Tom Goldman said:
What is it about the original Game Boy that makes kids want to turn it into a bomb?
To be fair, 'Pong: The Next Level'
really failed to meet expectations.
Tom Goldman said:
Last year, an 18-year old tried to boost his popularity [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/100461-High-School-Student-Uses-GameBoy-to-Create-Fake-Bomb] by pretending one was an explosive device...
You have to get street cred from
somewhere after you blow your iPad budget on a Game Boy.
Tom Goldman said:
...and just recently another even younger child has done the same thing.
In all fairness, anyone barely older than ten that sees a gray brick with a monochrome screen start pumping out 8-bit beeps and blips probably thinks it
is a bomb.
Tom Goldman said:
NBC reports that an 11-year-old student of the Northside Intermediate School in Milton, Wisconsin was on a school bus and threatened to blow it up with a bomb.
Milton, WI's greatest emergency since those nasty Janesville students painted an indecent picture on the grain elevator.
Tom Goldman said:
The student was holding a device with batteries and wires on it.
I heard he had 4 ounces of shampoo, too. The kid was practically Chemical Ali.
Tom Goldman said:
Police were notified and other students were evacuated off the bus.
The responding officer was relieved to have, quote, "...[N]ipped it in the bud. Nip it! Nip it! Nip it!"
Tom Goldman said:
A SWAT team and bomb squad showed up to negotiate with the child, who was convinced to exit the bus and leave the device behind.
Goodness, what were his demands? A nuclear WonderSwan?
Tom Goldman said:
The bomb squad destroyed the device, though it didn't contain any actual explosives.
Presumably, they were pissed off you can't actually catch Yoshi in Pokemon Blue Version.
Tom Goldman said:
It was simply an original Game Boy with a bunch of wiring and other materials attached, the Milton Police Department confirmed to Kotaku.
I did the same thing to my Game Boy back in the day, seeing if I could force it to play Chrono Trigger.
Tom Goldman said:
School was cancelled for the day, and the 11-year-old was taken into custody.
He got off light. I spent the week in a burn ward.
Tom Goldman said:
To all the kids out there, let's get one thing straight. Your Game Boy is not a bomb.
Interpol is still trying to suppress the Game Gear-based unrest in the Ivory Coast, however.
Tom Goldman said:
It's a fun handheld from the 1990s that brought joy to millions of people across the world.
And literally
dozens of jaded grognards on the Internet.
Tom Goldman said:
Attaching excessive accessories [http://www.amazon.com/HandyPak-trade-Color-Game-Boy/dp/B00000K4DK/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=videogames&qid=1300386634&sr=1-1] to it is one thing, but please stop trying to deface its good name by attaching bomb-like materials.
If you want to see flames, just go online and say you preferred the Atari Lynx.
Tom Goldman said:
That's what the N-Gage [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/N-Gage] is for.
Aaaaaand a joke about the Nokia N-Gage has given the article its first and only
real bomb. Way to go out with a bang, Mr. Goldman.
(As always, all in good fun.)
