Best and Worst Ways to Start a Conversation

[QuantumNC]

Best:
"I like turtles" (You'd be surprised how many time's this has worked at getting a conversation started!)

Worst:
Everything else.

Word.
I once spent about 20 minutes discussing Turtle Ice Cream with a girl, before I even got her name.
I may or may not have been drunk.
May or may not.

 

[Shadow_Kid]

Is that felt?

.

.
or do u wanna be?

it's so bad it's good

 

[WolfThomas]

"Hi, does this wrag smell of chloroform?"

I had a friend whose older (late 20s) brother somehow got some chloroform, I don't know if he made it, stole it or bought it or what his intention were.

But his younger brother found him passed out in the loungeroom, clutching a rag soaked with it and instead of calling for help (he thought his brother was napping, stoned, or drunk) he smelt the rag. Bad idea, wakes later and a third guy, one of his friends who was over at his house, is unconscious as well.

Edit: Funny thing is chloroform is mild carcinogen, so we had this joke that when someone was being abducted they were like "oh not chloroform, I could get cancer!". As if that was their only concern about the situation.

 

[Ursus Astrorum]

Bad:"You know... I heard that it's amazing when the famous purple stuffed worm of flap-jaw space with a tuning fork does a raw blink over hara-kiri rock."

Best:"You couldn't sleep either, huh?"

You'd be amazed how many times this works under the right conditions (night at a several day-long social gathering like a cruise, you two are alone or one of the few still awake), particularly on folks who play JRPGs.

 

[Lord Beautiful]

"Hi, does this wrag smell of chloroform?"

I had a friend whose older (late 20s) brother somehow got some chloroform, I don't know if he made it, stole it or bought it or what his intention were.

But his younger brother found him passed out in the loungeroom, clutching a rag soaked with it and instead of calling for help (he thought his brother was napping, stoned, or drunk) he smelt the rag. Bad idea, wakes later and a third guy, one of his friends who was over at his house, is unconscious as well.

Edit: Funny thing is chloroform is mild carcinogen, so we had this joke that when someone was being abducted they were like "oh not chloroform, I could get cancer!". As if that was their only concern about the situation.

Weird. And yet strangely humorous.

 

[Erana]

"Press Start."

"Rumors" is good, too.

 

[DarthHK]

"Can you find out where that voice is coming from? And tell it to get out of my head."

 

[Eldritch Warlord]

We need to *Belches, live chicken comes out*

 

[oni565]

Worst:

"I killed your mother"

 

[Erana]

I also get mixed reviews when I say, (with a straight face) "This was a triumph...(You can figure out what goes on from here)"

 

[Spektre41]

Hi, let's boink.

 

[Avatar Roku]

Bad:"You know... I heard that it's amazing when the famous purple stuffed worm of flap-jaw space with a tuning fork does a raw blink over hara-kiri rock. I need Scissors. Sixty-one."

You forgot the part I bolded. Best video game related line ever, except maybe "All your base".

 

[Ursus Astrorum]

Bad:"You know... I heard that it's amazing when the famous purple stuffed worm of flap-jaw space with a tuning fork does a raw blink over hara-kiri rock. I need Scissors. Sixty-one."

You forgot the part I bolded. Best video game related line ever, except maybe "All your base".

Left off the scissors and 61 bit intentionally, but thanks for reminding me of the tuning fork.

 

[Dommyboy]

Walk next to them and say "Don't touch my arse!"

 

[Shugaazer]

I've found saying 'hi' and then staring mouth agape at cleavage to generally end conversations swiftly.

 

[Skarvey]

Would you believe that most of my best conversations have started by talking about sex? Seriously, sex is the gateway into any sort of conversation, politics, literature, art, anything. My friends and I started shooting the breeze about sexual conquest, and we ended up discussing Freud.

As for terrible conversation starters, lean in real close to someone, stick your nose to them and sniff real loud, then in your most sincere, innocent sounding voice, look them straight in the eyes and say "You smell like Jesus..." 99.9% of the time, that person is gonna up and leave but quick like. Great for saving seats at the movies/bar/parties

 

[Enigmers]

Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?

 

[Valiance]

Best: "Hello. My Name Is Inigo Montoya. You Killed My Father. Prepare to Die."
Worst: 'hey. u play WoW?'

 

[Twilight_guy]

Some very bad greetings:
"Hi, I have diarrhea, nice to meet you"
*stare at them for three minutes without blinking, and then slowly back away*
"Hi there I'm- hey your really fat"(only works on girls).
"Hi, I'm a mass serial killer and I'm here and end your life horrifically. How should we proceed?"
*walk up to someone in ordinary clothes*"Hi, I'm batman and this is my friend robin"*motion to the empty air next to you
*walk into a crowded room, get to the center of the area, and shout at the top of your lungs* "hey, I just farted"
*pick your nose, and then shake hands with your nose picking hand*

A good greeting:
I'll tell you when I can introduce myself without embarrassment.

 

[meatloaf231]

"Rumors" is good, too.

Curses! Beaten to the punch.