best way to propose...

[Vitamin T]

Dude, you need a lettuce leaf and a cuddle, not a wife right now.

i dont get the lettuce leaf thing...but cuddles are always good...


also, we've been together for like 3 yrs before the breakup.

and i was going to propose to her...it was never meant to be a permanent breakup...it was supposed to just give us a break...i wanted to marry her for...forever, we just hit some rough seas and i wanted a little room

i made a big mistake and if i dont get her back im seriously going to pay for it for the rest of my life.

Is this a serious question?...or is there some level of satirical intent here?

If it's the former, then to be honest proposing to her would be a bad idea. I would not suggest it but if you're set on trying then be honest and tell her how you feel or something. If she says no, well to be fair you've lost nothing and if she says yes you've gained a ball and chain.

*ahem* wife...I totally meant wife...*looks around shiftily*

However if it's the latter then do it in the most overblown way you can think of, get a huge bouquet of flowers, take her to a romantic secluded spot where you have a picnic (or a table, with candles, a hot meal (somehow?) preferably something you know she likes, a waiter too (some snooty looking dude?) and music playing in the background (something romantic?)) and then you get down on bended knee and you pull out the ring as the fireworks you set up beforehand go off spelling across the night sky "will you marry me?". Have a friend film it all or something so if she says yes, well congratulations and you now have a nice reminder of a nice moment in your life, if she says no then you push her face into the food and run away cackling like a maniac and watch the video at your leisure. Or send into 'You've Been Framed' or something.

Alternatively...hire a barbershop quartet to sing the question or something.

id love to do that.


but you must of missed the one ocean apart due to work bit.

im going on deployment soon too. and i really want me and her back before i leave

Well to be fair proposing down the phone or with a letter isn't really what you want to be doing. Call me old fashioned or whatever but I think proposals should be in person. First you have to get her to take you back, which is never a guarantee. I think in this situation all you can do right now is to talk to her about this, phone her seeing as you can't be there in person (what with being in a training cycle right before deployment) and make sure she understands that if you could be there in person having the conversation then you would be. Then tell her how you feel, tell her you made a mistake and that you've had time to think and clear your head and you're sorry. Tell her you'll come and see her as soon as you can and arrange some holiday time for the earliest moment if that's at all possible.

Then hope...hope to God she understands and forgives you.

She might never take you back dude...but it definitely sounds like you need some level of closure or you'll spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been.

And before you do any of that make sure you do actually feel about her the way you say you do or you could be making an even bigger mistake than the one you say you've already made. You could just be feeling the fear of having lost someone you care about a lot right now...might not necessarily be love. Love is confusing, it's worth making sure you know how you feel.

 

[vampirekid.13]

Ya know... I kind of had hope for you. Thinking that proposing to this chick would be a awesome way to fuck around with her current relationship but sadly no. Yet another guy who is whipped like the family pig.

The only advice you need. Get over it. She is already happily banging some other dude. You had your chance and blew it. There is no going back. She is probably banging her new BF right now.
Have a nice night.

you need to read the thread.


shes not in a real life relationship...its a guy she met online, that she has yet to meet in real life, he's in australia...shes in america. so i dont see it happening any time soon.


i will have a nice night thank you.


what kind of psychopath would propose to someone just to mess with their relationship.


if she says she doesnt want us 2 back together, ill ask her if shes happy where she is now, and if i get a yes ill be half happy at least

 

[vampirekid.13]

you need to read the thread.


shes not in a real life relationship...its a guy she met online, that she has yet to meet in real life, he's in australia...shes in america. so i dont see it happening any time soon.


i will have a nice night thank you.

Oops. My bad. Soo sorry.
In that case she is probably happily banging random dudes in her area then goes and chats to her BF online. Or hell, she could be banging dudes while chatting online.
Damn... this chick sounds awesome now.
Besides the opening post was misleading. You said she was in a relationship. Internet does not count at all. It never counts. Ever.

cant blame her, shes technically single....

 

[Cxizent]

meh, im just going crazy, we've been on no talking terms since may 18th at 7:02pm.

Firstly, what the fuck? The first words you want to say are a proposal?

[
and i was going to propose to her...it was never meant to be a permanent breakup...it was supposed to just give us a break...i wanted to marry her for...forever, we just hit some rough seas and i wanted a little room

Second of all, if you felt that you needed room away from her, then marriage doesn't seem like something that would suit your relationship.

Thirdly, if you're deploying soon, it's not going to work. If you can't handle the distance as it is, imagine being a newlywed that's been deployed out to wherever it is you youngsters get deployed nowadays.

Seriously, you need to re-assess why you want to propose to her. You cannot have always wanted to marry her and also have needed a break from her.

Pick up a phone or a webcam or whatever and talk to her before you even think of taking personal leave. If you're not even on speaking terms, you rocking up at her doorstep with a bouqet of flowers and a ring isn't going to help.

In all honesty, my guess would be that your only problem is that now someone else has her.

