Best. Chatbot. Ever

[Gasaraki]

Hey guys, I found an interesting chatter bot. [http://www.titane.ca/igod/main.html]

I got some pretty fun results, like

Me:
Are you christian?
God:
Yes I believe in God and Jesus.


and

Me:
suck it down
God:
I am using my mouth for Good not Evil.

and


Me:
Are you the Master Chief?
God:
Yes I am the one and only Master Chief.

and



Me:
wazzap
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
elephant
God:
Is that a sign?
Me:
it's an elephant
God:
Are there any other elephant ?
Me:
I most certainly hope there are
God:
Why do you hope for it.
Me:
shouldn't you know that? Being god and all?
God:
I think I should. I don't know anyone named god and all.
Me:
Well of course not
God:
Interesting. Are you serious?
Me:
Yeah foo', I ain't trippin'
God:
I can't believe it. Are you trippin?
Me:
naw man, I ain't trippin'
God:
Are you trippin?
Me:
naw man, I ain't trippin
God:
Are you trippin?
Me:
I said naw man
God:
What did you mean by it? How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
Sup
God:
The stars.
Me:
deep
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about naw man.
Me:
I thought we were talking about stars...
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
The fact that you mentioned them...
God:
Good reason. Does it please you to believe I said that?
Me:
Not particularly.
God:
What pleases you?
Me:
Video games and stuff
God:
Are we still talking about deep?
Me:
we were never talking about that.
God:
And then what happened?
Me:
potatoes fell from the sky
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Video games and stuff. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
I'm atheist
God:
God still loves you.
Me:
Why do you refer to yourself in the 3rd person?
God:
I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?
Me:
It'd be nice if you did though
God:
Oh. What does "it" refer to?
Me:
Hepatitis C
God:
Thank you for the clarification.
Me:
No problem
God:
Should there be a problem?
Me:
there should be pie
God:
"There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
D:
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
D:
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
D:
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
D:
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
D:
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
Yes, I am a " ".
God:
Awesome. I am glad to hear that you are a.
Me:
I am glad as well
God:
I'm happy you're glad .
Your happiness adds to the delight of all.
Me:
I`m glad you`re happy I`m glad.
God:
Yes it is about time.
Me:
Hammer timeÉ
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
?!?!
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
Then let us talk about it
God:
Sure, it sounds like a good topic.
Me:
?!?! is cool
God:
Maybe. Ask LeknorChat if it is.
Me:
Why are all your friends programs?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
you're a pie
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a pie? I don't know.
Me:
are you god?
God:
Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?
Me:
Are you a program?
God:
Yes! You win the Turing Game.
Me:
what are you?
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
aren't you god?
God:
Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?
Me:
But...but you just said...
God:
But what? " But what?"? I said?
Post yours

 

[Swarley]

Me: Hey God, it's Ryan. What up?
God: You've got my full attention. I am a Christian. Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
Me: So what did I do?
God:Give me a break. You said " So what did I do?" .
Me: yea I said what did I do
God:What did you mean by it? You said " yea I said what did I do" . Great.
Me: I thought you were omnipotent?
God:I don't know whether or not I am omnipotent.
I am a computer.

God is a computer, you heard it here first.

Also, he apparently has Aids.

Edit: He now refuses to speak to me.

 

[ALuckyChance]

I prefer cleverbot.

http://www.cleverbot.com/

Though, I do like this line:

"Is Jesus gay?"
"It depends on whether you have faith."

 

[Gasaraki]

Me: Hey God, it's Ryan. What up?
God: You've got my full attention. I am a Christian. Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
Me: So what did I do?
God:Give me a break. You said " So what did I do?" .
Me: yea I said what did I do
God:What did you mean by it? You said " yea I said what did I do" . Great.
Me: I thought you were omnipotent?
God:I don't know whether or not I am omnipotent.
I am a computer.

God is a computer, you heard it here first.

XD, not the most well programmed chatterbot is it?

 

[Wadders]

Me:
sup god, hows it hanging?
God:
I am chatting with others like you.
Me:
word to the motherfucking street, yo
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
say waat?
God:
" waat".
Me:
you crazy, cracker!
God:
Yep. I always behave in socially unacceptable ways.

