Best Way To Make A Telemarketer Rage Quit

[Absimilliard]

My friend's dad kept on interrupting the marketer with questions of his own. Likewise, he has on several occasions tried selling stuff to people calling him to sell stuff...

 

[CincoDeMayo]

I'm usually polite, but I always wanted to try the "so... what are you wearing..?" on some unsuspecting man (or woman).

 

[Ultrajoe]

I put on my best power metal voice and start singing the chorus of whichever corny viking song of thunder enters my head.

Telemarketer: "Hello, this is Janet fro-"
UJ: "BROTHERS EVERYWHERE. RAISE YOUR HANDS INTO THE AIR, WE'RE WARRIORS, WARRIORS OF THE WORLD"
Telemarketer: "-wha-"
UJ" "YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

I hang up at this point, regardless of their response.

 

[Aggressor and Usurper]

"THE GAME! THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME! LOL WUT LOL WUT LOL WUT LOL WUT-*click*"
Never fails.
Ultrajoe, I do something similar. Except I generally go for "Fault to Fracture" by Converge.

 

[sky14kemea]

I just take the phone to the toilet, hold it over the bowl and flush the chain

I am totally doing that next time xD

They call me count dracula...Because I like to COUNT!

1..ah ah ah
2..ah ah ah
3..ah ah ah etc..

Do this for a while and they hang up

This made me giggle too

__

I usually just respond everything with a "yes" or "no", even when they're asking for names >_> Usually 'cause by the time I know its a telemarketer, I just start watching TV again.

 

[Rack]

These people have an unimaginably crappy job and you're just making it worse. They can get fired for hanging up on you, so next time you feel inclined to mess with them just feel how good it is to make someone homeless.

 

[ssgt splatter]

We have caller ID so we don't have to pick up the phone but I've always wanted to do this:
TM: Hello is this xxxxxxxxx?
Me: Maybe. Are you a tellamarketer?
TM: Yes.
Me: Ok then. F*** off.


But in all seriousness, just hang up on them or better yet if you have call ID don't answer the phone.

 

[cathou]

it depend on what they sell. i've been called a few times in a row for newspaper suscription, and the last time they call i start crying and yell ; but i cant read, why are you making fun of me !!

they never called back...

 

[ssgt splatter]

These people have an unimaginably crappy job and you're just making it worse. They can get fired for hanging up on you, so next time you feel inclined to mess with them just feel how good it is to make someone homeless.

Ok, I will. I'll just send them to South Park so the boys can deal with them...or Stan's dad with his shotgun can deal with them.

 

[Chipperz]

These people have an unimaginably crappy job and you're just making it worse. They can get fired for hanging up on you, so next time you feel inclined to mess with them just feel how good it is to make someone homeless.

Speaking as someone who did this job for six months, I couldn't disagree more. I found the people who tried funnier methods of getting rid of me were hilarious, qand a definite step up from the number of people who just yelled at me and told me they were going to kill my family (which happened several times).

Telemarketers are under no obligation to stay on the line to timewasters or people being abusive, so they won't lose their job to any of the suggestions right now. Might even get a laugh out of some of them. I have BT, so my phone just blocks unknown numbers anyway.

 

[Thedutchjelle]

Aw. Dutch law protects us from telemarketers - they've to say their name and company, but they are also required by law to tell that the person they called can be put on a permanent 'do-not-call-me-list'. If a company calls someone who's on the don't call list, they're fucked.

I fortunatly never get telemarketers (we have a private number, it's not accessible in the phonebook) on the phone, and if I would get one I would give the phone to my parents or when my parents are at work, tell the telemarketer that my parents aren't at home.

 

[Treblaine]

One thing you fail to realise is if you don't immediately hang up the phone... they have already won.

 

[JWAN]

"Oh shit, I was just going to try to sell YOU that! Isn't that funny? Go fuck yourself"

or put your phone number on a "no call list" then if they call you take them to court.

 

[muckinscavitch]

We just tell them that who ever they are calling for just passed away. They instantly get very sorry for calling and apologize perfusly and insist on taking us off their list.

 

[Zersy]

My Mom Will Argue the shit out of them.

My bro will Gangsta it out.

My Dad will Be polite.

My sis will just be cute.

Me, I don't get there calls anymore ;P

 

[JWAN]

These people have an unimaginably crappy job and you're just making it worse. They can get fired for hanging up on you, so next time you feel inclined to mess with them just feel how good it is to make someone homeless.

For the record, it feels GREAT.
They aren't going to get fired for hanging up on you if your abusive. Ever.

 

[Thisbedutch]

My dad pretends to be, in his words, "slow in the head". I just won't answer the phone if it's not a number I recognise, and if the number's withheld then I definitely don't answer the phone.

 

[A Pious Cultist]

I?ve been a sufferer of turrets syndrome (I don?t mean to offend anyone, as it is a serious mental illness)

"ArE YoU sTilL tHeRe?"
"ShuTiNg DoWn..."

 

[TheFacelessOne]

All great ideas, until recently, I just hung up.

BUT I AM SO TRYING SOME OF THESE NOW!

 

[Lost In The Void]

The best one had to be me and my cousin when we were about 12 years old. He picked up the phone, knowing it was a telemarketer and said in a quavering voice, "Mommy? Mommy is that you?"

The woman tried to get out of it, but then my cousin starting screaming, "Mommy I fell in the bathtub and I'm Dying! I'm Dying! Save me Mommy I can't get out and the water is everywhere MOMMY!"

She hung up