College seems lonely...

[Unesh52]

snip

I can hazard a guess at why people are like that, based on my experience. Personally, I can find it hard to talk to people, not so much because I'm afraid they won't like me, but because I'm afraid I won't like them. I mean, how awkward is it when you initiate a conversation to find that the person is a total toss, and then have to either contrive an excuse to leave without giving them your number or say something to the effect of, "Excuse me, but you are an offensively uninteresting or just plain offensive person. Please stop talking to me." And I know this is necessary, because there's nothing worse than deceiving someone who is a waste of food, water, and oxygen into thinking you're best friends. I know.

 

[Not-here-anymore]

The only person who recognises you from high school is you! You don't have a reputation at college, so you're free to forge your own path!
If you don't know anyone yet, have a look at the various societies going on, and go to the ones based around your interests - you're guaranteed to find like-minded people.
Also, try new things (again, societies are good for this) - by new, I mean interesting looking that you haven't tried before/done much, or that no-one will have done before. I met a lot of people by starting archery, and the shared incompetence was a great way to meet people!

Also, once classes start, you're guaranteed to meet (and talk to) at least a few people on your courses. Just makes sure to say hi and introduce yourself in the first couple of weeks. It may seem a little harsh, but you (general you, not specifically the OP) need to develop the confidence to walk up to strangers and at least say hi. It's difficult to make friends if you don't talk to anyone!

Good luck! And I'm sure you'll have a great time in the end!

 

[Jjtricky]

Enh hilariously enough I remember being more lonely in a huge state state school than in a tiny school. But yea I've been lonely and friendless at college, it's not that fun. Especially when you want to murder your roommate.

That said, hanging around the common rooms (in your dorm or the student center) you'll meet lots of folks, some of them you might even get along with.

Ok, so there are loads of bedrooms called a "dorm", right? And a common room is where people of said dorm socialise. So what do you call the whole structure?

Obviously, I have never seen a college, and this post seems REALLY idiotic

I think you go a bit far calling the post itself idiotic... but yeah, sometimes the vernacular describing a lot of the facilities around campus can be confusing and redundant. Nonetheless, I know what he's going on about, so it's ok.

No, MY post was idiotic. Sorry for the confusion. Just always wanted to know about the structure of a college, and it appears trivial to anyone who is at college

 

[Lonan]

Just be grateful you can live without you're parents, buddy. If could move into a 300 square foot place for this semester then be totally broke afterwards, but instead I'm staying with my parents. Be grateful you don't have too.

 

[Eumersian]

What I did when I was in an unfamiliar place full of unfamiliar people (i.e. last year at some camps of sorts) is just stand near a group of people, and possibly say something obvious like "Do you mind if I sit here?" or "Hey I haven't talked to too many people, what's your name?" At that point, they're basically letting you eavesdrop, which means that you can enter in a funny comment or agreement at practically any suitable point.

This doesn't mean that you are guaranteed to not look like a goon.

 

[Yosato]

I spent my 2nd and final year at (English version of) college completely by myself; I had a few mates in classes but none that I hung out with in frees and all my real friends I'd just see when I got home at 5 anyway. So now I'm about to start Uni and will be royally pissed off if I let the same thing happen again

 

[Xanadu84]

I was very anti-social. Very difficult for me to find new people, never really tried. Even I at one point had a random girl sit across from me and start talking. And from her, I met a few people, who helped me meet a few people, and within a month or so, I had a whole circle. Don't worry about it, friends will just happen

If your still worried, look out for a club. Naturally, classes are a help, but you can also look for a club that's at least vaguely related to your interests. I, for example, played a lot of D+D, and met a lot of people when I joined a LARP group. Find a group that does something you like, and failing that, find something you may like. Failing that, make a club.

Ok, so there are loads of bedrooms called a "dorm", right? And a common room is where people of said dorm socialise. So what do you call the whole structure?

