Deciding not to have children (socially unacceptable?)

[barryween]

I don't think your idea is all that weird. And your reasoning is beyond "CUZ CHILLDRNZ R STOOPIDZ!!!!!@1!!!1" I actually like your reasoning. I do want to have kids, but i Don't think people who don't are weird. Different things make different people happy I guess.

 

[Nickolai77]

I think having no children is fine- in fact i recall reading a study which showed that couples of choose to be childless are generally more happy- i think its because if you don't have children, your able to put more effort into work, and since you don't have to spend money on children, which are expensive, you are going to be pretty rich. Which is probably why these childless couples are more happy.

I would warn you however is that most women want children, and this could put you at a disadvantage when it comes to dating in your mid-late twenties where women are looking for men to settle down with.

 

[Hoppetussa]

I'm still too young to make that decision, but I hate kids and I can't imagine myself having one. I should probably neuter myself before it's too late.

 

[TwistedEllipses]

Two reasons.
1 - Some people still have a weird traditional view of how everyone should live their lives with 2.4 children and a 1950's housewife.
2 - Having kids is also seen as been successful in maintaining the race, judging from who has children this idea of success is flawed in some cases...

Most kids and teenagers seem put off by the idea, but warm to having children later in life. Especially in middle age when the menopause sets in.

 

[EeveeElectro]

When I'm 21 I want to be sterilized... that doesn't go down too well

 

[Dooly95]

Most people have it ingrained into them that children = continuation of species = good. It's that simple.

Nevermind the fact that we're slowly overpopulating the world and either needs a great huge war between the two big superpowers to get rid of some or find a reliable source of transportation outside of this world and into say, Mars.

Mars would have some dome then, though that people don't die of asphyxiation or something.


Depends on who you discuss this with, I guess... look at the general consensus on this forum!

 

[A random person]

People have instincts to perform their one goal, reproduction. This stigma against being childfree is probably part of it. Or they'd probably just view people who choose not to have kids as selfish.

As for me, I'll probably have kids, but not until me and my wife are making very good money and know what the fuck we're doing. Also, I'd limit how many since a few smart, healthy kids are better than several 'tards. I'd just have two, and if there's a third one I'm having a vasectomy.

It would be interesting having a little version of me to teach about video games and the internet to.

 

[historybuff]

I don't want kids either. And because I'm female--I get this speech from my dad, "Well, all women want to have kids!"

So totally feel your pain. People act with such disbelief and derision like we could never know whether or not we want children--or like, deep down we really do--or that we're just inhumane psychos who hate children. It's weird.

But then, my family is made up of extremely religious, conservative Republican psychopaths [the homophobic, intolerant ones that make other Republicans look bad]--so in their eyes, I haven't accomplished anything until I get married and start having brats.

 

[SirCannonFodder]

I wouldn't want to have kids of my own, for two main reasons: 1. There's already 7 billion of us, and we really, really don't need even more of us. 2. I have a wonderful variety of genetic problems (such as being predisposed to depression, and a very strong (like, 1/3) family history of SCA6 [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spinocerebellar_ataxia_type-6]). If I ever did want a kid, I'd adopt.

 

[Wadders]

I think I'd like to have kids, not too many, but enough.

I don't think I hate kids, I'd just hate other people's kids.

But yeah, I'd want someone who I can bring up, and show the ways of the world, and watch them develop from a gargling hairless ball of flab into a fully fledged person.

And I also have some kind of outdated, archaic desire for my family name to continue, as I'm the young only male in my fathers side of the family.

Don't worry though I'm not gonna do what Chinese fathers did in response to the 1 child policy and kill/ abandon my daughters until I get a son to carry my name on...

EDIT: I just realised that I totally missed the point of the thread, so here goes:

The whole thing about choosing not to have kids, and the lack of respect (maybe?) that comes from that choice probably has to do with when, in times gone by, children were seen as something useful to have around, rather than a kind of luxury. For less affluent families, having more kids meant that;
A) the more you have, the more likely it was that some would survive into adulthood
B) kids were useful for helping around the house, cooking, collecting firewood, looking after the other kids, etc.
C) Having kids meant you had someone to look after you in old age, as back then there were no care homes etc.
D) You could hopefully marry your daughters off to a richer chappie, and hopefully advance your own position, socially and financially.