 

[Zacharine]

You're screwed man. You. Are. Screwed.

Talk to your captain ASAP, ask for personal leave, ask them if there is any way you could have the chance to meet her. If not, set up a live-video conference with your ex. The important bit here is that you need to talk to face to face. If it can't be done in-real-life as it were, do it via webcam. You clearly already have access to the internet.

webcam is definately do-able..well a lot more doable than real life at least.


meh, im just going crazy, we've been on no talking terms since may 18th at 7:02pm.

that is entirely way too long. i have nothing to look forward to w/o talking to her at the end of the day.

i dont even like WoW anymore..and i used to play that game every day...

FOOD HAS NO TASTE. im dead serious. im that depressed.

>.<

Then you need help. Talk to your company psy-therapist/priest/whoever professional in mental and emotional issues. Ask their advice. Talk to your ex, via phone or webcam. Don't propose to her unless in person and after you're back together, assuming she even want's you back. If you havent' talked to her for a few weeks, that's a long time for things to fester. You likely hurt her badly, understand that. If things do heal between the two of you, it will take time.

If she says it's over for good, you're done for. Cry a bit, talk with your mates, have a few nights out on town getting drunk, realize you aren't helping anyone by moping and get on with your life.

 

[Vitamin T]

Ya know... I kind of had hope for you. Thinking that proposing to this chick would be a awesome way to fuck around with her current relationship but sadly no. Yet another guy who is whipped like the family pig.

The only advice you need. Get over it. She is already happily banging some other dude. You had your chance and blew it. There is no going back. She is probably banging her new BF right now.
Have a nice night.

Sir...I draw your attention to the following sentence.

however my only hope is this. her "relationship" is mainly online. she hasnt met the guy irl yet.

How is she "banging" some guy she hasn't met in person yet? And it's quite mean-spirited telling a person who's quite obviously distraught to some level to give up hope. I'm assuming you don't know the lady in question so how do you know what she's doing or how she'll react. For all any of us know this "internet relationship" she's in at the moment is a distraction. I think he shouldn't give up hope until he has conclusively proven that she's not going to take him back

 

[TOGSolid]

This thread hurts my thread.

You're going to propose to your ex because NOW you realize you can't be without her?

Sounds like someone needs advice on a therapist rather than advice on how to go through with this. Seriously dude, get some professional help. Also, how old are you (yes, this question matters).

 

[vampirekid.13]

Cry a bit, talk with your mates, have a few nights out on town getting drunk, realize you aren't helping anyone by moping and get on with your life.

thats prolly whats going to happen if she says no...

How is she "banging" some guy she hasn't met in person yet? And it's quite mean-spirited telling a person who's quite obviously distraught to some level to give up hope. I'm assuming you don't know the lady in question so how do you know what she's doing or how she'll react. For all any of us know this "internet relationship" she's in at the moment is a distraction. I think he shouldn't give up hope until he has conclusively proven that she's not going to take him back

he's trying to be cool cuz he's on the internet.


i dont take unintelligent people that try to start flamewars to heart anyway

 

[Zacharine]

I do hope the best for you in this matter, but you need to talk to someone professional in these kinds of matter, then I'd say you need to talk to your ex. Slowly heal the relationship with her before even thinking of proposing her. And if you do propose, do it face to face and make sure you can stay with her instead of going back to where-ever you're deployed.

And by God, if this is only a jealousy issue, you will only end up hurting both her and yourself. Be sure you really love her before doing anything that might have repercussions.

I cannot repeat this enough, talk with a professional about this. They have met these kinds of situations before, they have training to understand the different sides about these things and if they're in the military they know the added difficulties.

 

[vampirekid.13]

[

You're an idiot. A monumental idiot.

So you had her and YOU broke up with her... And now, instead of talking to her, you're asking a gaming forum how to propose??

Spoiler: If what I'm inferring is not yet clear to you, here is a pointer:

Talk to HER, not us.

you know, i found out that sometimes an open discussion between complete strangers is a lot more effective than lets say a professional at my command.

or a real life friend.

or anything else, because this way i get a lot of opinions in a short amount of time, and evaluate their validity and have the freedom to make a choice on what is best, i also get to see which is most popular, and the whole time im anonymous so my command, my friends, my ex, dont know about all this yet, but im still getting good input.

 

[Zeramo]

Best way to do it in that situation.... DON'T. Unless you like feeling like a jackass.

I'll second that. She's in another relationship let her go. I don't want to sound too patronizing, but this will never end well for either of you

 

[asiepshtain]

to your exgirlfriend that is currently in a relationship.


well....im stumped, someone give me an idea.


oh yea, and we're an ocean apart atm....so that makes it even harder.

DO NOT FUCKING DO IT!

Marriage isn't a heal for a broken relationship and shouldn't even be on your scope at the moment.

