Explain teenage mothers to me

[White_Lama]

Because they can get on tv-shows, that's why.

In my opinion, giving birth to a kid you're going to keep in the age of 10-18 is a waste of your own life, since then you got 18 years of taking care of that kid.

I'd like to see the world before that thank you very much.

 

[Tombaugh]

Young sluts with more maternal instincts than brain power.

 

[Damien Granz]

...Because I really can't wrap my head around the idea.

I can understand accidental teenage pregnancies. Mistakes can be made. People can be eager. Condoms can break. Accidental pregnancies make sense.

What I'm bothered by are these girls who, at a very young age, willingly step into motherhood with smiling faces and eager hearts. Why do they do it? What is the intended satisfaction?

I have an acquaintance from way back in high school. She became pregnant almost immediately after graduating. Rather than be sad or panicked she reported, via Facebook, that all had gone as planned and she was delighted. Fast forward to the present and, just by watching the status updates that I keep forgetting to unsubscribe to, you can tell that she's bored, poor, and lonely (her baby daddy has apparently vanished).

So, who can explain this whole mess to me?

Teenage pregnancy is both not in any way new (weddings of 13 years olds were common in antiquity), or the crisis you want to make it out to be (teenage pregnancies have been on decline for decades; it's just been our intolerance of them as we've decided that an adult has to be 16.. no 18.. no 21.. no 24.. no 27.. no 30.. before they're 'ready' to start a family).

So, you're fretting over a whole sack of nothing.

 

[Soxafloppin]

There probably just trying to make the best of it.

I mean if its an accident then it wasn't' intended and they obviously couldn't bring themselves to abort the child, they're probably just trying to make the best of it.

 

[SillyBear]

I'm very skeptical of the whole thing. I don't believe you when you say that so many teenage girls willfully fall pregnant. I'd like to see some statistics for that. The percentage of teen girls who fall pregnant after planning for it would be slim to none. So slim it's ridiculous acting like it's a real problem or a real drain on society.

 

[viranimus]

I only am expressing my opinion about this. Yes it is generalizing. Yes it is based on anecdotal experience. Thats why it is an opinion and not a statement of fact.

I think we need to stop trying to give credit where credit is certainly not due. Its not about maternal instincts, its not about love, what it boils down to is teenage girls have a nasty tendency to make insanely stupid decisions. (Not to say teenage boys dont make stupid decisions too)

I say this as someone who was literally inches away from being murdered thanks to the effects of the decision making ability of a teenage girl. So, honestly the rationale is pretty much irrelevant, because in the scheme of things it will never be that logical or make sense. It might well be that they want something to love them. It might be that they hope if the boy gets her pregnant they will be together for ever. It might be parental rebellion, it might be anything, but the one thing I can pretty much guarantee you is that the reasoning will NOT be thought out very well. All you really need to know is many teenage girls make stupid decisions, and those decisions have a tendency to effect not only their lives but lives around them.

Spoiler: Before anyone asks

Overview

Synopsis

 

[DeleteThisAcc]

IMHO it's because of all that "you must have bf/gf" that is beaten into their heads from childhood by everyone around them. Then they start thinking that they are mature enough to have a family and doesn't think about consequences.

 

[HardRockSamurai]

Since I'm neither a teenage girl in high school (I'm a male, in college), nor have I ever been pregnant (again, I'm a male; the closest thing I'll ever have to experiencing an actual pregnancy is playing The Sims 2 without cheat codes), I cannot describe exactly what goes through the mind of a pregnant teenager who decides to go through with giving birth.

However, the reason this thread exists is because most people believe that pregnant teenagers came to be that way through bad decision making, and that being a teenage parent is inherently a big mistake. That's a load of crap.

First of all, it's not like there's anything inherently wrong with being a teenage parent; it's not like any child born to a mother under the age of 20 is going to be at any disadvantage (or be born with gills).

Secondly, while it's true that most teenage pregnancies are unintended, they are almost never caused by a lack of education, maternal instincts, financial problems, mental disorders or sheer ignorance; these are just the causes and explanations we're exposed to the most often. The result: everyone who's ever taken a SexEd class now has a Confirmation bias, and thinks that teen pregnancy occurs solely those reasons.

And finally, sometimes, believe it or not, it's the right decision. I'm good friends with a girl who had a baby during her last year in high school; and as of right now, her life is probably a whole lot better than mine. If being a teenage mother was the hindrance most people believe it to be, that probably wouldn't be the case now, would it?

 

[Wintermoot]

it,s mostly in countries where there is a huge taboo on sex meaning there is barely any sex ed past "sex is bad" and "babies come from the stork!".
either that or they don't pay attention to biology.
I also think it,s terrible that they turn it in a fucking TV show maybe if schools start teaching sex ed they might prevent this stuff (since I,m not in the US I don't know what they teach in biology)

Sex Ed typically is rolled into 'Home Ec,' or has its own class (Health, etc). Soem schools may do it in Home Room, if they have it.

Laughably enough, Sex Ed is more common, and more successful, in rural areas... where teen pregnancy is less likely to occur anyway, due to a lack of a large enough social network to support large groups of dating teens. It gets less prevalent in urban areas, where politics actually happen.

so it,s not taught in Biology at all?

