Escape to the Movies: Centurion

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FeathersMcgraw

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Aug 27, 2010
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Shale_Dirk said:
Actually, he can do whatever the hell he wants. He has a video review on a fairly popular website. You don't.
A show no one will watch because he acts like a douche and drools over woman all the time.
 

Swiftous

New member
Aug 20, 2010
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The whole extra Expendables thing in this review seems to have been thrown in just to rub salt in the wound. And to further aggrvate said wound, You went on how awesome Piranha 3D movie was because it showed some skin.

MelasZepheos said:
It's hard to take seriously a man who says that Kelly Brook naked is enough to make a film worth watching.

Because she's not, she's the sort of thing that anyone with a brain would hold up as a specific reason not to see a movie. We have the internet for nudity, we have porno mags for nudity, we even have Page 3 of the Sun and various other 'respectable' sources for nudity of the sort kelly Brook can supply. What we have movies for is story. It doesn't have to be a good story, but it can't be supported alone by Kelly's bra.
This is usually my reasoning for not watching any movie that tries to bank on the hotness of their star or to people who tell me to watch a movie that shows some skin.

So instead of a review we got Bob saying what makes even a bad move good is some boobs. Which came off kind of cheesy or creepy or even both. Its like Roger Egbert saying he liked it because he saw some mammaries. Im a red blooded male just like all the other males, and I like my fair share of boobs, but boobs on something that is awful doesn't make it better. It just is awful with boobs.

What I would of liked is for Bob to have commented how this is a remake of the first movie. The first was produced by Roger Corman who made a name for himself by making B-movies. The sequel Piranha 2: The Spawning was James Cameron's first time directing, thus his debut. How Richard Dreyfuss makes a cameo as the character he played in Jaws, in which the first Piranha was a parody of. This is all info that was be interesting in a review, not like how bob told us how much of a man he is with his love of boobs.

Though the it on Centurion does make for a better review that his past ones. Why couldn't he do stuff like that but better normally.
 

AngelSword

Castles & Chemo Founder
Oct 19, 2008
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You didn't sell me on Piranhas, despite your praise. But I've never heard of Centurion, and that actually appeals to me.

So, thanks for that =)
 

voetballeeuw

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May 3, 2010
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Not sure if this was brough up but wasn't Inglorious Basterds released last August? Cuz that was awesome! Centurion looks pretty interesting.
 
Dec 16, 2009
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snowfox said:
Point critically missed.

While most people griped that you offended those that went to see or even enjoyed Expendables. My main gripe was, while you went on a rampage last week, you didn't exactly "Review" anything. Like I said last week, I know nothing more about the film besides "Bob doesn't like it." This week? I now know that "Bob likes boobs and likes Dog Soldiers." (Which, yeah Dog Soldiers is a damn good movie, and yeah boobs are always great, but they are no reason alone to see a film unless you're watching porn.)

You're so certain that this movie sucks, but you have yet to tell us why besides "It's dumb" or "It's bad." This week, you continue with it, but instead of explaining to us why you felt these feelings about the movie, you try to distract us with other movies instead, all while at the same time, rubbing it in that you don't like the Expendables. If anything, it just seemed that you threw it in there just to piss everyone off more than you did last week. If that is the case, then I guess haha the jokes on all of us, but I feel you may be slipping down that slope where you realize that professional internet trolling scores more hits than being a professional reviewer.

If for some reason you can't say without spoiling the movie, then tell us you can't, or put it in a spoiler box... It'll be a lot closer to doing your job than what you're actually doing right now.

Either that or just drop it all together...

Watch your review of Splice, then watch your review of the expendables and this one again... You can see why I'm sad to see you acting out like this. Your older reviews contained information about the movies that allowed me to get a better grasp of what I'm about to see. Currently all I'm seeing is "Loved it, sucked, boobs, and that one guy from Inglorious Basterds."

What happened?
says it better than i could, especially the "the jokes on all of us, but I feel you may be slipping down that slope where you realize that professional internet trolling scores more hits than being a professional reviewer" I think we should vote with our clicks n boycott til he sorts his act out
 

pauloalbatross

New member
Nov 10, 2009
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I'd disagree with the comment about the Expendables "Y'know what would have made this work? If one of the guys had been a monkey. You know I'm right", as there's already a monkey - haven't you seen Sly Stallone lately? He's just the most monkeylike of a cast of quite apish characters.
 

JFSOCC

New member
Apr 5, 2010
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I couldn't even finish the review, sorry, but the introduction was already such bullshit.
I liked the Expendables, and usually I prefer high-brow. but Along with the A-team, the Expendables does a good job of bringing the 90's action movie genre back. it was entertaining as hell, and it had a high production value. Piranhas, however, lacks all of that, if you want to see a movie that is bad because it can be bad, that's the movie to go to.

Bob, missing the mark once again.

Also, it would be nice if you grow a bit in what Genres you watch, I mean, horror flicks, super hero movies, doomsday films, over the top action flicks, and some comedy, preferably animated comedy. these are childrens/teenager movie preferences.
 

