Being Asexual In A Sexual Society
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I'd say sexuality is driven by certain hormones which you may be in lack of.
'Cause I feel kind of asexual when I release myself, A.E, loss of hormones temporarily.
Also, it doesn't count if you diagnose yourself. Please get a doctor to give you a visit.
'Cause I feel kind of asexual when I release myself, A.E, loss of hormones temporarily.
Also, it doesn't count if you diagnose yourself. Please get a doctor to give you a visit.
I don't know any asexual people(None that really are, at least), and I can't relate to the idea whatsoever. I have no problem with it, I just can't, in a million years, ever see myself being one. To me, it'd be like going through life without talking. Sure, I could do it, but why would I want to. Sure, I might say something I regret every now and then, but never looking like an idiot seems an unworthy prize for ignoring what is wired into the human brain on it's most basic level.
There is one thing I can comment on though. You said you don't see married couples as having lasting happiness, I'd call "Constant Happiness" a contradiction of terms. Joy is recognizable only through pain, you need the comparison or else you loose appreciation for the joy in your life, as joy is recognized as being above the norm. Trying to escape sadness is like trying to escape dying against your will, the only sure way to do so is to kill yourself. Nothing is permanent, the human race itself is finite, and reaching for infinity is the best way to make sure you never even get close. Love itself doesn't last forever, but the the mark it makes on your life, the person that it helped to grow, how it defined you, those things will stay with you till the end of your days, and even if it hurt, they may still make you a better person. Who you are, is something that can't be taken from you
This is really just a series of thoughts that occurred to me, and I don't wish it to insult anyone, or imply that they don't understand these things. If sex doesn't bring joy to someone then they should do as they wish, simple as that. I've just met a lot of people who try to escape pain by becoming numb, and to me, that sounds like a different kind of pain. You have to take the bad with the good. All I hope is that it sparked some interesting thoughts in you as well
There is one thing I can comment on though. You said you don't see married couples as having lasting happiness, I'd call "Constant Happiness" a contradiction of terms. Joy is recognizable only through pain, you need the comparison or else you loose appreciation for the joy in your life, as joy is recognized as being above the norm. Trying to escape sadness is like trying to escape dying against your will, the only sure way to do so is to kill yourself. Nothing is permanent, the human race itself is finite, and reaching for infinity is the best way to make sure you never even get close. Love itself doesn't last forever, but the the mark it makes on your life, the person that it helped to grow, how it defined you, those things will stay with you till the end of your days, and even if it hurt, they may still make you a better person. Who you are, is something that can't be taken from you
This is really just a series of thoughts that occurred to me, and I don't wish it to insult anyone, or imply that they don't understand these things. If sex doesn't bring joy to someone then they should do as they wish, simple as that. I've just met a lot of people who try to escape pain by becoming numb, and to me, that sounds like a different kind of pain. You have to take the bad with the good. All I hope is that it sparked some interesting thoughts in you as well
I'm probably not legitimately asexual, but my feelings towards sex are largely 'meh' and I can totally see where you're coming from. I've actually mentally explored the possibility that I may be asexual before, but like you I still always can at least conclude that I'm heterosexual. While I do have a physical attraction to girls when interacting with them, I do not actually pursue sex. I think it has a lot to do with my code of 'ethics' on the subject. I will probably not be seriously interested in sex until I find a girl I'm actually THAT close to emotionally first. I just don't believe in getting into a sexual relationship until you've achieve that first, and this is not a religiously-influenced view. And that's not to say I frown on those who do get physically involved. I believe most people do what feels natural to them, and I'm just not a person who wants sex before a certain milestone.
Well I'll give trying to make a reply that makes sense a shot.
To most people I dumb down my answer and say I'm bi. However, for lack of a better term, I use the word pansexual to label myself. No, not those idiots crying something about not caring about who they love but in a nonsexual way, or something like that. I don't know, I never understood those people.
I mean it in a way in that I'm open to new experiences and I'm not very picky about specific fetishes and whatnot. As long as I find it pleasurable I'm fine with it.
