Embarrassing sex-related stories
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My sister used to live here. They're around. Second of all, she was running around her house for 90 minutes and couldn't find her shit (like her lighter and cigarettes). She seemed to give up. At my house, she'd go into the bathroom for about 10 minutes at a time, running the sink a whole bunch. Then at the end, she told me she was on her period.Vault101 said:
I have no idea what she was doing in the bathroom. This is the best theory I could come up with.
Hmm I came pretty quickly once... thats about it.
Oh and I couldnt get it up once, tried everything stroking it, oral, slapping it off her face, but all to no avail..
Then again I could barely stand so asking him to stand was a bit much.
Oh and my GFs mum walking in on us, and the position was hmmm, less than romantic.
Oh and I couldnt get it up once, tried everything stroking it, oral, slapping it off her face, but all to no avail..
Then again I could barely stand so asking him to stand was a bit much.Oh and my GFs mum walking in on us, and the position was hmmm, less than romantic.
I was about 14-15 years old, and was head over heels in love with a girl at school. We were good friends, and hung out a lot in our spare time.
My best friend was constantly trying to hitch us, we often met up at his house. One weekend me and him saw some anime for the first time. MD Geist I think. And we thought it was awesome. The girl I was hot for was very cool, and we figured she would love that kind of stuff.
We rented a movie at the local video store, with a big awesome demon on the front cover.
As we sat down...something unexpected happened. Tentacles started flying out of nowhere and several rapescenes ensued. Title of the movie: Urotsukidoji. In case anyone wants to look it up................
It was probably the worst night of my life, and I doubt I have been that embarrassed before, or since.
My best friend was constantly trying to hitch us, we often met up at his house. One weekend me and him saw some anime for the first time. MD Geist I think. And we thought it was awesome. The girl I was hot for was very cool, and we figured she would love that kind of stuff.
We rented a movie at the local video store, with a big awesome demon on the front cover.
As we sat down...something unexpected happened. Tentacles started flying out of nowhere and several rapescenes ensued. Title of the movie: Urotsukidoji. In case anyone wants to look it up................
It was probably the worst night of my life, and I doubt I have been that embarrassed before, or since.
I can't help but feel that I'm within the right age bracket so that any sexual quirks are more funny than strange. The idea of being with a crier bothers me. I worry enough about inadvertently hurting my partner as it is. Constant sobbing would probably leave me more traumatized than elated.DevilWithaHalo said:
And while we're on the topic of screamers as well, I can say that it only becomes a problem depending on the pitch of her voice. The high range screeching is annoying but the low to middle range moaning-turn-screaming is more suitable. Also, it sounds like your screamer was right up against your ear. If so, you have my pity.
Oh, phew. ^^;;Sleekit said:
Well, this wasn't just a bed - it was a very sturdy, fairly expensive, recently purchased bed. And it wasn't so much the bed we broke as the box spring.
Okay, so I promised the story. My boyfriend at the time and I were having a bit of roleplay. I won't go into details, but it was a particularly rough session. My shoulders were on the bed, but he was literally holding my lower end up while we were going at it. I heard a crack, and felt the bed shift slightly, but I was having some incredible orgasms, so I did not give a fuck and told him to keep going. He did so. Eventually he finished and, as he was doing so, the bed shifted again and there was a thump on the ground.
After some clean up, we looked under the bed. There was a two-foot long piece of two-by-four on the ground. We'd broken the main support strut in two places, and pushed it out through the bottom of the box-spring.
The frame and mattress were fine. And, fortunately, the box-spring was still under warranty. Still, I imagine he had a very awkward conversation with the people at the bed store.
^^;; So there's the story of the time I broke a bed.
You've never gotten a blowjob? Huh. That seems something rather odd to be lacking when you've had hand-jobs and sex. Not at all? Not, even, like a brief foreplay blow job that doesn't result in orgasm?SckizoBoy said:'looks innocent' she says! Still, to be fair, in the... ahem... (unspecified number of) years I've been active, I'm oddly surprised how much I've done, considering I've never had a blowjob or done anal...
And about handjobs... one ex was oddly fixated with the sensation of getting shot on the back...
