Deciding not to have children (socially unacceptable?)

[Phyroxis]

This has confused me too. I mean.. I applaud those who /dont/ have children.. We've got too many people on this rock as it is.

 

[stabnex]

I'm sorry, but the interwubs is no place for serious conversation. End this thread post haste.

 

[thoraxe5000]

I hate kids I would never want any.

 

[Fallingwater]

If you all of a sudden meet the girl of your dreams & you win the lottery, I think babies may come more to mind a little bit

If the only reason one doesn't want them is because of monetary problems then yes, but if it's a precise lifestyle choice then you could become a millionaire and still not want children.

 

[savior in death]

I too have been ridiculed for not wanting kids but then again I am a female....everybody finds it weird that I dislike the little buggers with a passion.... i either get the bible thumpers or they just walk away.

 

[ProfessorLayton]

If you don't think you would be a good parent, then it's best that you don't start a family. It's your choice, actually, and I don't think people should tell you to do something like this if you don't want to.

 

[Mstrswrd]

Everyone hates that the guy who didn't have kids is successful because he was smart enough not to have those bastards.

I'm gonna go with this one, mostly because I agree.

To the OP, people often give me simmilar looks for the same reason, until I describe exactly how much I detest the little buggers. Often times, I think I may have actually scared people with my intense dislike (read: hatred) of children.

 

[Faps]

I've got a 3 year old little girl who was kind of an accident, but don't tell her, and I love her pieces.

I wasn't crazy about having kids before we had her, helping my parents to look after my two younger sisters had put me off the idea of having kids of my own quite a bit and I still had my doubts during the pregnancy but all the changed about 5 seconds after I first held her. As cliche as it sounds, holding her just changed everything and I've loved every second of being a dad since then.

I'd say don't knock it till you've tried it but.....

 

[Flying-Emu]

I have made the decision that I wouldn't ever want children. I think it's a pretty reasonable decision seeing as how I'm not generally interested in starting a family or have any real desire reasons to have children. I'm not the model "Family man" while I love them, I have grown tired of living with my mother and sister, and the parallel between "Mother and Sibling" and "Wife and Children" are close enough for me to know that it would be a mistake for me to start a family knowing I would regret it later on, and live miserably.

However, I do not think starting a family in general is a mistake. I don't look down on anyone who does, but whenever the subject is brought up and I mention that I wouldn't ever want kids, the reaction is usually surprise and unbelief, as if it's absurd or immature to make such a decision, as if it's expected and necessary for every single human to start a family.

It's not as if there's an immediate problem with the world population being too low, so I must ask, why does the notion of never having children seem so unacceptable to the general public?

Not trying to influence you one way or another here, but there is a chance that, as you age, you'll start to relish the notion of starting a family more and more. Perhaps, subconsciously, you realize that you'd be unable to care for a child in your current financial/emotional state. A lot of people I know didn't want to have children when they were younger, and as they aged, they say they had no idea what they were thinking about.

Give it time before completely giving up.

 

[Zephirius]

I'd want a kid eventually. I'd probably adopt though, because I can't stand babies and especially toddlers. I'm exhausted from spending one afternoon with my 4-year-old brother.
I do not, EVER, want to spend multiple years like that.

Oh, and then there's my other-people's-poo-phobia.

But yeah, seeing his/her interests and personality develop could be interesting.

 

[E-mantheseeker]

But yeah, seeing his/her interests and personality develop could be interesting.

That is the only interesting aspect of raising children I could logically come up with, seeing how my actions and teachings would affect the characteristics of another human being that is (basically) an alternate version of myself. However, it is just an interesting thought, it wouldn't be fair to have a child based on the thought, "I wonder how interesting they will turn out to be"

 

[la-le-lu-li-lo]

Well, since we indeed have enough humans on this earth... Your decision is perfectly acceptable.

 

[Danny Ocean]

It's probably because kids and teenagers don't know how to raise kids and can't get the money needed. Later on when you have money you'd probably want some, like most people.

