Dude looks like a lady!

[Nopenahnuhuh]

​

So.

Let's say I have this friend... no, this isn't one of those kinds of threads, there actually is a friend. Anyway. I've known him for the best part of a decade, he's been a good friend, sometimes been a right bastard who I've thought about just cutting all ties with.

Now this being my friend, I met him on the webby-webs, so he might as well be living on a different planet. but we talk often enough, or so I thought.

Anyway, not so long ago we get to talking aaaaaand... it turns out he's a she now. Seems quite out of the blue to me, almost like it happened overnight.
I've seen pictures of her, and... well, who'da thought a massive chap like him could end up looking so cute? Sure she's kinda chubby but she looks like she's the kind of girl who is meant to be, you know? How some girls just look like they were made to be larger than average.

And I've kinda sorta started finding her attractive. Anyone think this might be a bit weird?
And yes I know I'm usually the one telling anyone who'll listen to just do whatever they think feels right, but I suppose it's different when the shoe's on the other foot, or something.

You know what? I don't have a clue what you should do... This is one of those situations I'd completely consider winging it, just do whatever the hell comes to mind, you want to hit that? Go for it! I've never even considered this kind of situation so putting myself in your shoes I can understand what you're talking about and just how odd the situation is. Hell, go for it! If anything she'll appreciate your honesty.

 

[an annoyed writer]

Stop calling him a "her".

HE didn't change into the opposite gender, HE just mutilated his genitals.

That Y Chromosome didn't go anywhere. Saying otherwise is straight up lying. And attraction technically makes you gay.

If you can live with all of that though, go for it.

Getting a little transphobic there pal. Look, I know you may be uncomfortable with the notion of someone changing their gender and sex with the current methods right now, but keep in mind that today's techniques are in no way final. As things are right now, the current generation of transsexuals are something of a beta test, precursors to superior metamorphic techniques. You don't have to like us, and no one's pressuring you to interact with us. However, if you do support our rights today, it won't just be my kind that benefits from it tomorrow: you will too. Interesting fact about us transsexuals: many of us are major proponents of several key medical advances, including stem cell research and gene therapy. Any one with at least a base knowledge about those two fields of study can tell you that those can be beneficial to all people, not just us. Lost a limb or digit and need a replacement? Or how about a cure for a genetically carried ailment like Cystic Fibrosis? Support us, and I promise you, we will give back.

 

[The White Hunter]

wouldn't it be great if everyone was just bisexual?
it would make so many things less complicated.

I'd say the long distance would be the main pain in your situation, if you're not sure how to feel about a person in that way then hanging out is the right remedy.
as it stands it will be anguish, with a possibility of heartbreak, but I personally never had those kinda risks stop me. ^^

I guess I'm kind of a... hopeless romantic that way. >.>

It would be nice if everyone just didn't care about sexuality and just went with whatever they happened to fancy > > blasted society and all that.

As for distance, webcams help. Just sayin...

OT: Go for it, worst she can do is say no?

 

[BloatedGuppy]

considering my (and all of the friends ive known) rapidly diminishing group of friends as i/we get older due to these "divorces" im going to have to call BS on that. and hell, none of those divorces were mine as im careful not to let it get to that stage. It may be fine when you are young (when you will probably lose those friends due to college/career), but come back when you hit my age.

It's a little amusing that you're playing the old man card on me, since I'm older than about 95% of the people on these forums, but I guess anything is possible.

Generally speaking though, Ryot, you "call BS" on pretty much every post I've ever made. I expect I could make a post entitled "breathing is good" and you'd call BS on it. I think we're going to need to accept that our individual anecdotal experiences do not align on this issue and call it a day.

 

[ninjaRiv]

Personally, I don't think it matters. You like her, go for it. The only rules that apply are the ones regarding friends (already mentioned in this thread)and even then, they're only there (imo) to test how much you want it.

 

[Vigormortis]

Thank you. if there's one thing the world needs more of it is kind souls like yourself. Also, about the molotov situation: luckily, the recipient of the cocktail bombing is alive and safe, albeit in another state. The law enforcement officials didn't take too kindly to the attempted murder and vandalism either, so they locked the perp up for a couple years. If there's one advantage to living in a swing state, it's that half of the time there are actually some pretty sensible people in office. So please keep that in mind when you go and vote. Voting for the wrong people will lead to more suffering, and the sooner we can get the issue out of our collective hair the better.

