Cheating on People

[RagingScottsman]

Wait until you see where life takes you.

I could not agree more with this statement.

 

[Lysserd]

You must recognise some things here, unwashed masses. There are men who don't cheat and cheat on principle. Those who don't are cool, those who do are useless slime. But there is a third party. Some men have an absolutely INCREDIBLE sex-drive. As in, nigh insatiable. Those men are faced with the difficulty of wanting to have a jolly time with any appealing woman they see.
Some men see to this issue themselves (cough).
Some others wind up outside the relationship, not really on purpose.
I'm still waiting for science to make a pill for this. "Libido-Smasher XL! It'll tone you down like the application of a sledgehammer, but with none of the pain! signuptodayonly19easypaymentsof99.99."

 

[RagingScottsman]

You must recognise some things here, unwashed masses. There are men who don't cheat and cheat on principle. Those who don't are cool, those who do are useless slime. But there is a third party. Some men have an absolutely INCREDIBLE sex-drive. As in, nigh insatiable. Those men are faced with the difficulty of wanting to have a jolly time with any appealing woman they see.
Some men see to this issue themselves (cough).
Some others wind up outside the relationship, not really on purpose.
I'm still waiting for science to make a pill for this. "Libido-Smasher XL! It'll tone you down like the application of a sledgehammer, but with none of the pain! signuptodayonly19easypaymentsof99.99."

Lord, how I looooooove the self-righteous. They're the best to watch have life humble them.

 

[garjian]

I dont see why people arent allowed to love, or even be attracted to, more than one person...
...my relationships have always been either open, or very short...

then again, i am the most unromantic, uncaring and unemotional person i know of...
when i see my friends with their partners... i never understand why theyre so clingy, or how they cant stand each other...
they can barely stop hugging, yet alone stop talking about each other... gets on my nerves...
then when it all goes wrong... theyre crying for 9 days... why? what did you want to happen?
you wanted to perform an outdated religious sacrament and live happily ever after? usually the answer's no...

so... by the time my generic lovey-dovey gf/bf's realise this they go onto their little speech... and it always seems to suprise people that i actually dont care... even though thats what theyre complaining about lol...
...then i get 10,000 facebook notifications from their friends telling me im horrible :\

sooooo... no... i cant see a problem with it...
id say telling someone that theyre the only person youll ever be able to love, and the only person youll ever be attracted to... is a bit... ambitious...

 

[Laura.]

So everyone chilling out, saying you can't talk to or look the cheater in the eyes, or saying you'd never in your life, chill out. Wait until you see where life takes you.

My first boyfriend cheated on me and I found out 3 months later. I dumped him right away. He didn't come all teary eyed sobbing because of what he had done, he hid it from me and carried on as if nothing had happened (which -from what I've heard- is what happens usually). Finding out he had cheated on me made me feel really bad, it was one of the worse moments in my entire life and even today I don't like thinking about it. He sure deserved worse than just being dumped, and 4 years later I still think he is the lowest kind of scum.

Also, to all those who say "cheating isn't that bad, it's an impulse, it's just sex", think of the other person: do they think like that too? Because most people don't, and they are the ones getting hurt if you do that. And good luck trying to find a partner who will be cool with it :/

 

[johnman]

At the moment it would be a mircle if I had the balls to ask this one girl out, let alone get two at the same time.

 

[Bailos]

So everyone chilling out, saying you can't talk to or look the cheater in the eyes, or saying you'd never in your life, chill out. Wait until you see where life takes you.

My first boyfriend cheated on me and I found out 3 months later. I dumped him right away. He didn't come all teary eyed sobbing because of what he had done, he hid it from me and carried on as if nothing had happened (which -from what I've heard- is what happens usually). Finding out he had cheated on me made me feel really bad, it was one of the worse moments in my entire life and even today I don't like thinking about it. He sure deserved worse than just being dumped, and 4 years later I still think he is the lowest kind of scum.

Also, to all those who say "cheating isn't that bad, it's an impulse, it's just sex", think of the other person: do they think like that too? Because most people don't, and they are the ones getting hurt if you do that. And good luck trying to find a partner who will be cool with it :/

I WAS a person on the otherside, thank you. I've been cheated on several times, so please don't act like I don't see where you're coming from.