I think it's more of a total disdain for responsability. Money isn't much of an issue, at least not here in the UK, but hell, if a girl told me she was going to take the pill and then didn't. Well, I'm morally obliged to help, but I really, really wouldn't want to. Hell, I might not. Most dads say they will and then don't anyway, why not just cut out the time wasted?

 

[ScarlettRage]

i just don't want kids period.
i have 3 little siblings and they are enough birth control for me
my man doesn't care so its kinda win-win for me
i would have one if he wanted one... but theres also stuff about myself
i don't want to pass onto a child.

HANDS UP: if you were made fun of in elementry(sorry my spelling sucks) school?

thats why.

that and i hate changing littles kids..>_> *grumbles* getting my clothes dirty and disturbing my sleep paturn... uhhhh

 

[DiamondJim]

Don't want 'em? Don't have 'em. Seriously, it's good that you think this stuff through ahead of time. Parents who don't want kids or are ill-equipped to handle them are the bane of my existence. I won't judge you for opting out; if it makes you happy and it isn't hurting anyone, who cares?

Personally, I plan to have kids someday, but when I am ready. I like the thought of being able to raise another human being, in the hopes of them making a difference in someone's life like I (hopefully) will have done. I dunno, sounds kinda silly written down, but I guess that's my empathetic side. It's part of the 'human experience' in my mind, and I'd very much like to experience it.

But I want a while to exercise my youth and social life first. >.>

 

[koichan]

Myself, i'm totally on the fence in the matter. I'm really not sure i want children but i wouldn't mind them either.

Sadly i don't think i'll ever get the choice though as i'm nearly 30 and all but given up on having a relationship that doesn't fall apart after a month anyway, so it's a completely moot point.

As for the socially acceptable thing, i get the impression it would have been a big thing for my parent's generation, but not for mine.

I know many friends of my age (and of those, 2 that have been happily married for many years) that openly admit they never want children and nobody has ever even mentioned it as a concern.

 

[Chrissyluky]

i want kids but i want to make sure a marriage is going to last before i have a child.(plus i want to get all the fooling around out of my system before i have children)

 

[JamminOz07]

I have made the decision that I wouldn't ever want children. I think it's a pretty reasonable decision seeing as how I'm not generally interested in starting a family or have any real desire reasons to have children. I'm not the model "Family man" while I love them, I have grown tired of living with my mother and sister, and the parallel between "Mother and Sibling" and "Wife and Children" are close enough for me to know that it would be a mistake for me to start a family knowing I would regret it later on, and live miserably.

However, I do not think starting a family in general is a mistake. I don't look down on anyone who does, but whenever the subject is brought up and I mention that I wouldn't ever want kids, the reaction is usually surprise and unbelief, as if it's absurd or immature to make such a decision, as if it's expected and necessary for every single human to start a family.

It's not as if there's an immediate problem with the world population being too low, so I must ask, why does the notion of never having children seem so unacceptable to the general public?

Edit: I'm less than 3 months away from my 20th birthday, just in case you might be wondering. Also, I'm fully aware of the possibility that I may change my mind in the future, however, the decision has come from careful consideration and logical thinking, I do not thinking chalking it up to my age counts in my case, although I do keep in mind that it's a possibility.

The reason you get surprise and unbelief is because you're 19. You have absolutely no idea how much your views and ideas will change over the next 20 years, despite your "careful consideration and logical thinking". The truth of the matter is that your thinking is based on your life experiences, and over the next 20 years, in fact for the rest of your life, your experiences and thinking will be constantly evolving to the point where you will look back at when you were 19 and ask yourself "What was I thinking?".

Plus you'll probably hook up with a chick who wants kids...

 

[Bat Vader]

Myself I don't want kids. People find me weird for saying it but I don't care. I could care less about what society says. It is my decision and also my future wifes decision as well. If I have a future wife that is.

I may just stay single so that I really can't have children.