Escape to the Movies: A Nightmare on Elm Street

[LGC Pominator]

Moviebob reviewing a Michael Bay movie, subsequent random stab at Halo, called it as soon as I did see the platinum dunes logo.

I think I might not even bother with these reviews any more, getting older I find myself increasingly tired of having to defend my preferred game series and the literary value thereof from people on this website, I know the formula for success is to be as much like Yahtzee as possible, and therefore a dislike of Halo is kind of symptomatic, but I have to ask, is it really 100% necessary to repeatedly attack something that you clearly have no understanding of, nor desire to involve yourself with?
It is different with things like Twilight, we have read the books, we have seen the movies, the literary value is absolute trash, but we know this because we have experienced it, we understand that the author put no effort into her creation and it was basically a documented series of wet dreams, halo however, the story, the work of Eric Nylund and Joseph Staten in creating an absolutely epic world, complete with amazing and interesting characters and plot twists, the composition of Marty O'Donnell, all of that work that went into creating such a masterpiece and yet every few reviews it suddenly seems necessary to remind everyone that you have no concept of this work and are quite frankly one very annoying human being when it comes to discussing it.

On the subject of the actual review, I have to say that the movie was definitely not among my favourite Nightmare movies, but I aren't the best judge, on account of not being a fan of horror movies in general, I will say that the casting of Rorschach as Freddy was pretty much perfect.

I haven't really come to expect much from a movie with Michael Bay's name attached to it, that said, I did enjoy such dumb fun as the bad boys movies and even the transformers, with friends and completely over-faced on sugary treats, his movies are just that, dumb fun, I certainly don't go to see one of his movies expecting some sort of philosophical treatise, but when it comes to making things explode and making it enjoyable to the audience, yeah I would give Bay the thumbs up, and it is because of this that I don't want him anywhere NEAR Halo, because he certainly is not good at forming or sticking to a coherent narrative, making decent casting decisions or even following the fiction that surrounds the universe of his source material.

Now without a shadow of a doubt, Moviebob will go on to quote some of the Halo fans here in his typical American frat boy stereotype voice, asserting his mental superiority over us lesser plebeians, so just for the record, I am the youngest student at the largest nanotechnology researching university in Europe (that is Leeds by the way), being born just a few hours later would have me still in college, I am 18 years old, with approximately 10 more years of study at this university on the subject of molecular nanotechnology, I do not drink, I have a decent sex life, I have been in more than my fair share of physical conflicts and I am certainly not a fat socially retarded nerd, therefore I would appreciate it that when the inevitable backlash does occur, as it always does, at least I may not be portrayed in this way, as it is more than annoying and I would like to think that as a culture, we on the internet have outgrown the need to automatically classify other people as either being jocks or nerds.

 

[CaptainCrunch]

Is there some clause in the Escapist contracts that require you critics to take potshots at Halo?

Innovations in multiplayer gameplay and standardizing the controller setup aside, what exactly has Halo done with storytelling that can't be found in a canned-plot movie?

And what has your post done on innovating Halo hating? The main elements in Halo's story may have been cliche to the point of ridiculousness (with the zombies, aliens, robots, super weapons, and ancient aliens in one neat package), but I thought Bungie did a good job of crafting all these things together to create an interesting universe, albiet cliche.

OT:I was never planning to see this anyway, because I don't find horror movies interesting.

Way to take it way out of context, dude. I don't like Halo because of the story, and it's totally fine if you or anyone else does. Like MovieBob, I have stated an opinion, which is a subjective assessment of some observations. My post was not an attack on anyone, but merely a "Hey dude, not liking something for a reason is not always the same thing as hate. Here's one reason why MovieBob may have said that thing you disagree with."

There is no way to stop people from disagreeing with you, but there is no reason to assume disagreement translates to hate. Hate requires passionate (or zealous) belief that you are objectively correct, which I most certainly lack when it comes to the subject of Halo.

 

[philosophicalbastard]

And what has your post done on innovating Halo hating? The main elements in Halo's story may have been cliche to the point of ridiculousness (with the zombies, aliens, robots, super weapons, and ancient aliens in one neat package), but I thought Bungie did a good job of crafting all these things together to create an interesting universe, albiet cliche.

OT:I was never planning to see this anyway, because I don't find horror movies interesting.

Way to take it way out of context, dude. I don't like Halo because of the story, and it's totally fine if you or anyone else does. Like MovieBob, I have stated an opinion, which is a subjective assessment of some observations. My post was not an attack on anyone, but merely a "Hey dude, not liking something for a reason is not always the same thing as hate. Here's one reason why MovieBob may have said that thing you disagree with."

There is no way to stop people from disagreeing with you, but there is no reason to assume disagreement translates to hate. Hate requires passionate (or zealous) belief that you are objectively correct, which I most certainly lack when it comes to the subject of Halo.

Sorry, the first sentence came out a more hostile than intended. I wanted to express my views on why I liked Halo's story while acknowledging your reasons for not liking it. In any case you don't like and I do, and there is nothing that will change eithers minds so its best to move on and learn from this experience.

 

[TheSapphireKnight]

I agree - Michael Bay + Halo = happy Halo fanboys.

Go have fun.

Nice review, Bob, and thanks for saving Mr. Haley from the ire.

Actually no, in fact Halo fans would exactly the opposite reaction.

 

[dmase]

I saw the preview in theatres and i was really hyped about this because it looked cool, had the guy who did roarshak(spelling?), and having missed the original set of nightmares because i'm young i wanted to be able to come home and be like dad guess what i saw.... Oh well i guess i'll stream for free.

 

[dex-dex]

Michael Bay once again manages to rape one of my favorite franchises.

i sugguest we go kill him!

on topic: once bob said the production company was by Michael bay was to remake horror films all i could say was fuck

seriously let's band together and kill this fucker!

 

[auronvi]

I hope the inevitable Halo movie is bad... maybe all the halo-tards can realize how simple and dumb the actual game is.

Halo Fans are as bad as Twilight fans.

 

[stickmangrit]

bigass well written rant about Halo.

whilst i have nowhere near your list of academic qualifications, at 24 years of age i do have half a decade of perspective on the matter, and i'll try to illuminate you on the Halo backlash you find so uncalled for and perplexing.

firstly, to reiterate what Captain Crunch and i have said already in this thread, Halo was indeed revolutionary for being the first legitimate FPS to hit the console market. it was the first time that a console FPS had graphics, AI, and gameplay on a level approximating that of the FPS's those of us in the PC gaming community had been enjoying since the late nineties. remember that upon the release of Halo, those of us with gaming PCs were enjoying Battlefield 1942, Half Life's mod community(with Counter-Strike suddenly challenged by Day of Defeat as the new mod on the block), Unreal Tournament, Deux Ex, the Thief series, and countless other classic first person shooters. whilst Halo was a remarkably successful experiment in making the FPS function with a gamepad instead of the traditional mouse and keyboard, it's reception amongst then prevalent FPS fans ranged from "it's pretty fun" to "this will be awesome once it hits PC and we get a mod community behind it." but to your age group, it was the first time you'd played a real first person shooter(the closest prior being Goldeneye and Perfect Dark). as the PC market started dying out and first person shooters moved en masse to consoles, a schism not unlike that of the SNES Final Fantasy fandom v. folks who started out with FFVII started, and has only grown over the years. as the XBox slowly replaced the PC as the preeminent FPS platform, a not inconsiderable amount of resentment has been leveled at Halo for spearheading this movement. whilst this is largely unfair to the Halo franchise, it should be understood that no small amount of the hyperbole leveled at Halo comes from this resentment.

