Defending yourself: Peers' answers to not so every day problems
- Thread starter SamFancyPants252
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This. As I currently lack anything sufficiently lethal the only other choice is run. When I am older I will have more then enough lethal devices to make anything other then a surprise attack (he broke down the door, I know where he is) foolish. I figure I could just spray bullets through the wall to tear him up.Berethond said:
After the phone call, i would be waiting for the murderer to reveal him or herself. I would be carefully listening to see how much noise he or she made breaking into my house, i would then gauge the professionalism of the assassin by that very simple statistic. The assassin made one large thump, as if it we're "Javier Bardem" in No Country for Old Men using that gas powered lock destroyer thing. While i heard the assassin creeping up my stairs, especially noticing that my first, seventh, and eleventh stair make uncompromisingly loud noises. I then knew it had to be a Male aged between 17 & 37, 185 pounds, very lean and wearing some kind of anti-print cover under the shoes. i barricade my door with my heavy three seat leather sofa, and grab my x40 scope lever action rifle and get prone position underneath my small wooden computer desk. By this time i had taken all necessary precautions like shutting my windows in case of a grenade be tossed in, or some kind of gas canister. I needn't lock my door as a simple kick was suffice the cheap thing, the assassin tries exactly three times to attempt entry to my simple but effective fortress, he fails. Then i hear a loud smash cracking open the door at a 45 degree angle, so the door lays horizontally across the leather sofa. He looked me straight in the eye right through my rifle lens, he bared no mask, nor a look of shock, slowly lifting his high caliber custom Dessert Eagle towards his own head. A ray of emotion hit me like a 747 hits the sea, with amazingly high levels of confusion and horror. By the time he blew the trigger Leaving the remains of his head all over my hallway, like that horrific scene in Pulp Fiction, where the gun goes off towards the backseat of the car exploding the receivers head like a balloon full of tomato soup. We both knew he had been beaten fair and square and so he died with some self dignified passion, that only me and him will ever truly understand.
Grab the ball point at my desk and pray for 2 things:
1. That the assassin is armed with a knife or blade of sorts
2. That the pen is, infact, mightier than the sword
Its so crazy it just might work...or I'll be a bloody mess on the carpet very quickly.
1. That the assassin is armed with a knife or blade of sorts
2. That the pen is, infact, mightier than the sword
Its so crazy it just might work...or I'll be a bloody mess on the carpet very quickly.
The acoustic guitar in the corner. I'd hate to smash it but if it's my life on the line I guess I'd have to. If not, my ukulele, mainly for that WTF?!? value but I guess I could wield it pretty well.
first id grab my pants because as pleasing as it would be to a male visitor i would sooner wear pants. In all due seriousness i would grab my katana(i have a casing in my room gaven to me by my grandfather)
Lets see I have three swords less then a metre away from me. An old Ka-Bar near may bed and a fully loaded Type 89 at the foot of it.
Bring it on.
Bring it on.
I've got a wooden sword behind the door. I'd probably grab that. It's one piece of solid oak, I think.
Also, there are 2 small tactical folding knives at a table by our couch, and our dog hates strangers.
Also, there are 2 small tactical folding knives at a table by our couch, and our dog hates strangers.
Yeah, this pretty much. In the average room, there are over 300 things I can use to kill an invading assassin. including the room, and his own limbsAmbitious Sloth said:
More realistically, I would grab the lamp next to me and spear him. To clarify, it's one of those 5'6" wooden poles with the light bulb on top, and mine is missing the lampshade, so it would make a nasty weapon
I'd just be like HA HA! I'm a motherfucking Templar!
Wait no... the Templars lose in Assassins Creed.
[small][sub]Back to the drawing board.[/sub][/small]
Wait no... the Templars lose in Assassins Creed.
[small][sub]Back to the drawing board.[/sub][/small]
my throwing knives and longest sword to stab him with as soon as he entered my room, which is set up so he wouldnt immediately see me.
id go for the junction between his chest and arm to disarm him of his weapon than stab him in the throat. or, if hes vulnerable, snatch his weapon away and stab both his insteps (very painful)
in other news. i have three dogs who hear people before they even touch our front door so id have a much better warning.
id go for the junction between his chest and arm to disarm him of his weapon than stab him in the throat. or, if hes vulnerable, snatch his weapon away and stab both his insteps (very painful)
in other news. i have three dogs who hear people before they even touch our front door so id have a much better warning.
The mountains of emergency cash and "inventory" under my bed, so that I may bribe the assassin to take out his former employer.
My library copy of The God Delusion. I read aloud from it fast as ****. He agrees with every single point in the book, and the existential crisis he goes through lets me run away without him noticing.