Best Zero Punctuation Quote
- Thread starter TehIrishSoap
- Start date
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Castlevania review
"It's attempting to jump on a bandwagon so late that the band has completed 3 sellout world tours and sold their wagon to a scrap dealer"
"It's attempting to jump on a bandwagon so late that the band has completed 3 sellout world tours and sold their wagon to a scrap dealer"
"It's a bloated fractal spreadsheet nightmare."
"Castlevania: Boards of Plywood."
"Fortunately, you DO control someone else, or should I say, someone DOG."
"Castlevania: Boards of Plywood."
"Fortunately, you DO control someone else, or should I say, someone DOG."
Halo Wars
"As the exasperated Chinese zookeeper said to the last male panda on earth, FUCK THAT!"
"As the exasperated Chinese zookeeper said to the last male panda on earth, FUCK THAT!"
"War looks like the artist sat down, started drawing him, and never fucking stopped" - Darksiders
"There's the chump chop (square), the double chump chop (square square), or the genocide whip cream brouhaha (square square square)" - Darksiders
"I had to fight a giant slow-moving cowpat. Probably fitting for the very first tier, but I was beginning to think the game was making fun of me" - Demon's Souls
"Truly a game that kills you 20 minutes in and tells you you can have your health bar back once you proved you don't need it is a game that does not fuck around" - Demon's Souls
I'm going from memory so they may not be exact wording, but those are the quotes that sick out the most in my head and haven't been mentioned yet. Yahtzee has too many great lines for me to list all my favs.
"There's the chump chop (square), the double chump chop (square square), or the genocide whip cream brouhaha (square square square)" - Darksiders
"I had to fight a giant slow-moving cowpat. Probably fitting for the very first tier, but I was beginning to think the game was making fun of me" - Demon's Souls
"Truly a game that kills you 20 minutes in and tells you you can have your health bar back once you proved you don't need it is a game that does not fuck around" - Demon's Souls
I'm going from memory so they may not be exact wording, but those are the quotes that sick out the most in my head and haven't been mentioned yet. Yahtzee has too many great lines for me to list all my favs.
fav at the mo is from the fallout Nv review
"International law of go fuck yourself"
and all time Saints Row 2 the entire review, but this stands out,
"It's like wrestling a particularly excitable dog in a pool of decapitated breasts. Try not to read too much into that one."
"International law of go fuck yourself"
and all time Saints Row 2 the entire review, but this stands out,
"It's like wrestling a particularly excitable dog in a pool of decapitated breasts. Try not to read too much into that one."
My favorite quote is definitely.
"As the operator of a coin-operated artillery cannon might sarcastically shout at a fleeing army, you shouldn't be afraid of change."
"As the operator of a coin-operated artillery cannon might sarcastically shout at a fleeing army, you shouldn't be afraid of change."
"Fucking hell, did anyone see that? I'm squirting machismo out of my nipples over here. I am a monster truck that walks like a man!" - Darksiders
The only ZP quote that has ever had me pausing the video at headdesk-level laughter for over 60 seconds.
The only ZP quote that has ever had me pausing the video at headdesk-level laughter for over 60 seconds.
My utter favorite:
"The day I pay $70 for an expansion pack is the day I swallow razor wire, pull the end out of my ass and floss myself to death." (Guitar Hero 3: Warriors of Rock review)
Pure unadulterated win
Also, Yahtzee is the man responsible for me calling people "gormless fuckwits" and using the phrase "pants-on-head retarded" when pugging in WoW.
The "twing-twang" bit from the Heavenly Sword(s) demo review is a favorite of my entire family
"The day I pay $70 for an expansion pack is the day I swallow razor wire, pull the end out of my ass and floss myself to death." (Guitar Hero 3: Warriors of Rock review)
Pure unadulterated win
Also, Yahtzee is the man responsible for me calling people "gormless fuckwits" and using the phrase "pants-on-head retarded" when pugging in WoW.
The "twing-twang" bit from the Heavenly Sword(s) demo review is a favorite of my entire family
"In short, no. In long, noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo."
"I'm going to recount as much of the story as I can before my brain starts to hurt.
Solid Snake is a cloned mercenary suffering from premature aging due to an planned obsolesion scheme worthy of Mircosoft. He lives with his support character and 'Best Friend' Otacon and the two of them have adopted a child together. (That oozing sound you just heard was made by all of the world's homoerotic fanfiction writers simultainously emiting torrents of hot lady spunk.) ANYWAY, Solid Snake is tasked with the assassination of his evil twin brother who is dead, but lives on through his possessed arm which was grafted onto- OH CHRIST I CAN'T GO ON THIS SHIT IS BANANAS!"
"You know I miss the old Pacman style of gaming. Eat pills, avoid ghosts (only sometimes you can eat other pills and the ghosts too-AGH!!"
Solid Snake is a cloned mercenary suffering from premature aging due to an planned obsolesion scheme worthy of Mircosoft. He lives with his support character and 'Best Friend' Otacon and the two of them have adopted a child together. (That oozing sound you just heard was made by all of the world's homoerotic fanfiction writers simultainously emiting torrents of hot lady spunk.) ANYWAY, Solid Snake is tasked with the assassination of his evil twin brother who is dead, but lives on through his possessed arm which was grafted onto- OH CHRIST I CAN'T GO ON THIS SHIT IS BANANAS!"
"You know I miss the old Pacman style of gaming. Eat pills, avoid ghosts (only sometimes you can eat other pills and the ghosts too-AGH!!"