Conversation Starters.

[Brett Alex]

Me: Soo, 365kg penguin...
Person: Sorry what?
Me: Just trying to break the ice..

EDIT: Damn, ninja'd by Ivoryagent!

 

[manicfoot]

"Start a conversation with me or I'll rape you, cut you into tiny pieces, eat you, shit you out and then rape the shit" works everytime

 

[Airhead]

(To boss): Hi! Have you ever considered goin on a diet?

If the boss is male, results can vary from getting fired to getting a cordial laugh, depending on his personality and mood.



If the boss is female, speaker death is imminent.

 

[Blind0bserver]

"Not to sound selfish, but drop everything your doing and focus on me."

 

[wewontdie11]

Preferably while walking up to a group of tough looking people with more edge than a knife drawer: "OK, which one of you bitches, wants to dance?"

(Incidentally also a great chat-up line)

 

[IrrelevantTangent]

"So, I accidentally slept with your mother."

"The Escapist? More like The FAIList!"

"I LOVE YOU YAHTZEE!!1oneonetwosix!111"

"Yahtzee sucks! Who's with me?!"

"What's your Zombie Escape Plan?"

"So, I'm going to commit suicide tonight..."

 

[Death Magnetic]

When I said I was a positive type of guy I was talking about HIV.

-Ricky

 

[Kyriptonite]

"So dose god exist or what"
"LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME" then fall on ur face
"im dead your the only one who can see me"
"are your parents retarded, cos you sure are special"
"god your a fucking boreing"
"I had a dream last night, I killed you, I enjoyed it"

 

[Blind0bserver]

"So, I left a pair of my underpants at your girlfriends house last night. Can you do me a favor and get them for me?"

 

[SecretTacoNinja]

"..............................................
................................................
................................................
You got any pot?"

I don't start conversations, I'm incapable of doing so.

"You!" *Point at random person* "You have one of three options! Get me cigarettes, engage in sweaty intercourse with me, or converse on todays topics and the economy! Choose now, AND CHOOSE WISELY MORTAL!"

Or my favorite:

*Walk into crowed at college*
"METALLICA SUCKS!"

I should do the same, except with Linken Park XD

 

[bluerahjah]

"I've got some candy in that big, black, scary van over there..."

 

[Blind0bserver]

"Hey kid, wanna see a dead body?"

 

[Generic Hero]

This has helped me get a convo started. I have the wild pokemon theme as my ringtone so when I got a text it started going off. This girl from the across the room yelled "OMG Dewd watch out for that wild pokemon" then we started talking about how sad our childhoods were spending endless hours on pokemon games.

 

[Avatar Roku]

"So, how 'bout those Red Sox?" I live in New York, so this always ends interestingly.

 

[Amnestic]

"So, how 'bout those Red Sox?" I live in New York, so this always ends interestingly.

Out of interest, why is it spelt "Sox"? I'm assuming they're referring to red garments you wear on your feet, but that doesn't have an X in it.

Is it sox with an X to make it more XTREME?

 

[xitel]

I have managed to start many a conversation talking about the weather. I know, it's kind of a cliche, but it works! Another way to do it is to just ask a question to noone in particular. Usually, someone will respond, and you can start a conversation.

 

[Fruhstuck]

Hey SweetCheeks, are you legal?

 

[Fruhstuck]

Exscuse me *holds up cloth to person's nose* does this smell like chloroform?