Ever Been [b]IN[/b] Love?

[mrtenk]

So, I decided that was it. I returned the engagement ring to the shop, took a copy of both the receipt I had gotten when I bought the ring and when I returned it and mailed to copies to my now-ex-girlfriend. I had underlined the dates and the words 'engagement ring x1'.

I didn't answer her calls. She stopped trying three weeks later. I figured, if she was willing to throw away three years together in an increasingly serious relationship for a try at my best friend, then she wasn't the girl I wanted to marry. And attempting to fix whatever pieces were left felt futile and too much hard work for too little gain. After all, I would never be able to forget that feeling of betrayal, so indeed friends was the absolute best we could have hoped for.

That's an admirable way to go about the breakup. If she's not ready for commitment and she goes as far as to go out with your best friend the best thing you can do is show that level of humility.

Anyways I once thought I was in love, but things really went south when I started to realize she was in love with what I represented and not in love with me. See, a good mutual relationship can only exist if two people understand each other on an emotional level. However if the only thing they can see is on the surface and there's no deeper understanding then things really get hairy.

Also her relationships seemed to follow a model. She was deeply obsessed with the movie Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind, and each of her relationships tended to follow that trend. Too her, I was just another Joel. Towards the end of our relationship I realized that it was a relationship in the same way playing house could be considered marriage.

It was a hard thing to accept, and sure it took several months to get over the backlash. but it all sort of dissolves over time. Take my advice, and get over her. Preoccupy yourself with other responsibilities. Try to find someone else. When somthing like that doesn't work out in the first place it becomes obsession, not love. Best of luck on your endeavors.