Cpt_Oblivious' Text Adventure!
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"You wouldn't happen to have a WOOD CHIPPER at all, would you?" I suggest. +1 EVIL
"What? No, you idiot! I need a good idea. Maybe I should've just killed you? And why are you looking at me like that? You look... hungry..."
In the current situation I don't think eating the WOMAN would be a good idea. Either as cannibalism or part of my seduction efforts.
"Come one, I'm sure someone heard the argument and the gun going off! The police will probably be here soon! HELP ME!" the WOMAN screams.
"What? No, you idiot! I need a good idea. Maybe I should've just killed you? And why are you looking at me like that? You look... hungry..."
In the current situation I don't think eating the WOMAN would be a good idea. Either as cannibalism or part of my seduction efforts.
"Come one, I'm sure someone heard the argument and the gun going off! The police will probably be here soon! HELP ME!" the WOMAN screams.
Maybe I can kill myself and avoid all of this?
"Can I use your TOILET?" I ask, the now very stressed WOMAN.
"Ok, but you better think of something in there."
I run to her TOILET and unburden my bowels. Reaching in to the bowl I pick up the POO and attempt to eat it. No. Fuck that. It's disgusting. I drop the POO and wash my hands. I'd rather get killed by that WOMAN than eat my own POO[footnote]I was too lazy to unwrite this part. I hated you when I saw the Eat shit command.[/footnote]
I rummage in her cabinets and take out some PILLS. I wonder what these do?
Let's find out! -10 HEALTH
That doesn't feel good at all. I pocket the rest of the PILLS, pull out my ORGAN DONOR CARD. It says they can steal everything I own. I wonder if the WOMAN's husband is also signed up for that?
I return to the LIVING ROOM.
"Have you got a RUG we can roll him up in? Then we can dump him in the WOODS or something?"
"I should do. Yes, here it is. Now help me roll him up". She pulls a RUG out of a closet and we roll up her HUSBAND'S CORPSE.
"So where should we leave him?" WOMAN asks. Apparently I'm the ideas guy.
"Can I use your TOILET?" I ask, the now very stressed WOMAN.
"Ok, but you better think of something in there."
I run to her TOILET and unburden my bowels. Reaching in to the bowl I pick up the POO and attempt to eat it. No. Fuck that. It's disgusting. I drop the POO and wash my hands. I'd rather get killed by that WOMAN than eat my own POO[footnote]I was too lazy to unwrite this part. I hated you when I saw the Eat shit command.[/footnote]
I rummage in her cabinets and take out some PILLS. I wonder what these do?
Let's find out! -10 HEALTH
That doesn't feel good at all. I pocket the rest of the PILLS, pull out my ORGAN DONOR CARD. It says they can steal everything I own. I wonder if the WOMAN's husband is also signed up for that?
I return to the LIVING ROOM.
"Have you got a RUG we can roll him up in? Then we can dump him in the WOODS or something?"
"I should do. Yes, here it is. Now help me roll him up". She pulls a RUG out of a closet and we roll up her HUSBAND'S CORPSE.
"So where should we leave him?" WOMAN asks. Apparently I'm the ideas guy.
- Inventory
Phone
Wallet - Student Card, Organ Donor Card, Cash Card
Keys
Pen
Trampled Flowers
Coins
Tissues
£12.00
Iron Man 2 Ticket Stub
Pills
"We could bury him in the back garden?" I suggest feebly.
"NO! That's too cliché! It's the first place they'll look!"
WOMAN's getting angry, better think of something good and fast!
"NO! That's too cliché! It's the first place they'll look!"
WOMAN's getting angry, better think of something good and fast!
"Take him to the fucking woods! You shot him, why am I thinking of things?"
"Have you ever killed someone? It kinda messes up your thought processes! And because you were just a witness, now you're an accomplice!" WOMAN yells, evidently panicking.
I go to the KITCHEN and get some LARGE KNIVES. Just in case. We bundle the CORPSE IN THE RUG into her CAR along with some SHOVELS and drive to the WOODS a few miles away.
We're at the WOODS. It's getting dark. There a lots of BIG TREES around us and a HILL further out.
"Where should we dig this hole then?" The WOMAN asks, relying on me, her accomplice and ideas man.
"Have you ever killed someone? It kinda messes up your thought processes! And because you were just a witness, now you're an accomplice!" WOMAN yells, evidently panicking.
I go to the KITCHEN and get some LARGE KNIVES. Just in case. We bundle the CORPSE IN THE RUG into her CAR along with some SHOVELS and drive to the WOODS a few miles away.
We're at the WOODS. It's getting dark. There a lots of BIG TREES around us and a HILL further out.
"Where should we dig this hole then?" The WOMAN asks, relying on me, her accomplice and ideas man.
- Inventory
Phone
Wallet - Student Card, Organ Donor Card, Cash Card
Keys
Pen
Trampled Flowers
Coins
Tissues
£12.00
Iron Man 2 Ticket Stub
Pills
Large Knives
Corpse in a Rug
Shovel
"Bury him where I piss." I say, throwing the TRAMPLED FLOWERS, before unzipping my fly and unleashing a torrent of urine on the WOMAN's shoes.
"WHAT THE FUCK?!" the WOMAN screams and slaps me.
ANGRY WOMAN's attacking me. What should I do? FIGHT, FLEE or BLOCK?
I'm not too sure I can talk my way out of this...
"WHAT THE FUCK?!" the WOMAN screams and slaps me.
ANGRY WOMAN's attacking me. What should I do? FIGHT, FLEE or BLOCK?
I'm not too sure I can talk my way out of this...