Duke Nukem Forever (full game). Duration: 8 hours.

[SwimmingRock]

I feel sorry for people I know who were looking so forward to it. Take that Bobby Drake, I'll stick to my Serious Sam HD and upcoming Serious Sam 3 thanks, but you have fun with your Call of Duty-ified alien shooter.

Wait, you seriously know somebody with the same name as Iceman of the X-Men? I mean, it just sounds like such an obviously fake name. Why would someone call their child that? Or are they huge X-Men fans?

OT: I saw TotalBiscuits first impressions video of the demo. He pointed out everything wrong with it and I was greatly saddened. If the game's the same, I'll pass with a heavy heart. He then uploaded a video of him playing Duke 3D and pointed out how that was actually better and I'm inclined to agree... come to think of it, where'd my copy of Duke Nukem 64 go? I know the N64 is in the bottom 'tech' box...

 

[Stavros Dimou]

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Regardless, I still want to pick it up. I have a feeling I will enjoy it. I have no other expectations than going into a game that features Duke Nukem as the main character.

This his how I feel. Look on the bright side though people, at least it finally came out.

[sub]Now we just need to wait for Max Payne 3...[/sub]

So Yahtzee was right. Damn.

I think it would have been better if it didn't come out. If it comes out but sucks then there is very little chance for it to be done again the right way.



As far as I am concerned, The Duke was, and still is dead. Only now, I can't see him resting peacefully.

Yahtzee should review it

He already has.

It wasn't a real view,it was a satire he made when the developers went bankrupt and everybody knew that the game would never come out...
Before Gearbox actually popped out and took the game and brought it out.

 

[funguy2121]

EDIT: Oh yeah, almost forgot. There are naked breasts. Quite a lot of them in fact. If you find the prospect of polygonal boobs and blunt innuendo genuinely appealing then, well... don't worry, that whole puberty thing will be over soon.

This was all you had to say (though I'd replace puberty with virginity.

 

[Arkynomicon]

Yeah, excepted as much after playing the demo. Seems only thing that resmbels DN3D is the occational one-liners.

Well, at least Bioshock Infinite might have what I like in the FPS genera. But with the huge empathise on the open city and less about exploring dark places for secrets I doubt it.

 

[Sonicron]

I'm playing the game right now (early rental), and I can confirm every single gripe stated by the OP. Seriously, I'm starting to feel ripped off for the five Euros I paid to rent this thing.

 

[RedEyesBlackGamer]

snip

Dammit, my fears come true. Well, I could always bust out my N64 or play 3D for some Duke. Gearbox dropped the ball. And missed the point.

 

[ReservoirAngel]

I feel sorry for people I know who were looking so forward to it. Take that Bobby Drake, I'll stick to my Serious Sam HD and upcoming Serious Sam 3 thanks, but you have fun with your Call of Duty-ified alien shooter.

Wait, you seriously know somebody with the same name as Iceman of the X-Men? I mean, it just sounds like such an obviously fake name. Why would someone call their child that? Or are they huge X-Men fans?

It just comes down to not knowing about the X-Men. Hell I always just call him Iceman and they never bat an eyelid. They're "older" parents and know nothing of comics whatsoever beyond 'Superman uses phone boxes to change' so it's an innocent mistake. Albeit an awesome once.

Sometimes I wish I had a shared name with a superhero but to my knowledge no superhero's real name is "Angel".

 

[natster43]

I was just hoping for a fun shooter, not a boring, bland, and mediocre one. And since the demo is apparently an accurate representation, that sucks.

 

[Stavros Dimou]

Seems like Gearbox wanted to do a 90s shooter but 2K shoved 'BE LIKE OTHER SHOOTERS' down their throat (because 2K likes to copy everything, except they make a terrible version--ex: they tried making Mafia II like GTA IV, but it was worse, they tried making Bioshock 2 like Bioshock 1, it was a failure, etc. etc. etc.) so they kinda were hesitant. And the worst direction is a hesistant direction.


Plus Gearbox haven't made anything... fun. BoA and Borderlands's gameplay were really boring.

You are wrong. It wasn't gearbox who had the idea behind that game,and 2k had nothing to do with the game's design.

Don't you read former posts other people make in threads ?

The reason the game has so many elements that doesn't fit with DUKE3D is because George Brussard,the chief of 3D REALMS which is the studio who had DUKE before Gearbox decided to make the game like that.

He thought that by copying other games he would make his game great,and because of that he asked from his employees to add every single fucking feature he was seeing another game to have.
This kept happening until 2009 that they bankrupted.
From 1998 until 2009 3D REALMS copied every single FPS game that made good sales because the main designer of the game thought he would make it good this way.
Gearbox got the game after 3D REALMS bankrupted,and decided to finish the half done game.
2K never implicated on design matters.

 

[SwimmingRock]

I feel sorry for people I know who were looking so forward to it. Take that Bobby Drake, I'll stick to my Serious Sam HD and upcoming Serious Sam 3 thanks, but you have fun with your Call of Duty-ified alien shooter.

Wait, you seriously know somebody with the same name as Iceman of the X-Men? I mean, it just sounds like such an obviously fake name. Why would someone call their child that? Or are they huge X-Men fans?

It just comes down to not knowing about the X-Men. Hell I always just call him Iceman and they never bat an eyelid. They're "older" parents and know nothing of comics whatsoever beyond 'Superman uses phone boxes to change' so it's an innocent mistake. Albeit an awesome once.

Sometimes I wish I had a shared name with a superhero but to my knowledge no superhero's real name is "Angel".

You'd be wrong on that last count. Bit iffy on the hero part as she changed sides a few times, but here you go: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angel_Salvadore. Sure, not the best example (eats food like a fly and had a relationship with Beak... eww), but that's the only one I know of. My knowledge of comics does have gaps, however.

 

[raankh]

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Regardless, I still want to pick it up. I have a feeling I will enjoy it. I have no other expectations than going into a game that features Duke Nukem as the main character.

This his how I feel. Look on the bright side though people, at least it finally came out.

[sub]Now we just need to wait for Max Payne 3...[/sub]

So Yahtzee was right. Damn.

I think it would have been better if it didn't come out. If it comes out but sucks then there is very little chance for it to be done again the right way.



As far as I am concerned, The Duke was, and still is dead. Only now, I can't see him resting peacefully.

Yahtzee should review it

He already has.

It wasn't a real view,it was a satire he made when the developers went bankrupt and everybody knew that the game would never come out...
Before Gearbox actually popped out and took the game and brought it out.

Real or not, enough has been said in my opinion.

 

[Sansha]

Yeah I can't play. The five minute loading screens are killing me. They don't even have a progress bar for some idea of how longer they'll fuckin' take. And this happens every time you die, which you'll do a lot. A lot of quicktime events have fatal repercussions for failing them, and you better pray your checkpoint wasn't far behind.

There's a lot of neat platformish puzzles around which I did appreciate, but Duke's constant running for cover and hiding for a few seconds is just stupid. It works in a progressive war game - as in moving up on your enemy lines bit by bit - but as one man battling an alien horde that comes at you from all directions, it doesn't fucking work.

Finally, the game is just gauntlets and battle rooms where you wait around for x number of enemies to die before the next gate unlocks, at which point you walk there and repeat. It's boring. It's not what Duke was and indeed should be.

I don't understand what these idiots were doing going for realism, or at least copying 'realistic' games - it's a huge, muscle-bound world-worshipped chauvinist battling mutant aliens with overpowered weapons and his bare hands.

What fucking part of this needs to be realistic?

 

[Netrigan]

A shame. I understand that the developers were trying to keep the game in line with modern trends, and somewhere in the development cycle, they lost track of what made Duke 3D so popular. I just pray Serious Sam 3 doesn't follow that example.

The Steam page mocks things like cover systems and regenerating health. The only "modernisms" I can see from the trailer are how it has ironsights

Iron sights make sense for console releases. It slows up the reticule to allow for fine-tuning. As long as it doesn't have different accuracy from shooting from the hip, it won't slow up the game play.

As long as its a good arcade shooter that doesn't over-emphasize cover mechanics, it should be pretty cool.

 

[ZombieMonkey7]

The devs already knew the game was shit making people pre-order the game to play the demo. So if you didn't like the demo he'll guess gearbox keeps your $5.00

 

[ReservoirAngel]

I feel sorry for people I know who were looking so forward to it. Take that Bobby Drake, I'll stick to my Serious Sam HD and upcoming Serious Sam 3 thanks, but you have fun with your Call of Duty-ified alien shooter.

Wait, you seriously know somebody with the same name as Iceman of the X-Men? I mean, it just sounds like such an obviously fake name. Why would someone call their child that? Or are they huge X-Men fans?

It just comes down to not knowing about the X-Men. Hell I always just call him Iceman and they never bat an eyelid. They're "older" parents and know nothing of comics whatsoever beyond 'Superman uses phone boxes to change' so it's an innocent mistake. Albeit an awesome once.

Sometimes I wish I had a shared name with a superhero but to my knowledge no superhero's real name is "Angel".

You'd be wrong on that last count. Bit iffy on the hero part as she changed sides a few times, but here you go: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angel_Salvadore. Sure, not the best example (eats food like a fly and had a relationship with Beak... eww), but that's the only one I know of. My knowledge of comics does have gaps, however.

Ew, it had to be a woman. And one who shagged an abomination of nature... wonderful. Fuck my parents, seriously. They couldn't even give me a cool name

 

[Stabby Joe]

I could say the usual "oh no/shame/saw it coming" but then again the first and only opinion on the game from one person I do not know...

...doesn't seem like me saying that would make a whole lot of sense.

 

[floppylobster]

Better than Command and Conquer 4 then.

 

[Stavros Dimou]

Yeah I can't play. The five minute loading screens are killing me. They don't even have a progress bar for some idea of how longer they'll fuckin' take. And this happens every time you die, which you'll do a lot. A lot of quicktime events have fatal repercussions for failing them, and you better pray your checkpoint wasn't far behind.

There's a lot of neat platformish puzzles around which I did appreciate, but Duke's constant running for cover and hiding for a few seconds is just stupid. It works in a progressive war game - as in moving up on your enemy lines bit by bit - but as one man battling an alien horde that comes at you from all directions, it doesn't fucking work.

Finally, the game is just gauntlets and battle rooms where you wait around for x number of enemies to die before the next gate unlocks, at which point you walk there and repeat. It's boring. It's not what Duke was and indeed should be.

That's absolutely right.
In DNF everything is scripted and the game progress with a kind of triggers.

If you don't step your foot on that pre-designed room of the map,the game won't advance.

I cheated and got the jetpack in a level you are not supposed to get it and flew above and I saw there wasn't a single alien around. Aliens appear out of nowhere when you enter in a room,and you have to kill them to go further which is a bad design because it forces you to play linearly even if you find a way to skip a sector.

In Duke3d you could skip battles and go straight to the exit of the level if you wanted.