Deathninja19

New member
Dec 7, 2009
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Alright we get it Bob you are a hetrosexual, you like women, now can we please get some actual critisism the film like why it's good or bad using examples from the film? I'm getting sick of Bob just telling us to see a film I need to know why I should see it. And seriously he insults us for liking a silly throwback to action films while gushing over a silly throwback to creature features, bias much?
 

zHellas

Quite Not Right
Feb 7, 2010
2,672
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Axolotl said:
wooty said:
So....... essentially a good film is just tonnes of blood and a pair of tits?
Evidently his favorite film of all time is Caligula.
No, the Cinema Snob's all time favorite film is Caligula.

I'm not sure what MovieBob's all time favorite film is.
 

Chrissyluky

New member
Jul 3, 2009
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Axolotl said:
People didn't complain because you critisised the Expendables.

They complained because you insulted people whio went to see it.

You see the difference between those 2 things?
They took an insult personally from someone you have never met. Now that is something to criticize.
Honestly piranha 3d being watchable shocked me.
 

krgskks

New member
Jan 11, 2010
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Ok, Bob. WHAT THE FUCK? The Descent is an excellent movie? Did I miss something. That piece of garbage was as boring and unimaginative as anything could get. Also the actors were horrible.
Expendables was good, it had blood, some cool death scenes and that's it. Probably on the same level as Piranha.
But then again you also thought Avatar was a good movie. Usually your opinions are along the same lines as mine, but I swear in the last few weeks that seems different (The Hills Have Eyes is good? Seriously?).
 

JackieTreehornJr

New member
Aug 27, 2010
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Mr Ink 5000 said:
snowfox said:
Point critically missed.

While most people griped that you offended those that went to see or even enjoyed Expendables. My main gripe was, while you went on a rampage last week, you didn't exactly "Review" anything. Like I said last week, I know nothing more about the film besides "Bob doesn't like it." This week? I now know that "Bob likes boobs and likes Dog Soldiers." (Which, yeah Dog Soldiers is a damn good movie, and yeah boobs are always great, but they are no reason alone to see a film unless you're watching porn.)

You're so certain that this movie sucks, but you have yet to tell us why besides "It's dumb" or "It's bad." This week, you continue with it, but instead of explaining to us why you felt these feelings about the movie, you try to distract us with other movies instead, all while at the same time, rubbing it in that you don't like the Expendables. If anything, it just seemed that you threw it in there just to piss everyone off more than you did last week. If that is the case, then I guess haha the jokes on all of us, but I feel you may be slipping down that slope where you realize that professional internet trolling scores more hits than being a professional reviewer.

If for some reason you can't say without spoiling the movie, then tell us you can't, or put it in a spoiler box... It'll be a lot closer to doing your job than what you're actually doing right now.

Either that or just drop it all together...

Watch your review of Splice, then watch your review of the expendables and this one again... You can see why I'm sad to see you acting out like this. Your older reviews contained information about the movies that allowed me to get a better grasp of what I'm about to see. Currently all I'm seeing is "Loved it, sucked, boobs, and that one guy from Inglorious Basterds."

What happened?
says it better than i could, especially the "the jokes on all of us, but I feel you may be slipping down that slope where you realize that professional internet trolling scores more hits than being a professional reviewer" I think we should vote with our clicks n boycott til he sorts his act out
I know I will. I've signed up here just to say I used to be a big fan of Bob's but to be frank, there are plenty other internet reviewers (Spoony, Cinema Snob, etc.) to spend my time on that don't come across as bitter, sexist hypocrites.

Have fun doing what you're doing Bob, because it won't last, especially if you manage to drive away the rest of your fanbase.
 

kibayasu

New member
Jan 3, 2008
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So to simply matters:

Bad movie + explosions = Bad movie

Bad movie + tits = Good movie


Yeah, I think we know who the actual frat boy around here is.
 

Devin Parker

New member
Jul 7, 2010
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The perving's starting to get a bit old, MovieBob. There was a time when people referred to this sort of thing as "exploitation". It's cynical and frankly a bit disturbing, especially (as a previous commenter mentioned) when the aforementioned hot girl then gets killed in a grisly way. I'm not certain if we're meant to cheer on the death of the girl we were just aroused by (or worse, if we're meant to be aroused by her death), but that seems to be just the Pavlovian response these sorts of films are trying to program into us. B-Movie or not, this is creepy.

I've been excited about "Centurion" since I saw the preview at the theater (can't even remember which movie it was I was going to see when I saw the trailer), but I've been disappointed by the lack of advertising for it. I expect it'll probably do quite poorly at the theater, which makes me sad, because I love historical adventure movies.
 

Axolotl

New member
Feb 17, 2008
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zHellas said:
Axolotl said:
wooty said:
So....... essentially a good film is just tonnes of blood and a pair of tits?
Evidently his favorite film of all time is Caligula.
No, the Cinema Snob's all time favorite film is Caligula.

I'm not sure what MovieBob's all time favorite film is.
He said in a previous review it was Robocop. Make of that what you will.