dumbest way you hurt yourself

[MikailCaboose]

I was working on the back deck's roofing. I was helping lift the roof up into place when it started to fall. Me, of course, had to try to catch the damned thing. Needless to be said, the 2X4 support beam wasn't the only thing that got cracked .

 

[Sanguinius- The Angel]

So many to choose from?

I broke my head when I was three or four because I leaned back in a chair too far.
I broke my head again when I was eight when I was hiking, and I decided that it would be faster to get down the rock platforms if I jumped from one to the other.
I stabbed myself with a pencil because I was bouncing it on the eraser and catching it with my hand.
I bruised my neck when I ran right into the open oven door without looking.
Not to mention countless times when I ran into walls in my house on purpose. I honestly have no idea as to why I would do that.

Could it because you've broken your head twice?

 

[e2density]

Opening a package of that hard shrinkwrap plastic...was using an exacto knife. Forgot about that whole "always cut away from you" idea, exacto knife slipped and went right into the side of my thumb, hit bone...wouldn't stop bleeding for a while. Strangely, it didn't hurt, and the knife didn't have ANY blood on it whatsoever...

I guess the funniest part to the story is I was opening the package of a knife...lol....

 

[Gardenclaw]

Trying to peel the lid off one of those newish cans where you dont need a can opener. Think it was a heinz spaghetti bolognese can. Anyway i slipped as i was peeling the lid back and cut about the top 5mm off of my middle finger. Best bit was in A and E, told me they couldn't stitch it back on, so they glued it back on and its pretty much healed .

 

[Midnight Crossroads]

The dumbest thing I've ever done which resulted in an injury would probably be the time I dived into a shallow stream. Ouch. At least I got over my phobia of breaking my neck because of it.

 

[micky]

I was stabbing through a water bottle with a knife, but I put too much pressure and stabbed all the way through into my hand a bit...

ouch! that reminds me of a time when i was trying to skewer a frozen hot dog and and it slipped so i ended up skewering my thumb.

Your thumbs see a lot of action don't they?

yup they sure do i also stapled my thumb

 

[Eumersian]

So many to choose from?

I broke my head when I was three or four because I leaned back in a chair too far.
I broke my head again when I was eight when I was hiking, and I decided that it would be faster to get down the rock platforms if I jumped from one to the other.
I stabbed myself with a pencil because I was bouncing it on the eraser and catching it with my hand.
I bruised my neck when I ran right into the open oven door without looking.
Not to mention countless times when I ran into walls in my house on purpose. I honestly have no idea as to why I would do that.

Could it because you've broken your head twice?

I was really little when I did that. So I would have only broken my head once?I see your point.

 

[flangleelgnalf]

i have no idea

i cut myself with a gum wrapper once... >,<

please explain how that happened

i have no idea lol i unwrapped the gum, took it out and put it in my mouth, then i touched the wrapper again and managed to cut myself
and it was an EXTREMELY light touch...

 

[onewheeled]

I was working at my church, doing setup and sound for the junior high group. It was just me and this other guy, and we were playing techno music over the speakers and doing random shit.

I did the worm. I failed, and landed flat on my stomach. That was probably the worst pain I've caused myself.

 

[micky]

i have no idea

i cut myself with a gum wrapper once... >,<

please explain how that happened

i have no idea lol i unwrapped the gum, took it out and put it in my mouth, then i touched the wrapper again and managed to cut myself
and it was an EXTREMELY light touch...

thats weird maybe really sharp gum wrapper?

 

[Antitonic]

Wrestling on an old tree trunk. I managed to pull the other guy with me as I fell, and he sat quite firmly on my foot, breaking a couple bones in the middle.

 

[oxiclean]

i was trying to microwave bacon on a plastic plate and it didnt occur to me that the plate would heat up as well. i grabbed it barehanded and immediately threw it across the kitchen because it was so hot. luckily, all the bacon was safe.

 

[Redratson]

My brother walked away from my desk and just tripped face first into the floor and wwas wriething and pain and I just fell out of my chair laughing till I was almost blue in the face. You would have to be there to see he tripped over nothing. XD

 

[micky]

Opening a package of that hard shrinkwrap plastic...was using an exacto knife. Forgot about that whole "always cut away from you" idea, exacto knife slipped and went right into the side of my thumb, hit bone...wouldn't stop bleeding for a while. Strangely, it didn't hurt, and the knife didn't have ANY blood on it whatsoever...

I guess the funniest part to the story is I was opening the package of a knife...lol....

i cup myself opening one of those too, except i cut myself on the hard plastic that stuff is so darn sharp

 

[liljabba]

when i was drunk i round kicked a stop sign as hard as i could. im so glad years of muay thai has practically numbed my shins or i would have been in the fetal position crying

 

[AtomicKirb]

Dislocated my right knee-cap... by landing on a bed frame. I felt like such a dork in the hospital.

 

[Nu-Hir]

luckily, all the bacon was safe.

Thank God! I've hurt myself in so many stupid ways over the years. The last one was probably at work recently when I was helping unload a plane. No one was paying attention when this ~120lb box on a skid came down the belt. I was the first person to notice just as it was about to fall off and hit me. I grabbed it as fast as I could, tried to pick it up, and it just didn't happen. I dropped it and it fell on my leg. Luckily, all it did was scratch it kind of bad. The kind where it starts to bleed gradually (like a deep paper cut) and it just started to sting after the pain from dropping something really heavy on it wore off.

 

[Nieroshai]

I fell off of a boat trying to get my Gatorade off of the bimini. It turned into a rather graceful back-flip with a half-spin at the end, I'm told.

...the boat was on its trailer.
In a paved parking lot.
Aftermath: bleeding arm, bruised hip, broken cell phone.
My uncle was a dick too, saying his sun burn was worse than my injury.
All for a stupid gatorade...

Also, super-glued my palm to my face by accident. WTF?

 

[Riddle78]

I think I can top most of you.
I was biking down the street,full tilt on a mountain bike. I failed to see the parallel parked Jeep Cherokee that's not even twenty meters ahead,until the last fraction of a second. I jinked to the side,so I clipped the bumper and took a ride over the handlebars,landed ten meters away,with my wrist being th primary point of impact. There was NO BLOOD,surprisingly enough,and I landed on a concrete road. I tumbled five more meters,while my bike BOUNCED OVER MY HEAD and landed a few meters further. Get his,the broken wrist,which was my only injury,was done in SO BAD I needed to get sent to a specialized hospital.
And now the stupid part. The doctors said that if hit the Jeep head-on,the worst I would've gotten would be a sprain or two. Talk about the irony. And the counter-intuitiveness.

 

[Free Thinker]

Games: Shooting yourself in the head. Given that the bullets richochet.

Reality: Your junk + pants zipper.