I believe in finding someone that makes you feel incredibly happy. I don't believe it's possible to have two people who are perfectly compatible in every single way. Being happy is more than enough to ask for.
Do you believe in true love and finding the one?
- Thread starter Lalalarzi
- Start date
Recommended Videos
I believe in true love. True love being someone you care more about than you care for yourself. Someone you'd be willing to die for, which is huge for me since I really believe we only get one life, no afterlife.Lalalarzi said:
But a concept of there being one person who is perfect for you? Bullshit. There would be many, and you may never meet them.
Wouldn't the large population increase that chance? It seems to me that if there were infinite people there would most definitely be at least one of them that could be comprehended as 'the one'. I just don't believe it to be a consistent phenomenon, nor do I believe that anyone will meet enough people to have much of a chance to find a person that qualifies.ultrachicken said:
It would increase the chance that they exist, but not that you'll find them.crazypsyko666 said:
I don't understand the term, 'true love', what does that imply? Is other love somehow 'fake', or 'false'. Can you falsely love something? I don't believe so.
I think love works better along terms like 'healthy' or 'unhealthy'. This takes into account obsessions and relationships where the people do love each other, but are simply not good for one another.
'True love' implies you are meant to be, which doesn't seem to have much relevance, and could do harm if you are 'unhealthy' together.
So no, I don't believe in true love, I believe in healthy love.
I think love works better along terms like 'healthy' or 'unhealthy'. This takes into account obsessions and relationships where the people do love each other, but are simply not good for one another.
'True love' implies you are meant to be, which doesn't seem to have much relevance, and could do harm if you are 'unhealthy' together.
So no, I don't believe in true love, I believe in healthy love.
No, I don't believe in it. Nothing in my experience says that there is someone out there for everyone. It is entirely (and often likely) for a person to go their entire existence without finding anyone who completes them, or if they do find this person to have that person feel the same way back. I have been a hopeless romantic for most of my life but at some point I had to stop writing poetry and grow up, reality doesn't have happy endings... it just is. Some people will grow old with the person they love, and perhaps even die happily. Others will die miserable and alone. That's reality. The real choice we have to make is if it is worth it to keep getting back on that horse. After getting hurt do you have the courage or hope to try again in hopes that it will work out the next time? Or do you say to hell with the odds and give up? Personally, I don't know what the future holds but for now I shot my horse and kicked it in the ribs a few times.
I believe in "love", as it's an emotion that we all experience at some point in our lives in various forms. The true part is a bit iffy...what does True love mean as opposed to just love?
I suppose a rough defintion could be deep, life long love between two people who's love for one another is a constant source of happiness. Well, there are many couples out there whom have lived and will live together for the rest of the their lives, and equally there are many couples whom will fall out and split up. So i understand the distintion between love and true love, even though "true" may be a poor word to describe it. It implies that there is a sort of apsolute objective emotion, but really emotion is highly subjective to the person experiencing the emotuon, you carn't apply black and white, true and false values to subjective emotional experience.
So, do i believe it is possible to partner with someone whom you will love for your entire life? Yes, there have been hunderds of thounsands of couples whom have done this. However, that's not to say it's easy at all finding someone whom you will love for your life, just look at the avarage 50% divorce rate in western countries.
I estimate, considering an individuals personality interests and circumstance, there are probably around a thounsand "truely compatable" people out of a population of say, 50 million. I think it's absurd to believe that there is that "one" special person on the planet, if that were the case then the number of live-long married couples in happy marrages would plummet to near zero. Rather than that one person, there are more like a thounsand if not more "special persons" out there, somewhere. The chances of finding them are slim (1000/50,000,000) but possible.
So yeah, "true" love is possible by my definitions, you just have to be lucky to find it. Feel free to disagree with my estimates by the way, i wouldn't mind hearing some opinions so i can fine-tune my estimations.
I suppose a rough defintion could be deep, life long love between two people who's love for one another is a constant source of happiness. Well, there are many couples out there whom have lived and will live together for the rest of the their lives, and equally there are many couples whom will fall out and split up. So i understand the distintion between love and true love, even though "true" may be a poor word to describe it. It implies that there is a sort of apsolute objective emotion, but really emotion is highly subjective to the person experiencing the emotuon, you carn't apply black and white, true and false values to subjective emotional experience.
