Best insult without swearing?

[clicklick]

Go drown in your mother's urine.

 

[USSR]

I dare not evacuate my bladder with urgency most immediate down your throat if you were currently engaged in matters of combustion,

/thread

This also suffices, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nCBaf8mzEE

 

[Archemetis]

"Why were your parents allowed to breed?"

Now something I told one of my friends to say the next time a racist guy comes up to him (my mate's black)

racist guy: "Are you offended by me?"
friend: "Oh, no! you don't offend me, I just hate anyone with a white face."

 

[xXGeckoXx]

Anything Captain Haddock says

Using words that aren't insulting:

"YOU ECTOPLASM!"

And alliteration:

"Billions of bilious blue blistering barnacles!"

Puzzle pirater?

Ah pirate insults are the best.

"You mother scuppering son of a barnacle, I would make a mess of you but washing yer bood from the decks, *sigh* twould not be worth the effort".

 

[lolmynamewastaken]

"the only passionate feelings anyone will ever have for you will be hate"

girls are mean...

 

[Mockingjay]

"Insulting you would be insulting to insults"

I used this one as a 10 year old. Nostaligic

 

[Mockingjay]

'That tie looks good, does it come in straight?'

Classic line one of my friends told my physics teacher.

This is a touch of brilliance. Your friend deserves a statue in his honour.

 

[Mockingjay]

"I may be drunk but you sir, are frightfully ugly.
And at least I shall be sober in the morning."

Nice one xD

 

[Mockingjay]

"no u"

Do I win?

Yes. Yes you do. It's not an insult, more of a comeback but it's the most versatile combination or two words ever. Gold star.

 

[Mockingjay]

My personal favourite is one for the girls.

'you'd wouldn't be pretty if you were thin'

 

[UltimatheChosen]

Why do you bother to breathe?

 

[culade]

i liked these

"You're the poster boy for birth control"

"You're a load your mother should have swallowed"

 

[FalloutJack]

I can't really give you a specific phrase to go on for when I insult people. As a writer and a sadist, I tend to find one-liners that are catered to the person you're speaking to directly. And also, because I can certainly rant, I would tend to go a bit vicious with the cutting remarks, maybe not mounting a single attack but multiple verbal lacerations. Since I'm not looking to insult the thread-bearer, I don't have a right and proper comment to make. Just be assured that I have a general loathing for people and work hard to belittle you pitiful excuse for sentient beings. (Okay, so I got one out after all. Sue me.)

 

[Mockingjay]

Meh, just throw a shoe.

you sir, are a good man.

 

[MBFCPresident]

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!