Dad uses Facebook to teach daughter a lesson.

[Sylveria]

Him throwing a temper tantrum worse than hers and treating a gun like a toy just shows that he doesn't deserve the respect he's demanding. The point at which you have to pull out a gun to get respect from your kid is the point at which you have failed as a parent, and a person.

He seemed pretty calm to me and seemed to treat the gun with a lot of respect. He took it outside, away from people, and fired on a target on the ground. He didn't whip it out, swing it around, aim it at the kid, or fire it in anger. You make it sound like he held it to his daughter's head and said "RESPECT ME!" which he obviously did not.

If he ran the laptop over a saw, would you say "The point you need to pull out a saw to get respect from a kid is when you have failed as a parent..etc.etc"? No, cause that would sound retarded. What if he blew it up with a firecracker, would you say the same thing then? No. Cause again, it would sound stupid. What if he just stomped the living shit out of it with his boot? You're criticizing the method he used to destroy the object like it actually matters, which it doesn't and you know it doesn't.

You're just attempting to be alarmist and undermine his point cause he used a gun instead of any other method of demolition and it makes you come off like some anti-firearm hippie who's totally warping the point and purpose of the video to push your own agenda and philosophy.

Or, I know, would you prefer he did what most "Southern" parents do and just beat the crap out of the girl to teach her some respect? Cause it seems to me like your issue isn't with him disciplining her, but that he did it an a theatrical fashion. Maybe, in your mind, child abuse is a better method to get the point across.

 

[kgpspyguy]

He destroyed it on camera to make a point to his daughter, it wouldn't have had the same effect if he had said "this is your laptop on the ground...I'm giving it away"

 

[Archroy]

I haven't read everything in this topic since I last posted, so somebody else may have made this point.

As a parent, you have to be very careful of what you say and the sanctions that you threaten to apply.
It can be all too easy to become angry and paint yourself into a corner and end up applying a punishment that you promised, which you later wish that you hadn't, because of the severity thereof.
Or, you do not do as you said and show yourself to be unwilling to keep your word.

The issue he now faces is that of escalation. What on earth does he do the next time his daughter acts up? Where do you go after shooting a computer and posting it on youtube?

 

[kgpspyguy]

Him throwing a temper tantrum worse than hers and treating a gun like a toy just shows that he doesn't deserve the respect he's demanding. The point at which you have to pull out a gun to get respect from your kid is the point at which you have failed as a parent, and a person.

He seemed pretty calm to me and seemed to treat the gun with a lot of respect. He took it outside, away from people, and fired on a target on the ground. He didn't whip it out, swing it around, aim it at the kid, or fire it in anger. You make it sound like he held it to his daughter's head and said "RESPECT ME!" which he obviously did not.

If he ran the laptop over a saw, would you say "The point you need to pull out a saw to get respect from a kid is when you have failed as a parent..etc.etc"? No, cause that would sound retarded. What if he blew it up with a firecracker, would you say the same thing then? No. Cause again, it would sound stupid. What if he just stomped the living shit out of it with his boot? You're criticizing the method he used to destroy the object like it actually matters, which it doesn't and you know it doesn't.

You're just attempting to be alarmist and undermine his point cause he used a gun instead of any other method of demolition and it makes you come off like some anti-firearm hippie who's totally warping the point and purpose of the video to push your own agenda and philosophy.

Or, I know, would you prefer he did what most "Southern" parents do and just beat the crap out of the girl to teach her some respect? Cause it seems to me like your issue isn't with him disciplining her, but that he did it an a theatrical fashion. Maybe, in your mind, child abuse is a better method to get the point across.

 

[kgpspyguy]

Good lord Sylveria...I think you might be the smartest person on this site.

 

[Sylveria]

snip

Again. We cannot. Trust. Him. You're taking his word at face value: I'm saying he's setting up red flags that suggest that he just might be an abuser, and his daughter was not exaggerating at all -- and heck, if he is an abuser, she was more likely to /minimize/ than exaggerate. You can never trust the word of an abuser about the people they abuse: ergo, I won't be satisfied that he's /not/ an abuser until we have a quote from someone who isn't directly involved -- or at least, someone who isn't either the accused abuser or the people who depend on him for survival. You accuse me of not having done any research on controlling abusers: have you done any research on either such abusers, or the people they abuse? Because I have, and I say again, he fits the profile.

Arm-chair psychology is a beautiful thing isn't it. You have your doctorate in behavioral and development psychology right? I mean, you're making ALL these assumptions and deductions based on video and a facebook posting, so you must be a leader in the field to be able to establish a concrete profile based on such little input.

Cause if you were, hypothetically, some college kid who took a semester or two of psychology and maybe did a research paper on the subject cause you yourself were in an abusive relationship and now have an in-grown bias which causes you to generalize all parental-authority figures to be abusers, it would really take away from your credibility on this article and damage all your future credibility since it would appear you're trying to push your agenda on situations where you have only the most minimal anecdotal evidence.

 

[Owyn_Merrilin]

snip

Again. We cannot. Trust. Him. You're taking his word at face value: I'm saying he's setting up red flags that suggest that he just might be an abuser, and his daughter was not exaggerating at all -- and heck, if he is an abuser, she was more likely to /minimize/ than exaggerate. You can never trust the word of an abuser about the people they abuse: ergo, I won't be satisfied that he's /not/ an abuser until we have a quote from someone who isn't directly involved -- or at least, someone who isn't either the accused abuser or the people who depend on him for survival. You accuse me of not having done any research on controlling abusers: have you done any research on either such abusers, or the people they abuse? Because I have, and I say again, he fits the profile.

Arm-chair psychology is a beautiful thing isn't it. You have your doctorate in behavioral and development psychology right? I mean, you're making ALL these assumptions and deductions based on video and a facebook posting, so you must be a leader in the field to be able to establish a concrete profile based on such little input.

Cause if you were, hypothetically, some college kid who took a semester or two of psychology and maybe did a research paper on the subject cause you yourself were in an abusive relationship and now have an in-grown bias which causes you to generalize all parental-authority figures to be abusers, it would really take away from your credibility on this article and damage all your future credibility since it would appear you're trying to push your agenda on situations where you have only the most minimal anecdotal evidence.

As I've said numerous times in this thread, the important thing isn't whether or not my armchair diagnosis was the right one. The point is whether or not the man is an abuser -- and he's certainly shown signs of it. A sane parent never would have done what he did in this video, especially not with something as benign as his daughter's "rant" as the reason. It's not armchair psychology to say what I said about how you can't trust the word of the criminal when it comes to the crime. And that's what child abuse is: a crime.

Edit: Matter of fact, as an education major, if I were done with my degree and working, I would be ethically (and legally) obligated to report any suspected child abuse -- in fact, as an intern, I already am. I strongly suspect child abuse from this man, and the only thing that's keeping me from picking up the phone right now is that he lives in another state and I've never met him personally.

 

[Evilpigeon]

Him throwing a temper tantrum worse than hers and treating a gun like a toy just shows that he doesn't deserve the respect he's demanding. The point at which you have to pull out a gun to get respect from your kid is the point at which you have failed as a parent, and a person.

He seemed pretty calm to me and seemed to treat the gun with a lot of respect. He took it outside, away from people, and fired on a target on the ground. He didn't whip it out, swing it around, aim it at the kid, or fire it in anger. You make it sound like he held it to his daughter's head and said "RESPECT ME!" which he obviously did not.

If he ran the laptop over a saw, would you say "The point you need to pull out a saw to get respect from a kid is when you have failed as a parent..etc.etc"? No, cause that would sound retarded. What if he blew it up with a firecracker, would you say the same thing then? No. Cause again, it would sound stupid. What if he just stomped the living shit out of it with his boot? You're criticizing the method he used to destroy the object like it actually matters, which it doesn't and you know it doesn't.

You're just attempting to be alarmist and undermine his point cause he used a gun instead of any other method of demolition and it makes you come off like some anti-firearm hippie who's totally warping the point and purpose of the video to push your own agenda and philosophy.

Or, I know, would you prefer he did what most "Southern" parents do and just beat the crap out of the girl to teach her some respect? Cause it seems to me like your issue isn't with him disciplining her, but that he did it an a theatrical fashion. Maybe, in your mind, child abuse is a better method to get the point across.

Guys, guys... Hey, Guys!

Objecting to someone going wayyyy too far in revenge for an ungrateful internet post is the same as suggesting that said parent should beat thier children behind closed doors.... Does this mean I'm secretly a terrorist if I object to my country going to war?

You can teach your daughter a lesson without posting it all over the web, as soon as you expose it publicly so that people can cheer you on for sinking lower than your child, any valid points that you might have had go out the window and you're left with a father boasting online about how he revenged himself on his teenage daughter.

 

[JdaS]

I'm gonna go with what must be the majority of responses here. That kid is out of her tiny mind if she's complaining about chores and disrespecting her parents on Facebook when obviously her daddy has ways to see that shit. As a guy who washes the dishes BY HAND not none of that machine bullshit, I could go on a tangent about her bitching about emptying the washing machine, but I won't.

Daddy-o going the "AMERICAN WAY" and shooting holes in the computer. With a gun. Fucking stupid.