So, do i believe it is possible to partner with someone whom you will love for your entire life? Yes, there have been hunderds of thounsands of couples whom have done this. However, that's not to say it's easy at all finding someone whom you will love for your life, just look at the avarage 50% divorce rate in western countries.
I estimate, considering an individuals personality interests and circumstance, there are probably around a thounsand "truely compatable" people out of a population of say, 50 million. I think it's absurd to believe that there is that "one" special person on the planet, if that were the case then the number of live-long married couples in happy marrages would plummet to near zero. Rather than that one person, there are more like a thounsand if not more "special persons" out there, somewhere. The chances of finding them are slim (1000/50,000,000) but possible.
So yeah, "true" love is possible by my definitions, you just have to be lucky to find it. Feel free to disagree with my estimates by the way, i wouldn't mind hearing some opinions so i can fine-tune my estimations.
I've always been of the belief that going out looking for true love and hoping to find The One is basically like walking across an 8-lane highway blindfolded, during rush hour, hoping not to get hit. Yes, you can maybe make it across and find what you're looking for, after repeated trial and error and trips to the hospital/therapist, and some people do. But if you actually want a degree of success that can't disappear just as easily as you acquired it, you'll go out and become the kind of person you want to find. The concept of "Mr/s. Right" is endlessly shallow and short-sighted, and such a self-entitled approach to what is supposed to be a meaningful, lasting relationship will result in only two things - your heartbreak, and my utter lack of sympathy for you when (not if, but when) it comes.
Having said that, I don't expect to ever find anyone whom I get along with as an equal and a companion, because my personal quest to become the ideal person means not letting stupid things like emotions and infatuation get in my way...again. I may be a lonely, bitter cynic, but fuck it all if I can't even be true to myself.
Having said that, I don't expect to ever find anyone whom I get along with as an equal and a companion, because my personal quest to become the ideal person means not letting stupid things like emotions and infatuation get in my way...again. I may be a lonely, bitter cynic, but fuck it all if I can't even be true to myself.
I see 'love' as a feeling, not a phenomenon. It's just a desire to fill like hunger or thirst. There's not one particular 'love' out there for you, but just some people are better at quenching your 'thirst' than others. It's not destiny.
I hope you prove a lot of us wrong. If I catch you making a 'break-up' thread in six months, I'm going to slap you with a brick for getting our hopes up; so you best make it work.
RicoADF said:I believe, I've found herLalalarzi said:
I hope you prove a lot of us wrong. If I catch you making a 'break-up' thread in six months, I'm going to slap you with a brick for getting our hopes up; so you best make it work.
Respect, Trust and Friendship are what translates into the misconception of "True Love" or the so called "Soul-mate". That, and a-lot of hard work on both sides. In this Taffer's opinion anyhoo'.
When two individuals respect each other, trust each other and consider the other a friend, then they're off for a good start. All that's missing there is the sexual attraction and the affection necessary to qualify them as lovers. An unhealthy trend is to leave one of the three criteria out though; in particular the "friends" one.
Let me ask: Would you like to grow old with someone who´'s not your friend?
To think there's only one matching lid for each kettle is very sweet and very romantic. I liked to believe in that too, but was (luckily enough) proven wrong.
When two individuals respect each other, trust each other and consider the other a friend, then they're off for a good start. All that's missing there is the sexual attraction and the affection necessary to qualify them as lovers. An unhealthy trend is to leave one of the three criteria out though; in particular the "friends" one.
Let me ask: Would you like to grow old with someone who´'s not your friend?
To think there's only one matching lid for each kettle is very sweet and very romantic. I liked to believe in that too, but was (luckily enough) proven wrong.
...'the one'?
There's some 7 billion people out there.
If there's just one for you, the chance of actually meeting him/her is so small it borders on impossible.
And even if you do, how'd you know?
And if you actually mean someone who you're just highly compatible with and not some mystical connection to a certain person...
Again, 7 billion people.
There's a pretty good chance you'll like at least one of them.
To answer your question about believing if there's 'true love', you'd first have to define love.
There's some 7 billion people out there.
If there's just one for you, the chance of actually meeting him/her is so small it borders on impossible.
And even if you do, how'd you know?
And if you actually mean someone who you're just highly compatible with and not some mystical connection to a certain person...
Again, 7 billion people.
There's a pretty good chance you'll like at least one of them.
To answer your question about believing if there's 'true love', you'd first have to define love.