It's just hard to imagine. I mean, if you're using your hand, giving the tootsie roll a few licks just seems... you know, fun.
Also... her giving you a handjob where you finish on her back? **thinks about the layout** Wouldn't that be an awkward angle to give hand-jobs from? I've only ever had it on the back when using coitus-interuptis in doggy style.
Once I'm done with kids, I'm seriously considering having the lady version of that procedure. I know it's more complex, but damn, that's one huge worry over and done with.Thomas Guy said:
I do remember someone very poorly spiking the punch at a dance (seriously, whiskey? if you're gonna spike drinks at least spring for vodka so we can't smell it) and some guy getting hammered and trying to feel me up. And then realizing who I was and falling on his drunk ass getting away from me.
And one from my uncle: he had the old snip-snip and then found his wife knocked up a few months later. Got really pissed, insisted on a paternity test, was getting ready to leave her...and then the test showed the kid was his, a checkup revealed that the doctor hadn't snipped quite enough, and his tubes had scarred together enough to make him fertile again. He was ready to kill that doctor.
And one from my uncle: he had the old snip-snip and then found his wife knocked up a few months later. Got really pissed, insisted on a paternity test, was getting ready to leave her...and then the test showed the kid was his, a checkup revealed that the doctor hadn't snipped quite enough, and his tubes had scarred together enough to make him fertile again. He was ready to kill that doctor.
Well, I've never had a girl go down on me for the express purpose of sucking me off, but licking as a part of foreplay and other crotch-to-mouth activities, yes, and plenty of. But... stimulation, shall we say, by such means has always been relatively minimal, I guess. Besides, I'm generally waaaaaaaaaaay more into getting her off than myself.Bara_no_Hime said:
First time was by accident, she was reclining on top of me while I was pleasuring her, she grabbed me, shifted her body slightly for convenience before going nuts (in a number of ways)... really hard to describe, despite remembering it quite... vividly...Bara_no_Hime said:
If you want a strange but funny quirk; when I get too aroused too quickly I sneeze. Everyone I tell always looks at me funny when I sneeze normally. I am not aroused by dust people!Vern5 said:
I was with a woman who was halfway there, not a full blown sober, but someone who expressed happiness and joy with tears. It was awkward. I was really freaked out our first time, but she explained she was just so happy I was good in bed she couldn't contain herself. I do want to be flattered by that, but it's still strange to me.Vern5 said:
You think I would have learned after her first big moment. But no, I figured I was deaf enough at that point I wouldn't hear the next 7 (I was so, so very wrong). When she asked if my roommates were home I thought it was a general privacy thing. I'm fairly certain I concerned some of the neighbors... or inspired them.Vern5 said:
I also realized another type I had forgotten about that confused me; the shaker. Everyone tenses a little bit, shakes some, but this was serious full blown full body spasms like a minor earthquake; you could've mixed paint.
Pretty much anyone that seems to suffer from an extreme case of "anything" always gets me to raise an eyebrow.
*****
For those few that mentioned sex and sleep, you might have a case of sexsomnia. I have a case of it to, and it's led to interesting conversations in the morning or partners waking me up in the middle of the night demanding I finish the job. Pesky sleep disorders!
Aahh.SckizoBoy said:
Blow jobs are hard work. I can count the number of blow jobs I've actually brought to orgasm. Even with hands, it's hard to actually get a guy all the way there. Possible, sure, but it takes a long time and a lot of work and... honestly, at that point, I'd rather just have sex with the guy.
So great foreplay, but not a great finisher. At least not frequently.
That makes more sense. Still, sounds like an awkward angle to actually achieve orgasm from. Then again, excitement can overcome a lot of difficulty with positions.SckizoBoy said:
*opens mouth* *closes mouth* ... I'll take your word for it! =PBara_no_Hime said:
Seems a fair assessment. Perhaps I'm a bit too into roleplaying to actually want/appreciate an extended blowjob... *shrug* I've always been curious about how much one can be stimulated during foreplay without physical contact (or light contact at most). It can make the sex itself somewhat explosive, I guess you could say...
