Escape to the Movies: The Expendables

[Ponchponcho]

Pfft I saw it, liked it, Dolph Lundgren gets to act like a lunatic and old spice guy gets the "guy with the BFG" role.

And what the hell are you talking about, no Blood? In the first 5 minutes Dolph somehow shoots a guy in half, in freaking half! Blood is everywhere. Hell Jason Stathem runs around the whole movie knifing the shit out of people.

Having seen both I enjoyed Expendables more than "Scott Pilgrim" aka. "Michael Cera on Autopilot" aka "Ctrl Alt Del: The Movie"

I went and saw Expendables with my dad, had a blast

Went and saw Scott Pilgrim with my girl, was a bust, enough said

What a BS review.

 

[Beefjerky]

Meh. I'll go watch this with a friend so we can get some testosterone pumping and then beat each other bloody. You were wrong about the Scott Pilgrim movie so I'm hoping you're wrong here too.

 

[Acalla]

Well. I have lost almost every respect I had for you Bob. The action in this movie was absolutely great. I have numerous times agreed with you (never really on any action, as you rarely discuss it), but this was so f**king opposite of what I thought that it's absolutely f**king ridiculous. There were plenty of memorable kills in the movie.

How about how Stallone used a pistol as a f**king machine gun? (he seriously shot fast and reloaded fast. Absolutely a cool feature).

Most of the action was well executed as well. I would really like to sit down with you and watch it and point out some awesome scenes.

F**k this. I feel so disappointed. Sh*t...

I will not stop watching your reviews as they are always worth watching, but God f**king damn I have never disagreed so much with you before, and I get the sense that you have absolutely no feel whatsoever for action.

OK... I will agree with you about the pistol re-load as being absolutely cool but can anything beat the machine-gun-shotgun in a tight hallway??? That was BAD ASS.

Oh and I totally agree with you on this review. I remember these types of movies from the 80s and totally loved it. I guess that makes me a sheep and a POC since MovieBob didn't like it. Sorry Bob, but while it seems to piss you off, some of us 30 something nerds out here remember these type of action heroes where men where MEN. And yah, this is not, by any stretch of the imagination, a great movie. But it was FUN. Its ok to have fun at the movies, right? This movie made me think of when I was a boy watching these types of movies with my father. And if my son was old enough, I would have taken him to it. I don't know about you but I still think its ok to let the testosterone flow once and a while. And Michael Cera just doesn't foot that bill.

PS.. Still agree that Transformers 2 was a POC, so you're not all bad Movie Bob ;-) And if you didn't grow up in the 80s and early 90s, you might not get as much enjoyment out of The Expendables. It helps to have a pair of nostalgia glasses with you.

 

[Devil's Due]

I could barely finish watching this review. Took a lot of strength.

I can't believe Bob this week. We are obedient sheep because we go see one of the biggest collaboration films this decade instead of watching a film that was barely advertised in many places? We are the worst kind of people on earth because we like the premise that a movie will be an homage to 80s action films?

He dropped the ball on this review. Insulting a film is one thing, insulting someone for liking it is another, but insulting people for thinking the premise sounds like a fun idea?. That's a new low. I won't even go into how much I disagree with you on the quality of the film.

For someone who tries to hinder people from being elitist nerds, you are one of the biggest elitist nerds I've seen in quite a while.

I felt a bit like this as well, normally I enjoy Movie Bob actually reviewing the movie, but this seemed like he's becoming more of a Yathzee for movies. I don't know, I guess I just didn't like this review a whole not. Not like I would have seen the movie anyways, just don't agree with how he went about in this review.

Also, am I the only person who doesn't care about Scott Pilgrim? I dislike the actor who plays Scot as he always seems view and socially awkward, and I believe the plot is nerd gets the other nerdy girl? That just seems a bit boring to me, and I dislike how the girl looks regardless, and I'm a nerd myself!

Guess this summer isn't going to have an interesting movie for me yet =( I wish I could enjoy these films, then I'd have something fun to do. Oh well. Here's to hoping next week's review will be back on track and everything back to normal!

