Epitome said:
theultimateend said:
You know at a certain point in history saying the world was round or not in the center of the universe also seemed counter intuitive to most people.
What does it mean to be a boy? Is it your genitals? Is it your hormones? What do these two things entail? Are you supposed to work, are you supposed to like sports, should you scratch your groin?
What is it to be a girl?
Sexually it breaks down to the biology. But you aren't asking me about sex. You are asking me about gender.
Gender roles are fluid. Even in the US gender roles have changed since my parents (and to a lesser extent I) have been alive. In my Father's early years women were expected to stay at home and most advertisements towards 'house products' were geared towards them. Men were supposed to be rugged and be in the military.
However even the slowest person should hopefully notice how subjective the entire thing is.
Keep in mind your 'sick' therapy is not unlike what religious groups used to do to nonbelievers. Parents were generally burned alive if they didn't convert and their children were stolen and 're-educated'.
Gender is at its core entirely a lifestyle choice and not much more.
I scratch my groin.....
No seriously while I feel as though i should be insulted on some level, your debate is very good food for thought. I agree that there is a seperation between sex and gender but feel that there is also a strong association between the two . Born with a penis denotes you as a man in my book and i would disagree that its a lifestlye choice so long as the two are not completely and practically interchangable. Its not like changing a shirt you dont like, gender to my mind is not something you get to decide between when you wake up in the morning.
I would agree that the experience is subjective but not in its entirity. What gender you are has a large effect on all the people you come into contact with. Imagine your spouse decided she wanted to be a he now and you could learn to live with it or she will take the kids and leave?
Having a penis and acting like a man are two entirely different things. One you are given and the other you choose.
In some countries the men are the ones who do all the laundry and housework. In some nations women are not allowed to speak. Various nations have different roles that beyond the biological level do not overlap.
The essential similarities are that men have generally more muscle growth and tend to have jobs that relate to those the easiest. Women have the ability to give birth and feed children through their body and thusly tend to be expected to be with the child at early times. But even this can be changed. In some countries both the man and the women get Maternity leave so that they can be with their child.
I have seen no study that shows a strong connection. People tend to assume since little boys grab toy cars and GI Joes that they are predestined to do so. They forget that the child spends its entire youth examining its parents and the surroundings to understand what is necessary.
Infants show no preference between 'male' and 'female' toys. Because they haven't been 'taught' which is proper. Even now the lines are blurring with each year in the US as more and more things become ambiguous. The reason simply being that there has been no repeatable case study where a predestined set of gender roles was found. It is all
entirely culturally driven.
Likewise most people don't change gender "evernight" or "overnight", their sexual identity is decided (usually) around the time they hit puberty. Their body starts setting off all the biological cues and depending on what is going on they find themselves being interested in boys, or girls, feeling like a boy, or feeling like a girl.
The first two are pretty much set in stone, they have nothing to do with your culture, if you like boys you like boys. You can go to 'training' to fix that but most people that do end up being caught still having sex with boys (which is entirely fine).
The latter two are cultural. People 'feel like girls' because their desires and interests are denoted in their culture as 'feminine'. Same with 'feeling like boys'.
I think that the major problem here for you is differentiating between the biological and the sociological differences of someones sex. Biologically you are a man because you have a penis, but acting 'male' is different. There is nothing about your penis that decides if you'll like sports, carpentry, dolls, cooking, guns, or grits (mmm grits).
As for your latter situation. I have no strong sexual attraction to men, likewise I'm not repulsed by them. When I was in Japan I used the public baths quite often, it was convenient and the water was always hot enough to melt the flesh from a whale. There were dozens of men there and not one looked around scared trying to sneak their genitals out of sight as fast as possible. (However in America I literally have heard people say things like "OH JESUS!" when they catch a glimpse of a penis in a gym shower or locker room.)
So while I wouldn't be repulsed by whoever I am with I would likewise not be sexually attracted to them. I would find it highly unfortunate that they decided they had to leave (and were taking the kids) but I would also understand that I apparently had not understood who they were as well as I thought I did. It happens. People date folks and find that they weren't as compatible as they thought they were.
Also you missed a bit in that one sentence "What gender you are has a large effect on all the people you come into contact with
and is entirely dependent on your cultural location."
The reaction that a group of Cubans have with me will be different than a group of Americans than a group of Kenyans than a group of Iranians than a group of Japanese or Chinese or even New Zealanders (assuming in each case these are Nationals of said nation). I may notice some subtle underlying similarities such as none of them being sexually attracted to me (which would be a biological trait) however the rest of our experiences will likely be much different even discounting language barriers.