Expectations, Relationships, Sex, Thoughts?

[MrCollins]

I watched porn before I ever had sex, and I don't think it negatively affected my expectations on it.
Basically, I just reminded myself before the fact that porn is completely unrealistic has little to do with sex.

If anything I dare say, I enjoyed the sex a lot more than porn led me to believe because of the great intimacy I felt with the girl. The problem is not necessarily with the way porn depicts sex, but the way that people perceive it in relation to reality (in my opinion, a similar argument can be made in relation to violence).

Also, I've noticed ;ate;y that there is now what I don't know what to call except "tender porn", where there is a lot more kissing and the sex is both gentler and slower. This is possibly for a female audience, but still, I think it reflects a slow change in peoples' viewing habits.

 

[DugMachine]

Anybody who uses porn to set their standards is just delusional and has never had a real relationship of any worth.

Granted, the first time I had sex I assumed i'd be at master sage level and able to go 30+ minutes cause of all the porn I watched but that dream got squashed right quick. Most girls don't look like porn stars and most guys don't have huge shlongs. Such is life.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

There have been many arguments that the common viewing of pornography can put unreasonable expectations on women, and that men who want healthy relationships should not view any sort of porn.
Note: This is not my personal belief but just a thought I had.

So noted.

I feel a need to FacePalm anyway. What a stupid theory.

That's like saying that watching Sex and the City gives women unreasonable expectations on men.

Or that watching South Park gives parents unreasonable expectations on children.

Pretty much every guy I've dated has watched porn. You know what? If anything, it HELPED - they had a general idea of where my clit was and how to stimulate me. Some porn is better about that than other porn, true. Also, every woman is different, so there's only so much that study can accomplish. And some positions that look good in porn are really uncomfortable or just don't bring me to orgasm.

BUT... just as often, porn inspired new ideas during sex that worked. There are positions that I would have never considered if the guy hadn't seen it in a porn video first and asked me to try it. My very favorite position I learned from a guy who was trying to emulate tying a woman from the ceiling. He didn't tie me up, but he put my feet up on his shoulder and I discovered the fastest route in the universe to a G-spot orgasm. And don't even get me started on the guy I used to date who made a habit of watching Squirting Orgasm porn. His hand jobs were the stuff of legends.

So yeah... those people are idiots. Porn is entertainment, so anyone who watches porn and thinks that is how relationships works is an idiot (just like you wouldn't take medical advice from a fictional TV show, or legal advice from Law and Order).

 

[Mr F.]

I expect nothing. Because every single partner you will EVER HAVE will be different from the last. They will want different things, they will like doing different things, you get the idea.

Hell, had a girlfriend who expressed no interest whatsoever in sucking my cock. Fair enough, all the more power to her. She loved riding me though. Had another one who fucking loved sucking, would do it whenever, yet did not really like penetrative sex, so we did a lot more foreplay then anything else. You get the idea. People are different. Personally I fucking love foreplay, yet I am clingy as fuck. What I want out of a relationship is lots of hugs and mutual happiness.

Expectations are utterly pointless.

As long as both people are happy, nothing else matters. Cause I have had things expected of me that I am unwilling to do (You want me to tie you up? Sure. You want me to hogtie you and do degrading things with multiple toys? Imma running away now) and I know there will be a lot of gals in this thread who have had things expected of them.

Just fuck all expectations, that way when shit is good it is surprising.

Just make sure that you let people know of your kinks if things are starting to get serious. Will just lead to people getting hurt if it takes you too long.

 

[Vault101]

That's kinda... degrading. It depends on the woman, but I would go so far as to say most prefer it rough

while I wouldn't say "sexist" it also isnt great to assume you kno what most/all women like...as you said its only anecdotal evidence

anyway I think the point he was making was that porn isnt a good example of how "great" sex is

Whoa nelly. Oral is "intense sexual stuff"? I'm going to have to throw in with Dan Savage on this one, Oral is pretty "standard" these days. Everyone is entitled to their hang-ups, but oral sex falls firmly in vanilla territory. It certainly does not share a category with Anal, which if requested is likely to get you either hard stares from your partner (if female) or terrified apoplexy (if male). Unless you are a homosexual male, in which case I suppose it'll get you a wink and a nod.

oral might seem commonplace but that doesnt mean everyones comfortable with it,