 

[cahtush]

http://gameoverthinker.blogspot.com/
he deos that too
kind of

 

[Kuliani]

I actually liked it, but I was tired of watching girly movies with my wife, so it was my turn to pick the movie and I picked the most testosterone-in-your-face movie I could find... and I enjoyed it.

 

[Cherry Cola]

What the fuck are you talking about?

You do realize that the majority of the people that like 80s action films are nerds?

Of course not. You are in that mindset that nerds only like sci-fi and obscurity, and anything that doesn't feature video game references or pseudo-science talk isn't meant for us.

Prove it. Last time I checked, the majority of nerds like sci-fi and most others like straight-up action films.

At least we have Inception as a hallmark: but then again, it's from a well-known director who's cut his teeth in action. Something as obscure as Pilgrim is bound to go on the wayside.

Most others like straight-up action films.

Nerds living in the 21th century like 80s action films.

And don't come with bullshit like "prove it" when you yourself have done nothing to prove your own point. "Age of the jocks"? Just go and look for yourself how many nerds have grown up with films like Commando or Rambo 3 and loved the cheeziness. It's not hard.

The Nostalgia Critic loves 80s action schlock.

The Cinema Snob loves 80s action schlock.

The Spoony one loves 80s action schlock.

A majority of the people of Channel Awesome loves 80s action schlock.

Even Movie Bob said in this very review how nerds appreciate 80s schlock

Is that enough "proof" for you?

 

[Jsay18]

that review was bullshit. there was gore and blood aplenty, i remember every fight in that entire movie.

but of course he has to be a everyday critic and want, A PLOT!!!!!

ya know Movie bob, some movies aren't bad because that. it's a pure action film, dear god im never watching another of these extremely bias video's, and i was getting into it too.

 

[DarkRyter]

I didn't like it, either.

Then I went to see Inception again. I liked that alot.

 

[Just Craig]

It's a condescending film that sells itself solely by going "Hey look, we've got 'em all! All the stars of the classic action films! That's all you dumb bastards care about anyway! Now buy a ticket!"

How is it condescending if people are genuinely enjoying it and buying tickets? I hate to bring up one of my least favorite movies but if the Expendables is condescending, so is Avatar, the movie that was all about the "pretty pictures".

You'd be surprised at how much condescention flies right over people's heads in real life conversation, nevermind marketing.
And I would agree that Avatar was about pretty pictures. C'mon, look at just the design of the alien race as opposed to, say, District 9. The blue kitten people were specifically designed to be appealing and promote symapthy for them.
Oh yeah, and what about the whole 3-D thing...?

But, the matter is, I didn't hate Avatar because it was about pretty pictures. I like pretty pictures. I like the Expendables.
But Avatar was the more condescending of the two because it had obvious-as-hell crystal clear messages that it hammered into the skulls of the audiences.
I don't remember Bob complaining about that. Maybe it's because Avatar didn't come out in the same time frame as District 9, a movie that would've suffered sales if it were next to Avatar.

I won't argue which one is more condescending, it's bad enough that they simply are and yet are also absurdly popular.
...I honestly don't remember Bob's Avatar review, the comparison between its aliens and District 9's was my way agreeing with your point about Avatar being shallow. It showed that Avatar's creators thought we were all stupid enough not to feel bad about humans raping the alien land without the aliens (and their land) being attractive.
And good visuals should be icing on the cake, not the cake itself.
I guess that I feel the same way about famous actors. They should also be icing.

 

[mocruz1200]

I've never been a fan of old-school action films. After all, I'm a child of the 90's, and I grew up with Terminator 2: an action movie that actually meant something and made you think. This translated into films like The Matrix, The Borne films, and the Dark Knight. The closest I could go to a dumb action film was a now forgotten Denzel Washington film called Man on Fire, and it's worth it to see a former CIA assassin who's gazed into the abyss rip into the cartel. I love the 90's because it was a transition period: from the machisimo of the 80's to the engaging and relative intellectualism in today's pop culture.

