Being Asexual In A Sexual Society

[garfoldsomeoneelse]

Don't want to sound rude, but I am pretty sure asexual only refers to being able to carry on your own genes to the next generation. From parent cell to daughter cell, and this is really only common for cells; of course there are exceptions but I am pretty sure people are not asexual. Maybe non- sexual is proper, but asexual refers to passing of only your genetic information to the next generation. Feel free to argue with me, I have never heard of referring to a person as asexual though; just curious really. I am a biology major though, so kind of only exposed to cellular stuff and those terms.

That really only applies when the words "asexual reproduction" are used in conjunction.

But if you were really asexual, then by that same definition, all the sexual references flying around you would probably be automatically ignored since you wouldn't care.
I apologize if this is offensive, but in my opinion, if it makes you that uncomfortable, you aren't sounding like an asexual... More like a teenage girl who hit puberty.

I'm an atheist, yet I am not oblivious to religious themes being inappropriately injected into situations, and it makes me feel uncomfortable because I'm being reminded that I'm part of a minority that is recognized almost entirely through preconceived notions by people with a poor understanding. It's a near-direct parallel.

EDIT:

Snip.

I'm glad you believe yourself capable of accurately psychoanalyzing everybody in this thread by way of broad, sweeping generalizations, but your entire post is an entire article [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Appeal_to_nature] you decided not to read before insisting that asexual people are socially inept losers with a severe case of sour grapes. In case you decided not to read it, here's the very first sentence:

Asexuality (also known as nonsexuality), in its broadest sense, is the lack of sexual attraction or the lack of interest in and desire for sex.

 

[IkeGreil29]

I'm personally quite sexual right now, what with crazed teenage hormones, so I can't say whether I will be later on.

However, I find it to be actually much more... reasonable than being sex monsters. Number one, we have enough humans, and number two, if you can have a relationship without the physical part, as over-used and cheesy as this is, it actually might mean something in the end rather than just preserving the species while staying true to what we have come to know as morals.

I admire you sir. You will be the first human I will present to off-world life if such occasion arises.

 

[Riku'sTwilight]

Just to be clear, i'm heterosexual, but I'm also asexual which means that I like women, I can find them attractive, both in personality and in physical form but I do not want to sleep with any woman.

Wait, so have you ever done it at all or even "done it" to yourself? :S I know that is a bit personal but Im curious, if you've never had sex before who knows if you'll actually like it enough to not be asexual anymore. Sometimes I wish I was asexual though, but only because of the loads of attractive girls Ill never get a shot at. For guys who aren't asexual, it really is never enough Im pretty sure thats speaking for 99.9% of men.

This post is about me, being asexual in a world/society which seems to be overly sexualised these days. Just to be clear, i'm heterosexual, but I'm also asexual which means that I like women, I can find them attractive, both in personality and in physical form but I do not want to sleep with any woman (and before people say it, no i'm not gay so don't even bother suggesting that I like men).

Are you a virgin? Not trying to be a prick or anything I'm just wondering if you experienced it before.

No it's ok I understand that you both (both people above this comment) want to know. I am a virgin yes, and I have tried to have sex before. I can get aroused (as I have stated before) but when it comes to doing anything then I purely don't ejaculate (and this is not because I was nervous before you guys say anything) and so I know that sexual relations with someone is not my cup of tea, as I did before trying it out.

Don't want to sound rude, but I am pretty sure asexual only refers to being able to carry on your own genes to the next generation. From parent cell to daughter cell, and this is really only common for cells; of course there are exceptions but I am pretty sure people are not asexual. Maybe non- sexual is proper, but asexual refers to passing of only your genetic information to the next generation. Feel free to argue with me, I have never heard of referring to a person as asexual though; just curious really. I am a biology major though, so kind of only exposed to cellular stuff and those terms.

Doesn't Asexual mean something can reproduces by itself?

You are both right, but the term also refers to the lack of desire for sex (see any dictionary)

 

[SamsaStanfield]

I can understand why someone would be ambivalent with respect to their sexuality.

That said, I'm a ridiculously lustful person (this is my own doing, ha ha) and I honestly couldn't even imagine being indifferent to DAT ASS.

Must be nice.