 

[Shoggoth2588]

I assume the ones who keep their kids are pressured into keeping them by friends, family or, baby-daddies who hold a stigma against abortions or, adoption. It makes no sense to me whatsoever but I'm sure things like Teen Mom and, 16 and Pregnant don't really help the problem more than they glamorize the situation. Hell, I know I can barely take care of myself. If I was forced out on my own, ALL alone, I probably wouldn't last very long. Maybe if I got lucky MAYBE but that would require a lot of luck and a second job at the very least. I don't know what those girls are thinking but then again, it could be a lack of thought on their parts that leads them into that situation. As for girls/young women who want to be teenage brides/mothers...that's just something completely different and yet, just as alien a concept to me.

 

[DefunctTheory]

it,s mostly in countries where there is a huge taboo on sex meaning there is barely any sex ed past "sex is bad" and "babies come from the stork!".
either that or they don't pay attention to biology.
I also think it,s terrible that they turn it in a fucking TV show maybe if schools start teaching sex ed they might prevent this stuff (since I,m not in the US I don't know what they teach in biology)

Sex Ed typically is rolled into 'Home Ec,' or has its own class (Health, etc). Soem schools may do it in Home Room, if they have it.

Laughably enough, Sex Ed is more common, and more successful, in rural areas... where teen pregnancy is less likely to occur anyway, due to a lack of a large enough social network to support large groups of dating teens. It gets less prevalent in urban areas, where politics actually happen.

so it,s not taught in Biology at all?

Biology is science. Sex Ed is viewed more as a social issue.

I mean, the reproductive cycle is taught in Biology (Or basic Science). But thats not really 'Sex Ed.'

 

[Fasckira]

In the UK its generally because getting a baby = free money.

Government pays out cash to single unemployed mums so this means a girl doesnt have to bother working and carry on partying with only having to worry about dropping their baby off on time to benefit funded nursery's and ensuring they can get their parents to look after the baby at the weekends.

 

[Wintermoot]

it,s mostly in countries where there is a huge taboo on sex meaning there is barely any sex ed past "sex is bad" and "babies come from the stork!".
either that or they don't pay attention to biology.
I also think it,s terrible that they turn it in a fucking TV show maybe if schools start teaching sex ed they might prevent this stuff (since I,m not in the US I don't know what they teach in biology)

Sex Ed typically is rolled into 'Home Ec,' or has its own class (Health, etc). Soem schools may do it in Home Room, if they have it.

Laughably enough, Sex Ed is more common, and more successful, in rural areas... where teen pregnancy is less likely to occur anyway, due to a lack of a large enough social network to support large groups of dating teens. It gets less prevalent in urban areas, where politics actually happen.

so it,s not taught in Biology at all?

Biology is science. Sex Ed is viewed more as a social issue.

I mean, the reproductive cycle is taught in Biology (Or basic Science). But thats not really 'Sex Ed.'

in the biology I had they taught everything even stuff I didn't need to know (like the menstruation cycle)
weird they don't teach it since it,s basic biology.

 

[Wintermoot]

Well, I don't know about the States, but there is a reality show that airs here called Sixteen and Pregnant.

I am dead serious.

Between that and Toddlers and Tiaras, I'm really starting to worry about society.

my sister watches 16 and Pregnant I hope she makes better life decisions then the people on the show.
I also find it ridiculous they glamorize that stuff.

 

[Dark Knifer]

why should their be some age limit

Because the primary decision making part of the brain in a teenager or child is not the same as one of an adult. The human brain has a part that is called the prefrontal cortex. It works as the boss of the brain, making rational and calculated thoughts. The thing is, this is the last part of the brain to develop in a person, meaning that the decision making is left up to the amygdala, which houses impulses and emotions.

These age barriers in society do actually have a psychological basis and, on average, you could argue that teen parents would not think things through as a full fledged adult would. Obviously, there are exceptions, some adults not making rational decisions and teens being completely capale of those types of decisions but having a general guideline seems ok, but discriminating against anyone who doesn't follow these guidelines is not on.

I don't have any stigma against teen parents but I do acknowledge that guidelines in age do indeed have a basis but shouldn't be enforced, just encouraged.

 

[WorldofHarvis]

Well in England they get benefits aka money and people will do pretty much anything for money.

Other than that I can only assume that the girls get pregnant by mistake and don't want an abortion.

 

[JesterRaiin]

What I'm bothered by are these girls who, at a very young age, willingly step into motherhood with smiling faces and eager hearts. Why do they do it? What is the intended satisfaction?

Most of uncommon human behaviors can be explained by chemical imbalance, lack or overflow of some enzymes or hormones. We're practically steered by tiny drops of some poisons our bodies create and we still mantain that we have free will.

So, chemistry and reaction to its magic.

 

[bluegate]

I guess that there are several contributing factors to this situation and I would like to highlight one of them.

Think about this for a little while: women, in our society, are almost condition to get pregnant ( And try and get married / get a guy ) and get a baby from the day can crawl. We give little girls baby-dolls and barbies to play with, we have baby dolls that poop, cry, wiggle, ask for attention. We are pretty much instilling the idea of having a baby into the heads of little children from a young age. We have little cooking sets for girls, little model ironing boards, if you stop to think about it, you'll find yourself asking: what message are we conveying to our young girls...