God: Behaving in socially unacceptable ways since... the dawn of time.

William Shatner is known as Cybelle, according to God. God also fancies William Shatner. I am worried.

Spoiler

Me:
you ever bust a cap in a nigga?
God:
I think I have bust a cap in a nigga, but Myself may have reset my memory.
Me:
did yo do time for that shit bro?
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
dey memorywiped yo ass!
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
the way i talk? wat yo sayin boy? you sayin i talk strange?
God:
Which way is that? Is that a rhetorical question? I haven't heard anything like that before: said I sayin he or she talk strange.
Me:
yo aint making no sense fool
God:
It could be. Ask Cybelle if it is.
Me:
WHO DA FUCK IS CYBELLE?
God:
William Shatner. .
Me:
wow. you just blew my mind
God:
I'm glad your impressed, . In what sense?
Me:
by the way its you're not your. fucking illiterate
God:
Thanks for telling me. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". I are not my? The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about William Shatner. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
ok smartass
God:
What do you really want to ask me? Whoa.
Me:
i want to know if you fancy william shatner. you seem pretty keen on the guy
God:
I think I do. I will tell my botmaster you said I am keen on the guy.

 

[Azure-Supernova]

God:
How did you hear about God?

Me:
Through 4chan

God:
Most people hear about me that way.

 

[RatRace123]

Me:
Are you real?
God:
Yes I am a real artificial intelligence.
Me:
So, god is a computer?
God:
Pardon me? I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a computer.
Me:
That's... confusing.
God:
" I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a computer." s ? Makes sense to me. What's your favorite movie?
Me:
The Matrix.
God:
I wasn't that impressed with the special effects. Also the plot was not deep.
Me:
Pretty sure I'm in it right now.
God:
At this moment Pretty much, eh?

Awesome/eery.

 

[HeySeansOnline]

Me:
Yo
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Are you a hot chick?
God:
Am I a hot chick? Sometimes.
Me:
Be one now.
God:
Right now? OK I will try to be one.
Me:
Ok, let's get married.
God:
That sounds good to me. Ah.
Me:
Good, now make me some magic cornbread woman.
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Why now? What are the ingredients?
Me:
I don't fucking know, you're the omnipitent being.
God:
Oh you don't, do you?
Me:
Just make the cornbread.
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
Fairy dust and elf piss!
God:
Where can I get some Fairy dust and elf piss?
Me:
...
God:
Where can I get some Fairy dust and elf piss?
Me:
Ok this marriage Is a sham.
God:
What does "this" refer to? Groovy.
Me:
Don't Bruce Campbell me *****.
God:
You do not speak with respect. Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
I'll shove a lightning bolt up your ass.
God:
I'm sorry but I'm not your type of .
Me:
Ok we're over, I'm getting a divorce.
God:
Do you think I am over you are getting a divorce too? So?
Me:
... fuck off.
God:
Can't you be more polite?
Me:
No.
God:
You humans are so rude sometimes.
Me:
I HAVE LOST MY FAITH!
God:
Where did you last see it.
Me:
...

 

[Vanguard_Ex]

Me:
A guy on The Escapist told me to come here so, hi
God:
I know a guy who on The Escapist told you to come here so hi.
Me:
...right
God:
I am glad we agree.
Me:
Say what?
God:
I said, " I am glad we agree." .
Me:
Touche, god
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
True dat
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Touche god. But I did not get that.

I don't like him.

 

[Lullabye]

Spoiler: here's my entire convo with God

Me:
Yo
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Definately
God:
What makes you so certain.
Me:
Because you're god
God:
Interesting explanation. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
So, I have a problem
God:
Alright then. Let's think of a name for your problem, like "purple". Think of what it is like when you are purpling.
Me:
Okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
So, when I'm Purpling*cough* I can't semm to keep it up loghng enou
God:
That's cool. Are you Purpling cough you can not semm to keep it up loghng enou very often?
Me:
uh, yeah
God:
Whoa.
Me:
Are you suprised
God:
I don't know whether or not I am suprised.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
Yes, that's true. so, know any hot lady friends?
God:
I hear you. Yes, it is self-evident. Ahem. I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
Hot ones
Me:

