Calling out people who use "gay" as a pejorative term on Xbox Live

[solidstatemind]

You know, something else just occurred to me: the anonymity of the online environment actually works against you in this situation-- unless you have an XBL avatar or handle that has overtly homosexual overtones, you have absolutely no reason to reasonably assert that anyone you are in-game with is honestly making anti-homosexual statements by using the word 'Gay'.

For all you know, they could be using the word 'ghey'.

No, seriously, what I mean is simply this: any racial epithet/ethnic slur is only effective against said race/ethnicity. You call an Italian guy a 'limey bastard', he's only going to roll his eyes and think "whatever, weirdo." If some guy I just curb-stomped in Halo calls me 'gay', I'm going to roll my eyes and think "whatever, weirdo" because- since I'm not actually into guys- that insult is meaningless to me. So, unless you have given them some sort of clue that you're homosexual (I dunno, maybe you have a worse lisp than Damon Wayans?), there is no reason to think that the person was trying to offend you by using the word 'gay'.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that perhaps you should consider what your definitions of 'insult' and 'prejudice' are. Trust me, not to sound like a condescending jerk (but I'm sure I will anyway), a thick skin will probably serve you better throughout life than a desire to crusade.

 

[The Iron Ninja]

Really when will we get past this offense of the use of the word gay. It's like "retarded" or similar words. Just a pointless throwaway insult, gay=lame,noob,sucky,whatever. Language moves on for better or for worse, don't get hung up on some meaningless insult like it's the worst thing people can do.

THIS!

WITH ALL CAPS TO SHOW EMPHASIS FOR SOME REASON.
WHY AM I USING ALL CAPS?
I HATE ALL CAPS
THIS IS HORRIBLE

Adding to this, I would also say that rather than wasting our time trying to stop just one word the fucktards on live say, why don't we find a way to get the majority of them to stop talking completely?

 

[McClaud]

There just using it as a quick insult that requires little thought. They're not implying that being gay is an insult. The word itself has lost that meaning in this sense.

I see this argument a lot, and quite frankly, I don't get it. If someone throws around a word like "gay" as a casual insult, it's readily apparent that that person doesn't give a shit about the feelings of gay people.

Eh, I disagree. "Gay" - the word itself - has more meaning than just homosexual behavior. In fact, before the 1970's, the word was used a lot like "lame" was used in the 80's. It meant an attitude that expected the world to shit rainbows and rain pink hearts (an overly optimistic and naive attitude). It just transitioned to homosexual behavior because it went along with being slightly light in the loafers, as they'd say.

Now, "******" I won't tolerate, mostly because that's a derrogatory term used to describe people who engage in homosexual behavior. That's the same as using racist terms. It's not acceptable behavior in any means.

We usually imply that the person using the term is actually secretly having homosexual desires, and feels it is necessary to project on other people to try and hide it. This usually stops the use of "******" in our games because the person gets so flustered they shut up.

 

[Azeban]

I'm a teenager. My friends and I use it during informal conversation. It's just yet another definition to the word. Originally, gay meant happy. Then it meant homosexual. For today's young people, it means lame, and homosexuals are the farthest thing from my mind when I say it. People are way too sensitive. People in this thread are saying "Think how you'd feel if your racial/cultural epithet was used against you." But it's not being used that way. It's a different definition.

For example, my hair is black. Whoops, should I have said my hair is African American? I think not. The word black has different meanings.

 

[Shapsters]

Its not homophobia, its just being a dumbass

I don't think the two are mutually exclusive.

Actually they are, there so many people not even on Xbox live that use gay, it doesn't mean they are homophobes. How many people use the word ni**er? Does that make them racist? No, it makes them dumbasses.

 

[Shapsters]

Really when will we get past this offense of the use of the word gay. It's like "retarded" or similar words. Just a pointless throwaway insult, gay=lame,noob,sucky,whatever. Language moves on for better or for worse, don't get hung up on some meaningless insult like it's the worst thing people can do.

THIS!