What an outdated model. Emotion is biochemistry and vice versa. You do not successfully diminish the former by identifying the latter anymore than I diminish the beauty of a starry night by harping on astronomy.RAKtheUndead said:
We've also evolved, rather clearly, beyond simple reproductive motivations. Happiness is frequently found in couples with no ability to procreate, and a large variety of traits now generate attraction without providing any conceivable indication of fitness.
TLDR version: Grow up. Regardless of your actual age.
To the OP: someone else got it right; we each have an evolving "type", and there are god-only-knows how many who fit our preferred mold. Depending on how typical/moderate your psychological makeup, there might be millions of gals or guys for you.
Love definitely exists. Best example I can think of? Hardened criminals carrying out lengthy sentences in prison are frequently visited by wives, girlfriends, or family members. Any other animal in that type of distress is quickly abandoned by even its closest biological relatives, but humans are just a very different beast. We can form attachments that completely overwhelm aspects of our numerous biological imperatives - including self-preservation. I think love is as good an explanation for these impulses as any. I suppose there's a very good chance we've simply overshot the mark when it comes to reproductive affection, but again, explaining it doesn't invalidate it.
I don't believe in the principle of 'Finding the one'. And I say this as someone who believes in true love. But I think true love is not something so easily defined. It's a combination of a million and one tiny things. It's remembering their favorite color. It's laughing at an in-joke only you two will ever laugh at. It's making a horrible movie SEEM good because you laughed at it together. It's sharing what interests you can, and respecting the ones you can't. It's holding the person in your arms, and in that moment, there being nowhere else in the world you'd rather be. It's having the worst day you could be having at that moment short of physical injury, and one phone call is all it takes to remind you how to smile.
True love is ten times more nebulous to explain than true friendship, because I honestly believe you can't have the former without the latter. Without a true friendship, an iron core to the whole deal, what you have is closer to simple lust.
Now, does this mean there is that one singular special someone, that one lone soulmate out there in the world? Well, no. That's like saying there's that one true special friend for you out there in the world. Or that if you hate video games, if you just keep playing them, you'll find your one true game that you're good at and will enjoy.
True love can be cultivated, if the right ingredients are there; a true friendship at the core, a willingness to care for and understand one another, an almost reflexive capability to back one another up, a trust that you can be who you really are deep down around that person, and patience for all those moments something goes wrong. Because life will always happen, and no one is without faults or quirks. But true love looks past those. It doesn't ignore them... it just accepts them as part of the person that you fell in love with.
If the above is lacking, then you can't create, foster, and nurture a love into becoming true love. You're just missing parts of the puzzle. But if you CAN bring those elements together, and keep them not merely alive but thriving and growing, you too can find true love.
Least, that's my view on it. And my experience.
True love is ten times more nebulous to explain than true friendship, because I honestly believe you can't have the former without the latter. Without a true friendship, an iron core to the whole deal, what you have is closer to simple lust.
Now, does this mean there is that one singular special someone, that one lone soulmate out there in the world? Well, no. That's like saying there's that one true special friend for you out there in the world. Or that if you hate video games, if you just keep playing them, you'll find your one true game that you're good at and will enjoy.
True love can be cultivated, if the right ingredients are there; a true friendship at the core, a willingness to care for and understand one another, an almost reflexive capability to back one another up, a trust that you can be who you really are deep down around that person, and patience for all those moments something goes wrong. Because life will always happen, and no one is without faults or quirks. But true love looks past those. It doesn't ignore them... it just accepts them as part of the person that you fell in love with.
If the above is lacking, then you can't create, foster, and nurture a love into becoming true love. You're just missing parts of the puzzle. But if you CAN bring those elements together, and keep them not merely alive but thriving and growing, you too can find true love.
Least, that's my view on it. And my experience.
I believe in "true love" but not in the way one might think. The idea of a "perfect match" and that person being the only one out thier thats right for you is rather far fetched and ridiculous. Though that said I do think their are afew people out in the world with thier own set of quirks, likes/dislikes, pros and cons that have with you in common the things that matter and among them you'll find that one special person who has what your looking for in terms of looks and together with him or you'll find that you like enough of the same things and or have similar opinions in certain areas that will cause the things that you disagree on be small enough to both of you that you'll be able to over look them
Love is a human word for suppressed lust towards another person.
True love is an oxymoron.
True love is an oxymoron.
Oh, sorry, we didn't realize you consider your mind inferior to an animal's mind. So I guess you feed cows with your milk (eww) or let horses ride your back?NoblePhilistineFox said: