DnD stories

[Mookie_Magnus]

The other day, we were playing with level 1 characters in a randomized dungeon. The party was a Human Fighter(me), an Elf Druid, a Human Monk, and an Elf Ranger. I was the only 'Good' aligned character, everyone else was 'evil' aligned.(Monk was L-E, Ranger C-E, Druid, N-E) Suffice to say, my character had better contribute or he's getting ganked.

Anyway, we were in this room with entrances to the north and west, we try the west door first but it's a huge stone block(hardness 8, hp 80, thickness 4-inches), and it was locked. The other door was a normal wooden door; so I did a trap check. It was trapped; we triggered it with a piece of pottery on the floor, and it dropped a massive guillotine blade that would've done 15hp damage. We were level one characters, I had the most health at 13hp... If I hadn't have 'searched for traps' one of us would've died.


It sucks that I have to work whenever we get together play...

 

[Lucidtransition]

I have to add this in here, its excellent for a good laugh.. this is a campaign that i was running for a few of my buddies a while back.. their party consisted of a completely insane barbarian (and i mean crazy).. an elf that knew nothing of the outside world other than his tree village, and a druid that pretty much disgusted the rest of the group with his tree hugging tendancies.

Anyway, they had just got attacked by a large cat armadillo creature that i had created as a reoocuring monster that was following them.. they ended up getting injured, and so started to head to the nearest church (or tavern, which they figured could ease the pain a bit). after reaching the nearest town, they went to the tavern first, and then to the priest in town for some healing.. meanwhile while they were there, they realised there was a circus in town.. so they decided to see what all the fuss was about.. they spent the next few hours watching men fight beasts for money, and fireworks.. the fireworks really impressed the elf, as he had never seen them before.. so he ofcourse wanted to see if he could buy some.. the crazy barbarian took a stroll off to see the beast master cause he wanted to get in on some of the action while they were still in town.. and the druid... he was kinda pissed about teh whole animal fighting thing.. a disaster immediately ensued.. the poor people of this town never saw it coming.. the elf all excited and chattering went to buy some fireworks.. after being turned down he figured he would just throw a torch in the box of fireworks, and see what happened.. it was sure to be awesome (so he thought). meanwhile the barbarian was also turned down for a fight in the ring with some beasts, as the ring leader was pissed off about soemthing, and was busy counting his money... and the druid... yeah... he was at the animal cages.. setting them free... from all of this, this is what the end seen looked like... The barbarian had the ring leader , dead, over his shoulder, carrying his money box on a hill over looking the town with the elf and the druid there. they looked down at the town which was blowing sparks and explosions everywhere, with wild beasts chasing the poor townsfolk around screaming and running for their lives. the elf and druid looked on in dismay /facepalm as the crazy barbarian decided to bury the ring leader in a shallow grave and uttered "He was a good man" while hugging his money box...

 

[Thief74]

one time my party and i was on a quest to kill a goblin king we were at there out post and i used Disguise (i was a bard) i tryed to gain entrance but my party attacked (because there lame)
i was attacked but then i jumped into a river and from there we got owend

 

[Hiphophippo]

Added note, DnD is the best game ever.

 

[Travdelosmuertos]

In the DnD 4.0 Keep on the Shadowfell campaign, we came across an excavated dragon's grave and had to fight some variation of a dragon (warning, we play kinda gonzo style) My brother's shaman took an idiotic free action to moon the dragon and provoke it toward him, away from my halfling rogue's position stealthed in the trees. He didn't count on the dragon's init. being right below his. The DM made it bite the shaman, critting. He declared that the critical bite took all the flesh from his buttocks, so all he had was a gaping you know what.

So as Nthoggr bled out from a gaping butt wound, I snuck out, still stealthed, making the appropriate check. The dragon was right up against a cliff. I used positioning strike (the DM contested that a halfling could move a dragon of any kind but there was no specific rule to overrule my p.s. I pushed him off the cliff, and the DM announced that the brittle earth the dragon stood on crumbled from the force of the attack and it fell, taking fall damage equal to 1d10 per 10 feet.