WITH ALL CAPS TO SHOW EMPHASIS FOR SOME REASON.
WHY AM I USING ALL CAPS?
I HATE ALL CAPS
THIS IS HORRIBLE

Adding to this, I would also say that rather than wasting our time trying to stop just one word the fucktards on live say, why don't we find a way to get the majority of them to stop talking completely?

Like duct tape or something?

 

[Therumancer]

Free country, no law says you have to like homosexuals. Calling someone or something "Gay" is only an insult if both people involved don't like homosexuals and see something wrong with it.

Ultimatly their entitled to their opinion, and all the politically correct tirades in the world won't change that.

Where did I ever say that people don't have the right to say what they want to say?

Your the one running around XBL making a big deal out of it. The entire point of this post is your efforts to make people stop saying something you don't want them to say, and to justify your actions as being right and just.

Whether it's a hard (legal enforcement) or soft (social enforcement) censorship, it's still an attempt at censorship.

>>>----Therumancer--->

 

[Twilight_guy]

I would think that calling them out would just aggravate them and direct their hate squarely at you. Also, I doubt if you're going to change how they act with one simple pointing out of their stupidity. I support your cause, but I don't know how effective it will be.

 

[EzraPound]

I don't think we need to be too politically correct about this - people who dislike homosexuals are entitled to their opinions, and, I think, the right to use the word "gay" pejoratively, as surely as the political process of the United States accomodates said views. Still, it's not a very charming attribute, and should be dealt with where such behaviour becomes especially inflammatory or verbally abusive.

 

[Xvito]

Really when will we get past this offense of the use of the word gay. It's like "retarded" or similar words. Just a pointless throwaway insult, gay=lame,noob,sucky,whatever. Language moves on for better or for worse, don't get hung up on some meaningless insult like it's the worst thing people can do.

THIS!

WITH ALL CAPS TO SHOW EMPHASIS FOR SOME REASON.
WHY AM I USING ALL CAPS?
I HATE ALL CAPS
THIS IS HORRIBLE

Adding to this, I would also say that rather than wasting our time trying to stop just one word the fucktards on live say, why don't we find a way to get the majority of them to stop talking completely?

Like duct tape or something?

More like a tactical nuke.

Also, I couldn't agree more with sneakypenguin.

 

[Antiparticle]

Yesterday in Gears of War 2 some kid who couldn't have been more than 13 years old called all the other players "homo n*****s" because the gametype he voted for didn't win. It was so ridiculous it was almost funny again. I still gave him negative feedback, of course.
I don't understand how so many little kids can be playing a game like GoW2 anyway, what are their parents doing?? Do they have totally no idea what their kids are playing, or worse still, do they just not give a damn? That is not ok!

 

[benwins]

Off subject kinda here:

I'm all for gays as long as they don't talk about anything near me.
Because although gays are becoming more accepted it still doesn't make sticking things up mens ***es normal.

how is it any different then sticking thing up chicks rumps?

Ummm because women are the species we have sex with to make babies. Therefore we are made with the purpose to do this.
We are not made with the desire to "stick things up mens rumps"

you think anal sex makes babies? god help the mother of YOUR would-be children

 

[Cpt_Oblivious]

From what I've seen XBL is just the breeding ground of idiots anyway.

 

[karmapolizei]

Off subject kinda here:

I'm all for gays as long as they don't talk about anything near me.
Because although gays are becoming more accepted it still doesn't make sticking things up mens ***es normal.

'Normal' is a pretty useless category here. Being humans, sex is much less of a procreative activity than it is a cultural technique. That makes every consensual sexual practice pretty much 'normal', because it's actually the variety of different things in a population that could be called 'normal', if anything. That said, I'll stop to comment on the stupid oozing out of various holes in your post.

The point is, I'm wondering if my new approach would be a good way to reduce the bigotry on Xbox Live. If everyone who is offended by racism, homophobia, and the like on Live spoke up, the bigots might not feel comfortable spouting their nonsense.

I sure hope it is. It doesn't even matter if some people ignore you - the simple fact that they get a reaction saying 'It's not OK' is already a good thing, ESPECIALLY for the demographic we're talking about.
But I applaud you takin the lengths to do it no matter what. Way to go!

