Escapist Election Ballot Box!
- Thread starter Larenxis
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It's true. Most alcoholics have noticeably fewer epiphanies than non-alcoholics. A liver transplant is the only way to restore your epiphany-having abilities.Lord Krunk post=362.69158.652022 said:
Not at the moment; but at my surrealonomy lab I can probably cook you up some kind of phobia-related carcinoma.PurpleRain post=362.69158.652086 said:
Fear is a disease.
Fear IS a cancer.
You cannot get Fear Cancer. However, you cannot get cancer of the Star Destroyer Primary Firing Beam either, so touché.PurpleRain post=362.69158.652086 said:
I shall never tell... but irregardless, just wearing them saps your will to live and transforms you into some form of child eating demon. Did I mention that we now have Calven Klein models, featuring Zhull as our model? Thanks to his image, we are racking in the EVIL PROFITS.PurpleRain post=362.69158.651954 said:
Mwuahahahaha
Also, doomed to die a most horrible death ninja says what?
I certainly hope it isnt the Kite Eating Tree, as I have several appointments with that specific tree. Find your own EVIL tree!Ultrajoe post=362.69158.651886 said:
Mwuahahahahaha
Wha- Oh you nearly got me on that one. Ah well, least it good to see that we're making a nice profit off something. Good to see you won't be utterly useless before you die.The_Toe_Bighter98 said:
Curses, and I was so close as well. But nevertheless, when this election is over my evil minions shall overwhelm your pitiful army of rats, for I have my own army of furries! Dont worry, I had the rats poisened when I helped create them, so the furries wont live long enough to pose much of a threat. TO EVIL THAT IS.
Mwuahahahaha
Mwuahahahaha
Not for long.Spartan Bannana post=362.69158.652344 said:
Typing that was made a lot more awesome because I've got the Kill Bill fight theme playing right now.
Speaking as a former leader of the ULTRA PARTY, the only party in this election that ran a fair and sensIble campaign, Rain's Purple Reign has my full and unabashed support.
People of the Escapist! Trust in your fear! Trust, in Purple Rain!
People of the Escapist! Trust in your fear! Trust, in Purple Rain!
Seriously! Purple Rain and the SDP are tied at the moment!
Vote SDP: Not only are we the sensible choice, but did we mention that you get your own supercar and pool if you vote for us?
Vote SDP: Not only are we the sensible choice, but did we mention that you get your own supercar and pool if you vote for us?
ZEM News is on the scene.
Well, he have here the candidate's summaries of their campaigns, written by themselves. Not the most unbiased things in the world, and walls of text to boot, so Zemalac International is here to once more perform the service that we started our company with.
That is, summaries of the candidates. ULTRAJOE has already done a summary, and you can use ours as another source of information.
Purple Rain is running as a power-mad tyrant bent on the destruction of pretty much everything. Using his legion of rat-slaves and a couple dark gods with unpronouncable names, Rain's platform is based on forcing everyone into labor camps to make weapons of mass destruction. His opponants have continually accused him of being an evil maniac, which he has responded to by laughing insanely and eating a child.
John Galt is running on a platform of capitalism and free-marked economics, with a side order of 4chan-ish lulz. His economic plans call for privitization of all enterprises and for all opponents to be thrown in debtor's prison. He plans on having most heavy labor done by controlled zombies, and there was also some mention of zombie-crewed robotic airships. All in all, a respectable, business-suited candidate with more money than god.
Darth Mobius is basing his campain on the might of the Dark Side and Star Destroyers. He has promised all who vote for him a supercar, free beer, cookies, and a pool, an enticing offer that has won him many voters. He has presented himself as a family-friendly candidate, a man who understands the troubles of the common man as well as the need for defense. Of all the parties his supporters were the most active throughout the election, supporters drawn to him by his initial promise of death to all reality TV show contestants.
Saskwach is the etheral candidate, the candidate that no one can remember ever doing anything but occasionally making an impassioned speech. He did, however, survive all the elimination rounds despite not participating in them, and has somehow reached the final vote. He's like Schrodinger's Candidate.
Time will tell who will emerge the victor. At the time of this posting Purple Rain has 10 votes, Galt has 7, Mobius has 10, and Saskwach has 2.
This has been a ZEM News Postcast
Zemalac International
Washing Your Brain
Well that didn't last very long now did it? Looks like Galt is getting left behindJallil Vlos post=362.69158.653128 said: