Dumbest Way You Have Hurt Yourself
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I cooked noodles once and wanted to taste them before getting them out of the hot water. When I was finally able to grab one with a fork I spilled hot water on my trousers. I wanted to evade, still got the water on my pants and hit my head on the cooker hood.
The other time I peeled stuff I didn't like off a frozen pizza and touched the roast to find out how hot the oven was. Didn't realize my fingertips were pretty cold from the pizza and wondered 20 minutes later how the blisters came on my fingertips...
The other time I peeled stuff I didn't like off a frozen pizza and touched the roast to find out how hot the oven was. Didn't realize my fingertips were pretty cold from the pizza and wondered 20 minutes later how the blisters came on my fingertips...
Lets just say 2 events about an hour apart involve buring plastic, my finger first, and then my iner thigh
That sounds horribly familiar. I was playing football on a concrete pitch, jumped to deflect the ball and brought my leg down a little too fast.Luke5515 said:
But no, I didn't just break my leg, I had to smash the tibia, spiral fracture the fibia, and break two of my ankle bones too. If you're going to do it, might as well do it properly.
When I was younger I also fell off a tram AND a slide, on two very separate occasions, meaning I now have little left of either eyebrow due to scars.
I have a stunning array of self-injuries, but my personal favorite would be the concussion I gave myself by accidentally banging my head on some anchored steel shelving in the backroom at work...I hit so hard I even gave myself whiplash.
Don't even get me started on all the times I've fallen up stairs.
Don't even get me started on all the times I've fallen up stairs.
Two mornings ago, while I was getting into my car, I was daydreaming a bit and smashed myself in the face with the door. It didn't do much to me but cut my lip but after that everyone was staring at me and I don't think I've ever felt more stupid.
I also once ran full speed, head first into the corner of a wall when I was younger. I split my head open. I needed stitches but my mom had had a long day and didn't feel like going to the hospital so she stitched it up herself.
I also once ran full speed, head first into the corner of a wall when I was younger. I split my head open. I needed stitches but my mom had had a long day and didn't feel like going to the hospital so she stitched it up herself.
Mine is so asinine I can't believe I did it. I did it when I was 20 aswell!
I had just made a pan of pasta, I sat down and ate it, put it in the sink and filled it with water with a drop off washing up liquid, then glanced at the hob and had a really strong urge to put my hand on it, even though I knew it was hot.
I spent the next 20 mins running my hand under cold water. I will never know why I did it.
I wonder how many people will think "lying bastard" to this post ...
I had just made a pan of pasta, I sat down and ate it, put it in the sink and filled it with water with a drop off washing up liquid, then glanced at the hob and had a really strong urge to put my hand on it, even though I knew it was hot.
I spent the next 20 mins running my hand under cold water. I will never know why I did it.
I wonder how many people will think "lying bastard" to this post ...
In an angry attempt to save face, I went for the soccer ball on the pavement.
"HEY RYAN, YOULL NEVER KICK IT TO US FROM WAY OVER THERE" was what this kid I hate yelled at me.
I lifted my foot, took a good running start, and kicked as hard as I could.
unfortunatly, the soccer ball was a few inches away from my foot...
...which had just gone 80mph straight down onto pavment and gravel.
tore my big toe straight sideways(no lie)
the fact that I still have my toe is amazing
another strange fact, it keapt burning an then tingling, so for like, the hour that I had to stay in school I was giggling, then swearing like a trucker, then giggling again
"HEY RYAN, YOULL NEVER KICK IT TO US FROM WAY OVER THERE" was what this kid I hate yelled at me.
I lifted my foot, took a good running start, and kicked as hard as I could.
unfortunatly, the soccer ball was a few inches away from my foot...
...which had just gone 80mph straight down onto pavment and gravel.
tore my big toe straight sideways(no lie)
the fact that I still have my toe is amazing
another strange fact, it keapt burning an then tingling, so for like, the hour that I had to stay in school I was giggling, then swearing like a trucker, then giggling again
I stuck a fork in a light socket when I was little, just because I had been told you shouldn't. You gotta learn somehow! I would also mention my brother breaking an aquarium open with his face due to carpet sliding in his sockets. Which would be funny if the reprocussions weren't so tragic. If you've ever seen Memento, he's like that, just not quite as bad off.
tried to eat a marshmallow after i pulled it out of the fire with it still on the metal stick thing(cant think what its called) kinda missed my mouth and caused some face burns
Oh, let's see.
I've broken my nose diving into the shallow end of a pool. I've also stapled my thumb by accident. Cut my thumb fighting with scissors with my friend(we were in second grade). I was learning to ride my bike when I fell off...and fell down a hill filled with gravel, trees and other stuff that hurt. Slammed a car door on my pinky finger. Playing paintball, I ran into some tall grass for cover and slammed the back of my head into a piece of wood that was hidden. Fallen down stairs. Walked into walls. I was tackled hard while playing football and couldn't use my right hand properly for 2 weeks. Burned my hand on a muffler. Hit myself in the nuts playing rock band drums. My personal favorite would have to be when my friends and I were going to make a trailer for a movie. I was supposed to climb a fence and jump into my backyard. Did I climb it? Yes. Did I make it over? No. I was almost over when my foot slipped, slamming the back of my thigh and crotch into the top of the fence, then fell backwards landing on my back. I think I fell 7+ feet. Stupid tall as fuck fence. I got it on video too, in case anyone wants to laugh. It was dark though.
I've broken my nose diving into the shallow end of a pool. I've also stapled my thumb by accident. Cut my thumb fighting with scissors with my friend(we were in second grade). I was learning to ride my bike when I fell off...and fell down a hill filled with gravel, trees and other stuff that hurt. Slammed a car door on my pinky finger. Playing paintball, I ran into some tall grass for cover and slammed the back of my head into a piece of wood that was hidden. Fallen down stairs. Walked into walls. I was tackled hard while playing football and couldn't use my right hand properly for 2 weeks. Burned my hand on a muffler. Hit myself in the nuts playing rock band drums. My personal favorite would have to be when my friends and I were going to make a trailer for a movie. I was supposed to climb a fence and jump into my backyard. Did I climb it? Yes. Did I make it over? No. I was almost over when my foot slipped, slamming the back of my thigh and crotch into the top of the fence, then fell backwards landing on my back. I think I fell 7+ feet. Stupid tall as fuck fence. I got it on video too, in case anyone wants to laugh. It was dark though.
When I was little and knew nothing of physics, I tried to shoot a sword out of a compound bow. I thought the result would be epic, when all that really happened was it fell forward onto my bed and then started to slide off on a collision course with my foot.
I caught it. By the blade. Cut that piece of skin between your thumb and pointer finger pretty deep, but otherwise I was pretty lucky. Stupid, but lucky.
I caught it. By the blade. Cut that piece of skin between your thumb and pointer finger pretty deep, but otherwise I was pretty lucky. Stupid, but lucky.