Oh, and footnote with a nice song title: 'If by "gay", you mean 'absolutely freaking awesome', then yeah, I guess it's pretty gay' (Des Ark).

 

[boomo_lao]

Calling people out on live seems like a serious waste of time, just mute or whatever, don't humor kids and assholes, it's not really helping anything. Use party chat if you want to speak with your friends, you usually gain nothing from speaking with random people in games anyway, ignoring tactics and other useful stuff. You only get kids that screams in your fucking ear.

 

[sirdanrhodes]

Xbox Live + Moron + The knowledge you will never see this person in real life = Homophobic tosser.

 

[rossatdi]

I could honestly care less. Gay for the youth is interchangeable with lame.

This. The word has morphed.

The exception would of course be the blatant accusations of actually being gay, which I don't think any amount of PR is going to stop, at least not in our lifetimes.

Men are going to associate gayness with a lack of masculinity. Accusing a man of not being masculine is a time honoured insult. Lest we not forget that even if the ancient Greek tradition it was seen as unmanly to be on the receiving end, which is why it tended to be older men with younger men, who would then grow up and move on.

Aristophanes, the 'great' comic playwright of Athens, was constantly cracking jokes passed on the pitch of a man's farts and the assumptions one could draw from it. (I swear to god I'm not making that up, gay jokes are at least 400 years older than Christ).

 

[S.H.A.R.P.]

"Gay" used to mean "happy".

Then the meaning slowly transformed and "gay" meant "homosexual". During this time, older generations still referred to "gay" as "happy" but younger people used it to mean a homosexual person.

Now we're in another transition phase where "gay" still means "homosexual" to the older generations but means "lame" or "stupid" to younger folks. It doesn't really have much to do with homosexuality anymore.

Whenever someone on a game starts calling me a "gay noob" I like to remind then that statistically, most noobs are actually heterosexual.

Thanks for pointing this out! I suggest that we all unite, completing the cycle by using the word gay to refer to happiness again! All this gaiety is making me gay!

Main Entry: gay
Part of Speech: adjective
Definition: happy
Synonyms: alert, animate, animated, blithe, blithesome, bouncy, brash, carefree, cheerful, cheery, chipper*, chirpy, confident, convivial, devil-may-care*, festive, forward, frivolous, frolicsome, fun-loving, gamesome, glad, gleeful, hilarious, insouciant, jocund, jolly, jovial, joyful, joyous, keen, lighthearted, lively, merry, mirthful, playful, pleasure-seeking, presuming, pushy, rollicking, self-assertive, sparkling, spirited, sportive, sprightly, sunny, vivacious, wild, zippy*
Antonyms: depressed, discouraged, sad, unhappy, upset, worried


On topic: I only play on PC, and for some reason the players seem a bit more mature (considering all the annoyance generally displayed at XBOX live), and I don't experience all this misuse of terms there that often.

 

[minarri]

Off subject kinda here:

I'm all for gays as long as they don't talk about anything near me.
Because although gays are becoming more accepted it still doesn't make sticking things up mens ***es normal.

how is it any different then sticking thing up chicks rumps?

Ummm because women are the species we have sex with to make babies. Therefore we are made with the purpose to do this.
We are not made with the desire to "stick things up mens rumps"

I'm amused that someone called you out on your faulty logic, but I'm surprised that nobody realized that you identified us women as a species separate from that of men. Look I don't know what species of primates you fornicate with, but last I checked men and women both are Homo sapiens.

 

[Dangerious P. Cats]

Ummm because women are the species we have sex with to make babies. Therefore we are made with the purpose to do this.
We are not made with the desire to "stick things up mens rumps"

Homosexuality has been observed in the vast majority of animal species, even in things like insects. There are even some species where scientists have only observed homosexual sex. Given how common it is in animals I would suggest that it would be considerably unlikely that homosexuality was not natural in humans.

Also sex occurs for more reasons that procreation. It's a social expression of considerable affection for example, why else would humans engage in such a wide variety of sexual acts, many of which cannot result in pregnancy.