed to) would knock down fuckers a peg or two when they were out right dickheads just to be a douche. the look on their face was usually priceless and doing the "nice the living shit out of them" didn't quite work...unfortunately.

There are times when it doesn't work, yes, and I'm not saying it's a catch-all attitude. Some people who are consistently mean spirited and unpleasant deserve to have justice exacted upon them, but for the most part, if someone's unpleasant to you, if you smile, nod and tell them their hair looks nice today, they shut down.

 

[feeback06]

I never understood the whole "pulling the seat out" or "opening the door" thing. The only time I open the door for people is if I see that their hands are full, and I do that for anyone regardless of gender.

 

[Astoria]

A different thread about this sorta topic would be how should ladies treat gentlemen. I think we all know what guys do for girls but I can't think of anything that girls do for guys (wonder if anyone will quote this and say sex). People might be less against it and won't think it's sexists if girls have similar etiquette guidelines. Anyway I say don't treat a girl like a 'lady' if they don't act like one and appreciate it.

 

[presidentjlh]

Here's what you need to know if you want to be the nice guy: Don't expect romance to blossom from it. That's not how it works. I came to accept that a long time ago when I started growing out of my youth, but the nice guy is who I am, I don't particularly care that people see it as a lack of confidence (I personally think I'm a catch to some degree), it's just who I am.

 

[Torrasque]

I never understood or liked those "act like this" things.
I act polite to people who are polite to me, I act impolite to people who are rude to me, and I act like myself around my friends. Thats it.
If I open a door for someone, its because I'm being polite, not because I am wearing a top hat and a cane, and certainly not because of their sexual parts.

Chivalry died when women wanted equality.
Being MORE nice and MORE polite to women, died when they wanted equality.
I don't demand a female act a certain way to me just cuz I am a man, why should they?

 

[yellingatpixels]

a thought: a pedestal is nothing but a tall, round prison.

Treat people like people. Someone mentioned it: if you want to hold doors etc, that is great. Do so, but do it because it makes you feel good about you.

I hold open doors etc for the person behind me. Whoever they are. Kindness to strangers, regardless of sex is a fabulous thing.

Example: I really appreciate it when I am struggling with a stroller and someoen hold the door: because I need the help at that time, not because I am a woman.

Make sense? No? (must be the up since 6AM thing...)

 

[Blow_Pop]

So most guys here have probably been taught on some level how to be a gentleman in their respective culture. As an American, I was raised to open a door for a lady, to pull out her seat, and a few other rules of etiquette. But I feel at the same time that a large number of woman often don't recognize some of these things as gentlemanly, or simply don't expect them at all. So I thought on this thread we guys would throw out some of the rules we were raised with, and see if these are things that a lady would appreciate or even recognize as gentlemanly behavior. Example, one of the more recent rules I learned was that if I'm walking along with a lady I should be on the side of her closest to the street. The thinking there I would assume is that I could protect her from a splash or I could push her out of the way if a car lost control.

Actually that dates back to before indoor plumbing when people still used chamber pots and emptied them out their windows. The lady was put closer to the buildings so that if someone happened to be emptying out their chamber pot the mess would wind up on the male rather than the female. But that is neither here nor there, your reasoning works fine as well.

Treat her how she treats you.

If she's a ***** to you, be a dick to her.

Well you've fucked up royally with me then haven't you kitty? ;P

OT: I recognize when a guy is being a gentleman and honestly I was raised to be a lady. Let a guy open a door for me(though I do believe waiting in the car for him to open my door is a bit excessive and unnecessary. I can open my own door and wait for him there to escort me into wherever we are going), pull out my chair, etc.... And I would love it if more guys did that. I may be a tomboy but I still enjoy being treated like a lady(at least in public). In fact it is on my list of standards for any guy I even think about dating. The problem is, people aren't being taught it anymore. And the only people I witness doing stuff like that are men in their 60s or older(sometimes you can knock that number down to their 40s but still too old for me to date cause damn it I'm not dating someone as old as my father or older ). Hell common courtesy on public transportation of letting a lady sit down if there is no more seats barely exists(well where I live at least). I got pissy with a guy on a bus because I got up for an older lady to sit down and he sat down before her. I made him get up so she could sit down(old lady + walker vs. young male yeah he can stand....)and he got mad at me but she thanked me which made it worth it. Anyways enough of my 2 am rants.