The thing was at full health and a whole level above me. I had combat advantage, granting me sneak attack damage. The formula was (1d4+6) + (2d8+1) + (2d10). So, massive damage. Plus, the DM stated that the dragon fell prone until the end of it's next turn, which grants combat advantage. I took my move action, which was to jump down on top of it. The DM made me perform an acrobatics skill check with a ridiculous secret DC that I could never achieve. But, I crit the skill check. "Jesus Christ!" he screamed. He then rolled 2d10 for the damage the I caused to the dragon. 9 on both. "What the hell!" he bellowed. He was really trying to kill us with this one and it blew up in his face. I then threw down an action point and performed my sly flourish. Finishing blow. Then I took my free action to take down my pants and promptly relieve myself into the dragon's eye as he bled out. The DM was just threw his screen and screamed. Single best gaming experience of my life.

 

[ThaBenMan]

In the DnD 4.0 Keep on the Shadowfell campaign, we came across an excavated dragon's grave and had to fight some variation of a dragon.....Single best gaming experience of my life.

Holy hell, that's awesome.

Sadly, I haven't had many chances to play any RPG's, and never played with anyone imaginitive enough (myself included) to have awesome adventures like the ones in this thread. The best I can come up with is a D&D game I was in a few years ago - we were in a dungeon and were attacked by some trolls, so we lured them into a trapped room full of acid mist that we had come across earlier. So, yeah, nothing terribly cool.

 

[nikk2009]

Me and my party consisting of me- a tiefling wizard in a land where the use of arcane magic is forbidden, my roommate - and avenger of the raven queen, our friends- a human cleric, a half orc paladin(both of the raven queen), a halfling bard and last but not least the 8'8" gargantuan barbarian. After being sent to a town to deliver a message to the current ruler of the land (he was not the true king.) On the way to see him We stop at and inn, the Drunken Dragon if I'm not mistaken, the bard decides to try and provide some entertainment (he wrote songs to the tune of beach boys, laughter ensued) The DM makes him take a performance check, a one is rolled. The barbarian was going to drum along, the bard breaks all of the strings on his lute and makes a such a horrible noise that the barbarian cringes and due to his enormous stature he breaks the table he was drumming on in half. He then proceeds to pick up the the bard and throw him over his shoulder and sprints out of the bar. Now here most people would call it quits, go to another inn, not these two. They decide that the bard should sit on the barbarian's shoulders, and that the barbarian barbarian would talk whilst the gnome moves his mouth(they actually did this), they then proceed back into the inn where they are immediately discovered, the barbarian then proceeds to throw the bard over his shoulder and run out of the inn again. I have never laughed so hard in my life

 

[Chrono180]

Not mine but here is my favorite D&D tale:
from Steve Jackson Games website....

Many years ago (back when we all were still playing D & D), I ran a game where I pitted two groups against each other.

Several members of Group One came up with the idea of luring Group Two into a trap. You remember the Hand of Vecna and the Eye of Vecna that were artifacts in the old D&D world where if you cut off your hand (or your eye) and replaced it with the Hand of Vecna (or the Eye) you'd get new awesome powers? Well, Group One thought up The Head of Vecna.

Group One spread rumors all over the countryside (even paying Bards to spread the word about this artifact rumored to exist nearby). They even went so far as to get a real head and place it under some weak traps to help with the illusion. Unfortunately, they forgot to let ALL the members of their group in on the secret plan (I suspect it was because they didn't want the Druid to get caught and tell the enemy about this trap of theirs, or maybe because they didn't want him messing with things).

The Druid in group One heard about this new artifact and went off in search of it himself (I believe to help prove himself to the party members...) Well, after much trial and tribulation, he found it; deactivated (or set off) all the traps; and took his "prize" off into the woods for examination. He discovered that it did not radiate magic (a well known trait of artifacts) and smiled gleefully.

I wasn't really worried since he was alone and I knew that there was no way he could CUT HIS OWN HEAD OFF. Alas I was mistaken as the Druid promptly summoned some carnivorous apes and instructed them to use his own scimitar and cut his head off (and of course quickly replacing it with the Head of Vecna...)

Some time later, Group one decided to find the Druid and to check on the trap. They found the headless body (and the two heads) and realized that they had erred in their plan (besides laughing at the character who had played the Druid)...The Head of Vecna still had BOTH eyes! They corrected this mistake and reset their traps and the Head for it's real intended victims...

Group Two, by this time, had heard of the powerful artifact and decided that it bore investigating since, if true, they could use it to destroy Group One. After much trial and tribulation, they found the resting place of The Head of Vecna! The were particularly impressed with the cunning traps surrounding the site (one almost missed his save against the weakest poison known to man). They recovered the Head and made off to a safe area.