 

[Pandabearparade]

He took it outside, away from people, and fired on a target on the ground.
He didn't whip it out, swing it around, aim it at the kid, or fire it in anger.

Near the end he sounded angry to me.

You make it sound like he held it to his daughter's head and said "RESPECT ME!" which he obviously did not.

No, he didn't. I don't recall inplying he did. What's your point? If he did it would be time to call the police.

If he ran the laptop over a saw, would you say "The point you need to pull out a saw to get respect from a kid is when you have failed as a parent..etc.etc"? No, cause that would sound retarded.

I'd say that running a computer over a saw is a great way to make a mess.

What if he blew it up with a firecracker, would you say the same thing then?

Well, it depends. Are we talking about actual explosives or cheap Wal-Mart ones? If the former, then yes, I'd say the same thing. That would actually be worse, because there would be a real risk of injury.

No. Cause again, it would sound stupid. What if he just stomped the living shit out of it with his boot?

Yes, I'd criticize that too, though for different reasons. It shows an over-reaction on his part, where simply pawning it or throwing it into a dumpster would not.

You're criticizing the method he used to destroy the object like it actually matters, which it doesn't and you know it doesn't.

Whipping a gun out while disciplining a child, even if you aren't pointing it at the child, is still a clear show of force that a parent simply shouldn't need to use to get respect.

You're just attempting to be alarmist and undermine his point cause he used a gun instead of any other method of demolition

I'm not trying to undermine his point, I'm pointing out that he is reacting like a big baby himself.

and it makes you come off like some anti-firearm hippie who's totally warping the point and purpose of the video to push your own agenda and philosophy.

I think you're projecting, here. I'm not anti-firearm, I believe in the right to own guns and I don't think the government should ever be able to strip that right. Ever.

As I said, it's a gun, not a toy. It needs to be treated with respect, and using it to punish your daughter for whining on the internets is not treating it with the respect due.

Or, I know, would you prefer he did what most "Southern" parents do and just beat the crap out of the girl to teach her some respect?

Wow, way to beat that straw man. I bet it respects you a lot now.

Cause it seems to me like your issue isn't with him disciplining her, but that he did it an a theatrical fashion.

He did it in a childish fashion.

Maybe, in your mind, child abuse is a better method to get the point across.

Three logical fallacies for the price of one! A straw man, a non sequitur, -and- a false dichotomy! What a bargain!

No, me disapproving of how he went about punishing his daughter does not mean I would approve of him hitting her, but those aren't the only two possible options. I'd politely ask that you respond to what I said, and not what you think I meant, thanks.

 

[Dastardly]

This is a defense wife beaters have used whenever the wife questions their abusive ways. Its a trap, don't fall into it. The girl may very well be a sulking teenager, but why assume that someone with a well paying job that can afford to buy his family nice things is a good person?

Assume? No. But it certainly seems grounds to go with the "innocent until proven guilty" approach. Or "benefit of the doubt," if you like. By and large, responsible adults have less reason to lie than slighted children. So all I'm saying here is, if we're going to put the burden of proof on anyone in this situation, it seems to me it's on the kid.

 

[Dastardly]

Again. We cannot. Trust. Him. You're taking his word at face value: I'm saying he's setting up red flags that suggest that he just might be an abuser, and his daughter was not exaggerating at all -- and heck, if he is an abuser, she was more likely to /minimize/ than exaggerate.

It's nice of you to paint the flags red and throw them up for us, but it's far more you than him.

You can never trust the word of an abuser about the people they abuse: ergo, I won't be satisfied that he's /not/ an abuser until we have a quote from someone who isn't directly involved -- or at least, someone who isn't either the accused abuser or the people who depend on him for survival.

Great policy. You know, if you're some kind of Orwellian government. "I'll assume you are the absolute worst person in the world until you prove to me that you're not... which I'll probably ignore anyway."

You're treating the guy as an abuser before anything in any way could have determined whether or not he IS AN ABUSER AT ALL. That's preposterous.

You accuse me of not having done any research on controlling abusers: have you done any research on either such abusers, or the people they abuse? Because I have, and I say again, he fits the profile.

Yes, I have. It comes up a lot in my line of work, and we have to deal with it very carefully because of all the twists and turns. This guy doesn't fit the profile. If he did, she wouldn't be encouraged to get a job, she wouldn't have had a laptop, and probably wouldn't be allowed to access the internet on anything but a one-user-per-day basis on the computer in the middle of the family room, so dad can watch over her shoulder.

Also, if he were an abuser, it's far less likely that a video like this would have been made, much less made public, as any smart "abuser" knows better than to draw scrutiny onto oneself.

You're cherry-picking signs and signals because, for some reason, you need this man to be an abuser. Maybe it's a personal trauma you're working through, or maybe it's just scratching some activist itch, but it's definitely all over what you're doing here.

