Could You Date A Transexual?

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Calibanbutcher

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Quadocky said:
Calibanbutcher said:
Interesting.
So somehow both "sides" feel that the other is being hostile towards them?
Seems like a real clusterf*ck if you ask me.
Except, oppression of a minority is a much more dire thing.

You didn't bother to read the rest of my post, did you?

Something about freedom etc?
 

OtherSideofSky

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No idea. I don't have any objection to it, but I've never been asked out by a transsexual, so it's entirely possible that I could not date one because they all dislike me. I've met trans women I find attractive and there are probably some who share interests with me, so I guess I can answer 'yes' to the question 'are there trans people you would be willing to date?'.

If I were to state a preference, I would probably prefer to be with someone who had just had hormone treatments as opposed to full reconstruction surgery on their genitals.
 

Casper Thostrup

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wintercoat said:
I am about 80% sure that I would be okay with dating a MtoF trans. I mean, as long as I find them attractive, both mentally and physically, the fuck do I care what they were born as? Be a bit weird at first if our relationship is physical, me not being much of a fan of penis and all, and post-op vag is a bit...off...but hey, what's a relationship without obstacles to overcome? If I care enough about them, I'll get over myself eventually. And if I really care about them, then I doubt it will be a problem in the first place.
Love how you say you would be 80% ok with dating a MtoF and you GIF is ''kill them with fire'' xD
 

bananafishtoday

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Casual Shinji said:
But what does any of that have to do with being physically attracted to someone? I'm not attracted to 90-year old ladies either, it doesn't mean I think they're sub-human.

I can't force my body to be attracted to someone when I don't find them attractive. It is okay to not be sexually attracted to someone based on how they look. Maybe this makes me extremely shallow, but I guess I'm just that close-minded.
No, it's totally ok and perfectly natural to be attracted to people based on appearance. And if you find out someone you were attracted to is transwoman, and that's a dealbreaker for you, better to be honest.

What's not ok are pithy comments about how "if you're a guy you're a guy."
 

Lieju

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Casual Shinji said:
Why do these transgender threads always exude this vibe that not being able to be physically attracted to every human being on the planet makes you a bad person?
I think it's more of an issue that a lot of people seem to misunderstand what it means being a transsexual, and have a very strict idea of what is a 'man' and what a 'woman', when reality is not always so black and white.

It's a bit like saying 'I'd never date someone who has a different skin colour than me'.

You're entitled to choose who you want to date, but it might be based on misinformation and prejudice.
 

Casual Shinji

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Quadocky said:
Casual Shinji said:
Quadocky said:
Casual Shinji said:
Why do these transgender threads always exude this vibe that not being able to be physically attracted to every human being on the planet makes you a bad person?
Because honestly, there are far too many great people out there killed and judged harshly based on appearance alone.

And not that it makes you a bad person, rather people should be much more empathetic. I actually got a more hostile vibe from this thread in concern to transsexualism, quite the opposite of what you are speaking of. I keep seeing "Its okay to not like someone based on how they look!"

At least that is my perspective.
But what does any of that have to do with being physically attracted to someone? I'm not attracted to 90-year old ladies either, it doesn't mean I think they're sub-human.

I can't force my body to be attracted to someone when I don't find them attractive. It is okay to not be sexually attracted to someone based on how they look. Maybe this makes me extremely shallow, but I guess I'm just that close-minded.
It doesn't, I am saying is that vibe is most likely misconstrued. Empathy is much more important.

The preference of personal aesthetic is just that, personal. To judge someone on appearance alone is problematic.
We're always going to judge someone on appearances alone, at first. Because how someone looks is the first information that enters our brain. And our eyes are generally our most precious of the five senses. Can you honestly tell me you've never seen certain people walk down the street and thought, 'Jeez, look at that idiot'? Our minds kind of work automatically that way. But that doesn't mean you should base your entire opinion on that. And I don't
 

JoJo

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Lieju said:
EDIT: Also, to everyone in this thread who said 'I want to have children', would you date someone who can't have children for some reason, or just is very certain they don't want to?