Group Two actually CAME TO BLOWS (several rounds of fighting) against each other argueing over WHO WOULD GET THEIR HEAD CUT OFF! Several greedy players had to be hurt and restrained before it was decided who would be the recipient of the great powers bestowed by the Head... The magician was selected and one of them promptly cut his head off. As the player was lifting The Head of Vecna to emplace it on it's new body, another argument broke out and they spent several minutes shouting and yelling. Then, finally, they put the Head onto the character.

Well, of course, the Head simply fell off the lifeless body. All members of Group Two began yelling and screaming at each other (and at me) and then, on their own, decided that they had let too much time pass between cutting off the head of a hopeful recipient and put the Head of Vecna onto the body.

SO THEY DID IT AGAIN!... [killing another PC]

In closing, it should be said that I never even cracked a smile as all this was going on. After the second PC was slaughtered, I had to give in (my side was hurting)...

And Group Two blamed ME for all of that...

 

[LogicNProportion]

NOTE: We don't play completely legit D&D, but it provides us with some entertaining stories.

My friend and I (he was playing a something...thrower...) were battling some enemy knights on horseback. He keeps rolling natural 20's in everything he does, so he gets the hrose from under him and in mid-air, throws it at another one of the horses, killing the enemy horse and knight he was aiming for, then lands on his feet.

Same friend is robbing a nobleman's house and uses a scroll which lets him fly from the balcony. He's running a bard this time around, and as the guards see him they begin to shoot arrows. He uses his bluff skill, proclaiming "I'M A DRAGON!" which the guards believe and run away, terrified.

I rolled a 1 with an enchanted crossbow and killed Voltron (who was on our side and stemming the tide of orcs).

We were playing a campaign where my friends and I were airship pirates. We're being attacked by Imperial Ships and it's not going well because of the capital ship launching doom upon us. So our captain yells "FULL SPEED AHEAD!" We then get the mage running the magic engine which powers our ship to overload it, and we then jump off onto an enemy ship as our ship crashes into the capital ship, making it 'splode.

In the same airship campaign, the friend who threw the horse and proclaimed he was a dragon got a 1 while firing a Nova Cannon (A cannon we crafted with all of our treasury and other exploits. It fires doom). The DM says it fires through our ship's deck, but forgot that an enemy cruiser was below us and in the line of fire from the Nova Cannon. The enemy cruiser is crit'd upon and 'splodes, while ours is able to stay together, though we have a big hole running down the middle of it. The captain yells "We're taking on air!"

And many, many more.

 

[lostclause]

A recent one in my Star Wars campaign (I was DMing this). The PCs were given the task to wipe out some data that was being carried on a star destroyer, currently orbiting a planet (Wayland I think). Instead of sneaking into the ship to wipe the data, they decide to destroy the thing with all 40,000 enemies on board.

Their plan was to sneak aboard and plant a bomb in the engine which would cause the ship to fall out of orbit, crashing into the planet and destroying the data on board. They freed any prisoners they could find first then set the charges on the engines. They closed all the hangers and fled on a shuttle before detonating the charges remotely. Success.

 

[BookBeast]

I accidentally vaporized a member of my own party once. He was low on HP, being garroted by a bugbear. I, a Paladin, tried to use a radiant-type encounter power on the bugbear. Little did I know that they have the ability to use garroted victims as human (or, in this case, Eladrin) shields...which this one did. Oops.

Fortunately the guy playing the character was not satisfied with him anyway and wanted to create a new one, so there were no hard feelings.

 

[GreyWolf257]

Situation: One of my friends (Rowland) abandoned me and another friend and decided to go to a separate place from us.

Rowland: "I still want to maintain contact with my other teammates, so I will send my Familiar [a hawk] to go inform them of what I am up to."
Me [after getting very pissed off]: "When it gets here I want to seduce it (with my awesomeness)."
Active DM: "Do a roll. I think it will have a DC of 20, plus Charisma."
Me: "Do I get a bonus for being a Ranger?"
DM: "The fuck? Let me see [does a percentile roll]. Yes, a plus 2. Why not?"
Me: [I roll a 16, plus 4 for Charisma and plus 2 for the bonus].
DM: "Fuck... it likes you, or something..."
Me: "I wanna fuck it."
Rowland: "************!"
DM: "...damn it, do a fucking roll."
Me: "[I roll a 20]. "What happens?"
DM: "..............it fucking loves your dick. You turned it gay."
Me: "Light a friggin' cigarette."

We all laugh.

Me: "Rowland, since it is technically part of your soul, you are now technically gay...ish."

Hilarity ensues.