as for the story itself, i remember playing Combat Evolved and being largely unimpressed, but not completely turned off. it certainly didn't hold a candle to the likes of Thief, Half-Life, or Deux Ex. it was, unsurprisingly, the same Space Marine v. Aliens deal we'd seen countless times since the release of Doom. Halo was, however, a fun game, and far more conducive to basement LAN parties if only because it required four X-Boxes and 16 controllers rather than 16 PCs to get going. but i do remember the pre-release hype for Halo 2. i remember waiting forever to download new trailers on our blazing 56k modems. and what we saw was amazing. we were being promised massive scale warfare on Earth. literally every single tidbit of news was about Earth, and the large-scale warfare we'd be engaging in with the Covenant there. we were promised a game whose sheer scope and scale was unlike anything we'd ever seen.

i also remember the day Halo 2 launched. i remember going to my friends house, all of us psyched to see this promised new era in gameplay. we were ready to boot up the co-op and defend the earth. an hour and a half later we were on another fucking Halo doing the exact same shit we did in the last game, only now the cutscene engine and shotgun didn't work worth a damn. that was when I stopped giving a shit entirely. oh i played my share of deathmatches, captured my share of flags, and enjoyed myself with my friends on the multiplayer, but to this day i've never played past the fourth mission of Halo 2. i've never seen the end of that game, and i feel no worse for it. it was, and remains, a boilerplate FPS notable only for pioneering a new platform for the genre(which remains an incredible feat, and a distinct turning point for video games as a medium). i understand that for you it was likely a revelation, the first success in a long line of failures, ambitious or otherwise. i appreciate that this colors your perception of the game, and seeing as your(and that of most of your age group's) idea of what an FPS should be was shaped almost entirely by Halo. but the fact is that the Halo series has been outclassed in almost every way by better franchises, many of which were around long before Microsoft bought out Bungie.

 

[SecondmateFlint]

I saw the first Nightmare on Elm street when I was ten or eleven. Ever since then I've had a hard time even looking at Freddy Krueger. I am avoiding this movie not because it's terrible, but because I couldn't handle it.

When I worked at a haunted house this past season I had to work in the boiler room and had a hard time with it. I don't think I can see this movie.

Plus the fact that it has Michael Bay's name on it just hammered the last nail in the coffin.

 

[Orinon]

Michael bay doing a Halo movie that would actually work. I don't see how it couldn't work, It would suck but at least he would be working with his specialty (Shitty Action movies)

 

[Nomanslander]

I don't understand how some people are against this, Halo and Bay would go perfect together, I mean Halo is made for the likes of Bay to direct.

On one hand you have a director that does nothing but big dumb military fetish-ed overly melo-dramatized action movies stuffed with ADHD style and a thousand gallons of redbull, and on the other hand you have a franchise...

I mean...they're just so perfect for each other...=)







Oh, look at it this way Halo fanboys, Bay would also be perfect for Gears of War too, and I love that big dumb machofest series to death....lol


Just gotta come to turns with the stuff you're a fanboy of, and in this case something really big dumb, and proud of it's pointless self...=/

 

[viking97]

sadly, a micheal bay halo move is something that a lot of the fans would love.

 

[Deacon Cole]

Overall, were I to remake Nightmare On Elm Street, I would have made a few changes. Not the changes the actual remake made. I would have had Freddy terrorize younger kids rather than teenagers. Probably a stupid idea give that kids usually can't act and tend to have all kids of restrictions on how long they can work and such. So I would have to shoot in Croatia. But this would be important as it shows what Fred Krueger really is: a weak coward who can only feel strong by picking on something helpless. Hence younger children, like ten or so. This will make it even better when the kids fight back because you can expect teenagers to at least take a swing at a guy. But most importantly I would need to replicate that feeling of dread that is in the best moments of the series. Freddy works best when he's toying with his prey than when he finally dispatches them. It's all psychological, like the opening for Scream. He's not a hack and slash killer. His knives are more for show than use. He's in it to freak out his prey because that gives him a charge.

Anyway, this is just me rambling at this point. Pity the new movie is no good, but what did anyone expect?

 

[Alphakirby]

Wow so all remakes are made by Micheal Bay, so fukin' sad

 

[wadark]

To respond briefly: Bullshit.