Let's face it: there's more 80's nostalgics and douchebags out there then fans of comics, anime, and games. If the past decade was the age of the geek, the current decade is a reemergence of the age of the jock. The 80's were dark times for us geeks because this was a time when the nation actively celebrated brawn over brain. The Expendables is just a symptom of the larger problem: the jocks are getting skittish and feeling threatened by the geeks who've dominated pop culture for the past 20 years and they now want to take it back by force. And it's not just pop culture: it's politics as well.

Fellow geeks: we're on the advent of a second age of the jock. This doesn't have to be a bad thing: every decade has an ebb and flow between the two, but this age looks like a particularly aggressive one at that. Enjoy the relative social acceptance while it lasts, because it won't be long 'till our geek hobbies (anime, video games, comics, etc.) will be pushed back into the dark as socially inept hobbies while athleticism and other such activities will be celebrated.

What the fuck are you talking about?

You do realize that the majority of the people that like 80s action films are nerds?

Of course not. You are in that mindset that nerds only like sci-fi and obscurity, and anything that doesn't feature video game references or pseudo-science talk isn't meant for us.

i agree with you there. i had to read that twice in order to try and understand waht he was saying

 

[zombie711]

I thought the A team was much better. still its not that bad and the fact that they got everybody in one movie a specticle by its own right (you will be angry that bruce willis and arnold are only it the movie for 2 minutes)

 

[WanderingFool]

It's a condescending film that sells itself solely by going "Hey look, we've got 'em all! All the stars of the classic action films! That's all you dumb bastards care about anyway! Now buy a ticket!"

How is it condescending if people are genuinely enjoying it and buying tickets? I hate to bring up one of my least favorite movies but if the Expendables is condescending, so is Avatar, the movie that was all about the "pretty pictures".

You'd be surprised at how much condescention flies right over people's heads in real life conversation, nevermind marketing.
And I would agree that Avatar was about pretty pictures. C'mon, look at just the design of the alien race as opposed to, say, District 9. The blue kitten people were specifically designed to be appealing and promote symapthy for them.
Oh yeah, and what about the whole 3-D thing...?

But, the matter is, I didn't hate Avatar because it was about pretty pictures. I like pretty pictures. I like the Expendables.
But Avatar was the more condescending of the two because it had obvious-as-hell crystal clear messages that it hammered into the skulls of the audiences.
I don't remember Bob complaining about that. Maybe it's because Avatar didn't come out in the same time frame as District 9, a movie that would've suffered sales if it were next to Avatar.

What I liked about both D9 and Avatar was that they had a deeper message, in a sense, yet didnt go about preaching it, they let it just drift upon the audience.

D9, It was basically the retelling of events that happened in Africa, but used aliens as the oppressed instead of Africans.

Avatar, basically the story could be seen in the light as a retelling of what happened with the Native Americans in the United States. The Na'vi were the Indians, the military company was the expanding United States. Only difference was that the Indians won this time (This could just be how I saw it, though.) It can also be seen as nature versus technology.

Both these movies had a deeper message, but that message was delivered not through a ~70 page long speech (cookie for geussing the reference) but through the actions happening on screen.

As for The Expendables, it had no deep meaning, and IMHO, if it did, I would have liked it even less. The expendables was a pure action movie that you watch with friends and go, "HOLY FUCKING SHIT! ROAD JUST BUSTED IN THERE WITH A AUTOMATIC SHOTGUN AND KILLED EVERYONE, FUCKING AWESOME!!!!!"

 

[Epictank of Wintown]

So. Bob. I guess that makes everyone here that even considered going to see The Expendles an utter and complete piece of shit that's a dredge and detriment to human society?

What a load of bullshit. You came across as nothing more than a whiny, pretentious, artsy fucking douchebag in this rant that you've seen fit to label as a "review," and most of it seems to be about the fact that a riproaring callback to the glory days of CHEESY ACTION MOVIES did better at the box office than an indie flick that's aimed at a niche audience.