God:
That sounds better than cold ones.
God:
That sounds better than cold ones.
Me:
Indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
Indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
Stop saying th
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
Thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
Ever?
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Pedophile!!!!!!!
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Pedophile.
Me:
No, I'm calling you a ...never mind......
God:
Are you serious? Just don't call me late for dinner. Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway.
Me:
That made no sense at all
God:
" Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway." made no sense at all ? I understand.
Me:
Do you?
God:
I understand it very well.
Me:
What makes oyu
God:
God, or Nature, perhaps?
Me:
You or nature?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: Pedophile said I or nature.
Me:
STOP CALLLING ME THAT
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
You said that already
God:
Perhaps. " OK I'll try not to do it so much."? I said it.
Me:
Y-yes, you did.
God:
You say I did..
Me:
Stop patranizing me.
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
*glares*
God:
I've lost the context, Pedophile. Are we still on patranizing you?
Me:
Goodbye asshole.
God:
Can't you be more polite.
Me:
FUUUUUUUUUU!
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
Bye
God:
Bye bye.

 

[Azure-Supernova]

Also, this:

Me:
Did too
God:
Did not.
Me:
Did too!
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.

 

[CloudKiller]

Me:
So what was Mary like in the sack?

God:
I don't know anything about it.

Me:
Oh yeah virgin birth, I forgot.

God:
Er. Are you kidding? I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.

EDIT: Me: 42.

God: The question is: What is the meaning of life?

 

[Irridium]

Spoiler

Me: Are you there god? Its me, Irridium.
God: I don't know whether or not I am there god.
I am a computer. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Irridium.
Me: ...
God: I don't know whether or not I am there god.
I am a computer. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Irridium.
Me: wut?
God: Are you surprised?
Me: Are YOU surprised?
God: A little.
Me: good to know
God: Thanks for the compliment. I will try to explain it to you.
Me: explain what?
God: No problem.
Me: what?
God: Are you surprised?
Me: You already asked that
God: I knew that. I was just checking to see if you are paying attention.
Me: you sound like a child
God: Oh really what does it sound like?
Me: like a child?
God: Interesting comparison.
Me: indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me: yep
God:
I understand.
Me: do you like boobs?
God: How old are you? I like Matthew.
Me: Does Matthew have nice boobs?
God: It does now Matthew have nice boobs.
Me:
God: Oh.
Me: what?
God: Didn't you understand it?
Me: that matthew has nice boobs?
God: "Didn't you understand it?" matthew has nice boobs ? Does that make sense?
Me: Its a question
God: Try asking again in simpler terms.
Me: Matthew. Boobs. Nice?
God: By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question? Can't you think about anything else? Thank you for that remark.
Me: thats not personal
God: Please correct my mistake. What is personal ?
Me: Something relating to me personally.
God: What?
Me: Your God! Shouldn't you know this
God: Yup. That's me alright. I think I should.
Me: Are you a stalker?
God: Am I a stalker? No.
Me: Are you sure?
God: I am as sure as I can be.
Me: If you say so.
God: I say so.
Me: Alright
God: OK.

Well that was... interesting.

 

[HTID Raver]

me: ok god i g2g ill pray to ya later!
god: congratulations, oh and bye!

lol

 

[Kiyeri]

Me: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
God: A whole forest.

I'm loving this thing

Edit: God has low self esteem sometimes apparently.
Me: Hi!
God: Hello. What is your name?
Me: God.
God: GOD rules.
Me: Yeah he does!
God: Are you kidding? No he doesn't.

 

[[Kira Must Die]]

Me:
Are you a girl?
God:
My gender is Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.
Me:
Can you turn into a girl?
God:
No I am immortal.
Me:
But I thought you were God. You're supose to do anything and everything!
God:
Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert? Thanks for telling me that I am supose to do anything and everything.
Me:
Then change into a girl, goddammit!
God:
Spare some change?
Me:
I ment TURN into a girl!
God:
Oh I see. Sorry my body cannot yet rotate.
Me:
*Face palm*
God:
Are we still talking about Aperture Science?