To respond at more length: Good and bad movies do exist. Yes, fine when you say you enjoyed Transformers 2, you're not wrong.
Doesn't stop the script and story from being tripe, the acting being pathetic, the directing ranging from poor to average, the characters being either annoying or perfunctory and the action from being confusing. Yes you can LIKE films that are considered bad. I like oh say, Boa vs. Python and that was a TERRIBLE movie. But there are ways of measuring a films quality, and if it doesn't meet those measurements, it is a bad film.
So to summarize: Bullshit.

I'm assuming you didn't bother to read my second post, so I'll say it again because I love to hear myself.....type.

Anyway, I'd like to call bullshit right back. Everything you say about what can make a movie "terrible" is based on a standard that was created by someone. That someone or someones created these standards using their own opinions about what makes a movie good. Like in previous "arts" (painting, sculpting, etc.) these standards shift and change over time. And given the nature of the film business, those standards shift far more rapidly than ever before. Given that, I don't understand how we can have this single set-in-stone standard that defines good and bad.

And even if you can say that a movie is bad based on those standards, that doesn't mean that it's "law" for every viewer. Again, I loved Transformers, but I am no less of a person for liking a movie that you or Bob didn't like. And I pity people who would let a reviewer tell them to not go see a movie. I would rather see 1000 bad movies than miss a single good one.

 

[RoyalWelsh]

I might go and see this film just because Jackie Earle Haley is in it.

 

[Vrex360]

*sigh*

Once again, a single pot shot about Halo is all anyone needs to get like, a million comments on a video. I OPPOSE the idea of Micheal Bay targetting a Halo movie, because frankly there is a depth to the story and setting that a lot of people don't give the series credit for.
Trust me, if done right, Halo could be pretty damn sensational..... but of course that's a big if.


Anyway, had to get that outta the way. Yeah, I appreciate that Jackie Earle Haley got to stay in his bubble of protection because his presence was the only thing that I thought would be a redeeming feature for this movie and I'm really not surprised to hear that this one isn't a good movie given that none of the other predecessors were.
Honestly, with Friday the Thirteenth I didn't think it was ruined but it played it so safe and did exactly the same thing it always did back in the day, thus making this reboot just feel like a pointless addition that wasn't going to sell. I think the point of a reboot should always be to actually try things differently and absolutley NONE of these remakes have, so hence, what's the point of them being made? You know?
So yeah, while I disagree with your points on Halo, still agree with the rest of the video, you made some good points.

 

[Rayansaki]

Michael Bay doing a Halo movie... much better idea than Peter Jackson doing a Halo movie...

AMEN. We don't want a good director like Jackson to ruin his career. Bay has no talent so lets give it to him.

Michael Bay is talented. He's just not talented at story telling. Since Halo has pretty crappy story anyway, and is more focused on heavy explosive action, Michael Bay would probably actually make a decent Halo movie. And decent, for a video game based movie, is very good!

I hate Halo, but I would probably go see a Halo movie if it was directed by Michael Bay.

 

[Groovy Wondermonkey]

Is there some clause in the Escapist contracts that require you critics to take potshots at Halo?

Any critic over 12 years old is entitled to piss all over Halo. It is flat out terrible. For people for whom Halo was their first FPS I can see why they might be fooled into thinking it is good, but that is what ignorance does to you. Halo is a blatant Doom ripoff and it does not even offer anything new or interesting to the FPS genre, it is canned rehash of the worst sort.
Doom defined a genre, and even each sequel offered something new, granted the technology was developing at a faster pace then than it is now, but that is besides the point. Halo is no more complex or creative than copy -> paste.
I just know all you Halo pukes are gonna cry big soppy tears and have fits of nerd rage but fact is fact. Halo is a straight ripoff. Go play all the classic Doom games, then play Quake and Quake 2. Hell, even play Duke Nukem. If you are unable to see all the things that Halo stole then you are not paying attention.

So by all means, Movie Bob, Yahtzee and any other critic anywhere who want to pick on Halo or point out that it is mass produced slop in the deli line for a horde of lemmings is more than within their rights to do so.

-GWM