Cheating on People

[Haunted Serenity]

On a slightly different note. A large proportion of you seem hurt and untrustworthly of a cheater. I don't see how you can never trust them again. It's something they did but never trusting them again isn't going to solve the problem. Move on or get over it. Otherwise you get trapped in a relationship which is nothing but fear that they'll hurt you again.

 

[101194]

I said this in the last thread about cheating, Roses are Red, Violets are blue, ***** if you cheat on me I'll F@#$%ing kill you.

Poetry is the only was to keep them loving and faithful don'tcha think?

 

[Gingerman]

I think cheating is a bad thing to do to another person. I for one would never want to cheat on my current girlfriend as I do love her. But what I have to say is how narrow minded people are being about cheating its not all black and white how do you know what is going on in their minds? In the past I had one girl trying to jump my bones because she thought her boy friend didn't love her any more but she didn't want to brake it off, I personally would think she is making a mistake (hence why I didn't carry it out) but I wouldn't think she was a bad person for trying she is merely being human trying to find comfort and validate herself as she felt abandoned by the man she loved.

Anyone who preaches hell and damnation for people who cheat have no right to be in a relationship, if your not ready to forgive your loved one for a mistake then your loved one is better off without you. Now notice how I said mistake, there is a big diffrence between that and doing it while thinking purposely.

Well thats how I see it anyway.

 

[HerrBobo]

Have done it, would not do it again. One word; guilt.

 

[Smudge91]

I hate cheating and would never do it and haven't done it on any of my bf's.

 

[oppp7]

No, I'm not saying polygamy is ok. Insincts should be overlooked and overcome in most cases.

Why? Not saying I don't agree, just curious as to why it should be the right thing to do to go against the way we are "programmed".

It depends on the instinct. The polygamy instinct I discribed makes males devalue females, and therefore it should be eliminated. Also, mercy isn't really a "natural" instinct. Animals are programmed to only have the will to survive, not worry about other creatures. But since surviving is so damn easy for humans, we get to ignore normal instincts to overlook people and instead help them.

 

[RagingScottsman]

On a slightly different note. A large proportion of you seem hurt and untrustworthly of a cheater. I don't see how you can never trust them again. It's something they did but never trusting them again isn't going to solve the problem. Move on or get over it. Otherwise you get trapped in a relationship which is nothing but fear that they'll hurt you again.

I somewhat agree. I suppose I'm mostly of the nature where I'm fully aware of my glass house, as such hurling boulders doesn't usually appeal to me. Cheating is not ok; that I will agree with. But this idea that all people who have ever cheated are absolute scum is nonsense. There honestly are just some situations where NOT cheating should earn you a fucking congressional medal of honor.

 

[Archemetis]

I've been cheated on OH so many times.
And i've admittedly done it myself, but I'd like it known that as much as I don't condone cheating on either end of it.

The people I personally cheated on, really fucking deserved it.
(mainly because they were the ones that did it to me.)

it's petty revenge at best, but at the end of the day, why should I consistantly remain faithful to people who've proven themselves incapable of doing it for me?

So, yeah I've cheated, I never liked doing it, I honestly felt horrid every second of when I was doing it, but it was the only way the idiots who did it to me were gonna realise what they'd done.

Just simply breaking up with them isn't enough for a lesson to be learned.

But whilst in a committed relationship, If both parties are mutually faithful then there's no reason for it to happen and when it does I wanna give the guilty party a solid kicking.

 

[VanityGirl]

I just find cheating hard to understand. If you can't commit to a peron, then don't just run around, break up and then just go have random flings if that's your thing.

I really hate to be harsh, but if I was ever going to cheat on a girl like that it'd probably be because I know that they'd react totally psychotic if I told them I was breaking up with them. Maybe he just thought you'd go nuts or something 0.o

Nah, he knew better. I was never the psycho kind, he knew some of my previous boyfriends and they all sang songs of praise about me. I'm actually quite understanding. I'd be upset, but going's nuts is for fools.

 

[CIA]

It's just sex, but don't worry, Frieda Kahlo didn't get it for a long time either.

Relationships are about more than physical intimacy. Sex is not the ultimate show of affection. If you want to show affection, do it by being intellectually and emotionally available, not by being ready to fuck at the drop of a hat. Cheating is just a quest for pleasure, often without any deep meaning, so it is less important than real connection and understanding between two people.

Fucking somebody does not show you care, it shows that you think they are physically attractive.

 

[Haunted Serenity]

On a slightly different note. A large proportion of you seem hurt and untrustworthly of a cheater. I don't see how you can never trust them again. It's something they did but never trusting them again isn't going to solve the problem. Move on or get over it. Otherwise you get trapped in a relationship which is nothing but fear that they'll hurt you again.

I somewhat agree. I suppose I'm mostly of the nature where I'm fully aware of my glass house, as such hurling boulders doesn't usually appeal to me. Cheating is not ok; that I will agree with. But this idea that all people who have ever cheated are absolute scum is nonsense. There honestly are just some situations where NOT cheating should earn you a fucking congressional medal of honor.

Yeah boulders make such unsightful cracks. I do understand how people get hurt, but if you let it control your life than all you will feel is pain.

Totally agree with the last part though. When do i get my medals?

 

[Kaboose the Moose]

I never understood the psychology behind cheating. If you are in a relationship with someone then you should stick with them, the need to pursue someone else is irrational to me. If things are not working out between two people then they should talk it out and if all else fails, break up. Having another partner by the side is never a solution.

Emotions are irrational. It's something that escapes our field of logic being only understandable if you use some biological arguments such as procriation.