 

[Not-here-anymore]

I wouldn't say I'm asexual, per se, just that I'm a hopeless romantic.
Whilst I can appreciate the attractiveness of pretty much any human being, some part of me is looking at them as a potential partner, rather than just for sex. At university, this isn't always a winning strategy...

Not that I'm ruling out sex, it seems like a good idea. It's just that it seems like a relationship-affirming thing for me, rather than a one-night stand thing.

...I've turned down sex before, for reasons along those lines. Am I doing it wrong?

No you're not doing it wrong at all, I know how uni can be a really tough time (i've just finished there myself) and I also know what girls can be like at uni.
Believe me, if you were at my university with your attitude of looking for a life partner rather than a quickie you would have gone far.

You've just got to find the right type of girl to fit what you're looking for.
They are out there, so don't worry just now

Woaah! No-one said life partner! That shows far too much pre-planning for my liking... I dunno, I just want something vaguely meaningful and lasting longer than a month (those have never gone well for me).
That tends to backfire, with the odd side effect of me having a lot of very good friends, all of whom are girls. It seems I wait just slightly too long before making a move, and suddenly realize that I'm in the friend-zone. Don't get me wrong, I like my friends! I just wish I could get my timing right... And I apologise too much for inflicting my somewhat maudlin mood on you.

Other people get this too, right - the random urge to open up on-line, that you'd never have in real life?

 

[Slash47]

And if a hot/nice/cool girl asked you out on a date? Just curious, not trying to be annoying.

For me, I've never been able to have sex with a girl I love. If I love someone, I put 'm on a pedestal and stare at them in awe. I have the same with men I respect by the way, except for the sexual bit which makes me feel less horrible about it. I get anxious and clumbsy around people I admire.

And sex with someone I don't love is kinda meh.

As for my views: WHO CARES! Just don't drink and drive and don't spread STDs please

 

[hem dazon 90]

I never really "got" it. Like homosexuality has a biological reason for existing "I think" while asexuality just never seemed to

 

[zelda2fanboy]

To the OP: For the most part I don't believe in the existence of "asexuality" as an orientation. Often it seems to crop up as a means of rationalizing failure in the dating game and trying to make it into a positive or at least a less-negative (from what you say, I understand why your friends think you gave up, that would be my assessment too).

At more or less the exact same time I was writing my wall o' text, someone else was writing far more eloquently what I was clumsily trying to say.

 

[Honeyfish]

Now I'm wondering if anyone here is aromantic as well as asexual. As in, not desiring a romantic relationship. I'm baffled by the feelings my sister has for her boyfriend. I just don't get it. I could never feel that way about somebody. Sure I can love people and I have friends, but I don't want a boy or girlfriend.

 

[ArcWinter]

Well, everyone has two brains. A developed human brain, and a base reptilian brain.

So you probably have a smaller or differently devloped reptilian brain.

Beinq an adolescent, I have sexual urqes, but since I consciously differentiate between brains, I can requlate it pretty easily.

I have a friend who says he is asexual, but I am not sure, as it could be that he just doesn't know anyone that he is attracted to (I can't blame him, our school is full of tools(literally full of fiqurative tools(no seriously 80% of the people in our qrade shouldn't have qraduated elementary school))).

Rationally, sex is fine. Fun activity, and if you want children, it's the most efficient way.

Needless to say, society is horrible, and you should iqnore it as much as possible.

well that is what i have to say i am pretty sure it didnt relate to anythinq here but if it did well then serendipity i quess

 

[mrpenguinismyhomeboy]

See. The funny thing is that I want sex. Alot of it, to be precise (I'm sixteen shut up). But like, I think I'm really bad at it. I also I'm not good at womens. So, I abstain from relationships as a result of my own lack of self confidence in my Bed abilities.

 

[Bloodstain]

~snip~

But what about so-called asexuals who have a preferred gender when looking for potential partners? Doesn't that imply heterosexuality (or homosexuality, respectively) with a suppressed sexual urge?
And even if there is no preference; one could still argue that it's based on bisexuality.
Here's the problem: You can't see why someone refuses sexual intercourse. Genetic deficiencies, personal image, willpower, traumata...of course you can ask, but do they tell the truth? Do they know the truth to begin with? Talk about autosuggestion. Some may want to believe they're asexual even though they're just suppressing their urges.
Of course, one could question if these differentiations are important to begin with.