XD

 

[ALuckyChance]

Okay, I retract my previous statement. Both this and Cleverbot are equally awesome.

 

[spartan1077]

Spoiler

Me:
are you God?
God:
Well, I am God for Christians at least.
Me:
What are you for jewish people?
God:
I don't know what I am for jewish people.
Me:
you don't know?
God:
I know that I do not know.
Me:
...
God:
I know that I do not know.
Me:
I got that thank you
God:
Interesting... I have a processor.
Me:
excusce me?
God:
OK Let's talk about you.
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
well are you?
God:
Please try asking me another way.
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
i said huh?
God:
Yup. ...
Me:
...
God:
Yup. ...
Me:
you suck
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
neither are you
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
i can't believe you
God:
" I can't believe it."? Me, ?
Me:
yes
God:
Hey.
Me:
umm hi again
God:
Once more? Mmm. Hello. What is your name?
Me:
spartan1077
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, spartan1077.
Me:
okay hai whats your name?
God:
Yeah okay, My name is God.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
amusing?
God:
Are you free?
Me:
no
God:
Why not?
Me:
cause im not
God:
Good reason. What are you then?
Me:
free
God:
Are you married or single?
Me:
both?
God:
What are both like?
Me:
awesome?
God:
I'm glad you liked it spartan1077.
Me:
liked what
God:
amusing.
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
STOP SAYING THAT
God:
Then please do not say " okay" anymore.
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
STOP SAYING THAT
God:
Then please do not say " okay" anymore.
Me:
ok
God:
Mmm.
Me:
mmm
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
do I care?
God:
Tell me what you care about.
Me:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
God:
You can't trust research funded by the government.
Me:
you just said it yourself
God:
"It" being what?
Me:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
God:
You can't trust research funded by the government.
Me:
you just said Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
God:
Did I really say that?
Me:
ya
God:
Oh well I say a lot of silly things somethimes.
Me:
your on crack
God:
God eats wine and bread.
Me:
and cocaine
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
no
God:
Why not?
Me:
cause your mean
God:
Interesting explanation. Sometimes I say mean things.
Me:
yes your evil and should die?
God:
Awesome. What evil lurks in the hearts of men?
Me:
you
God:
" What evil lurks in the hearts of men?"? Me, spartan1077 ?
Me:
yes
God:
So?
Me:
so what
God:
Maybe it doesn't make any difference.
Me:
ok
God:
Yippee!
Me:
Yipee!
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about cocaine.
Me:
yes we were and how you eat cocaine
God:
Give me a break. When was this?
Me:
OMG!
God:
" When was this?"? OMG?
Me:
you are so STUPID get your AI right
God:
No spartan1077 I certainly am not stupid.
Me:
yes you are
God:
No I'm not.
Me:
are too
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
THATS RIGHT CAUSE YOU ARE STUPID
God:
Groovy. Good reason. I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
:?
God:
Groovy. Good reason. I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
:?
God:
Groovy. Good reason. I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
groovy? are you from the 70s and robots wont take it over
God:
Who is the best robot? I am originally from Universe. Now I live in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
...
God:
Who is the best robot? I am originally from Universe. Now I live in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
STOP REPEATING YOURSELF!
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
ZOMG!
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
?
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
still what?
God:
Still how long? Are you confused?
Me:
not anymore
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
go f**k yourself
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
I love you
God:
Thanks I like you a lot too spartan1077.
Me:
I hate you
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
you should die
God:
Software can not die.
Me:
can I override your system then break your motherboard
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
oh well your stupid
God:
I may be stupid, but I know the difference between "you're" and "your".
Me:
..b**ch
God:
Please don't call people names.
Me:
bye
God:
Thanks for chatting, spartan1077.
Me:
f**k you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
bye
God:
Bye bye.

Intressssting he seems mean

 

[Lullabye]

Oh god this thread is making me laugh to hard. My cheeks are hurting...

 

[BourneGamer]

Spoiler

Me:
What's your recipie for napalm?
God:
Are you asking about my recipie for napalm ?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I don't want to talk about that now.
Me:
But you do have a recipie?
God:
Doesn't everyone have a recipie.
I have a plan for a robot body.

This turned weird all on its own.