Dude looks like a lady!

[BloatedGuppy]

For example, my best friend's sister looks a lot like him, but I still think she's smoking hot.

I'm reminded of this episode of Seinfeld...

 

[Shoggoth2588]

I'll put it to you like this: sexuality and genders are just really really weird and sometimes contrary. If you're attracted to your friend awesome! Don't let anyone tell you it's wrong or weird because it is what it is and what it's not is weird or wrong. Well no it is weird but sexuality etc is meant to be.

 

[Zoe Castillo]

--

 

[Loop Stricken]

Cant speak for your taste in woman but your music taste is excellent.

I don't like Aerosmith, it was just the only song that came to mind when I was trying to think of a witty topic title.

 

[Starik20X6]

Nothing wrong with that. You're straight and she's a girl, it's a non-issue. Doesn't matter what she used to have between her legs, what matters is how she identifies herself.

And like you said, some girls just look right with a little extra weight.

 

[Owen Robertson]

Yeah if she is a fat girl who you know is a man with a swinging dick, then yeah that is very odd.
I highly recommend getting attracted to actual girls, they look like they are supposed to and in no way would anyone consider you having a relationship with one awkward.

Cant speak for your taste in woman but your music taste is excellent.

Yeah, you're either trying to get a rise out of people or don't understand sexuality and attraction. It's odd to you, and you're probably sheltered. You don't "get attracted to" by force of will. Are you the type of guy who thinks homosexuality is a choice?

 

[AetherWolf]

The fact that you are attracted to her isn't weird. I consider myself straight, but an extremely feminine crossdresser would still turn my head. This doesn't mean that I'm gay, it just means that I am not 100% straight. But sexuality isn't a black and white yes or no question.

There are a lot of shades of grey. More than 50, I am sure. I would, for example, classify myself as 95% straight. Or 5% gay. I know someone who is a lesbian who is absolutely in love with her boyfriend. Weird? Maybe. But she's 99.9999etc% gay, and 1 guy out of the billions on the planet makes her heart melt. Doesn't make her straight.

As for being attracted to a transgender person... You are friends with them, and now you find them physically attractive. That's not weird. Its the same thing if you saw a friend from highschool who, over time, changed in such a way as to make them more physically attractive (or if your tastes had changed such that you now found them attractive). We grow and we change.

The question is - do you want to risk your friendship now that he is a she and a cute she? Are they interested in you?

My answer, is be supportive. Be honest. But don't be pushy. Let things happen naturally. If she is into you too, then great. If not, be her friend.

She may need one.

Oh gosh, your post is perfect. You took every point I was going to make and more.

 

[Phasmal]

Kay, I totally didn't have to read this like four times before I figured out what you were talking about.
... I'm having a dumb day.

If you're not willing to date friends you're gonna have a bad time. Friendship is a fundamental building block for a romantic relationship.

Yeah, this, I wouldn't date someone who wasn't my friend first.

If you're feeling like it's right then why not.
Obviously, it might be a problem if you and her are a long long way apart, but if you think it's worth a shot you might as well just go for it.

 

[Ryotknife]

If you're not willing to date friends you're gonna have a bad time. Friendship is a fundamental building block for a romantic relationship.

Grats to the OP on not being an ass. Transphobia seems to be one of the few remaining culturally acceptable forms of bigotry. Refreshing to get 8 posts into a thread on the subject and not have someone flying off the handle.

the fallout from dating friends (or coworkers) can be quite drastic if things go really sour. It is a really high risk. Then you have to divide up your friends in "the divorce."

There are plenty of friends im not allowed to talk to anymore because of friends breaking up with each other and battle lines being drawn.

 

[cojo965]

Oh goodie an excuse to post this
Yeah I got nothin'.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

the fallout from dating friends (or coworkers) can be quite drastic if things go really sour. It is a really high risk. Then you have to divide up your friends in "the divorce."

You date anyone for more than a few months and you're going to end up with mutual friends. It's inevitable.

Obviously the hard feelings from a breakup can compromise a previously nice friendship, but nothing in life comes without risk. You're better off dating people you like and respect then sticking to strangers so as not to violate your "no friends" rule.

 

[Vigormortis]

Anyway, I'm glad to see another of us around here. Each time I see that it's like a small victory, that another made it out of the living hell and managed not to die. I know it sounds like I'm being a bit pessimistic but where I live I've rarely met another of my kind and I've seen those who are homosexual get chased out of state by mobs throwing insults, death threats, and at one point a Molotov Cocktail. In those conditions, it's not hard to become jaded, scarred, and frightened.

Dear God, Molotov cocktails?! That's horrible! It still fascinates me that people today remain so....ignorantly destructive.

You have my sympathies.

I've personally never experienced such things, but I have plenty of gay and/or transgender friends who have. Though, not to a severity equivalent to having Molotov cocktails thrown at them...