I'm just wondering how many people use that as an excuse...
Yes, I would not start a serious relationship with anyone who didn't want or couldn't have children, it's that simple. To many people having a family is an important life goal and while adoption is an option, it takes years of jumping through hoops and most adoptive children take a different challenge to raise than biological kids since at the best they've experienced neglect and often much worse abuse.

OT: I would date for short term if I found them attractive but for long term, the lack of fertility would rule it out. People are free to choose their own gender and I will respect their choice but I'm somewhat sceptical about the whole "it's not a mental condition, it's physical," point. There are people who believe they are wrong age (adult babies) or the wrong species (otherkin), do they have a physical problem too?
 

Tufty94

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Absolutely. Funnily enough, I don't find myself attracted to regular girls or boys, but I love M-to-F Transsexuals (pre-op is better). It kind of sucks though, since as far as I know there are not a lot of transgender women where I live, and probably less that I would share interests with.
 

Nieroshai

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The biggest problem for me is that a man-to-woman is still a man really, but now a eunuch given surgery and hormones to reasonably pass as a woman.
 

Beautiful Tragedy

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JoJo said:
Lieju said:
EDIT: Also, to everyone in this thread who said 'I want to have children', would you date someone who can't have children for some reason, or just is very certain they don't want to?

I'm just wondering how many people use that as an excuse...
Yes, I would not start a serious relationship with anyone who didn't want or couldn't have children, it's that simple. To many people having a family is an important life goal and while adoption is an option, it takes years of jumping through hoops and most adoptive children take a different challenge to raise than biological kids since at the best they've experienced neglect and often much worse abuse.

OT: I would date for short-term if I found them attractive but for long-term, the lack of fertility would rule it out. People are free to choose their own gender and I will respect their choice but I'm some what sceptical about the whole "it's not a mental condition, it's physical," point. There are people who believe they are wrong age (adult babies) or the wrong species (otherkin), do they have a physical problem too?
are those in the DSM? Gender Dysphoria is, and was declassified now that deeper long term study has been done. It is not considered a mental disorder by the mental, and medical health community.
 

Casual Shinji

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bananafishtoday said:
Casual Shinji said:
But what does any of that have to do with being physically attracted to someone? I'm not attracted to 90-year old ladies either, it doesn't mean I think they're sub-human.

I can't force my body to be attracted to someone when I don't find them attractive. It is okay to not be sexually attracted to someone based on how they look. Maybe this makes me extremely shallow, but I guess I'm just that close-minded.
No, it's totally ok and perfectly natural to be attracted to people based on appearance. And if you find out someone you were attracted to is transwoman, and that's a dealbreaker for you, better to be honest.

What's not ok are pithy comments about how "if you're a guy you're a guy."
Why is this not okay? Why is it okay for transgenders to place so much importance on gender (why else would they get a sex change), but not for everyone else?
 

Rawne1980

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Beautiful Tragedy said:
oh c'mon, you know you want me ;P hehe
If we were both single ...... and in the same country (you live a bit far away to nip round for a coffee) i'd be all over you like a rash flower (but less itchy).
 

Nieroshai

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Beautiful Tragedy said:
Quadocky said:
Beautiful Tragedy said:
Quadocky said:
TehCookie said:
I never could, there is no way to make a male into female or vise versa and doing so is just mutilation. I'm fine if they want to act like the opposite gender, but when you get to the surgery I find that crossing the line. Like how furries have a fursona, and then there's that guy who sewn a dogs face onto his. Then again I'm not attracted to plastic surgery in general, and the more drastic of a change the more of a turn-off it is.
No, being a transsexual is most likely nothing like roleplaying a character in a fandom.
it's absolutely nothing like that. It's deeper..WAY deeper.
Glad to have confirmation. I just seem to lack the terminology to describe the why of it at the moment.