Obviously, I have never seen a college, and this post seems REALLY idiotic

Not idiotic. The whole building is a Dorm. In a Dorm, frequently on every floor, is a Common Room everyone shares, usually with a kitchen, television, couch, table and chairs. There are then rooms everywhere else. Sometimes, people will refer to their rooms as there dorm because its simpler, and as far as they are concerned, the room is the only part of there dorm that's really relevant. For an added bit of information, there are generally 2 type of Dorms. First are Corridor style, where there are many, many rooms, usually 2 to a room, but occasionally a single for people with certain needs, or triples or even quadruples depending on if the building layout left a few larger rooms, or how pressed for space the school is. These have a few public bathrooms per floor, and generally have the most important Common Rooms. Then there is Suite Style, which is generally a set of 4 or so common rooms per floor, each attached to a bathroom and 4 or so rooms of 2 people each.

 

[Midnight Crossroads]

I just moved in here at Georgia State University in Atlanta this past Friday. My roommates are nice and I even got to go rock climbing with one of them, and his friends. There have been 100 parties and socials and "ice-breakers," but I just haven't made any friends yet. Despite there being some 30,000 and change students here, I've met all of one person who likes video games. There's plenty of sports nuts and outdoors-men around, and I can't identify with either group. Not to mention I always feel intimidated around attractive, physically fit, popular people. It's just that I think it's weak that my roommates seem to have a sizable group from within which they can always find someone to go out with. And I always walk to the parties alone. I miss all my friends from high school. I'm posting because I feel a little lonely right now, is all.

I'm honestly expecting it to get a lot better once class starts and I'll have an excuse to hang around with some folks until they start to like me, so I'm not really that worried. Well, a little worried. Can any escapists out there relate? Did you go through this when you were in college? Are you now? What helps?

It may be the people you hang out with or the school you go to(I'm not sure what GSU is good at.) I know plenty of video game nuts at Mercer, but this is a school famous for its engineering programs. They don't usually have social lives; it's studying or video games. That suits me fine, I'm pre-med and chemistry. With a school the size of GSU, you really have to start frequenting things such as clubs. Even if you meet no one or nothing of interest happens, the important thing is taking those steps on the off chance you will find someone to hit it off with. A single person can unlock a whole new social world quite rapidly.

 

[Kurokami]

I can hazard a guess at why people are like that, based on my experience. Personally, I can find it hard to talk to people, not so much because I'm afraid they won't like me, but because I'm afraid I won't like them. I mean, how awkward is it when you initiate a conversation to find that the person is a total toss, and then have to either contrive an excuse to leave without giving them your number or say something to the effect of, "Excuse me, but you are an offensively uninteresting or just plain offensive person. Please stop talking to me." And I know this is necessary, because there's nothing worse than deceiving someone who is a waste of food, water, and oxygen into thinking you're best friends. I know.

I know that all to well, even if me and another person do 'hit it off', unless they blatantly show it I will stay away from them for fear of imposing incase I've made a less than desirable impression on them as you've said. I can only assume that others do so similarly, which ends up with a whole lot of people staying the hell away from each other and not really talking.

Just for the record though, that's still no excuse to avoid manners, if my arch enemy holds a door open for me I'd still say 'thanks', if only in a hate filled mumble. Like I said, I can do without friends in my classes, but it irritates me that people can be so discourteous. (Its a pet peeve)

 

[Jjtricky]

Not idiotic. The whole building is a Dorm. In a Dorm, frequently on every floor, is a Common Room everyone shares, usually with a kitchen, television, couch, table and chairs. There are then rooms everywhere else. Sometimes, people will refer to their rooms as there dorm because its simpler, and as far as they are concerned, the room is the only part of there dorm that's really relevant. For an added bit of information, there are generally 2 type of Dorms. First are Corridor style, where there are many, many rooms, usually 2 to a room, but occasionally a single for people with certain needs, or triples or even quadruples depending on if the building layout left a few larger rooms, or how pressed for space the school is. These have a few public bathrooms per floor, and generally have the most important Common Rooms. Then there is Suite Style, which is generally a set of 4 or so common rooms per floor, each attached to a bathroom and 4 or so rooms of 2 people each.

So basically each floor is a flat essentially? Who provides the equipment for the common room - the University, or students? Finally, is this a UK or US university?

Wow, reading that back it sounded like an interrogation xD

Thanks for the help!

 

[Amardor]

Start having sex.

