Best Quotes from anywhere?

[DragonsAteMyMarbles]

"You're not drunk unless you can't lie down without needing to hold on to something."
-Dean Martin

"The human being passes through three phases in his or her life - youth, age, and 'you're looking wonderful'."
-Francis Spellman

"I'm not evil, just... er... colourfully pragmatic."
-Can't remember

"A person of true integrity is one who knows how to play the bagpipes, but chooses not to."
-Thomas Beecham

"Ouch!"
-Isaac Newton

 

[SovietSecrets]

Any quote from the Cheshire Cat in American Mcgee's Alice was pretty great.

"Every adventure requires a first step. Trite, but true, even here."

One of my favorites.

 

[Raiha]

just heard it in modern warfare 2 "who's soap?"

and from trigun "smile spikey, you look better when you smile. sorry, that was a bit harsh."

 

[Kimarous]

"Ah... spirits! Some like mead or wine, but nothing nourishes the soul like... devouring the souls of others!"

- Demon Familiar (Lionheart: Legacy of the Crusader)

 

[Dr Spaceman]

"Money can't buy knives."

-Iggy from Surf Ninjas

"And now, we must walk around the rubber tree plant, for as we all know, money can't buy knives." -Surf Ninjas (something close to that)

Rob Schneider's only good movie? I say yes. (Take that, Judge Dredd fans!!)

 

[Naheal]

* Alistair: "Just what would you do if your mother died?"
* Morrigan: "You mean, before or after I stopped laughing?"
* Alistair: "Right, very creepy. Forget I asked."

 

[Corpse XxX]

The medic in TF2 after you own someone: "Would you like a second opinion? You are also UGLY!"

 

[Artemis923]

"Cymoril...Cymoril, I have slain you."

 

[NyteRaven]

Some of my favourites:

"Pants on head retarded"
Yahtzee, from some ZP that I can never remember (would appreciate getting told btw).

Almost any quotes from Groucho Marx, including:- "Don't point your beard at me, it might go off!"

Or:- "She got her looks from her father, yea, he's a plastic surgeon."

heh

 

[high_castle]

* Alistair: "Just what would you do if your mother died?"
* Morrigan: "You mean, before or after I stopped laughing?"
* Alistair: "Right, very creepy. Forget I asked."

Alistair cracks me up in general. I wasn't going to use him for my tank until I found out how entertaining he was to have around. He quickly became one of my favorites because of that wit of his. Zevran's mouth is equally humorous, particularly when you take him and Wynn anywhere and listen to him compliment her bosom. And BioWare in general knows how to write good, witty, and emotional dialogue. The "Hold the Line" speech in Mass Effect is epic. But the funniest line in that game had to be:

Shep: What're you drinking?
Inamorda: Human blood. With cinnamon.

 

[Failhammer]

Any monkey can kill with a gun, if it's a very bad monkey. - Yahtzee

This is very important, can you see the chicken I am riding on too? I dropped acid earlier and I dont know whats going on. - Paul Saunders

Let us say, the Japanese on Iwo Jima in 1945 were better off than us. - Captain Johnathan Froyd

 

[Spaghetti]

"Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws." - Douglas Adams

"When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not know whether to answer 'Present' or 'Not guilty.'" - Teddy Roosevelt

"Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms." - Groucho Marx

 

[chinese_democracy]

From Metal Gear Solid 2:

Colonel: I hear it's amazing when the famous purple stuffed worm in flap-jaw space with the tuning fork does a raw blink on Hara-Kiri Rock. I need scissors! 61!

One of the few times that a game made me laugh hysterically.

 

[Xan Krieger]

name one place you'd never expect to find me
in bed with a girl

That was me chatting with a friend. Think I got third degree burns from that.
Anyway the real answer is "the gym" as I never work out ever. Need to change that though.

 

[grimsprice]

When in doubt. C4.

 

[Delrah]

"This too shall pass" Also from a book, it means that no matter how hard something is eventually it will be over.

That's actually a William Wallace quote. Well sota. The story goes Wallace put it to his men to come up with something that would keep him level headed when things were going well and cheer him when things were going bad. They came back with 'This too shall pass'.

I've always liked it.

 

[Christemo]

"everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it." - Confucius.

well, everything except Uwe Boll and Jack Thompson i guess.

 

[Cherry Cola]

"Jan is about to have a baby with a sperm donor, and Michael is preparing for the birth of a watermelon with Dwight. Now, this baby will be related to Michael through... Delusion."

 

[Maluku]

"Someone is wrong on the internet"

from xkcd..

http://xkcd.com/386/