That's a cop out if I ever heard one!. Yes, emotions and love are irrational and complex at times, however it's not like cheaters are blind to their intentions. It's not like they are not aware of their actions and consequences. They know what they are doing but they do it anyway. To hurt someone you love and are committed to, to betray that trust for someone else..that's not being irrational, it's being an arse!.

Saying someone cheats because "emotions are irrational" makes no sense. If their emotions leads them to someone else then all they have to do is end the existing relationship and pursue their new interest. Why should one continue a relationship if their emotions are strongly leading them to someone else?. The whole thing is just going to end in heartbreak for someone who doesn't deserve that kind of shit.

 

[Irridium]

I've been cheated on, and its awful.

When I found out, I just stopped speaking to her again. All I said during our last conversation is "Why?" and after a bullshit answer, I just said "Go away and never come back."

Never saw her again...

I have also been accused of having sex with my best friend's old girlfriend. Being accused of having sex with someone else's girlfriend when I haven't is infuriating. This girl was a controle freak, and basically trying to get my best friend to hate all of his friends. But she lied to my friend and he accused me. After 30 or so minuts he found out she lied, and lied about almost everything else she said about how my friends did bad things to her.

He dumped her ass, told her to never come by him again, and walked away.

Oh sorry I guess I didn't answer your question.

Anyway, I think people cheat because of the hardwiring in the human mind. Men have to spread their seed as much as possable to ensure the continuation of the human race. Women have to get pregnant at all costs to ensure continued existance of humanity.

Thats just my theory though, could be something else.

 

[RagingScottsman]

On a slightly different note. A large proportion of you seem hurt and untrustworthly of a cheater. I don't see how you can never trust them again. It's something they did but never trusting them again isn't going to solve the problem. Move on or get over it. Otherwise you get trapped in a relationship which is nothing but fear that they'll hurt you again.

I somewhat agree. I suppose I'm mostly of the nature where I'm fully aware of my glass house, as such hurling boulders doesn't usually appeal to me. Cheating is not ok; that I will agree with. But this idea that all people who have ever cheated are absolute scum is nonsense. There honestly are just some situations where NOT cheating should earn you a fucking congressional medal of honor.

Yeah boulders make such unsightful cracks. I do understand how people get hurt, but if you let it control your life than all you will feel is pain.

Totally agree with the last part though. When do i get my medals?

I'll let you know when I get mine, man. I got fed up with such things and gave up on trying to earn medals, points, etc. I would rather spend my time partying and maybe find a girlfriend for the night. Were I to stumble upon the perfect missus though, she could take comfort that I've learned my lesson. Besides, why would the perfect person hold it against me that I had a fleeting moment of promiscuity?

 

[Laura.]

On a slightly different note. A large proportion of you seem hurt and untrustworthly of a cheater. I don't see how you can never trust them again. It's something they did but never trusting them again isn't going to solve the problem. Move on or get over it. Otherwise you get trapped in a relationship which is nothing but fear that they'll hurt you again.

Well, to be honest, I think that if you are cheated on, you should end the relationship immediately.

 

[Seldon2639]

I'm also interested on what passes on the other guy/gal mind. I'm quite sure the majority of people here wouldn't like at all for his partner to betray you but what if you're the one outside the relation? Let's just say you're crazy for someone who's dating and fate plays a trick allowing you to have this person for a moment. You're aware that the person would be betraying his partner and you agree that's an awfull move of his/her, yet, you're crazy for the person. What to do?

Honestly, I seriously don't know.

Speaking as someone's who's had that opportunity in the past, you don't do it. Period. Full stop. You don't help someone do that to another human being, no matter how much you like him/her. And, not for nothing, but if you're truly "crazy" about someone, cheating isn't the right way to go. Most affairs don't end up with the cheater and mistress in a relationship. Especially speaking as a guy, you just don't do that.

I had a friend whose position on the issue was something akin to "if she's cheating, her boyfriend must be bad, so what does it matter to me?" Needless to say, we've not been friends in a while. My best friend's girlfriend cheated on him, and while I had plenty of anger toward the girl, the guy she cheated with doesn't get any sympathy either.

 

[Bailos]

*Brushes off the holier-than-thou vibes.*

Now that that's over, I'll admit that I've both cheated and been cheated on. I'm not saying that cheating is a good thing to do, or okay, or anything like that, but it's also not a reason to burn in hell eternally or what most of you are acting like. Frankly, shit happens. If you can fight those urges, kudos to you I suppose. But if you can't, that's okay. Sure, it'll most likely hurt everyone involved, but show me someone who's never been hurt emotionally in life.

I cheated on my girlfriend twice with my ex, roughly three months and than a year into our relationship. It was hard, but we got through it. I cut my ex out of my life, and we're happier than ever, and are a month past our three year anniversary. So everyone chilling out, saying you can't talk to or look the cheater in the eyes, or saying you'd never in your life, chill out. Wait until you see where life takes you.

 

[Silent but Violent]

I can understand cheating, up to a point - my relationship with my girlfriend (which had been going for just over a year and a half) was based on what most teenage relationships are - looks, passion and flirting. Therefore as time went on, the passion began to feel...stale, for both of us - and there wasn't really anything else underneath it to hold the relationship together.

We ended it, but I can understand the mentality that'll find a new partner exciting and fresh - all the moreso because of the risk of getting caught. A clever (if amoral) person could have the best of both worlds - the stability and close friendship with their long-term girlfriend, and the flirting and sex with the other.

Also, many guys I know are utterly incapable of resisting an offer from a pretty face.

However, I don't agree with either situation - I think that anyone who's suitably strong-willed can avoid cheating.