Escape to the Movies: Jennifer's Body

[Kiereek]

i'm soooo glad someone else finally brought this up. she's not amazing. she's like the female samuel l. jackson of our day. he's everywhere, and i'm tired of it.

 

[DrunkWithPower]

Is there boobs seen in this movie? If no, I won't see it but if yes, I wont see it.

 

[008Zulu_v1legacy]

So some Emo band tries to sacrifice a virgin in a statanic ritual, are they blind? Do they think anyone who looks like that would still be a virgin? Why didn't they raid the chess club instead? How does killing non-virgins result in a half demon cannibal who likes making out with other girls? Why do people think Megan Fox can act? Why do people keep letting Michael Bay T-Bag anything and everything that falls within his field of vision?

seriously, bay gets off on geeks' rants the same way uwe boll does

Maybe Boll and Bay are having a secret competition to see who can make the crappiest movie in existance.

 

[pliusmannn]

seriously. where would the world be if nerds didn't get dumped by hot women in high school

We'd still be stuck in caves as all the smart people would be being distracted by sex....

God damnit, I need a girlfriend!

go to the nightclub or a pub or somewhere, don't sit by pc

But then I'd have an "Alkey Holic" girlfriend; seriously, in the UK, everyone who goes to a pub on the weekend is gonna die of liver failure aged 30.

That's why you don't have a girlfriend, you bother things which you shouldn't, c'mon man chill out because you will die slowly and lonely, when others die happy and fast (but painfully)

 

[mrtenk]

Thanks MovieBob you definitely saved me a few bucks on this film that I wasn't planning to see anyways. Who knew meghan fox would bring a phenomonally bad performance to a movie with an incredibly stupid premise? Somthing tells me that the theatre full of over-optimistic new moon preteens will be sadly disappointed and, in that sort of situation, I'll sit there maniacally laughing while watching an MP4 of Crank on my iPod touch.

what was I ranting about? oh yea. and you have a point with that bit on "those chicks who wouldnt fuck us in highschool." Why not take out our nerd rage on the beautiful but talentless wrecks they've become? I say were entitled to our opinions!

Shit I need to get laid...

 

[seifer201]

Sorry, but Indie and satanic rituals, I see one problem with that, if an Indie band won't sign themseves over to a big company why in hell would they sign themselves to satan?

I don't know much about Megan Fox's acting ability, but from my experence in GCSE Drama, for the good looking ones, acting ability is ignored... I mean who actually knows what they are saying. I know what they are saying and it's mostly wrong, but a Director wil never say that if they have "A good face for film"...

 

[standokan]

I guess the only reason for watching this movie would be because of megan fox and her twins, that already shows whats wrong with the movie -.- .

 

[Snowalker]

Agree with everything except "90's horror sucked".
What about Silence of the Lambs and Seven, eh?

Although those are more like thriller movies, but still.

Horror movies sucked. I think they do most of the time anyway, but whatever. Thrillers however seem to hold themselves to a higher regard, why? Because they actually intend to make you feel some emotion. Thats why they seem to have good stories and better actors, so it gets you more into the movie. Btw, Silence of the Lambs is one of the best movies ever made, I don't think I'm the only one who believes this ethier.

 

[Zedzero]

Transformers is the best movie of all time.

Fucking brilliant. Except i thought that Scream was great. Otherwise, fucking brilliant.

Jesus Christ, stop bashing Transformers so much. We get it, you didn't like those films. Quite a few people (myself included) actually enjoyed them.

Agrred. Except the 90's suck, Nirvana, Radiohead I don't think so! At least there were some great bands, unlike the 80's.

Spoiler: My simultaneous response to the above

---

I actually can't believe I am half coming to the defense of this movie, but I think the only reason I am is because of a few points made.

#1- In actual demon mythology if you were to make a sacrifice of someone who was not a virgin the exact thing that would happen ... well happened. So not really bad plot 'writing' as it was cut and paste from an actual form of mythology. So I can't find a reason to knock that,.

You seem well versed in actual demon mythology. Do you think you could recommend a book or two of the actual demon mythology variety? Because last time I checked, pretty much every faith in the past millennia or so has it's own form of "demons", and I'm pretty sure hardly any of them had anything to do with sacrifices, virgin or not.

Except, of course, actual demon mythology.

I'm sorry but you fail. I didn't like some of those 90s bands until late 2000 well past the age of twelve. Also Pirates of the Carribean (sp), just the first one, is a good film, its entertaining in many ways.