 

[ckam]

The gun was a bit excessive... Yeah, Americans...

 

[Owyn_Merrilin]

This is a defense wife beaters have used whenever the wife questions their abusive ways. Its a trap, don't fall into it. The girl may very well be a sulking teenager, but why assume that someone with a well paying job that can afford to buy his family nice things is a good person?

Assume? No. But it certainly seems grounds to go with the "innocent until proven guilty" approach. Or "benefit of the doubt," if you like. By and large, responsible adults have less reason to lie than slighted children. So all I'm saying here is, if we're going to put the burden of proof on anyone in this situation, it seems to me it's on the kid.

Did you even watch the same video I did? The man boy took it way too far, going from discipline to outright emotional abuse[footnote]if destroying her laptop with a gun didn't fit that bill on its own, posting it on a listed youtube video with a link to a public facebook profile did. She told a little over 400 people that she was unhappy with her father. He told the world that he was punishing her for "disrespect."[/footnote], and he did it with the sort of calm, quiet anger usually reserved for sociopaths on bad TV movies. How is he /not/ the primary suspect for "person in wrong" here?

 

[Owyn_Merrilin]

Again. We cannot. Trust. Him. You're taking his word at face value: I'm saying he's setting up red flags that suggest that he just might be an abuser, and his daughter was not exaggerating at all -- and heck, if he is an abuser, she was more likely to /minimize/ than exaggerate.

It's nice of you to paint the flags red and throw them up for us, but it's far more you than him.

You can never trust the word of an abuser about the people they abuse: ergo, I won't be satisfied that he's /not/ an abuser until we have a quote from someone who isn't directly involved -- or at least, someone who isn't either the accused abuser or the people who depend on him for survival.

Great policy. You know, if you're some kind of Orwellian government. "I'll assume you are the absolute worst person in the world until you prove to me that you're not... which I'll probably ignore anyway."

You're treating the guy as an abuser before anything in any way could have determined whether or not he IS AN ABUSER AT ALL. That's preposterous.

You accuse me of not having done any research on controlling abusers: have you done any research on either such abusers, or the people they abuse? Because I have, and I say again, he fits the profile.

Yes, I have. It comes up a lot in my line of work, and we have to deal with it very carefully because of all the twists and turns. This guy doesn't fit the profile. If he did, she wouldn't be encouraged to get a job, she wouldn't have had a laptop, and probably wouldn't be allowed to access the internet on anything but a one-user-per-day basis on the computer in the middle of the family room, so dad can watch over her shoulder.

Also, if he were an abuser, it's far less likely that a video like this would have been made, much less made public, as any smart "abuser" knows better than to draw scrutiny onto oneself.

You're cherry-picking signs and signals because, for some reason, you need this man to be an abuser. Maybe it's a personal trauma you're working through, or maybe it's just scratching some activist itch, but it's definitely all over what you're doing here.

There are different forms of abuse. This guy strikes me as someone who likes to make things all about him; why on earth /wouldn't/ he post this for the world to see if he thought it would make him look like a hero? The responses in this thread are proof enough that people are taking his side. That's the best defense an abuser has: "he's such a great person, he would /never/ do that!" As for the job and the laptop: he's using them both as means of control. Sounds pretty abusive to me.

Edit: Also, I'm not advocating guilty until proven innocent. I am advocating that in a he-said she-said situation, you can't take the word of only one side as proof. We've seen the video, which is disturbing enough on it's own, and we haven't heard a peep from his daughter, just what he has relayed to us. I hope if you really do deal with abused children every day of your life, you do more research than just taking their parents statements at face value.

 

[Neyon]

Guns are not designed to protect, guns are designed to kill.

 

[Phisi]

Actually it is a right in America and that's not going to be changed so you're wrong

Though I agree it was wrong to use a .45 like I said in the other thread. A 12 gauge with buckshot would've been about 20% cooler

It's not a right in the bill of human rights but I think he should have put the laptop on an alter and used a giant flaming axe while dressed up like Satan with metal playing in the background XD

 

[Dramerc]

Last Statement by me cause i'm fucking sick of the liberal toss pots saying normal teenager

I'M 17 and i fucking hate my generation you that defend them for thier outbursts re-enforces the reason i fucking hate my generation beat them tell them off warn them but dont let them get away with it too soft too fucking cowardly only the extreme right and extreme left would know what to do you all make me sick to the stomach for my nation to even defeat the nazis or stand up to the CCCP thats the USSR to all you brain dead scum fucks so thank you for making the world a shiter place

 

[Dramerc]

Guns are not designed to protect, guns are designed to kill.

correction a tool to kill cause people kill people guns dont