Oh good. Really glad to hear the perpetrator(s) were apprehended and locked up. Just as glad to hear there's some sensible people in law enforcement over there. There are still occasions when "hate" crimes go unpunished; even here in the States. At least that occasion wasn't one of them.

 

[RaphaelsRedemption]

Why not go for it? She's pretty, you're accepting, maybe both of you need love! All the usual issues of respect and care and so forth apply, but treat her like any other attractive woman you would like to get to know, and ask her out.

Sure, there are issues - distance, fear of rejection, maybe weird memories of before the change - but every single relationship has its own set of problems. You just need to see if she has a similar attraction as you, and then maybe you can work through stuff together.

If you don't try, you'll never know. And even if you get shot down first ask, I bet she'll do it nicely. Because it's quite flattering being told you are beautiful.

 

[Vigormortis]

Stop calling him a "her".

HE didn't change into the opposite gender, HE just mutilated his genitals.

That Y Chromosome didn't go anywhere. Saying otherwise is straight up lying.

In a very basic, fundamentally genetic sense, yes. 'She' is still, technically, a he.

However, as humanity has come to learn (and should be more willing to readily accept), ones 'gender' is every bit a state of mind as it is a state of physiology. In so far as "gender roles" go.

Plus, hormone therapy and other procedures can shift ones gender, not entirely but, enough to consider that person of the opposite gender from what they were born as.

Besides, in the womb, we all start as gender neutral (or female, in a way).

So, technically speaking, gender is a naturally interchangeable aspect of our, and most, species.

And attraction technically makes you gay.

Not if the OP, and the friend in question, view her as a woman. If the 'friend' had purely male features, there's every likelihood the OP wouldn't have the same attraction. Especially if he hadn't had them until he saw her as female.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

If I'm honest here, you comments come off a tad transphobic. I doubt that's your true intention, but the confrontational manner of the comment makes it seem that way.

 

[SomethingWorse]

Ya know, in the age of the internet, I'm surprised just how often this happens.

I've even seen it happen with a friend of mine. He had a nice relationship with a girl he thought was boy at first. It seemed odd at first but...I guess things got comfortable after a while.

 

[Labyrinth]

I'm just tossing in my two cents here. On the basis that someone who has transitioned M-to-F is female, if you're straight it isn't weird, or conflicting with heterosexuality. My suggestion would be talk to her about it. She may or may not be interested in you. If she is, then talk over any potential reservations. Make sure you're sensitive to her situation and emotional state and you should be fine. It'd probably help to talk it over with someone else who has transitioned, or is transitioning, to get some idea of what might happen. Go slow and make sure you're both comfortable with what's happening and you should be fine.

As for weirdness overall, I think that's a product of our culture's inground fear of people who don't fit a gender, or sexual, norm. I do think you'd be able to get past anything from that amongst yourselves, but you're likely to face some considerable bullshit from people in the wider community as we have already seen demonstrated in this thread. Don't let them get you down.

 

[RicoADF]

Also that song, ugh, I've never met a trans person who likes that song; I find it to be rather insulting.

I add another one to the bunch. To call that song insulting is to say that the sky is blue or that water is wet.

Anyway, I'm glad to see another of us around here. Each time I see that it's like a small victory, that another made it out of the living hell and managed not to die. I know it sounds like I'm being a bit pessimistic but where I live I've rarely met another of my kind and I've seen those who are homosexual get chased out of state by mobs throwing insults, death threats, and at one point a Molotov Cocktail. In those conditions, it's not hard to become jaded, scarred, and frightened.

If I may ask, have you seriously seen people act that way in the US? Which state?

Just curious as I've always seen the states as strange and backwards, but even I never expected Molotov cocktails to be thrown at people over something like that.

 

[an annoyed writer]

If I may ask, have you seriously seen people act that way in the US? Which state?

Just curious as I've always seen the states as strange and backwards, but even I never expected Molotov cocktails to be thrown at people over something like that.

Yes I have. Southeastern Wisconsin is a generally Christian-dominated area, and we have quite a few people who live up to the hickish-Republican stereotype that gets across the shores and borders.

 

[RicoADF]

If I may ask, have you seriously seen people act that way in the US? Which state?

Just curious as I've always seen the states as strange and backwards, but even I never expected Molotov cocktails to be thrown at people over something like that.

Yes I have. Southeastern Wisconsin is a generally Christian-dominated area, and we have quite a few people who live up to the hickish-Republican stereotype that gets across the shores and borders.

Damn, although thinking back to my visit to Florida (Atlantis final launch and visit NASA) the people down there would fit those stereotypes to an alarming level too.

EDIT: Reading back its good to hear the bastard that threw the cocktail was arrested, got what he deserved.

 

[Helmholtz Watson]

Yeah if she is a fat girl who you know is a man with a swinging dick, then yeah that is very odd.
I highly recommend getting attracted to actual girls, they look like they are supposed to and in no way would anyone consider you having a relationship with one awkward.

.

And why should his sex matter ? why is it odd if he is into to something a little different ?

Your kidding, right? How about because someone changing their appearance to such extremes so that they look like the female, is something that a fair amount off people would not be attracted to? Also, a little different? I'm sure that those that have had said surgery would agree that having a sex change is a major event in a persons life, and that your really downplaying by saying its a "little" different.

 

[Elate]

If you like her, you like her.

I don't understand this friends rule crap, are we in high school? You get to know someone first, that's how it works, I've grown attracted to friends occasionally, doesn't always work but saying "don't do it because it might end bad" is like saying "don't cross the street because you might get hit by a car."

And the gender thing is a null point, if you have half a brain. Unless, y'know, she hasn't got the female parts yet, or something, and you aren't ok with her having a matching set. That.. I can sort of understand.. I guess.. If you're straight that could weird you out.

Don't see what the problem is, why are people so squeamish about liking someone. It's nearly 2013 guys.

 

[drisky]

Like a lot have said, it isn't a good idea because of the distance. Long distance doesn't work unless you are willing to move at some point. Otherwise, we unfortunately don't live in a perfect world. It can be hard to tell whether or not you would be able to handle a sexual relationship. Even someone with the most tolerant attitude might not be able to get into it when the time comes. If you were going to change locations for someone you'd have to be pretty sure its going to work, and if you have to ask, you are sure enough to do it.

 

[Ryotknife]

considering my (and all of the friends ive known) rapidly diminishing group of friends as i/we get older due to these "divorces" im going to have to call BS on that. and hell, none of those divorces were mine as im careful not to let it get to that stage. It may be fine when you are young (when you will probably lose those friends due to college/career), but come back when you hit my age.

It's a little amusing that you're playing the old man card on me, since I'm older than about 95% of the people on these forums, but I guess anything is possible.

Generally speaking though, Ryot, you "call BS" on pretty much every post I've ever made. I expect I could make a post entitled "breathing is good" and you'd call BS on it. I think we're going to need to accept that our individual anecdotal experiences do not align on this issue and call it a day.

I actually had to go back in my post history to figure out why the hell you think im your mortal forum enemy (from something over a week ago). So because I disagreed with one of your positions in a previous thread....this means that i disagree with everything you may say from now on.....

And hell, I dont even remember you from that. You need to let the past go.

 

[Ryotknife]

Also that song, ugh, I've never met a trans person who likes that song; I find it to be rather insulting.

I add another one to the bunch. To call that song insulting is to say that the sky is blue or that water is wet.

Anyway, I'm glad to see another of us around here. Each time I see that it's like a small victory, that another made it out of the living hell and managed not to die. I know it sounds like I'm being a bit pessimistic but where I live I've rarely met another of my kind and I've seen those who are homosexual get chased out of state by mobs throwing insults, death threats, and at one point a Molotov Cocktail. In those conditions, it's not hard to become jaded, scarred, and frightened.

If I may ask, have you seriously seen people act that way in the US? Which state?

Just curious as I've always seen the states as strange and backwards, but even I never expected Molotov cocktails to be thrown at people over something like that.

honestly im more surprised there are people in the US who know how to make a Molotov cocktail.....

 

[BloatedGuppy]

I actually had to go back in my post history to figure out why the hell you think im your mortal forum enemy (from something over a week ago). So because I disagreed with one of your positions in a previous thread....this means that i disagree with everything you may say from now on.....

And hell, I dont even remember you from that. You need to let the past go.

Make a tossed off, bemused comment about your propensity to disagree with me...get a contrary, accusatory response implying I'm haunted and need to let the past go. It would be funny, if it wasn't so on point.

Actually I take it back, it's totally funny. Seriously, relax. Let me find a better way to phrase it...my limited history with you suggests we are unlikely to reach an accord on a subject via conversation. Is that better? Do you feel less my "mortal enemy" now? It's okay to disagree, you know.

Don't take it personally. I remember EVERYONE.