 

[sln333]

Thank you for ripping this movie apart. It was long overdue because of all the sad hype it got.

 

[outcast_within]

uppity the sound quality puhleazuh!

 

[WaderiAAA]

Megan Foz doesn't work for me either. She is a little too slutty. Totally agree with you that Natalie Portman is way better.

Oh, and I liked the ending joke, because it surprised me. I expected a Yatzee-esque responce.

 

[Woodsey]

Megan Fox isn't bland - a little on the unintelligent side, but f*ck me.

YUM.

And who cares if she's not the smartest person? If she offered who would actually sit there and say "well you're good looking but let's just check that IQ of yours."

 

[Jacques 2]

Tesla, Edison, Einstein

I don't know about Edison and Tesla, but for the record, Einstein was married way before he published any of his major theories.

As for the island, I agree, there were giant holes in the plot and atrocious product placement, and it was derivative from THX 1138. However, it wasn't a purely BAD movie in my opinion. The basic ideas were interesting, the art direction was good, the actors were good (at least as far as I remember) and there were a few interesting plot twists even if they seemed a bit cliché, and it wasn't badly shot (but in a very conventionnal way most of the time).

I don't think it was a bad movie like Transformers or Armageddon were.

On Edison, he wasn't a genius in any sense except buisness (though he failed at propaganda despite trying frighteningly hard), any maybe, evil, otherwise, he was a no talent corporate fat cat that only did 2 really good things; the incandescent light bulb (mind you, it was probably invented by a scientist under his employ) and get Tesla to come to the US (given, he lied to him and stole many ideas from Tesla, but he might not have come over for a while longer, were it not for Edison)

Tesla and women... well, he liked women and women liked him, in America, before that he was a poor son of a priest and a seamstress in a more heavily class based society. Given, he never married to my knowledge, but he also had a repulsion to jewelry because of his association between precious metal body decorations and leaving people to starve and die in the gutter; in the end, the ring if anything would have put him off. Talk about afraid of commitment, oh and yeah, definitely genius.

Einstein, had many romantic interests, many, and after marrying he made his wife and children miserable (he married his work some time around when he learned how to do math, say 6th grade). Mathematical genius, and easily manipulated by colleagues, except on the topic of Quantum Physics.

As for this review: Agreed

As for Scarlett Johnason: She's not a bad actress exactly, she's not Natalie Portman, but she's alright (given she's not required to scream... anything... EVER), oh, and she has the best real tits in Hollywood.

EDIT: on the above post regarding whether or not you would do Megan given the chance, I think it's a given that if you insert any hot woman into an open bedroom area and invite the man to do what his loins are thinking about doing, they'll fuck em, however, the real challenge is would you cheat on a girlfriend (mind you, one that you actually like) with that person because they are that irresistible? Megan Fox- tempting, but no, hesitation before saying, or attempting to say, get the fuck out of my room/bed, about 5-6 seconds, after the WTF wears off/ Scarlett Johanson, tempting, but... damn, that's tough, maybe; given a "no" arises and my dick doesn't win the war with my heart, about 30secs-3 minutes before saying GTFOoMR/B.

 

[obliterate]

I know why you reviewed this, because Megan Fox is in it and that is all. She may be hot but she's dumb as a brick(her interviews prove that).

I thought the brick was smarter then Megan Fox?

Come to think of it it is...no one should insult the brick THAT much

 

[dragonburner]

I agree with every comment about Megan Fox.

Yeah, shes pretty hot, but there are hotter women in my Hooters calendar. I honestly have never understood what all the fuss is about.

Same here

 

[RTR]

Kevin Smith rules!!!!

 

[Akihiko]

Hah, I'd probably just see this film just to see Megan Fox get owned. Hate her.

(Yeah, I also don't see what the big deal about her is. If you wanted naked hot chicks, then use the internet, yo)

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

On Transformers:

I asked three people today who've watched Transformers if they could name some of the Transformers. They could name Bumblebee.

All three could name Megan Fox and Shia Lebouf.

That's why the movie was bad. It simply wasn't Transformers.

 

[Vault Citizen]

Movie Bob talks about how bad the Terminator movies are in pretty much every review he does regardless of the subject matter, makes me wonder if he goes into withdrawel if he goes a whole video without saying how bad those movies were (not that they don't deserve it).