Cheating on People
- Thread starter VanityGirl
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You have to understand that we live in a society that sees romance and sex as nothing more than a pastime, something we do to entertain ourselves. I personally think this is a sick, twisted mindset, but this is how today's world looks at it. That's one of the main reasons I'm decidedly more old-fashioned in my beliefs on love, sex, and dating: I think love is far too valuable to be toyed with, so it works out a lot better if you handle it more carefully than our culture is constantly telling us.
I never cheated myself but i did huhhh... "go out" with a girl that was in a long-term couple before.I rationalized it saying she knows what she's doing and I am not doing anything wrong (might be a bit flaky but whatever...)
At the risk of sounding very twisted, it added a little bit of "forbidden fruit" to the thing...
At the risk of sounding very twisted, it added a little bit of "forbidden fruit" to the thing...
I've been cheated on... by my wife.
It's really a long and complicated story, but I have yet to feel a worse feeling than the moment I found out. Nothing quite like being betrayed by the person you were supposed to trust the most.
I never once considered cheating on her and now that I know how it makes one feel, I could never cause someone else to feel that pain.
Those who willingly cheat... I find it rather disgusting and they should morally examine themselves. There is never a good and or valid excuse.
My advice for those who have been cheated on? Forgive them.
It's really a long and complicated story, but I have yet to feel a worse feeling than the moment I found out. Nothing quite like being betrayed by the person you were supposed to trust the most.
I never once considered cheating on her and now that I know how it makes one feel, I could never cause someone else to feel that pain.
Those who willingly cheat... I find it rather disgusting and they should morally examine themselves. There is never a good and or valid excuse.
My advice for those who have been cheated on? Forgive them.
This, except it was a steady BF and I do regret it. Cause she was my first. Good fucking lord do I regret it. I personally am a one woman kinda guy, to the point that a threesome seems unappealing to me. I generally have to trust someone alot to go that far with them, so I doubt I would ever cheat. That and I have a really low sex drive.Amnestic said:
Edit: The guy threatened to kill me over it too, at least I think that was the source of the hostility with him. Little hard to tell since he was an utter **** before I slept with his girlfriend.
I don't like cheating, though I did pull a stunt like two and a half men(the one with the kid) where I had a completely idiotic girlfriend that I loved, but I had a friend who just happened to be a girl who I could have an intelligent conversation with.
I am not that desperate after sex to cheat on someone. I have never been on a relationship but I have had the feeling of being committed to another person and I really really love that feeling. If my girlfriend cheated on me, I would be sad cause it is only natural. If she ended up with another guy, I would like to know if he sees her as I saw her. If he doesn't, it is her problem. If he does, happy for her.
It's wrong, if you can't overcome the most basic needs you might as well throw yourself off the nearest bridge. If a relationship is not going well make that clear, don't leave it so that your partner finds out in the worst way possible.
What is wrong with cheating is the lies to the other part in the relationship, not that one chooses another partner - It's a free world. It's perfectly OK to be with another man/woman if one is married or in a relationship, as long as the other part in it is told of the "infedelity" at first chance. Then he/she can openly decide how to deal with the fact, and wheather to stay in or leave the relationship/marriage as he/she sees fit.
We are all free men/women, our partners do not "own" us like slaves, and so long as everything is laid bare, I can see no problem in breaking off a relationship by jumping another man/woman (or staying in it with an unfaithful partner if that is ones choice). I would not blame a girlfriend who found another man more attractive, as long as she immidiately told me, at which point. This would make her life better, and allow me to choose to "better" myself - or leave and find a woman who my current self would truly satisfy.
We are all free men/women, our partners do not "own" us like slaves, and so long as everything is laid bare, I can see no problem in breaking off a relationship by jumping another man/woman (or staying in it with an unfaithful partner if that is ones choice). I would not blame a girlfriend who found another man more attractive, as long as she immidiately told me, at which point. This would make her life better, and allow me to choose to "better" myself - or leave and find a woman who my current self would truly satisfy.
I disapprove. If you're not happy with your lot, the relationship needs to end. But cheating is a bad idea. It's childish.
Also, I'm too fugly to even consider messing up a relationship >,>
Also, I'm too fugly to even consider messing up a relationship >,>
Define cheating.
I think it's completely reasonable to be dating multiple women at the same time. It's even reasonable to have been dating a single girl for quite a while and still date others every now and then.
Should you hide this from any of them? Absolutely not.
I even believe it's perfectly alright to date some other people even when you have a girlfriend. Just tell all of them.
For instance, my girlfriend was out of town and I had a formal for an organization I'm a part of. So, what did I do? I asked the next hottest chick I knew to go to it with me. She accepted and I told my girlfriend that I was taking so-and-so to formal with me. No big deal.
Afterwards girlfriend asked me if I had kissed other girl and I told her yes. She didn't care.
In the end I think not being honest about your actions is what "cheating" really is. If you have to hide your actions from someone you love, then your probably shouldn't be doing it.
To clarify, don't run around having sex with random people if you have a long-term relationship. But, dating others during a long-term relationship is acceptable. Just don't engage in intercourse with people other than the person your in the long-term relationship with.
Though once you get engaged/married it's game over. No more dating of others ever.
I think it's completely reasonable to be dating multiple women at the same time. It's even reasonable to have been dating a single girl for quite a while and still date others every now and then.
Should you hide this from any of them? Absolutely not.
I even believe it's perfectly alright to date some other people even when you have a girlfriend. Just tell all of them.
For instance, my girlfriend was out of town and I had a formal for an organization I'm a part of. So, what did I do? I asked the next hottest chick I knew to go to it with me. She accepted and I told my girlfriend that I was taking so-and-so to formal with me. No big deal.
Afterwards girlfriend asked me if I had kissed other girl and I told her yes. She didn't care.
In the end I think not being honest about your actions is what "cheating" really is. If you have to hide your actions from someone you love, then your probably shouldn't be doing it.
To clarify, don't run around having sex with random people if you have a long-term relationship. But, dating others during a long-term relationship is acceptable. Just don't engage in intercourse with people other than the person your in the long-term relationship with.
Though once you get engaged/married it's game over. No more dating of others ever.
I've never cheated on anyone.
I've also never been cheated on. (I have had a girl sleep with other guys when she was my girlfriend, but that girl was a prostitute by occupation and she was doing it as part of her work and I entered into the relationship knowing that that would happen, so I don't think that really counts.)
I have however been the "third party" - the person who someone else cheats on their partner with. It was a very awkward situation and one that I'm not keen to repeat. Having to keep things secretive was a real pain, because when I'm with someone I like, I prefer people to know about it. I'm also quite honest by nature so it's really hard for me to lie to people, however, when you enter into an "affair" type of situation then lies kind of go with the territory. The whole thing made me feel weird and I was semi-glad when it was over.
I've also never been cheated on. (I have had a girl sleep with other guys when she was my girlfriend, but that girl was a prostitute by occupation and she was doing it as part of her work and I entered into the relationship knowing that that would happen, so I don't think that really counts.)
I have however been the "third party" - the person who someone else cheats on their partner with. It was a very awkward situation and one that I'm not keen to repeat. Having to keep things secretive was a real pain, because when I'm with someone I like, I prefer people to know about it. I'm also quite honest by nature so it's really hard for me to lie to people, however, when you enter into an "affair" type of situation then lies kind of go with the territory. The whole thing made me feel weird and I was semi-glad when it was over.