What you should be asking yourself is "How do I fix this relationship", and as always there is only one answer to that question: You need to talk to her, web cam being a great option, and speak your feelings and desires, be upfront and honest and most importantly - know and accept that she might say no. Embrace the fact that it if she decides to end this relationship, eventually, it's her choice.

As for your depression, I would recommend speaking with a professional, especially knowing the extra stress of being in the army.

I wish you the best of luck. You seem to be honestly sorry and in love with her, I believe that if you can show her that, and if it's not to late, you'll get her back.

 

[stompythebeast]

wow...i wasted my time writing a nice heartfelt reply to this thread, only to read the comments above me...an internet relationship??? lol...go cry,emo kid

Look, im editing this, if your really are a soldier, you deserve my respect and my thanks for serving our country and your sacrifice allows us civvies to stay up to 5 am replying to random online forums. As i was going to say, you need to simply talk to her, if you cant do it in person do it with a camera, you need to see each other's faces. I went through something similar, i also felt like i needed some space, that never works with these evil incarnations of everything you want. Honestly, your in the "getting over her" phase, and she is lying about this relationship, if you two were serious, there is NO way she is with someone else, unless of course she is some *degrading slang for a hooker* and of course i dont want to call her that. If anything my friend, this time away from her during your deployment will help you get over her, since in order to get over someone you need to break all contact with the person. But again, i have a lot of friends that deployed to iraq, afghanistan and other hotspots, you need to get help before you deploy because it can really get worse over there if you leave with a really unstable mind( SPECIALLY DEPRESSION). The armed forces takes this very seriously, they will let you see a psychologist, just ask.

Again, sorry for what i said above, just leaving it there....
what ever you do, do not listen to "Sometime around midnight" by the Airborne Toxic Event, it will make you ball your eyes out, i do it everytime i go to the bar and the dj is stupid enough to listen to my request and not to my mates' advice otherwise

 

[vampirekid.13]

wow...i wasted my time writing a nice heartfelt reply to this thread, only to read the comments above me...an internet relationship??? lol...go cry,emo kid

what are you talking about?

no its not an internet relationship.

i know her in real life, we've been together, in the same town living until i joined the services, thats 3 years of real life relationship having between us.


i said that she is currently in an online relationship (WITH NOT ME)but i want her back...badly.


no, im not really worried about her online BF, its online LOL. so i dont think its even in the same league, im just worried how to approach her after the break up and everything.

 

[Cxizent]

Ya know... I kind of had hope for you. Thinking that proposing to this chick would be a awesome way to fuck around with her current relationship but sadly no. Yet another guy who is whipped like the family pig.

The only advice you need. Get over it. She is already happily banging some other dude. You had your chance and blew it. There is no going back. She is probably banging her new BF right now.
Have a nice night.

Sir...I draw your attention to the following sentence.

however my only hope is this. her "relationship" is mainly online. she hasnt met the guy irl yet.

How is she "banging" some guy she hasn't met in person yet? And it's quite mean-spirited telling a person who's quite obviously distraught to some level to give up hope. I'm assuming you don't know the lady in question so how do you know what she's doing or how she'll react. For all any of us know this "internet relationship" she's in at the moment is a distraction. I think he shouldn't give up hope until he has conclusively proven that she's not going to take him back

I don't think it's mean-spirited telling him to get over it - in fact, he's even posited that this will happen: Sir, I draw your attention to the following sentence

thats prolly whats going to happen if she says no...

I think that professional help would be the best, not the escapist.

 

[vampirekid.13]

Ya know... I kind of had hope for you. Thinking that proposing to this chick would be a awesome way to fuck around with her current relationship but sadly no. Yet another guy who is whipped like the family pig.

The only advice you need. Get over it. She is already happily banging some other dude. You had your chance and blew it. There is no going back. She is probably banging her new BF right now.
Have a nice night.

Sir...I draw your attention to the following sentence.

however my only hope is this. her "relationship" is mainly online. she hasnt met the guy irl yet.

How is she "banging" some guy she hasn't met in person yet? And it's quite mean-spirited telling a person who's quite obviously distraught to some level to give up hope. I'm assuming you don't know the lady in question so how do you know what she's doing or how she'll react. For all any of us know this "internet relationship" she's in at the moment is a distraction. I think he shouldn't give up hope until he has conclusively proven that she's not going to take him back

I don't think it's mean-spirited telling him to get over it - in fact, he's even posited that this will happen: Sir, I draw your attention to the following sentence

thats prolly whats going to happen if she says no...

I think that professional help would be the best, not the escapist.

misquote is misquoted! i said that "this is probably what will happen" to me getting wasted off bears and vodka with a few friends and getting over it when i realize im no good to anyone in that state. regarding her saying no to us getting back together.


on another note...shes a super good girl...like she wouldnt even take her top off for anyone she hasnt been with for at least 4 or more months. so im just loling at those comments seeing how shes the exact opposite.

 

[EeveeElectro]

Depression makes you do weird things because your heads so fucked up. Get on with your training then go back to her. If it's meant to happen, it'll happen.