Escape to the Movies: The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

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Samurai Goomba

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Sephiroth_deus said:
Samurai Goomba said:
You certainly weren't the first to say what you did about Twilight's message, but I don't think you're any less right for it.
1.)Well said sir.
2.)Awesome profile pic.

OT: Bob I hope they give you a huge dose of happy pills for the next movie. At least it'll be another year or two before the next one and by then another Daybreakers may come out. Here's to hoping. :)
Your profile pic suggests you have good taste, not to mention you knew what my picture was. I think you're the first to actually recognize it without me having to explain.

As long as we're hoping, I hope Stephanie Meyer stays sick of Twilight. That'd be sweet, either people will recognize she's only going through the motions at this point (not that she ever wasn't) or she'll give up "writing" Twilight as it becomes too dull and boring for her. You know, the way it is for the rest of us.
 

Lim3

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Feb 15, 2010
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Gold!

I already posted my twilight comments here:

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.205871-My-problem-with-Twilight#6959236
 

Firia

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When I saw there was a movie called "Eclipse" being reviewed, I was like, "Eclipse? That sounds pretty cool." But then the intro credits rolled, and it was Twilight Eclipse! UGH! Poor Bob.

Still though, I laughed pretty hard at the Frisbee thing. I felt a little Yahtzee inspiration there. And a good Twilight rant never gets old. :)
 

Proarcher

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Jan 24, 2010
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SirCannonFodder said:
Why did they have you review this? I mean, who among the Escapist's audience was possibly considering going to see this?
Watch the video before you comment fool, he obviously has a point he wanted to get across.
 

Krunkcity3000

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Mar 12, 2008
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I totally disagree. The majority of subliminal assaults on young girls arent telling them to be virgins and marry as soon as possible. In fact I think it's quite the opposite.

Try to pick 5 Top selling female entertainers who A). Haven't made a living of potraying a total slut and/or a bisexual.(Lady GaGa) B). Become famous for boning some guy on a sextape.(Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian......)

But back to the movie. I refuse to watch it. The sad thing is I'm 27 and in the military. I supervise people from 18-22 and a couple of guys under 20 brought this franchise to my attention. Guys actually thought this looked awesome by the trailer that showed and emo vamp stalking a chick. Does this say something about the death of the manly man in our society. Hell, I'm not even 10 years older than these guys. WTF happened?

Even cartoons suck compared to the hard ass cartoons of the 80's. Granted the 80's tunes werent works of art but they weren't girly. The only girly tendencies our heroes had was the fact they didn't murder their enemies when they had the chance at the end of each episode.
 

RestamSalucard

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Feb 26, 2010
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Gereiam said:
True, true but it may seem abusive to us. Who are we to judge them (yeah i know that statment pisses me off too because if we dont judge then there wont be no forum) this may prove the love each has for the other. or lack thereof. and is it abusive to keep one's love's family safe by moving away so one's love's family doesnt come into contact with one's...friends :p
1st, there's a quote button at the bottom right of each post; second, come again?

EDIT:
Krunkcity3000 said:
Even cartoons suck compared to the hard ass cartoons of the 80's. Granted the 80's tunes werent works of art but they weren't girly. The only girly tendencies our heroes had was the fact they didn't murder their enemies when they had the chance at the end of each episode.
I don't know, the 90's stuff was pretty dark. Batman, Gargoyles, they even took Sonic the Hedgehog and turned it into Terminator meets the Cybermen.
 

Warnolo

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Apr 30, 2010
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Krunkcity3000 said:
I totally disagree. The majority of subliminal assaults on young girls arent telling them to be virgins and marry as soon as possible. In fact I think it's quite the opposite.

Try to pick 5 Top selling female entertainers who A). Haven't made a living of potraying a total slut and/or a bisexual.(Lady GaGa) B). Become famous for boning some guy on a sextape.(Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian......)

But back to the movie. I refuse to watch it. The sad thing is I'm 27 and in the military. I supervise people from 18-22 and a couple of guys under 20 brought this franchise to my attention. Guys actually thought this looked awesome by the trailer that showed and emo vamp stalking a chick. Does this say something about the death of the manly man in our society. Hell, I'm not even 10 years older than these guys. WTF happened?

Even cartoons suck compared to the hard ass cartoons of the 80's. Granted the 80's tunes werent works of art but they weren't girly. The only girly tendencies our heroes had was the fact they didn't murder their enemies when they had the chance at the end of each episode.
I'm 26 and i feel your pain...
 

ChupathingyX

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Jun 8, 2010
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OMG that frisby joke was so hilarious, ahhh the thing I love most about the Twilight movies is knowing Bob will be able to make 5 minute long laugh filled vid explaining how bad it is so I don't need to watch it muself. Tanks!
 

C-Demo

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Mar 11, 2010
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THEAFRONINJA said:
Alucard, help us all.
That reminds me, i had a dream about Alucard (Hellsing) killing all the twilight characters after i was forced to watch the first movie.

BEST. DREAM. EVER.

Someone start a petition to have the Hellsing animators do a short of this. please.
 

Faerillis

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Oct 29, 2009
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Gereiam said:
Hmm, so your actually saying that because i married at a young age.....im gonna beat my wife up and have crazy kids? And that everyone needs to be banged up before they ....what....commit?...marry?...live together until they get bored?......whats your idea of a good and healthy relationship? dude! movie critic aside, im concerned you have an unhealthy and strong dislike towards the godly, the celebate and or the preachy..... as annoying as they seem thier intentions are honest and good.

Are you saying we should bed the person we choose to be for life with before we make the final decision? that virginity is an unimportant joke? Sorry bro but i was just ticked off at the statment you made in the review, free opions and all.