Call us whenever you find your objectivity, because I think you left it at home with your man pants.

 

[Keela]

I new this film would be terrible, anything with Jason Statham is bad in my eyes.

Also it's shame it wasn't the film people wanted I.E haveing all the pre-90s action stars getting togeather for one big genocide.

I love Jason Statham. All his movies are cheesy and rediculous, but that's exactly why I love him so much. I laughed hysterically at Crank (the second one sucked because it seemed like it actually tried to take itself seriously).

I agree totally with your second comment. That was the premise that got me so damn excited. If we ended up with Crank + Commando + Rambo + The One + The A-Team, I think we would have been looking at one of the greatest action flicks of all time. I'll still see it and have my own opinion on it, though. And I'll see Scott Pilgrim next, don't worry.

 

[C_Topher]

Well. I have lost almost every respect I had for you Bob. The action in this movie was absolutely great. I have numerous times agreed with you (never really on any action, as you rarely discuss it), but this was so f**king opposite of what I thought that it's absolutely f**king ridiculous. There were plenty of memorable kills in the movie.

How about how Stallone used a pistol as a f**king machine gun? (he seriously shot fast and reloaded fast. Absolutely a cool feature).

Most of the action was well executed as well. I would really like to sit down with you and watch it and point out some awesome scenes.

F**k this. I feel so disappointed. Sh*t...

I will not stop watching your reviews as they are always worth watching, but God f**king damn I have never disagreed so much with you before, and I get the sense that you have absolutely no feel whatsoever for action.

How was it great? Every cliché was boringly predictable; Ex team mate turns on them, check. Female informant is daughter of corrupt leader, check. And what the hell is with punching Steve Austin WHILE HE'S ON FIRE? Talk about redundant. It has no story, no plot, no reason to get involved or care. All this film had was a cast filled with testosterone fuelled alpha males, and that doesn't make a movie "great". All that did was make the fight scenes confusing to follow as you're watching kung-fu, wrestling, knife fighting, and military hand-to-hand all at the same time.
"The Expendables" was banking on its cast to cash in, and f**k it did because of individuals like you who probably get bored if they go five minutes without gunshots. Go back to shooting squirrels, you redneck.

 

[AgDr_ODST]

damn shame I had high hopes for this movie and I really wanted to see it

EDIT: you know what fuck my prior statement. I've been looking forward to this flick for a long ass time an I'll be damned if Im gonna let the highbrow bitchy opinion of a movie geek like Bob stop me from watching it and atleast coming up with my own opinion.(which might just be that i sucks) Now WTF is wrong with all of you who seem to jump on the damn bandwagon and bash it just because BOB got his tits in a twist and decided he hated it???

 

[Mangue Surfer]

But you know that the movie is dedicated to the redneck public.
See, at Comic-Con Sylvester Stallone used racism against latinos to promote the movie, to create identification with the target audience. Seriously guys, racism to promote a movie?!

In this case, like it or not, to criticize the movie is criticize the audience for which it was made. Bob only made this more transparent.

 

[Aiddon_v1legacy]

GodDAMN I love you Bob. Yeah, this movie is SHIT, it's nothing more than a film pandering to one of the most pathetic of all ideas: BEING MACHO. Seriously, FUCK THAT, that bullshit DIED back when directors and writers started being more respectful of their medium and had actors learn how to do action. Pretty much the only guy from that era who is remembered fondly for those movies on a universal is Arnie and that's mostly because he was directed by great action directors like Cameron and McTiernan. One could argue for Willis and Gibson, but they also proved that they had legitimate acting chops.

And hell, Bob isn't above a movie just being dumb fun. His favorite film of all time: ROBOCOP. He liked the A-Team, Zombieland, The Evil Dead trilogy, Predators, etc, etc. Critics in fact know how to have FUN more than anyone else and that's why they have no tolerance for schlock, nor should they.

 

[samus17]

I saw this movie (before this review mind you) and I was bored, and I regret paying money for this. Total waste of my time.