Best piece of random advice possible

[Simriel]

All problems can be solved with the application of Cake, A Nail Gun, and C4 in different quantities.

 

[SnippyWings]

Don't Blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't Blink. Good Luck.
anyone who can tell me where that's from can have a cookie!

Doctor Who, series 3, episode 10: "Blink"

It's fitting that you should be the one to guess that.
Also noticed that your title thing is from the same episode (wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff)
Anyway here's your cookie.

Spoiler: Also I took a bite because I was hungry.

 

[Ponch]

If it fees like more than two fingers, it's probably a dick. - Dave Attel
No one has freckles on their ass! Use a condom! - Dave Attel's (imaginary) parrot
Putting all of your force behind a single punch will either end a fight or start one you can't win. - Someone from where I live
One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do - Harry Nilsson

 

[Andraste]

Mantra for managers in regards to their people: Your success is my success.

Enable, encourage and empower your people to do great things, and that greatness will propel you all to win.

 

[DethVanXan]

Some advise my friend gave me when I first hooked up with a girl.
"If you see a whip; Run!"

Run? Run away just when it's getting interesting?

Also, "A crack means it's far away. A whiz means it's close." when you're being shot at.

That's wrong too if it's a typical modern rifle round. A 5.56mm going 2m over your head from a rifle 200m away produces a very loud whip-crack sound, followed 0.28 seconds later by the distant and much quieter bang of the gunshot. If you want to know where the shooter is, you have to listen for that bang and time the delay while you're busy going "Oh **** me incoming fire," diving to the ground and looking around for cover. If you know anyone who's had enough practice to do that accurately and reliably, never wake him up from in front.

That reminds me of some more advice: if you see a 19-yr-old in full issued combat gear from helmet to boots, including face-paint, dodging from cover to cover up an alleyway with an AK47 and a pack of lager, looking stressed and nervous, do not attempt to mug him. No, wait. If you're inclined to try it, go right ahead. The species does not need anyone that stupid in its gene pool.

Another:
Once is misfortune. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
Exclusion clause:
Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by incompetence.

I was referring to the bullets flying past. It it makes a crack sound the bullets are passing over you at a distance or the attacker is not firing at you. A whiz means the bullets are flying over at a close distance, like within a metre (Three feet) or two.
And I don't like whips, so I'd run.

 

[Jekken6]

Han shot first.

 

[Rune342]

Shoot anything with teeth bigger than its face.

 

[Revolutionary]

Stay away from dudes like this
<img src=http://www.lolsauce.com/RandomBS/Pedo%20bear.png>

 

[Allstar309]

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

Thats right

 

[Shoqiyqa]

A 5.56mm going 2m over your head from a rifle 200m away produces a very loud whip-crack sound, followed 0.28 seconds later by the distant and much quieter bang of the gunshot. If you want to know where the shooter is, you have to listen for that bang and time the delay while you're busy going "Oh **** me incoming fire," diving to the ground and looking around for cover. If you know anyone who's had enough practice to do that accurately and reliably, never wake him up from in front.

I was referring to the bullets flying past. It it makes a crack sound the bullets are passing over you at a distance or the attacker is not firing at you. A whiz means the bullets are flying over at a close distance, like within a metre (Three feet) or two.

Subsonics whiz. If someone's firing a subsonic weapon (e.g. a Colt 1911 with 253 m/s muzzle velocity) nearby, then you'll hear the gunshots as a bang and, if it's close enough, the bullet as a whizz.

A supersonic bullet (e.g. one at 940 m/s from an L86) is going to go crack.

Ricochets make a distinctive buzzuzzuzzuzzuzzuzzuzzuzzuzzuzzuzz sound and make a phenomenal mess if they hit something.

 

[Godaz]

Never take advice from strangers on Internet forums.

Edit: Stay low, stick to cover and watch your flanks.

 

[PixieFace]

Read a book.

Pet a dog.

Ride a bike.

Learn how to survive in worst case scenarios.

Become aware of your surroundings. Always have a plan.

Be respectful. Be polite. Be nice. But when worst comes to absolute worst, kick their ass and teach them a lesson.

 

[TheCrayonKeeper]

Alway cut the red wire...

 

[nickster1]

Don't stand behind a horse

 

[Shoqiyqa]

Hold ducks with the heads towards you. Ducks do not projectile vomit when held.

 

[ender214]

What you want matters very little to everyone else. Therefore, if you really want it to happen, I recommend you get to work.

 

[Mr.Valdor]

Don't drink the kool-aid.