I'm turned on by... certain noises... she was making a lot of them!
Ah, I just remembered another one.
My family rents out some small apartments for students in a building next to our house (it used to be a stable).
One of the students that were renting with us a while ago was a screamer. Or moaner. She was loud in any case.
I could frequently hear her while trying to sleep, and I knew my parents could hear her too, which was awkward in and of itself.
That's not the story though.
I think it was during some sort of large scale visit at my house. I can't remember everyone that were visiting, but I remember my little sister (2 years younger than me) had at least one friend over (1 year younger than her).
They had decided to have a sleep-over in one of the apartments we weren't renting out at the moment. It happened to be the one located straight above ms. moaner's room.
Going to bed that night, I could hear her going at it again.
The next morning, my mom told me of how my little sister had come over in the middle of the night saying that her friend thought there were some dogs trapped and in pain in the apartment below them. My mom had to go over there and knock on the door.
Way to cockblock, little girl.
My family rents out some small apartments for students in a building next to our house (it used to be a stable).
One of the students that were renting with us a while ago was a screamer. Or moaner. She was loud in any case.
I could frequently hear her while trying to sleep, and I knew my parents could hear her too, which was awkward in and of itself.
That's not the story though.
I think it was during some sort of large scale visit at my house. I can't remember everyone that were visiting, but I remember my little sister (2 years younger than me) had at least one friend over (1 year younger than her).
They had decided to have a sleep-over in one of the apartments we weren't renting out at the moment. It happened to be the one located straight above ms. moaner's room.
Going to bed that night, I could hear her going at it again.
The next morning, my mom told me of how my little sister had come over in the middle of the night saying that her friend thought there were some dogs trapped and in pain in the apartment below them. My mom had to go over there and knock on the door.
Way to cockblock, little girl.
What? They are hard work!SckizoBoy said:
Or did you mean the counting thing? I was going to say I could count the number of times I'd gotten a guy off using only my mouth on one hand, but then I realized that that wasn't very helpful since mouth-only is basically the worst way to go. Hand and mouth works better, and I've succeeded at that more often - enough that hands (and toes) were not really a useful counting tool anymore.
As far as knowing the number... well, I'm kind of proud of the times I've successfully gotten a guy off with a blow job. It's not easy. Particularly since...
This. I've found that one of the best ways to get a guy off is to be vocal with my pleasure. Sure, I can do it quietly (oh, there's another story!) but I've noticed that guys tend to reach their peak faster if I'm louder.SckizoBoy said:
The problem is, this is an issue during blow jobs. They require concentration - it's hard to keep teeth away from sensitive bits, to breathe properly, etc - and it is pretty much impossible to pay proper attention to a blow job while someone is pleasuring ME. However, if I stop letting the guy pleasure me, and concentrate on him, my lack of "certain noises" actually makes the guy in question less aroused, and thus makes the blow job (or hand job) take longer.
That's one reason I actually prefer giving hand-jobs. They require a lot less concentration, and I can give one while getting one myself.
Since you didn't specify, I thought... by herself?! And reading it again... by herself?!Jonluw said:
LOL, made a poor joke with the whole '*opens mouth* *closes mouth*' bit. That said, now you mention toes... I would've thought that a foot-job would be difficult at the best of times for most women, and I personally can't see it being that appealing.Bara_no_Hime said:
Probably a reason why I wouldn't be so into blowjobs then... my hands must be occupied! So the noises are generally a part of the deal regardless.
And feel free with the story... I've got one about... a complete loss of concentration... ¬_¬
Well, there's that time that my first girlfriend broke up with me because I wouldn't have sex with her. That was a lark...
Egads, no. Ick.SckizoBoy said:
That is one Japanese fetish I have never understood. Really, what is the appeal?
I mean, I've watched porn of it (the internet is a terrible and yet wonderful thing) and I still don't understand how it's supposed to work. How could that possibly be pleasurable for... anyone involved? I just do not get it.
I'm in the middle of something at the moment. Just had time for a quick check and reply.SckizoBoy said:
Remind me later and I will. If I don't remember, it's the story about trying to have sex as quietly as possible because of where we were at the time.