I'm not usually the jerk in the game, but it felt good to get payback for all of the shit I had to put up with. If I think of any more stories, I will post them.

 

[Nigh Invulnerable]

I'm officially the DM in my circle of friends, so here's a story for you Escapians.

The party had previously befriended a troll out in the forest (the halfling fighter just walked up and said hi, then let the troll eat his pony) and had returned to town for some R&R. The troll, being a troll, got hungry again and started picking off cows from the local farmers' fields. The party heard rumors of it and decided to ignore the obvious plot hook in favor of a drinking contest at the pub.

The drinking contest ended with the party rogue winning, which meant that he was the most unconscious afterwards. The rest of the guys took his slumbering form, fast talked their way into the clock tower of the local church (claiming to be "clock inspectors/repairmen"), and tied the slumbering rogue to the minute hand of the clock. Of course this activity alerted some guards so they had to either face arrest or somehow get down from the tower. No points to anyone guessing the option they took...

The Vanara (an Oriental Adventures race that's basically a large chimp) monk (get it?) slid down an ornate gutter with his kappa shell and escaped into the gardens surrounding the church.

The half-elf fighter (who was more than a little insane) decided to use his rope to climb down the side of the building. Unfortunately he discovered that he only had about 35' of rope and about 50' to the ground, so he pulled a John Mcclane and just tied the rope off and swung through the large stained-glass window below him. After a series of probability defying rolls, he smashed through the window, injured a priest who was christening a baby, caught the airborne infant, declared "He shall be named Tyrus!" (the character's name), and then ran out the door and escaped the guards.

This party later went on to stage their own deaths in a flour mill in order to escape a murder rap they got when they freed their troll friend from the arena. Yeah...

 

[GreyWolf257]

I have a sense of pride and dignity, so I don't play DnD.

Better get my flame shield ready, because I'm about to be trolled by every virgin to ever register an account to this forum.

Wait...was there really a point to posting if all you are going to do is troll people? Bad form, man.

 

[DreamKing]

A particular story I have while playing DnD is that I usually play Tiefling (which are humans cursed to live as demons) Avenger (which is basically a paladin that functions as a striker) and they have a power called Shared Madness, that is long range psychic that can target two targets if it hits the first.

The DM sends on the beginning mission where we are sent to assassinate a politician. The target is protected by four guards. I use Shared Madness while I am hidden. Roll a natural 20. The DM says that the guards heads' blow up and the target escapes. At the dinner party, I slip a posion pill into the target's dinner. The target dies but our cover gets blown. In prison, we try to escape, but our rogue fails an Acrobatics check and geet our cover blown again. Cue short fight with guards.

Although this has nothing to do with the above story, when I DM, I use music to set the mood. One time, our Warden (think a paladin that has his power as Primal instead of Divine). He used a move called Thunder Ramassault. I decide to Thunderhorse by Deathlok. It stuck. Also my buddy, who will also play music from time to time, plays the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers' theme.

 

[Nigh Invulnerable]

I have a sense of pride and dignity, so I don't play DnD.

Better get my flame shield ready, because I'm about to be trolled by every virgin to ever register an account to this forum.

Wait...was there really a point to posting if all you are going to do is troll people? Bad form, man.

Agreed. If you're just going to insult D&D players while on a video game forum you'd better be ready for the irony bomb exploding your head. Cognitive dissonance, anyone?

 

[InsanityRequiem]

I remember a time when me and a few friends tried DnD.

First off, we're about to enter a castle and get set on by a nasty gargoyle, evil bastard it is. We're like? level 1 by the way.

So my two friends, one a dwarf fighter, the other an elven ranger, are able to get onto it, the Elf on top of it and the dwarf hanging freely by one hand.

The funny thing is, Mr. Elf, who was standing on top of the gargoyle, kept failing his attack rolls, getting 1-5s, therefore he was attacking the air. While Mr. Dwarf, hanging by a finger basically, kept getting high attack rolls, 17-20s, swinging and chopping with his axe.

My character, a half-elf druid and another friend, a halfling bard, decided to sit on the ground and watch the fight, laughing horribly and betting to see what happens.

They somehow killed the gargoyle and landed on the ground without dying. We had to end the game because of the laughing.

 

[Junkle]

First of all, let me say that this is an epic thread and I had a lot of fun just reading it.

Now, OT.
Probably the best moment we had was the sorcerer of the group ditching his pseudodragon familiar and instead befriended a herd of (epileptic) sheep. Hilarity ensued.