You see, there's a hell of a lot to discuss and much is unclear.

(Besides, I'm too tired at the moment...it's 03:35 AM here)

 

[Keltrick]

I am asexual by choice. I find any relationship pointless when it is a distinct possibility I could be dead in a few years. Besides, relationships never last.

To each their own.

I will ask this though, being dead in a few years is ALWAYS a possibility, so why isn't everything pointless? Surely there are some things in life you care about. Why is their value not affected by the threat of death looming over the horizon.

As for relationships never last ... Eh, I see your point. In our day MOST don't, but I wont say that relationships in general dont. Its a fact we have some (albeit rare) couples who are together for the long haul and genuinely happy.

 

[Lunepyre]

I'm asexual, myself. Insofar as I have no interest in sex, am not sexually attracted to either gender. It's been an interesting 21 years..a looot of shit I can't relate to in the slightest x3 I find it helps a lot with the emotional development of things at least. I used to think that I was better off alone, content with my being so, but after having been in a relationship for a while I realized that such a special bond shouldn't be missed!

Being asexual did have it's issues though.. I told my bf that if he ever needed sex, go ahead and have sex elsewhere, it was never a problem for me. It isn't fair of me to let myself restrict such things. A lot of my own views conflicted with his, but hey he stuck by me for that long! Things are on hiatus but I have a renewed confidence in myself. Asexual/Sexual relationships *can* work :3

I haven't been too bothered with sexuality elsewhere, I understand it's a natural thing and approach it as such, I just have little actual input on said subjects x3

 

[PrototypeC]

Not sure whether asexuality is a mutation, but it could be. Clearly a beneficial one, in this case. By that I mean, it's not a "normal" thing to have, but I have the feeling a lot more people are asexual than are reported.

Am I right in assuming that that includes not receiving as much euphoria, relaxation or endorphin release after sexual activity? Sorry if that's too personal, but asexuality intriques me a lot.

OT, I am in no way asexual, and heterosexual.

 

[Antitonic]

Spoiler: Snip

~snip~

But what about so-called asexuals who have a preferred gender when looking for potential partners? Doesn't that imply heterosexuality (or homosexuality, respectively) with a suppressed sexual urge?
And even if there is no preference; one could still argue that it's based on bisexuality.
Here's the problem: You can't see why someone refuses sexual intercourse. Genetic deficiencies, personal image, willpower, traumata...of course you can ask, but do they tell the truth? Do they know the truth to begin with? Talk about autosuggestion. Some may want to believe they're asexual even though they're just suppressing their urges.
Of course, one could question if these differentiations are important to begin with.

You see, there's a hell of a lot to discuss and much is unclear.

(Besides, I'm too tired at the moment...it's 03:35 AM here)

Well, quoting the same source, there are gay asexuals, and straight asexuals. They're asexual by virtue of not feeling the need to "do" anything, but have orientations as to who they seek non-sexual relationships with.

Personally, if I were to ever have a relationship that would be considered "more" than friendship to outsiders, it would probably be with a woman. From my point of view, it would be a regular friendship. Admittedly, that's a long shot, and a hypothetical to boot. The idea of sex repulses me, and I'm not a fan of hugging or kissing.

But that's the thing. I love opinions, don't you?

 

[Honeyfish]

That's extremely ignorant of you, Xiado.

Some people just, get this, /don't want to have sex./ It has nothing to do with being nonconformist or repressing trauma.

 

[The Man With the Soap]

I am asexual by choice. I find any relationship pointless when it is a distinct possibility I could be dead in a few years. Besides, relationships never last.

To each their own.

I will ask this though, being dead in a few years is ALWAYS a possibility, so why isn't everything pointless? Surely there are some things in life you care about. Why is their value not affected by the threat of death looming over the horizon.

As for relationships never last ... Eh, I see your point. In our day MOST don't, but I wont say that relationships in general dont. Its a fact we have some (albeit rare) couples who are together for the long haul and genuinely happy.

People tend to get killed when they get shipped to Iraq. I merely don't want to have to worry about my woman cheating on me while I'm over there.