Corrupt a Wish game

[BrailleOperatic]

@Xpwnential: Granted, now turn your head a little so I stick this fish in your ear.

I wish I was Richard Gere.

 

[Blue Musician]

Granted, but you cannot remember anything.

I wish I had a cake right now.

 

[BrailleOperatic]

Granted, but it's wings have clipped.

I wish the missing frame in my avvy was less noticeable.

 

[Blue Musician]

Granted, everyone will stop paying attention to you.

I wish I lived next to Yahtzee.

 

[BrailleOperatic]

Granted you live next to the plant that makes the board game Yahtzee.

I wish Hollywood would just stop making action movies for a few years.

 

[Blue Musician]

Granted, it makes Twilight ripoffs.

I wish I was in a terrorist cell.

 

[Robert632]

Granted, but everyone forgets you are in there, and you die of starvation.

I wish I had a bullet in a fake gun.

 

[Blue Musician]

Granted, but you use that fake fun in a real life shootout.

I wish my cat didn't eat my ear plugs and that I could still use them.

 

[Robert632]

Granted, but your dog ate them instead, and they are still usble after he craps them out. Just very smelly.

I wish for a ton of lard to be dumpped on a whale.

 

[BrailleOperatic]

Granted, we dump you on a whale.

I wish my life was a Final Fantasy game.

 

[Vrex360]

Granted. But it is a game that is never played, thus your life never starts.
(philosophy 101)

I wish I had a girlfriend who looked exactly like Ellen Page and had a similar charming intelligent demeanor about her.

 

[Robert632]

Granted, but you are one of the many wolve.

I wish for some mcnuggets.

 

[TraitortoHeaven]

Granted, but you get no bar-b-que sauce.

I wish I could beat up Superman

 

[BrailleOperatic]

Granted, you can beat up Super-quadrapeligic Man.

I wish I could spell quadrupleejick.

 

[TraitortoHeaven]

Granted, but now the word is deleted from your mind.

I wish I had a pet pony

 

[Frozen Donkey Wheel2]

Granted. Unfortutately, you don't know how to care for it properly and it dies.

I wish I could eat bacon cheeseburgers all day without getting fat.

 

[TraitortoHeaven]

Granted, but you have to get a handful of fattening fries for every bite of bacon cheeseburgers.

I wish for a giant robot.

 

[Blue Musician]

Granted, it's one from Evangelion.

I wish I had a hard bed.

 

[Xpwn3ntial]

Granted. It's stone.

I wish for a human slave.