 

[old account]

This situation I had was kinda a lol. I was dating this girl who for the past week started acting different towards me, mad I guess because I couldn't go to her birthday party or what-not. So she went on my computer and downloaded some songs to my playlist. Now that doesn't sound bad, but the songs she downloaded were songs like 'I'm a *****' and some song by Cute is What We Aim For about liking this 'other guy'. I didn't get the hint until the next week, when this rumor started going around that I cheated on her when she was on vacation. This was impossible for two reasons, one: I would never cheat on a person (unless the person is looking for open relationships), and two: I was with my friend the entire week, and he would have known if I randomly had a girl in his room.
Well to make a long story short, it turns out that she was actually cheating on me, never went on vacation but was seeing this other guy, made a fake myspace to spread the rumor that I was cheating on her so she could break up with me guilt free and not look like a ***** to her friends (who were actually my friends that she now stoled from me).
Its been around three years since this happened and I love her for this. She went through so much planing to make me confused and ruin my reputation with any other girl in the area or anyone she could get to know. I can;t believe it worked and I will forever love her for her success.
What sucks is that I may have taught her these types of tricks to get out of situations, but never thought it would used against me. *Laughs historically at the ironic situations laid before him*

 

[RagingScottsman]

At the moment it would be a mircle if I had the balls to ask this one girl out, let alone get two at the same time.

I believe two girls at one time is a different thread. That also usually requires more alcohol to be involved than bravery.

 

[Lysserd]

You must recognise some things here, unwashed masses. There are men who don't cheat and cheat on principle. Those who don't are cool, those who do are useless slime. But there is a third party. Some men have an absolutely INCREDIBLE sex-drive. As in, nigh insatiable. Those men are faced with the difficulty of wanting to have a jolly time with any appealing woman they see.
Some men see to this issue themselves (cough).
Some others wind up outside the relationship, not really on purpose.
I'm still waiting for science to make a pill for this. "Libido-Smasher XL! It'll tone you down like the application of a sledgehammer, but with none of the pain! signuptodayonly19easypaymentsof99.99."

Lord, how I looooooove the self-righteous. They're the best to watch have life humble them.

Sir, you shall forever be my example .... People on Escapist forums REALLY know how to spell! I mean, it's downright shocking! I've never seen so many grammatically correct people on a forum before. Kudos and well done, seriously.

 

[Laura.]

I WAS a person on the otherside, thank you. I've been cheated on several times, so please don't act like I don't see where you're coming from.

I'm not. I'm just saying I DID see where life took me, and it wasn't nice. Not everyone can forgive and forget.

Also:
To further explain my point of view: When I get in a relationship there's this implicit rule that says "you will not nail someone else", just like there's one that says "you will not beat the shit out of your partner". Sure, there's thousands of women who forgive their abusive husbands, but it's still not right.(granted, domestic violence is worse than infidelity, but it was an analogy). Then if you go and have sex with someone else that means that you decided the most intimate part of a relationship was meaningless and was only physical pleasure, which could as well be found somewhere else. If you don't think that could hurt your partner there's definitely something wrong with you.

 

[old account]

.

 

[Captain Pancake]

If I was lucky enough to make it with a girl that I liked, I wouldn't ruin it by doing something stupid like that. It's not often that I attract the attention of somebody, and I've cocked it up before. So no, I wouldn't do that, I'd be cheating myself as well.

 

[Bourne Endeavor]

Eh, i have accepted that the impulse to cheat is purely a biological urge that is part of our genetic program.

I think every male has the urge to screw the living daylights out of anything that moves purely to procreate. We want to spread our seed as far and as fast as possible.

I suppose I have faulty wiring if this is ever proven an accurate statement because I have had exceptionally little interest in sex it would baffle your mind. Before it is mentioned in some inane attempt at a put down (not directed at you mate) I haven't a single qualm getting a date if I ever so choose. It has essentially been placed upon the back burner in my life for a variety of reasons.

While it may be amazing or beyond possible to some, not all of us males are sex crazed fiends.

On a slightly different note. A large proportion of you seem hurt and untrustworthly of a cheater. I don't see how you can never trust them again. It's something they did but never trusting them again isn't going to solve the problem. Move on or get over it. Otherwise you get trapped in a relationship which is nothing but fear that they'll hurt you again.

If I was ever subjected to being cheated upon. I would handle it in the same manner I would any other break up. I would shrug it off without a second consideration, end it at that moment if she had yet to do so and walk away. I am not one to hold grudges however I cannot see any association thereafter on the simply notion I lack a reason to speak with that person again.

Would I be upset? Honestly, perhaps however I handle such things much differently then most and can easily claim I would not be heartbroken, nor would I lose any sleep over it. I suppose it is my apathetic nature toward relationships that enters itself into play. For whatever reason I do not see the point in force a depression upon myself when there is nothing that would amount from doing so. Why wallow over a lost cause? It will solve nothing and waste my time.

PS: If you're going to be a dick and not add to discussion, then don't post.

I won't be a dick, but I will however do something similar and play devil's advocate. Given the nature of the topic, doing such is rather invaluable. Otherwise you'll end up with three pages of people saying that cheating is bad (which we already know to be true).