Movie Bob says............SO WHAT!!!!!!!
Virginity is unimportant. The practice of premarital celibacy always has been an actual tool of female repression? How you say? The hymen was physical proof that the woman, treated as property traded through marriage until very recently, had not been used by anyone else and was a store of value.There is no logical reason besides this for premarital celibacy, which is different than being cautious about who you screw is different from not screwing people. Don't teach people to avoid sex, perhaps it would be better to make sure they are able to make informed decisions (though as that seems the antithesis of religion...).

Remember that in context the "godly" says men shouldn't have long hair, you can sell your daughter into slavery and that you should stone to death disobedient children. I can understand why people would treat it with disdain.

@ Krunkcity:
Yes there are far more people famous for sex tapes and ultra-sexual, however these aren't subliminal they are rather explicit in this message. Moreover the people revered for this share one common trait (actually they seem to share it with Meyers but...) they are stupid as all hell. If a kid respects, reveres, impersonates or otherwise venerates these people it is an issue of parenting not advertising. I can't think of a single person with an ounce of critical thinking ability who can stand people like the Kardashians, Paris Hilton etc.

On that same note Twilight baffles me. Smart women, critical thinkers and other people who would despise the people listed above enjoy this work despite the fact that it is poorly written, poorly devised, uncritical and most importantly trying to cram an equally bad (and if you can't guess from my other statements IMO worse) message. Is it that I am overestimating these women or is there something in that book that the Y-Chromosome counters?
 

Ian S

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Aug 31, 2009
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Finally! Bob put forth a really coherent, and cogent, argument about why this series is bad. Up until now, I haven't heard any argument against the Twilight Saga that didn't boil down to either, "vampires don't sparkle" or "it's a lame teenage romance series" when both are really just matters of taste. In the case of the first, as John Funk pointed out in his "View From the Road" column (which you can [a href=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/view-from-the-road/7603-View-from-the-Road-What-Do-WoW-and-Twilight-Have-in-Common]read in its entirety here[/a]), is that if that concept were done by someone with more talent and creativity, we'd probably be more accepting of it. In the case of the second, teenagers for whom the series is targeted really couldn't care less as there's no accounting for taste, really, when you're a kid or a teenager. Like Bob said in his "Stealing From the Next Generation" article in his Intermission column, we thought a lot of things were cool or good when we were 14. But then we grew up.

But I think what Bob said rings true most of all. I don't know if Stephanie Meyer is consciously pushing an agenda or not with these books. Writers, as they say, tend to write what they know and often tend to use their stories or their characters as mouthpieces for their own personal soapboxes whether they realize it or not. So for Meyer as a Mormon to be writing stories that espouse her Mormon beliefs shouldn't come as much of a surprise. But at least we as informed adults are aware of it. Teenage and tween girls on the other hand may not be, so they may not know of this series' implications, and that's what's troubling about it. (Of course, like Bob said, putting it that way may make me sound like people like Dave Grossman and Jack Thompson who have said, "Video games teach kids to kill," which would make me in effect just as bad as they are).

Still, it's probably the best argument I've heard against this series, and makes for a more legitimate one than any others I've heard about why it shouldn't be liked.

Oh, and Bob, you really only have to do this one more time. Breaking Dawn comes after this and it's the last book in the series. The one after that is simply a retelling of the series from Edward's perspective. As creatively bankrupt as Hollywood may be, I doubt even they would want to make the same movie twice.
 

Gentleman_Reptile

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I cant put it any better than Bob already has. I wholeheartedly encourage everyone to sit down a Twilight fan in front of Bobs review and convert their stupid minds back to the land of logic.

I've seen the first movie (because I was one of those unfortunate ignorants who heard the words 'Vampire fighting Werewolves') and despised it sice. I've seen enough clips of the other movies to know that this series needs to crawl away into a hole and fucking die.
 

Primitive George

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Apr 10, 2010
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You know what would improve this movie?
Dinosaurs. That stomp on houses. With rocket boots.
And lasers. Burning blue lasers.
And maybe some zombie ninjas which she hasn't blankly stared at with her souless eyes and somehow in some fucked dimension seduced them.
And maybe the fucking Power Rangers.... killing everyone involved.
The awards it would win for Best Drama.
 

Impluse_101

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Jun 25, 2009
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ShredHexus said:
My girlfriend just came home from seeing Eclipse. She went on at length about how the movie was 'absolutely perfect', 'incredible', and how she is now 'totally obsessed'

I feel like crying :(
*Gives you a man hug* It's gonna be ok.....It's gonna be ok... It's gonna be ok....
 

Impluse_101

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The Cheezy One said:
vivalahelvig said:
The Cheezy One said:
this film has ruined my birthday
im usually excited to see the words 30th june, but not on thaty poster
Happy birthday....want a free twightlight eclipse t-shirt with Edward on the front?
i cant think of anything that would ruin my day more :)
*Crate Drops down on your door step and opens to reveal a whole lot of guns and ammunition with a note that says: Go to this location to have a great birthday, and bring those guns to. Your gonna want them. The map shows the X marks the spot location with a face of edward all bloodyed up and dead*
 

The Cheezy One

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Dec 13, 2008
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Impluse_101 said:
The Cheezy One said:
vivalahelvig said:
The Cheezy One said:
this film has ruined my birthday
im usually excited to see the words 30th june, but not on thaty poster
Happy birthday....want a free twightlight eclipse t-shirt with Edward on the front?
i cant think of anything that would ruin my day more :)
*Crate Drops down on your door step and opens to reveal a whole lot of guns and ammunition with a note that says: Go to this location to have a great birthday, and bring those guns to. Your gonna want them. The map shows the X marks the spot location with a face of edward all bloodyed up and dead*
i cant think of anything more enjoyable :)