Sure :) Ya it's not "acting" anything, it's what I AM... I was born in the wrong body and i am just making efforts to change that mistake.
Being what you "are," at least somewhat includes your body. Which is still its original gender, aside from cosmetic tweaks. Let the hormone treatments run out, you'll see my point.

I am NOT saying people should NOT be transgender. I AM saying belief that you really have BECOME the opposite gender is not true. In reality, you have become a nonfunctional version of your original gender that resembles the opposite one. So no, it's not deeper. Yes, you are roleplaying. But that's perfectly ok, because it's what you truly feel you want to be. Also note, being "born in the wrong body" is probably too metaphysical a case to bring up in a medical argument.
 

drisky

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Casual Shinji said:
Why do these transgender threads always exude this vibe that not being able to be physically attracted to every human being on the planet makes you a bad person?
I don't think anyone is saying that really, any one who does is rather silly. You can't force someone to be a attracted to trans people any more then a trans person can "just deal with it. No one should have to make apologies for their sexuality and that means heterosexuals too. However people go beyond that and add an unnecessary level of hostilely to their answers. I'll use yours as an example.

Casual Shinji said:
No way in hell.

I'm sorry for everyone who feels trapped in the wong gender's physique, but to me if you're a guy then you're a guy. And I'm attracted to girls.

And there's more to it. I find people who have undergone heavy duty plastic surgery horribly unappealing. I wouldn't want to date a man who (surgically) became a woman anymore than I would want to date a woman who (surgically) became a man.
Yours was a relatively mild way of putting it, (relative to comparing it to cutting of dog faces, almost everything is mild) but your words still come off as telling transpeople they are delusional. That's the problem. Rather then saying something like "Its not something I could get past physically or sexually", many have to try and act like transpeople are lies in human form. That is the part that offends people, the idea that they are all delusional.
 

Beautiful Tragedy

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Rawne1980 said:
Beautiful Tragedy said:
oh c'mon, you know you want me ;P hehe
If we were both single ...... and in the same country (you live a bit far away to nip round for a coffee) i'd be all over you like a rash flower (but less itchy).
Such a tease ;P hehe
 

rutger5000

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Depends on how he/she dealt with it. Being born with the wrong sex must have been a trauma, and I wouldn't date a depressed person. I probably feel a bit weird about it, but if he/she is happy with who he/she is and if he/she is a fun person to be around. Hey let's give it a shot
 

Beautiful Tragedy

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Nieroshai said:
Beautiful Tragedy said:
Quadocky said:
Beautiful Tragedy said:
Quadocky said:
TehCookie said:
I never could, there is no way to make a male into female or vise versa and doing so is just mutilation. I'm fine if they want to act like the opposite gender, but when you get to the surgery I find that crossing the line. Like how furries have a fursona, and then there's that guy who sewn a dogs face onto his. Then again I'm not attracted to plastic surgery in general, and the more drastic of a change the more of a turn-off it is.
No, being a transsexual is most likely nothing like roleplaying a character in a fandom.
it's absolutely nothing like that. It's deeper..WAY deeper.
Glad to have confirmation. I just seem to lack the terminology to describe the why of it at the moment.

Sure :) Ya it's not "acting" anything, it's what I AM... I was born in the wrong body and i am just making efforts to change that mistake.
Being what you "are," at least somewhat includes your body. Which is still its original gender, aside from cosmetic tweaks. Let the hormone treatments run out, you'll see my point.

I am NOT saying people should NOT be transgender. I AM saying belief that you really have BECOME the opposite gender is not true. In reality, you have become a nonfunctional version of your original gender that resembles the opposite one. So no, it's not deeper. Yes, you are roleplaying. But that's perfectly ok, because it's what you truly feel you want to be. Also note, being "born in the wrong body" is probably too metaphysical a case to bring up in a medical argument.
incorrect. completely incorrect. My MIND, the chemistry of my brain are female. I am not roleplaying anything, I am a woman, it's for you to have an opinion, but do one minute of research... or not..ignorance is bliss.