I will simply say that I have cheated once, only once, and never shall again. I had been with my girlfriend for a year and a half, and was seeing several changes in her that were quite frankly unacceptable. So for comfort and advice I turned to my best friend, who just so happened to be a very attractive young lady, and who also happened to be my girlfriend's best friend. My friend's suggestion was a seemingly innocent enough trip out of state for the weekend. Well after a day and a few glasses of wine I foolishly chose to accept an advancement from my friend. Understand, that I had already decided to break up with my current girlfriend, this happened after the fact and had no bearing on my choice. Anyway, we finished up our alone time and headed back home, my hand in hers the whole way, feeling happier than I had in almost a year.

I'll spare everyone and cut the last bit short. Basically, the very day we got back home, we got caught by my girlfriend. After that, my new relationship only lasted a few short months before I found out that she was cheating on me. Big shock, right? Oh, well. Best I can do now is chalk it up as a lesson learned.

To summerize, VG, I would say that sometimes it's out of desperation. I felt the pressure from a bad relationship and made some very poor choices; choices that I assure you I never thought I would make.

There are scenarios in which I can almost believe a justification for cheating and you mate fall into that category. There are times when being faithful has the appearance of a prison cell and whilst you attempt to endure, praying, believing it must improve. That opportunity to have one pure enjoyable night, however wrong it may be can overwhelm whatever sense of moral/justice you have.

Hence the reason I cannot nor will I condemn a cheater until I have the full story in play. An example I know of first hand was a former co-worker of my mother who remained with his girlfriend for the long haul despite her demanding him home at a specific time for no actual reason, belittling him to him and friends of his, harassing him when he was not home and the list was a mile long. He cheated eventually and yet stayed with her slightly longer because of his children.

****

To answer the topic personally. No I would not cheat, I would rather end the relationship as a show of respect for a feeling that at one time was mutual. That said I would not allow myself in the scenario where I continuously try to mend a broken relationship that would progress to cheating potentially. I would walk out long before.

Edit: Oh and no I would not sleep with a person already in a relationship. If they are willing to cheat with you, they are willing to cheat on you.

 

[Erana]

Yea, I've cheated before in the past. In my defense I'm young. So my relationships are mainly based off looks and liking their personality just a little. I've never been caught. The girls that I am in a relationship usually go to my school, while girls I have a fling with go to another school where I have friends at.

Anyway, I don't care much for cheating, because again I'm young.

You keep going, "I'm young," but if you're really young enough to use that as a defense, then should you really be in relationships at all?
And what about the possibility of disease? I mean, with kids that young and sexually active, I don't think they'd stop to inform you of any STDs...

Anyway, I don't like cheating. I really don't. If you ever did cheat, I hope it goes down like it did in the Sex and the City movie-
really the only time, real or fictional, that I've ever seen where I was OK with them staying together.

 

[Zaksav91]

Well when I was in high school (last year) it was the cool thing to get with every girl in the school. I could of easily done it, because all the girls wanted to jump my bones. But I picked the girl who I knew wasn't a slut and someone who would make a good partner for a long time if not forever, and would stay faithful. Eh, I guess I'm just a hopeless romantic in that way. Oh and I hate cheating, everyone that does it are dicks and need to think about the person that they are crushing emotionally. It's a selfish act in my mind.

 

[johnman]

I believe two girls at one time is a different thread. That also usually requires more alcohol to be involved than bravery.

I ment that it would be amazing for me to get a girl in the first place, let alone be able to cheat on someone

 

[Malkavian]

I've cheated on, and been cheated on.

It is one of the most awful things you can do to a partner, and I am not proud of having done it.

 

[Pimppeter2]

Yea, I've cheated before in the past. In my defense I'm young. So my relationships are mainly based off looks and liking their personality just a little. I've never been caught. The girls that I am in a relationship usually go to my school, while girls I have a fling with go to another school where I have friends at.

Anyway, I don't care much for cheating, because again I'm young.

You keep going, "I'm young," but if you're really young enough to use that as a defense, then should you really be in relationships at all?
And what about the possibility of disease? I mean, with kids that young and sexually active, I don't think they'd stop to inform you of any STDs...

Anyway, I don't like cheating. I really don't. If you ever did cheat, I hope it goes down like it did in the Sex and the City movie-
really the only time, real or fictional, that I've ever seen where I was OK with them staying together.

Yea, but my "relationships" last what? A couple months at best? Like I said, I just wanna have fun. I'm 16, and I would be lying if I said any of my relationships weren't heavily based on sex.

 

[2012 Wont Happen]

People that cheat are weak, pathetic motherfuckers.

End of story