 

[Caligulove]

You just started, man.
Give it time, you still have a long way ahead of you and things will get better in that situation, I guarantee it.

The most important thing, though, really is to go out of your comfort zone a little when it comes to those first, key few weeks and such. Most everyone is new and already feeling weird about themselves, being so independent and on their own for the first time. Don't think for once that your situation is somehow unique or different than theirs.

I'm not gonna tell you to 'keep your head up' or think positively, though. A lot of college will suck, sometimes those first few weeks can really take a lot out of you. And thinking positively only goes so far, really making it better for yourself involves looking at your experience as a whole, and making conclusions about what to do with your time, not just constantly telling yourself everything will be fine the way you are. To really affect lasting change in your life, you need a lot of effort. And the pay-off is always worth it in college.

You might be at the beginning of one of the happiest moments of your life. Embrace it, college is all about opening yourself.

It sounds like the usual high school advisor spiel, but it really is true.

 

[Lissa-QUON]

Enh hilariously enough I remember being more lonely in a huge state state school than in a tiny school. But yea I've been lonely and friendless at college, it's not that fun. Especially when you want to murder your roommate.

That said, hanging around the common rooms (in your dorm or the student center) you'll meet lots of folks, some of them you might even get along with.

Ok, so there are loads of bedrooms called a "dorm", right? And a common room is where people of said dorm socialise. So what do you call the whole structure?

Obviously, I have never seen a college, and this post seems REALLY idiotic

Hrm, good question, never really thought about. But as far as I know;

A dorm is the building full of rooms - dorm and dorm building seems to be interchangeable - the rooms are also sometimes called dorms.

Kinda like how an apartment building and apartment are used to describe the building and the the individual units.

 

[Lissa-QUON]

P.S. Don't do anything too stupid, as some of my ex roomates found out there are lines and crossing them is bad .

I'm intrigued. I can has story?

That said, hanging around the common rooms (in your dorm or the student center) you'll meet lots of folks, some of them you might even get along with.

Trying to find folks who are gamers? Hang around the student centers, see if anyone plays a DS or something. Also I remember sometimes the dorms around us would have Guitar Hero competitions and such occasionally. Maybe your dorms will have similar events.

I like these ideas. Although one thing I've noticed when I try to talk about games with people I meet is that they like to get my hopes up by saying they love them, then let me down when they tell me all they play is Wii fit or whatever. It's always really awkward because I want to go, "oh, you play those kind of games."

Hah, in that case you could try to introduce them to your kind of games. They might not be gamers as you like to think of them but who says you can't try to convert them. I did this with my collection of insane card games and board games (I'm a nerdy kind of gamer) and it became a weekly event to get together as many people as we could to play.

Though don't get too pushy, then you'll just have neither gamers to hang with nor friends to talk to.

 

[Hammer's Girl]

I'm honestly expecting it to get a lot better once class starts and I'll have an excuse to hang around with some folks until they start to like me, so I'm not really that worried. Well, a little worried. Can any escapists out there relate? Did you go through this when you were in college? Are you now? What helps?

Really don't worry. I came to University scared out of my mind about meeting new people and making friends. I'm just about to start my second year and I'm living in a house with two really close friends who I met randomly and the love of my life who was in my tutor group, started out as a close friend and then ended up as something more.

Just relax, be yourself and have fun. Don't expect everyone you meet in the next few weeks to instantly become your best friend and don't write off people you wouldn't usually hang out with. Join societies that relate to your interests and see who you meet.

Just don't try to turn yourself into someone you're not, it never works and will make you miserable.

 

[Commissar Sae]

I didn't make any real friends in Uni until about my second year there. Granted it's in my hometown so I don't feel quite so bad as I had plenty of people I already knew around but still. Generally you'll meet people in your program you can han out with and make some friends that way.

 

[rowan-thats-me]

personally, I just fit right in at uni, but some of my mates found it hard, you said you've been rock climbing? try to find a rock climbing club, the socials will really help you make friends, I know the ski club made me alot of friends up in uni...best of luck dude, and be yourself, that way when you find people who you befriend you'll know their the right people to be friends with Bottoms up!