So yeah, the negative reaction to a decision to not have kids is probably a throwback to earlyer times, when kids were needed for day to day survival

 

[bodyklok]

I wouldn't mind having kids, but it would have to be a decision both me and my partner decided on together.

But like I said, it doesn't bother me. I know that I'd be a great dad if I had any children.

I don't think it's unacceptable though, perhaps it's seen as odd but not unacceptable. People have been not having kids for thousands of years. Also, from a evolutionary stand point if a few million people don't have kids, then the gene pool isn't likely to suffer that much.

 

[Embright]

This leads to quite a conundrum. On one hand if you are intelligent enough to rationally decide whether or not children are a good idea and weigh both sides of that argument in order to come up with a worthwhile decision, many people in the world who are dumb as bricks don't and have (many) children anyways.

So while I'm assuming you are intelligent because it seems you are thinking, without children you are merely helping the global statistical average of human intelligence slide left.

 

[faselei]

I'm going to have to ask how old you are, as you didn't state.

Generally with friends and family, a desire to start a family of their own doesn't come up until late 20's or into their 30's.

 

[A random person]

Two reasons.
1 - Some people still have a weird traditional view of how everyone should live their lives with 2.4 children and a 1950's housewife.
2 - Having kids is also seen as been successful in maintaining the race, judging from who has children this idea of success is flawed in some cases...

Most kids and teenagers seem put off by the idea, but warm to having children later in life. Especially in middle age when the menopause sets in.

It's probably because kids and teenagers don't know how to raise kids and can't get the money needed. Later on when you have money you'd probably want some, like most people.

And yes, some people have that traditional 50's sitcom view of things for some reason. And I wouldn't consider our population our measure of success, since those who have a lot of kids tend to be poor and stupid, and having several kids at once probably isn't too good for them or the parents.

 

[Tears of Blood]

I HATE CHILDREN.

...

Uhh, anyway.

We discussed this in sociology. This idea of not having kids is slowly becoming more socially acceptable. While in the past, it was looked down upon. I mean, it is, afterall, sort of our duty as a species to procreate.

It's really too bad, though. It seems to me that the people who don't have kids are generally people who should have them, continue on their genes, while people who should never ever have any business being a parent tend to become parents the most. The average intelligence of the entire world seems to be dropping because of genetic predispositions and retarded parenting.

I'd call for something to be done, but nothing can be done, not without taking away freedom and all of that overrated malarky we prattle on about these days.

 

[Nerotharis]

If you don't want them then don't have them because you wont be happy. That's how I see it, and I don't really want the little shits either mostly because I don't like to be pissed off 24/7 which I usually am anyway.

 

[faselei]

I HATE CHILDREN.

But there's a gap between being a child and getting to the stage where you feel you might some of your own when kids are just an annoying irrelevance. That's just the way it goes.

 

[Stormz]

The way I see it is that we already have to many kids being born. We already have a population problem and the average teenager has kids to use them like an accessory instead of a human being.

I'm not sure if I'll ever have kids but right now I'm happy not thinking about it until the times comes.

 

[Tears of Blood]

I HATE CHILDREN.

But there's a gap between being a child and getting to the stage where you feel you might some of your own when kids are just an annoying irrelevance. That's just the way it goes.

Sorry, I wasn't clear. I have a grudge against children. I have bad childhood memories, and everytime I see a child of elementary school age my gut wrenches a little.

 

[Kiefer13]

Although I haven't really put much thought into it yet (I figure that it's a bit early to be making any kind of concrete decision at this point), I do have doubts over whether I want to have children or not when I'm older (if I did, I certainly wouldn't want any more than two, for various reasons).

On one hand, it would be nice to have people to pass on my knowledge and experience to. On the other, little kids really annoy me. I'm really not sure I could put up with having to deal with them all the time, and I wouldn't want to be a parent if I didn't think I could do a good job of it. It wouldn't be fair on me, my partner OR the children. I suppose it's something I'll reach a decision on once I get a bit older.

I certainly don't see anything wrong with people that decide not to have children. They're far more responsible than the inbred rednecks with a dozen bratty children that never get raised properly.