Best and Worst Ways to Start a Conversation

[Caimekaze]

Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?

My friend's friend (now it sounds untrue!) is still in a relationship by going up to someone in a bar and saying "Nice fuck, wanna shoes?" This was seven months ago.

"Nice legs, when do they open?"

And from back in my socially-retarded days: "Judging by your shirt, I'd say you're awesome."

 

[Abedeus]

"HALLO MATE! WHAT'S THE GOOD WORD?!" in a terribly overexaggerated Australian accent.

I already have an Australian accent. And we would say G'day. And where the hell did good word come from?

I know you would say G'day. But that's why it's the worst greeting.

And, well... I noticed people in Poland react strange when you ask "what's good lately". Maybe because there isn't much.

 

[Vanilla Gorilla]

"Does this rash look like thrush to you?" surely...although maybe it's more of a pickup line...

Did you fall from heaven? 'Cos you've got nice cans... (thankyou Futurama, try and replace cans, it just doesn't sound right.)

 

[forever saturday]

"hi im (name) what the fuck do you want?" thats pretty good right there.

 

[Firefly22]

Fancy going halfs on a bastard?

 

[NekoAnastasia]

"I have a fat fetish", or, "I never realised what a different make-up could make, until I saw you".

Personally I want to stab anyone who still uses the "wazzzuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuppppp" thing from the Bud adverts.

 

[EXPLICITasian]

a good way to start a conversation is "whats your favorite color?"
a good way to end one is "whats your favorite color.....ed person?"

 

[Jumpman]

You're much prettier up close. as opposed to, you know, staring through your bathroom window in the middle of the night...

 

[wewontdie11]

Best: Hi I'm [name], what's up?

Worst: Hey... wanna see a dead body?

and

Salutations my siblings raised by varying maternal figures!

 

[Mega Moose]

"Hi there. Can I lick you?"

"Do you want to see my Über Micro?"

 

[sheic99]

Best: What's your favorite color?
Worst: What's your favorite color... person?

I'd say cookie to the reference and all that, but that's been overused so much that I no longer hold cookie's in high esteem.

It sounds like "Good Idea, Bad Idea" from Animaniacs.

 

[Padfoot13]

to quote demetri martin, "a great way to start a conversation is 'what's your favorite color.' a great way to end a conversation is 'what's your favorite color...people.'"

 

[JoshasorousRex]

"I have a +69 staff of penetration"

 

[GunnerGraye]

"Oh, hi there...would this happen to be YOUR leg?"

 

[Jamash]

"How much does a Polar Bear weigh?"

"Excuse me, what?"

"How much does a Polar Bear weigh?"

"I don't know"

"Neither do I, but it's enough to break the ice".

 

[new_age_reject]

"How much does a Polar Bear weigh?"

"Excuse me, what?"

"How much does a Polar Bear weigh?"

"I don't know"

"Neither do I, but it's enough to break the ice".

Damn I was just about to bust this one out.

"I bet you've never seen one of these before!"

 

[The_Chief]

Best: What's your favorite color?
Worst: What's your favorite color... person?

I'd say cookie to the reference and all that, but that's been overused so much that I no longer hold cookie's in high esteem.

I DON'T CARE IF YOU DON'T CARE DEMTRI MARTIN WHERES MY COOKIE NOW!!!!!

 

[Hazy]

"Hey, Hows it going?" Usually works for me when I'm trying to land a date.
Worst: "Wow, did you do adult films or something!?"

 

[white_salad]

"Excuse me miss, I find you quite pleasing to the eye, and I would be honored to engage in a most profound, thought-provoking, and rousing discussion with you. Hmm, what's that? A splendid lady like you is already taken, and your current lover wishes to engage me in a bout of fisticuffs for having the audacity to speak with you? Then to him, I say, "HAVE AT YOU, CUR! I'LL GIVE YOU WHAT FOR!"

This is the most amazing thing I have ever read. You have made my day. May all your camels be spit free.