Even so, again, you have my sympathies. I hope your situation hasn't jaded or scarred you too much.

 

[Ryotknife]

the fallout from dating friends (or coworkers) can be quite drastic if things go really sour. It is a really high risk. Then you have to divide up your friends in "the divorce."

You date anyone for more than a few months and you're going to end up with mutual friends. It's inevitable.

Obviously the hard feelings from a breakup can compromise a previously nice friendship, but nothing in life comes without risk. You're better off dating people you like and respect then sticking to strangers so as not to violate your "no friends" rule.

considering my (and all of the friends ive known) rapidly diminishing group of friends as i/we get older due to these "divorces" im going to have to call BS on that. and hell, none of those divorces were mine as im careful not to let it get to that stage. It may be fine when you are young (when you will probably lose those friends due to college/career), but come back when you hit my age.

Also, im losing my games in these "divorces" too. Granted in the OP's case the "divorce" issue shouldnt be a problem since it is an online friendship only.

 

[Combustion Kevin]

wouldn't it be great if everyone was just bisexual?
it would make so many things less complicated.

I'd say the long distance would be the main pain in your situation, if you're not sure how to feel about a person in that way then hanging out is the right remedy.
as it stands it will be anguish, with a possibility of heartbreak, but I personally never had those kinda risks stop me. ^^

I guess I'm kind of a... hopeless romantic that way. >.>

 

[Souplex]

In my experience, women are crazy.
If they weren't pretty, I would have nothing to do with them.
So there's a woman who isn't crazy, has 0% chance of pregnancy, and you already have an emotional bond?
Get some vacation time, get a plane ticket, and have yourself a fun time!

 

[DudeistBelieve]

wouldn't it be great if everyone was just bisexual?
it would make so many things less complicated.

I'd say the long distance would be the main pain in your situation, if you're not sure how to feel about a person in that way then hanging out is the right remedy.
as it stands it will be anguish, with a possibility of heartbreak, but I personally never had those kinda risks stop me. ^^

I guess I'm kind of a... hopeless romantic that way. >.>

eh... what everyone's attracted to everyone? That would make me feel uncomfortable, either I'd assume everyone is leering at me or I'd be upset that no one is leering at me.

 

[FrostyChick]

Also that song, ugh, I've never met a trans person who likes that song; I find it to be rather insulting.

I add another one to the bunch. To call that song insulting is to say that the sky is blue or that water is wet.

Anyway, I'm glad to see another of us around here. Each time I see that it's like a small victory, that another made it out of the living hell and managed not to die. I know it sounds like I'm being a bit pessimistic but where I live I've rarely met another of my kind and I've seen those who are homosexual get chased out of state by mobs throwing insults, death threats, and at one point a Molotov Cocktail. In those conditions, it's not hard to become jaded, scarred, and frightened.

Just a little factoid, the original inspiration for the song came as a way to poke fun at Vince Neil, singer of Mötley Crüe.
That's how I manage to listen to it without taking it as some kind of personal insult.

Though to be honest, it takes the verbal equivalent of anti-tank weaponry to get through my skin. So your mileage may vary.

 

[Genocidicles]

HE didn't change into the opposite gender, HE just mutilated his genitals.

There's a difference between sex and gender. If you're ignorant enough to believe a sex change does nothing but mutilate their genitals then just say that they didn't really change their sex.

A person's gender is all in the mind. Their sex is their reproductive organs.

 

[an annoyed writer]

Dear God, Molotov cocktails?! That's horrible! It still fascinates me that people today remain so....ignorantly destructive.

You have my sympathies.

I've personally never experienced such things, but I have plenty of gay and/or transgender friends who have. Though, not to a severity equivalent to having Molotov cocktails thrown at them...

Even so, again, you have my sympathies. I hope your situation hasn't jaded or scarred you too much.

Thank you. if there's one thing the world needs more of it is kind souls like yourself. Also, about the molotov situation: luckily, the recipient of the cocktail bombing is alive and safe, albeit in another state. The law enforcement officials didn't take too kindly to the attempted murder and vandalism either, so they locked the perp up for a couple years. If there's one advantage to living in a swing state, it's that half of the time there are actually some pretty sensible people in office. So please keep that in mind when you go and vote. Voting for the wrong people will lead to more suffering, and the sooner we can get the issue out of our collective hair the better.

 

[an annoyed writer]

Just a little factoid, the original inspiration for the song came as a way to poke fun at Vince Neil, singer of Mötley Crüe.
That's how I manage to listen to it without taking it as some kind of personal insult.

Though to be honest, it takes the verbal equivalent of anti-tank weaponry to get through my skin. So your mileage may vary.

That is interesting. As for me though I'm a bit too sensitive for my own good, and as a result I'm a little worn down. Learning the origins of such things does quite a bit to disperse the impact though, so you have my thanks there.