Dumbest Way You Have Hurt Yourself

[SimuLord]

1993, challenging the Middlesex County amateur middleweight champion for my age group to a fight. There were two things wrong with this:

1) I was a natural junior middle/welterweight (fought most of my fights at 147-154) and he was bigger and stronger, and

2) I was skulking around the fringes of the division---he probably saw me as a tune-up fight. And he was right. And my stomach hurt for a week after I got KO'd on a body shot.

 

[Sougo]

When I was 5 I tried to do a push up on the window sill. The window sill had a rough wall (you know the one with jagged sharp ends sticking out). Needless to say, I slipping and landed on my chin, on the window sill.

9 stitches and 20 years later, I still don't grow any hair in a linear line on my chin.

 

[Marmalade]

Hit myself in the head with a golfclub it was going really well so i were getting a little cocky and tried to be cool.

 

[Dapsen]

5 years old: "ooh shiny! " *tsssssss* "OOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUW!!"

EDIT: 'was a naked lightbulb.

 

[Broady Brio]

Well...

When your looking at a site with your hand downstairs. Something scares me on teh int0rwebz. My impulse is to clench into a fist.

You can guess the rest.

 

[FightThePower]

I once tried to hide in a patch of Stinging Nettles.

 

[Omikron009]

I once woke up from a dream, and events had occurred in the dream that made me really angry. I woke up, still angry, and punched the wall as hard as I could. I almost broke my hand.

 

[UberLemonBoy]

stepping up t little 2 foot wall i slipped
i have the 3 inch scars and a dent in my leg
all for a GOD DAMN SHITTY BASKETBALL

 

[Alien Mole]

I once closed a fridge door.

This, in itself, is not a problem. The problem was that I had neglected to extract my foot from the radial path that said door was about to make. It did not end well.

Not the most painful thing I've done by far, but definitely the most stupid way I've ever hurt myself.

 

[Sarcasm Spasm]

I has splinter in my foot so I took some scissors to cut away some of the skin over it, but before that i had the smart idea to test the sharpness of the scissors...
with my finger

 

[Powereaver]

thats an easy one... i was playing cricket in the backyard.. swung the bat it ricocheted off the washing line and hit me in the nose.. everyone at school the next day had a good laugh about that :S

 

[GreyMorality]

I tried to do a sideways flip on a trampoline and spraned my ankle its was dumb because it was my third attempt after failing the first two time.

 

[Thrashgrinder]

3 months ago i stepped on a magazine which was lying on the ground. I fell really akwardly and cracked my kneecap.

 

[SmartIdiot]

Sambuca + Me + Running down a hill at high speed = Torn ankle ligament

 

[Eatspeeple]

didn't happen to me, but a friend of mine somehow managed to burn all the way along his wrist using a very, very hot soldering iron.

 

[Andrecova]

Probably when I stepped/hopped at the same time I turned around. Wouldn't be much of a problem if the surface wasn't wet, completely frictionless, and so were my shoes. It felt like landing on ice, with my feet just flying behind me as soon as they made contact, my hands sliding in front of me when I tried to break my fall, and my head actually stopping my fall by taking all the impact.

I got up in less than a second, took a few steps forward (effectively leaving that surface) and then ran my hand through my forehead, only to see it was indeed full of blood. And so I laughed as I saw my now sliced open eyebrow, and went to the hospital. Got 5 stitches out of it, and a nice, very visible scar which I love.

 

[GHMonkey]

i got you all beat, i cut my middle finger with a butter knife. dull, serrated, and coated in citric acid.

 

[Supernatural Girl]

While doing an assisted front flip on a trampoline, my legs buckled and I managed to bit my, tongue, lip and knee at the same time.

 

[T_ConX]

Not me, but back when I was in grade school, there was some fad involving taking an eraser and rapidly rubbing it on ones skin, so the friction would create an ugly and painful scab. I think the idea was prove how brave you were or something.

I had enough sense at the time to avoid such shenanigans, but one of my smarter friends did it, as well as my younger brother.

 

[Woodsey]

When I get angry I bite myself.

...

What? I have a short fuse.

That's... Odd.

OT: Pissing about in PE with a mate, I jumped onto a damp 10-inch high section of a wall with my left-foot (I'm pretty much right-sided for everything). Needless to say I slipped off and somehow managed a mid-air flip, before landing on the concrete.

It only hurt a little though, and it was funny as fuck.