That being said, I don't think sex is... I can't seem to find the right word, but something along the lines of 'important.' I admit I am a virgin, but sex isn't something I really go out of my way to get. True, I'm sure it'll feel better than masturbation, but I think the lack of sex has inspired me to be more creative when it comes to sexual acts.
So while sex feels good, you can still do other things that feel just as good if not better, just gotta be imaginative
So I hope I gave you all a little insight of a rather different view (I haven't met very many like myself.)
To most people I dumb down my answer and say I'm bi. However, for lack of a better term, I use the word pansexual to label myself. No, not those idiots crying something about not caring about who they love but in a nonsexual way, or something like that. I don't know, I never understood those people.
I mean it in a way in that I'm open to new experiences and I'm not very picky about specific fetishes and whatnot. As long as I find it pleasurable I'm fine with it.
That being said, I don't think sex is... I can't seem to find the right word, but something along the lines of 'important.' I admit I am a virgin, but sex isn't something I really go out of my way to get. True, I'm sure it'll feel better than masturbation, but I think the lack of sex has inspired me to be more creative when it comes to sexual acts.
So while sex feels good, you can still do other things that feel just as good if not better, just gotta be imaginative
So I hope I gave you all a little insight of a rather different view (I haven't met very many like myself.)
I don't think sex should be the most important part of a relationship and I don't think its necessary to make things work. Sex usually clouds the mind to problems or differences in a relationship that suddenly become sharp and clear when you come out of the haze married or with kids. It's not something I would look for or seek out especially.
However good sex can certainly improve a good relationship and bad sex and ruin an already bad relationship.cystemic said:
With that I mean, if you honestly like each other, have fun together and really be a great couple, good sex can really improve that relationship, bad sex can at times be a downer but it certainly does not have to be a relationship breaker.
Whereas bad sex in an already unstable relationship can seriously flush it completely down the drain.
I'll be frank. Asexuality is a foreign concept to me. I mean, human beings are sexual creatures by nature. Aside from the dolphin, were the only species to have sex for pleasure.
To OP:
If you stopped masturbating, you would not be asexual for very long.
Secondarily, the concept of "finding out" that you're asexual sounds both foreign and contrived. It seems like putting a nice spin on "I didn't get laid for a while, so therefore I'm asexual."
If you stopped masturbating, you would not be asexual for very long.
Secondarily, the concept of "finding out" that you're asexual sounds both foreign and contrived. It seems like putting a nice spin on "I didn't get laid for a while, so therefore I'm asexual."
Well I class myself have very little interest in sex, I've had relationships, I just never really felt the rush that people talk about, I actually thought I might be gay for a bit (figured out the hard way I'm not), sure the act itself is at least moderately enjoyable, and I still have the occasional urge that is common to the male gender (taken care of by lefty); but honestly after being out of the dating game for the better half of a decade I really don't see the appeal, I look at an attractive woman (or the rare man) in tight jeans and just go "hot" and then about 10 seconds later I've forgotten all about them.
I don't know if that makes me asexual or just plain uninterested in romantic or physical relationships, I do know I still want the common human desire of companionship, but that's easily taken care of by hanging out with friends and family.
Whenever I speak about it with people they make me feel like a freak, but I'm long over giving a crap about what people think about me, I've been a freak all my life, so in the words of the bard "to thine own self be true"
I don't know if that makes me asexual or just plain uninterested in romantic or physical relationships, I do know I still want the common human desire of companionship, but that's easily taken care of by hanging out with friends and family.
Whenever I speak about it with people they make me feel like a freak, but I'm long over giving a crap about what people think about me, I've been a freak all my life, so in the words of the bard "to thine own self be true"
I think what the OP was meaning, was that he found people aesthetically attractive, but does not have the desire to have sex with them. Its like thinking that someone is beautiful, but that does not necessarily mean that that view of beauty stems from sexual attraction. Aesthetic and Sexual attraction hold different meanings.Danzaivar said: